ive been trying to find the remedy, but I just can't seem to find it, people say its right in front of my eyes, but I guess I'm fucking blind. likes:
10k comments: 7k
user: ITS OKAY BABY
user: your so mentally fucked up for hurting Jade like that.
user: ^^ yeah.
Kim: hmu baby.
user: BYE BITCH BYE^
user: she was down for you. you fucked up.
user: get you sum hoes bro n stop playing wit these fake ass bitches.
Jades POV
to close my eyes and blow my mother fucking brains out, to let the bullet pierce my skull and drain the pain out.
likes: 5k comments: 1k
user: is this about Perrie?
user: ^ STOP BRINGING IT UP CUNT
user: stay strong gorgeous.
kim: she's with me right now bitch.
user: @PL^^ you're so fucked up.
user: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
PL: y'all dumb as fuck if y'all gon believe Kim.
I'm still staying at Chris until I can get my own apartment again. its been about 3 weeks since I last talked to Perrie . and I'm still feeling like shit. lately, I haven't been myself. I've cried almost every night before I go to bed because it's so hard to sleep without her next to me. and from what I've heard, she's been doing so good without me.
I'm home alone because Chris went out to get food for dinner. I'm ashamed of it, but I've started to self harm. I know it's not going to help with anything, but id rather take my pain out on myself than others.
private messages:
unknown number: your a piece of shit.
unknown number 2: Perrie was too good for you.
unknown number 3: heard you're already fucking with another guy?
unknown number 4: SKANK.
I've had enough. I went to the bathroom and filled the tub with water. I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. I saw a girl with no future. I no longer even saw myself as someone important.
Perrie meant the most to me. she always knew how to make me feel the best I ever did. I punched the mirror, leaving blood trickling down my knuckles into the cold, white sink. I got a handful of pills and contemplated this for a little while. is this worth it? no wait, is Perrie worth this? I drowned the pills out with a cup of water.
I sat in the warm water In the tub, surrounding me, making my pajamas I haven't changed out of in 3 days flare around my body. then I felt a slight haziness. then around 10 minutes passed. I started to cough up blood.
Chris POV
I got back to the house around 7 pm. I was only gone for about an hour. I saw all the hate was getting on social media so I decided to go out and get her food to try to make her feel better. " Jade!! I'm back! I got your favorite milkshake!" I yelled walking through the door. but I didn't see her.
I started to look around the house, her room, my room, the kitchen, the gym, but no. she was nowhere to be found. so I decided to see if she was in the shower. I walked by the bathroom and I heard coughing. " JADE! you in there !?" I asked knocking on the door. but no answer. I heard the water running. I knew Jade had been depressed for the past few weeks so I started to worry.
"Jade are you okay???!" I yell getting more worried. then the coughing stops. "JADE!!!" I cry out. pounding on the door. she wasn't answering. I threw my whole body at the door. knocking it down. then I saw. her. she was pale, but still softly breathing. I saw the pill bottles. and I saw the puddles of blood with small pills buried under it.
I run to her and pick her up out of the water. she was still breathing, but it was faintly. I pulled my phone out and called 911. when the ambulance got here and took her away, I got in my car and headed to the hospital. following behind.
Perrie's POV
I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw that Chris guy posted this.
your beautiful Jade. suicide is not the answer !!! stay strong. if you wanna send cards, please come to California Health Hospital
likes: 11k comments:10k
user: I didn't think she'd actually do it...
user: omg... crying.
user: I bet it was perries fault.
my heart was racing.
I dropped to the floor and started sobbing. I've never cried over a girl like this in so long. I dropped everything I was doing and got in my car and headed to the hospital.
There were people standing outside the hospital with " PRAYING FOR JADE" and suicide hotline numbers on posters. I ran inside the hospital and saw Chris and a whole bunch of other people I recognized. her ex, her brother and I'm guessing a man who was her father.
" WHERE IS SHE!" I ran up to Chris and shouted. every head In the room turned and looked at me. I was crying my eyes out. I've never felt such pain before. "Perrie calm down..." Chris held me tight trying to get me to calm down. I broke down and collapsed on the floor. Chris put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes and whispered. "I know you love her...she needs you Perrie..shes been a mess without you..she did this because of you," he said that last little bit with hatred in his voice.
We sat in the waiting room for a good 3 hours or so than a doctor with a blue clipboard walked out of the double doors with cold stone eyes. He looked over at the crowd and started walking towards us. " family and friends of Jade Thirlwall..."
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Tell me what yall think about this chapter. This was kind of a long chapter and I was starting to get lazy but finally, here I am finished with the chapter, lol. I'll try to post more today or maybe sometime over the weekend. Hope you enjoyed!