Basically, tonight was great.
I reached home a little over eleven at night but it’s all right, because my curfew was normally, the latest, eleven-thirty and that meant I haven’t broken Mom’s rule. Besides, we were playing, having fun―around the small bonfire.
Yes, bonfire and it was so much fun trying to start the fire.
One; because the guys couldn’t ignite it which made Alli and I laugh. We knew they were trying, but they were they screamed here and there, and everywhere, it was just too funny resisting laughing. I did, however, envied their determination.
Two; they panicked all throughout. Three; all of us had to run into the woods nearby to collect tree branches.
If it were to be me trying to do so, I would’ve given up on the third try.
They tried for a good twelve times because of the wind and lack of wooden sticks before all of us sat around the fire on big wooden logs, accepting the welcoming warmth that radiated off the fire like the sun radiating heat waves.
Well, it’s the same thing…right?
But anyway, my character shows just how determined I am to survive my cancer. If I’m not one that’s determined, that means I wouldn’t be determined in whatever I do.
Because, like I’d said, I don’t try hard enough and most of the time, that doesn’t really help me much in my life.
I haven’t told anyone about my cancer because I was afraid they were going to judge. I know they wouldn’t judge me negatively, but I just didn’t want to be the fresh, new gossip around them when I’m not around.
Just knowing that there are people talking behind my back hurts me to the extent where sometimes, I just feel like crying for eternity, whether I was still hydrated or not―but if I weren’t hydrated anymore, I’d be dead.
And, by then, I doubt I’d still have worries.
You might be wondering why I take this seriously because in life it’s just a matter of time and at which point where it will come in, but my life has been destined to be shorter than others… and that’s why I didn’t want drama now, or then when I’m gone.
If I didn’t want to take chemotherapy, that meant I was going to pass on earlier and I my cancer wouldn’t be cured, so within this short period of time, why don’t I live a drama-free life?
I mean, it’s not like there’s a point in having a dramatic and chaotic life, right?
Sure, it might be fun and not dull, but it does harm and that’s all everybody needs to know. . . for real.
Sighing, I lay myself down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. What would all of whom I’d spent my day today with, do, when I’m gone? Cry?
I wasn’t even close with them, so they might not. Who would cry over the death of someone who’s practically a stranger? Huh. But, maybe they would because I’m a fan. And, we’d had a fun time together, once, before.
Pray? I think they would. After all, all of them were nice people and they sent their prayers out to everybody, even countries, that deserved them.
I sighed again.
I would never look forward to that day. Ever.
I pulled my phone up and before my face so I could check on whatever notifications I had, and, to my surprise there was a text message from Cody.
I shouldn’t be surprised but I was, and I really don’t know why. Poking on that little message symbol lightly, the text message opened up and it easily said:
Tonight was fun! Hope you had a great night with all’a us. See you tomorrow? (: Goodnight and sweet dreams, Mer ―Cody
And that night, I went to sleep doubtless, and with a small smile on my face.
*
* * *
*
“Hey, nice to meet ya, what’s your name? I saw you walkin’ up my way, gi―” My eyes flew open as I frantically searched for my phone with a single hand, placed right next to my pillow. Where is it, where is it, where is i―oh, there you are!
I grouchily sat up on the bed and turned off the snooze alarm before slapping my covers away, and dropping my leg down the edge of my bed, letting it hang there for a while as I my vision adjusted to the brightness from the sun outside of the window.
Another day; another morning.
I was still alive.
And only God knows how grateful I am for that.
Smiling, I hopped off the bed suddenly feeling refreshing. My mood was actually high―until I realized something. Or, heard splitters and splatters against my windows.
It definitely didn’t really take long for me know that it was raining, and raining meant I couldn’t go out to the front lawn before the porch to water the plants and bushes because I wasn’t needed anymore…
Or at least, not until the sun went back being scorching, which was exactly what I’d wanted to do because I’ve already checked my first bucket list wish.
Well. Thanks, God, for giving us rain, at least, I thought to myself in disappointment.
Walking out of my room in just my grey sweatpants and a boring white tank top, I went to the bathroom and did my usual morning routine. Sometimes I wondered if anyone would get sick of doing the same thing over and over again, every single day, because I do.
Sometimes.
“Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, I was in your sight, you got me alone. You found m―” I must keep my phone in silent mode soon.
I laughed quietly to myself as I pulled my phone out, expecting it to be Mom, calling to tell me how things were going there, and asking how I was doing at home alone so I didn’t bother checking the caller ID when I brought my phone up to my ear.
With a quick sigh, I voiced out, “Hello?”
“Merinda,” that smooth, chocolate-feeling voice rang in my ears and I couldn’t help smiling to myself. It’s always good hearing someone you really like on the phone in the early morning, right? I don’t think there’s anything that could beat that feeling. “Good morning!”
I laughed silently. “Good morning, Cody,” I didn’t even realize how hard I was grinning until my cheeks began to turn numb. Which hurt. A lot. “What’s up?”
“Oh, um, I was just thinking… Uh, it’s raining now. I meant to ask, do you want to hang out somewhere or something? Like going to the mall or some sort.”
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but Cody, you sounded nervous.
My heart started pumping faster and my breathing too, though.
As my fingers tightened themselves around my phone, I chewed on my lower lip, thinking it would be able to help me with containing the excitement that had burst within me, with what he had said.
He shouldn’t have said that, I grinned to myself, yet again.
What that boy does to me…ugh.
It’s just incredible, for real.
“Yes!” I yelled into the phone instantly, then feeling embarrassed because I was being too straightforward. Ah, goodness. I really need to restrain from saying things that sound too…excited.
I decided to rephrase my one word, and very straightforward and extremely embarrassing answer. “Uh…I mean, um, yes. Like, yeah, we’ll go to the mall or something. What time would that be?”
His laugh was heard on the other line and that made my cheeks heat up more.
Ah, great, just what I was looking for. He must be thinking that I’m some weirdo. “Yeah, well, great. I’ll pick you up at twelve, sharp, and then we’ll go for lunch before going shopping. Deal?”
“Done deal. See you soon, then, Cody,” I struggled to hide the smile trying to surface on my face again. I hope he couldn’t hear how quick my heart was speeding! When he answered me with a ‘Cya’, I hung up and fangirled a little (honestly, it’s actually a real lot) to myself.
Yes, I think I’m going on an indirect date with my future husband, the crazy side of me giggled like heck before going back into the cage, me turning normal again.
I still couldn’t stop smiling though; it’s just the kind of effect he had on me.
I probably loved him more than I loved myself, to be quite fricking honest.
The way he make me feel when he just smiles, it’s indescribable; the way he laughs is just like a flow of melodious tune running through my ears, making me laugh as though they were contagious; the way he sings makes me happy.
It’s just the way it goes.
Proof that I'm in love with that kid.
I checked the time. Ten fifty-three? Oh. I’ve still plenty of time to get ready.
I hope nothing goes wrong, and there wouldn’t be too many paparazzi because if Mom sees me on national television, saying I’d die would be an utter understatement because I’d be a thousand times worse than that…
Unless I told Mom beforehand about Cody, would I survive until the time my cancerous cells kill me.
Then again, I still hope our simple trip to the mall would turn out fun with the things we’d be doing. Actually, I think I know it would be.
Or so, I thought.