PTSD was something Taehyung grew up with for as long as he could remember. His parents were always fighting and if they weren't fighting, he was getting beaten by them to the point he wished he would just die. He was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by the people he has to call his parents, and nobody knows about what happens behind closed doors.
His best friends hardly know what goes on when Taehyung goes home after school, but they assume what's happening when the brunette shows up to school with bruises and marks all over his body. He would show up to school with a busted lip and an occasional black eye, sometimes a bruised cheek and jaw, cuts scattered and littering his beautiful porcelain features to the point they've left scars he wished he could cover up.
Home life wasn't the only thing going on in his life that made him suicidal and depressed. School wasn't any different. He was bullied and picked on, and of course, every time his friends would find out, they would scare them off until the next day where the process started all over. His life was a living hell and he's grown so used to it, he was convinced this was how everyones life was.
He never had a happy childhood. Everything consist of bad mouthing, hate speech, violent kicks and blows to his body in all areas, hurtful words that pierced through his heart, lies that he believed were true about him, and so much more. He grew cold to those around him and sometimes he would express it towards his friends as well, when all they do is try and help him.
He doesn't hate his friends, and he grateful for all of their help, but it didn't feel like anything was working. He went to school with so much anxiety, so many nerves dancing within his body because he didn't know what to expect—even though that's mostly a lie. He did know what to expect and he expected the usual daily thing: bullied by the group fo jocks and others that completely despised him, hated him with a burning passion.
And when his day at school was over, he would go home to the abuse his parents would give him, as if the beatings he got from school weren't enough. He swore the world had it out for him, and he was convinced it was trying its absolute hardest to try and get rid of him permanently, to which it almost happened on several occasions—so many he almost bled out because of a vertical line right down his wrist.
So many times because of so many pills he had stuffed in his mouth, swallowing them until he would black out and wake up in a hospital bed. So many times because of the amount of alcohol he would drink in hopes to get alcohol poisoning—drinking himself to death. So many times because he would stand on the ledge of a bridge or something so high up from the ground, just gathering enough courage to make one effortless leap, until someone would stop him by asking what the hell he was doing and if he were okay.
He's tried so many things but none of them were successful. It was like the world wanted him gone, but at the same time, it wanted to watch him slowly suffer and watch him endure all the physical and emotional pain that it threw at him, expecting him to just deal with it and be okay and move on. But he couldn't do that. He wasn't like everyone else.
He actually had a heart and he actually had feelings unlike everyone he's met so far—besides his best friends. He wore his feelings on his sleeves for the longest time until he finally shut down his emotions and became a cruel and heartless prick that everyone came to know. That was the new Kim Taehyung, and that's the man everyone referred him to.
Cold.
Heartless.
Ruthless.
Rude.
Cruel.
Freak.
Weird.
Worthless.
He grew used to the names that were passed around like colds. Everyone referred him to as something, and he always assumed it was him they were talking about. They would write it on his locker, so he would have to see it all day everyday. They never missed a chance, they took every single one, not missing or skipping a beat. They loved terrorizing him, they got a rise out of it and Taehyung knew that.
Anxiety was also something he grew up having for as long as he could remember. His parents gave it to him, and so did his bullies at school. There was never a single day where he felt like it was going to be a good day. His mind was always messing with him, playing tricks on or with him, and he hated it because so many unrealistic scenarios would play out in his head, and his mind was always turned on to survival mode.
It was like there was danger lurking around every single damn corner and he fucking hated it. It was like he was aware of everything around him. The people, the places, the conversations everyone held, the looks, the whispering, the activities happening around him—just everything. He couldn't catch a break and it was all so mentally exhausting to him.
It didn't mater how much sleep he could get, he always woke up drained the next day.
He was convinced danger was everywhere, because if you really think about it, it was everywhere. It was at home, school, in public—anywhere he went there was always something happening to him. And it was never good. He hardly ever had good things happen to him. The only good things that happened were meeting his best friends.
Everyday was the same as the last.
"You gonna pick your books up, freak?" Bogum, Taehyung's biggest bully, asked, snickering wickedly at the fact of the small brunette boy's books scattered all over the floor where Bogum had knocked them out. Taehyung sighed, crouching down to pick up his books from the ground, expression holding zero emotion.
He kept hearing all the whispers going on around him as people watched everything play out and unfold before them. The halls were quiet besides the whispering being tossed around and shared. He could only make out the very few words he heard all the time, and even though he didn't show it, but each word stung and he just wanted to curl up in a ball and die.
He hated all of the attention on them—making him feel exposed and vulnerable. He could feel everyone's burning gaze on him, making him fidget and cause his hands to grow shaky and sweaty. He felt his face and whole body heat up from the intense stares happening around him, the quiet halls and whispering not helping his current situation.
As he was gathering his books and papers that fell out as well, there was a sudden foot on his hands, stopping his movements from continuing on. The small brunette boy looked up and saw three familiar faces, and they didn't seem happy in the slightest. Their eyes were narrowed into thin slits, expressions hard and arms crossed firmly over their chests.
"Actually, I think you should pick up his books for him, Bogum," Jimin growled deeply, his jaw visibly clenching as he kept his boot on his best friend's hands to keep him from continuing with his task. Taehyung watched and felt a little better knowing his friends were there to help him, but he knew a fight would break out because of Yoongi whose known to always engage in a fight if it means for standing up for what's right.
And every fight he's been in, he's won and it was because he was protecting Taehyung.
"J-Jimin, it's fine, r-really," Taehyung tried to reassure and reason with him, but to no avail. Jimin just shook his head, removing his foot that was on the small brunette's hands. Taehyung felt small and vulnerable, but he knew he wouldn't get hurt as long as they were here with him to protect the small teen.
"Pick them up, Bogum. Now." This time, it was Yoongi who barked at the male, causing Taehyung's eyes to snap over at the male, wide in fear as he watched them. He could feel the hostile energy radiating from everyone now, and it scared him shitless. He hated situations like these and he just wished he could come to school for one day without a fight breaking out because his friends were looking out for him.
Bogum scoffed, shaking his head as he took a step backwards, looking at the three standing males that always buck up to hims and never put up with his bullshit he throws. Jimin, Yoongi, and Hoseok take a step forward, and before Taehyung knows it, Yoongi has the male down on the ground, arm twisted behind his back, holding him there and pressing his cheek onto the cold tiled floor.
Taehyung gasped, even though he's watched Yoongi get into hundreds of fights, watching them play out and knowing who the clear winner was. He felt head because all of the fights that the male engaged in were all because he was protecting Taehyung from his bullies—from being hurt. He hated that he was causing so much conflict and drama at school.
"You know, I'm getting real tired of your shit, Park," Yoongi barked, hand on the side of the said male's head, holding him in place and tightening his grip on his wrist, keeping his arm twisted in a painful way that Taehyung could feel it, even though he wasn't the one in that current position on the ground. "Is it really that fucking hard for you to leave people the hell alone for once?"
The said male on the ground was groaning in pain, Yoongi's hand on the side of Bogum's head, pushing his cheek onto the hard ground more. Yoongi had a visible smirk on his lips, satisfied with the whimpering moans escaping the male's lips, wanting to be let go, pleading because he was hurting and uncomfortable.
"I'll let you go if you pick up all this shit and leave Taehyung alone permanently," Yoongi growled lowly as he lowered himself down beside the groaning male, lips beside his ear to make sure he was hear clearly. Bogum didn't say anything besides groan and moan in pain from his arm being twisted and in the same painful position. "Are you going to do as I say?"
"F-fine," Bogum rasped, eyes screwed shut in agony as he waited for the male to release his tight and strong, painful grip on him. Yoongi hesitates for a little bit as Hoseok turned around and gently grabbed Taehyung by his upper arm, tugging him up until the small brunette boy was now on his feet, body practically sinking into Hoseok's due to his anxiety hitting the roof.
Bogum laid on the ground for a little while, breathing out a few times as the pain slowly subsided. He stood up, rolling his shoulders, hissing at the dull pain that shot through him, glaring at all four males as he bent down and picked up the books he had knocked out of Taehyung's hands previously. Everyone watched, the trio having smirks on their lips.
"Be sure to get the papers too." Hoseok pointed to the papers that fell out of the textbooks, earning a glare from Bogum as he did what he was told. Hoseok didn't mind the glares, they actually made him happy because that made him know what they were doing was working by pissing him off and bucking up to him—giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Taehyung then noticed the crowd around them had gone silent, no whispering, no snickering and chuckling, no nothing. He would turn around and see what was going on, but he was terrified to see everyone expressions, and he didn't want to take his eyes off the male gathering his things for him—too afraid he would do something, like hit him when he least expected it.
When Bogum was finished with gathering everything, and when he was sure he was done because of Hoseok pointing to all the scattered papers he had missed, Jimin stood beside Taehyung, while Hoseok stood on the other side of the small teen, and Yoongi taking his place beside his boyfriend, their arms crossed and eyes narrowed.
"Hand them to Taehyung and be on your way," Jimin ordered, to which the male did by handing the said brunette's things. He walked away, shooting the males quick glares after Taehyung had taken the books back with shaky hands, eyes on Bogum the whole time, fear filling them, watching him leave while muttering things under his breath no one could make out.
Jimin and the others turned to Taehyung when Bogum was out of sight and everyone went back to what they were doing, taking quick occasional glances over their shoulders as they walked by the four males. Taehyung looked up at the males, holding his books down, feeling small under their gazes.
"Are you okay?" Hoseok asked, but didn't wait for an answer after seeing the small boy's noticeably shaky hands. He quickly wrapped his arms around Taehyung's small frame, feeling him shake from his terrible anxiety. The small teen tried not to have an episode right then and there, but everything was happening and it was starting to trigger one.
Hoseok soothed him, running his hands up and down the small boy's back and in soothing circles, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, encouraging him that everything was fine. Taehyung never believed anything like that that was said to him, though. He didn't truly believe everything would be okay or was okay. He had lost hope years ago.
Hoseok pulled away, wiping away the small stray tears that trickled down the young male's face. Taehyung tried smiling up at the man before him, but he didn't have the energy at the moment. So he just stood there, looking down, and feeling small and vulnerable, hating that he had to rely on his friends for help and protection.
"I'm sorry..." Taehyung whispered with a quivering lip, and the next thing he knows is another pair of arms wrapping around his shoulders, his face pushed against a broad chest. Just from the smell of his cologne he knew it was Jimin this time giving him a comforting hug, repeating the same actions Hoseok had done earlier.
"There's nothing to be sorry about." Jimin pulled away, looking down at the male and feeling his heart break at the sight. He hated seeing his best friend in so much pain. It physically hurt him and broke his heart into a million pieces, because he wished he could take it all away for good. "How's everything going? I see you have a busted lip again."
Taehyung shrugged, remembering the fight he had gotten into with his parents last night before he went to bed and cried himself to sleep. He chewed on the inside of his bottom pouty lip, refusing to meet anyone's gaze, keeping his on the ground at his feet. He hated the stares he was receiving from his friends, making him feel smaller under them.
"You know you can talk to us, right?" Yoongi asked as a reassurance that they were all there for him when he needed someone to go to. Taehyung just nodded his head slowly, not really believing the words coming out of his mouth, but he didn't say anything. Just nodded and acted as if he believed his word.
The bell rang, signaling everyone to get to their first class. Luckily, Jimin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Taehyung all shared their first class together, which made Taehyung's nerves slightly halt and it made him feel better knowing there was a friendly face or two or three there to comfort and protect him. Hoseok nudged him gently with his elbow, tugging on his hoodie sleeve.
Taehyung looked up and watched the male flick his head in the direction of their first class, a small but bright smile plastering itself on his lips as he wrapped his fingers around Taehyung's wrist. He felt the pain flood his body once Hoseok had a good grip on his small wrist, causing him to suck in a breath through his teeth, his face contorting into slight pain.
Without thinking, he jerked his wrist away, his hand wrapping around it. His eyes grew wide when he realized what he just did. He slowly looked over at the trio, seeing how they watched the whole thing. Jimin sighed deeply, shaking his head as he took Taehyung's wrist in his own hand, to which the small boy refused to do so without a small fight.
When Jimin finally got the male's wrist free from his grip, his eyes locked with Taehyung's as he slowly pushed the sleeve of his dark grey hoodie up, meeting his elbow. They stared at each other for what seemed like eternity before Jimin's and the others eyes trailed down, gasping at the sight before them, causing Taehyung to look down at well, seeing how they were now in full display.
The cuts, fresh and new.