The sound of an engine revving in the distance was audible despite the harsh winter winds. The noise made from the engine just got louder and louder the further I walked, initially telling me that the vehicle was getting closer, obviously going at a faster rate than I was.
The sound of the vehicle roared as it got closer to me, it blew a ghastly cold breeze in my direction as it passed me in a hurry, its speed only excelling as it drove on into the distance, lost under the stars.
The man on the motorbike was crossing the driving limit by a foot and a half, but I doubted he cared much.
That was me, exactly me, nearly three weeks back. I would drive around town on my motorbike, enjoying the wind against me as I drove way too fast. It would give me a sense of inhumanity; I felt as if I was some sort of superior being as I sliced through the wind on my motorbike. As free as a bird, I guess you could say.
Where is my motorbike now, you may ask. Well, it’s locked away in my garage at the moment, collecting dust.
People often said that everything came with a risk, even if it was something small like crossing the road. They also said that riding a motorbike was quite higher up on that risk scale, but I didn’t care, not at the time. I would ignore them, and move on with the rest of my life.
It’s only now I realise how ironic that really is.
I mean, someone like me, going out of my way to risk my life just because I got a kick out of it was healthy and happy, without a care in the world. And then someone like Ally who did everything right, hell, she was even nice to door-to-door salesmen, she had to fight viciously and heroically for her life every day.
The whole ordeal just seemed at least a tad bit unfair, as if the Universe was playing some sort of sick joke on us. Like how Augustus died in The Fault In Our Stars, despite the fact that Hazel was the one diagnosed with a serious case of cancer and he was pretty healthy; even if he did have a prosthetic leg. Despite the fact that Hazel was practically destined a difficult and prolonged death from the very start, she managed to outlive her lover, Augustus. Though some could say Hazel suffered in the long run, seeing as she had to live the rest of her life, however long that may be, without Gus.
The irony of it all, I thought bitterly.
Like I mentioned before, it just seemed unfair, as if the Universe was targeting all the good people in the world in some sort of mad scheme to destroy the world and all of humanity. It was as if the Universe was getting rid of us, one by one.
And unfortunately, the Universe had decided to start off with people like Ally and Augustus. And yes, I know what you’re thinking but I have nothing to hide; I read The Fault In Our Stars.
It may be February, but the weather was still kind of chilly, kind of like how it used to be when I was back in England. It was a few minutes to ten and I was just walking around town, casually taking my time having left from Benjamin’s house well over an hour ago.
I needed the air to clear my head.
All this newfound information was overwhelming, it almost felt like I had a swarm of bees buzzing around my head, following me everywhere I went and constantly reminding me of their presence. Everything which I had learnt or heard two hours ago, give or take a few minutes ago, was a lot to take in.
To hear of this disease of heart failure which ran through the family; the very disease that both Ally’s mother and grandmother had succumbed to, it was now playing its hand at consuming its third victim, Ally. The very fact that neither Ally’s mother or grandmother was able to survive was like a needle poking my heart and creating holes in it; black holes which the blood would escape through and soon, my beating heart would be no more.
To know that Ally’s condition was pretty much incurable was absolute devastation to me. All I could do was watch from the side lines and hope that everything would be okay, that I would soon have Ally back in my arms. But that was wishful thinking, even for me.
It was downright outrageous that some of us were able to grow up, get married, have children and then die old in the presence of family and friends; die happy whereas the rest of us had their life snatched away from them. It was as if the Universe was giving you a taste of what it’s like for you to breathe in the world, to live, to be happy, but then would snatch it away from under you once you got even remotely comfortable.
To me, it was completely unfair. It was unfair that most of us were able to experience life, whereas some of us; a minority of us died young.
No matter how much I complained or how much I hated it, there was nothing that I could do about it. I, just like any other human facing life on this earth, was completely powerless when it came to the Universe.
Releasing a breath of air, I watched it form in a gust of air due to the cold winter night. Wrapping my arms around myself, I walked home, taking my time, savouring it.
That was one thing that I had picked up over the last few weeks; to savour the moment, because you never know if you’ll live to experience the next.
Luckily for me, my parents seemed to have already retreated up the stairs and to their beds. I was thankful that both my parents had to head into work early tomorrow seeing as my dad was an accountant and my mum a nurse.
Hopefully that would just make it easier for me to execute my plan without being detected.
It was almost pitch black in the kitchen when I attempted to sneak into the house at half ten that night. It was a school night and I was supposed to have been home for dinner, but the thought of it escaped my mind as I spent my time at Benjamin’s house.
I could barely see the outline of the objects in the kitchen due to the few rays of light which illuminated them as they managed to squeeze through the spaces between the blinds which were used as a shield against the light. It obviously wasn’t a very effective one.
Inhaling in slowly, I intended to make my body as flat as possible in order to be able to fit through the kitchen window without alerting either one of my parents what I was up to at this hour.
“Damn it!” I cursed as the window slid down once again crushing my fingers as I tried to save the rest of my body from its evils. And there was also the fact that I was 6’3, basically a giant, but I was willing to overlook that fact.
Gritting my teeth, I manoeuvred my body ever so slightly forward so that now my legs were dangling over the edge of the kitchen counter, whereas my head and chest were poking out the window. Sliding my lower body ever so slightly across the worktop, I was able to plant my foot down on the ground before I salvaged the rest of my body from the perils of the narrow window.
Having just saved myself from one dilemma, I walked into another one. Literally. I walked into a bar stool which wasn’t tucked away under the kitchen island like it usually was.
I cursed myself silently as the stool fell over onto my foot, further injuring me after my escape from the window and at the same time causing a high pitched crash sound to erupt from it as it collided with the ground.
After I picked up the stool and very carefully dare I say, placed it back in its rightful place, I silently tip toed out of the kitchen, but not before making sure that I had closed the window behind me.
I didn’t want to leave any evidence of my expedition for my parents to discover tomorrow morning.
After hanging my jacket on the coat rack, I leaped up the steps at an incredibly slow pace in order to eliminate any chance of making some noise.
Sneaking past my parents’ room, I decided to press my ear up towards the door. I grinned triumphantly as I heard silence, well, silence which also included the rather loud sound of my dad snoring.
It wasn’t long before I was showered and clad in my Minion pyjamas. After crawling into bed and under the sheets, it wasn’t long before I had succumbed to the darkness, to sleep.
“Here you go.” I said as I smiled at the kid, handing back his Frisbee when he came to get after having thrown it in our direction.
“Thanks!” The kid beamed before running off to his companion and carrying on with their game.
We were at the park, sitting on the hill with our backs against a tree. From this position, we could see the whole park from a birds-eye view.
She wasn’t looking at me; she was avoiding making eye-contact with me. I could tell straight away from her behaviour. Hell, I could practically smell it in the air.
There was something wrong, and I planned on finding out what it was.
As subtly as I could, I placed my hand over hers. She didn’t move, she didn’t say anything. She simply froze for a moment before attempting to act as if everything was perfectly normal.
I squeezed her hand softly. “What’s wrong?” I asked her, my eyes trained on her every move.
She refused to look at me, pretending that she was busy gazing off into the distance. She remained like for a few moments, unfazed, as if she hadn’t heard me before answering. “What makes you think something’s wrong?” She asked, still not looking at me.
Engulfing her delicate hand between both of mine, I rubbed her hand softly as they seemed quite cold. I blew softly on her hand in order to warm it up a little. “Your hands are freezing.” I commented before grabbing her other hand so that I could do the same to that one too.
She looked at me for a split second before her eyes darted away, a rosy blush soon spreading over her cheeks. “My hands are always cold.” She mumbled, gazing down at her lap.
I smiled against her hands. “I know.” I replied, blowing over them.
It was true, her hands were always cold and she would always claim that she was cold blooded. Which was sparingly true seeing as her body temperature always did seem a tad bit below the norm, though I would normally brush that thought aside, glad that I had a reason to hold her hands.
Placing a soft kiss against the palm of her right hand, I gazed up at her. “What’s wrong?” I repeated my question once again, this time hoping that she would answer me.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” She whispered, so quietly that I nearly missed it.
“Do what?” I asked softly.
“This.” She said, emphasising upon the matter by gesturing with her hands. “I don’t think I can carry on pretending.” She pushed herself away from me, sitting up straight, wringing her fingers together.
“Pretending?” I asked, following suit and sitting up too. I reached a hand up to brush a lock of red hair away from her face, but she flinched at my touch which made me flinch too. “Love, please, just tell me what’s wrong.” I begged wholeheartedly.
She looked straight ahead, at the park and the children playing below, not so far from us. She didn’t look at me, she didn’t say anything nor did she make any move to.
Inching closer to her ever so slightly, I placed a hand on her shoulder. “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” I reassured her, but then pressed on when she didn’t reply.
Placing two fingers under chin, I turned her head so that she was now facing me, looking at me. She had tears streaming down her face, leaving a wet trail behind as they did. “Love?”
Wrapping my arms around her, she sobbed silently into my chest.
It took a few minutes to calm down, for her breathing to return to normal or something close to that before she spoke up. “I really like you, Camden.” She whispered, moving her head so that it was now resting on my shoulder and not against my chest.
I stopped breathing for a moment as her words registered in my mind. Allison looked up at me with her electric blue eyes as I sat there, frozen in time. Well, I was frozen, right up to the point where I ran out of oxygen in my lungs and had to actually inhale it in.
“Really?” I asked, turning my head to the left so that I was looking directly into her eyes. From that position I could notice every little detail on her face. Things like the way her lips were parted slightly as she awaited my answer to the millions of freckles that littered both her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She was absolutely beautiful, more than beautiful. She was magic, unreal.
A shy smile crept onto her face as her eyes darted away from mine, looking past my head and off into the distance as a light blush spread across her cheeks. It soon intensified thanks to my heated gaze. “Stop looking at me like that.” She muttered quietly but loud enough for me to hear as her head was resting on my shoulder as she swatted at my arm.
“Like what?” I questioned, quirking an eyebrow in her direction.
Pursing her lips, she stared into my eyes. “Like that.” She said pointedly, “Like I’m the only girl in the world.”
Cupping the side of her face with my left hand, I lifted her face off my shoulder so that now, her face was much closer to mine, mere inches away. “But you are.” I whispered.
“Stop playing with me, Camden.” She breathed out, her sweet breath fanning over my face. “Stop playing with my emotions. Stop acting like you like me.” She added, looking away from my eyes and down to her hands. She wringed her fingers together, a small frown etched onto her peachy pink lips.
Placing a hand under her chin, I tilted her face up. I then proceeded to position both my hands at the sides of her face, initially locking it in place so that she wouldn’t be able to look anywhere else but at me. I leaned forward slightly so that my forehead was now resting against hers.
I smiled as her eyes fluttered closed. “I’m sorry if it felt like I was playing with you.” I apologised. “But I can’t act like I don’t like you.” A lone tear escaped despite how hard she tried to blink it back. She wasn’t looking at me, she had her eyes closed. “Because I do like you, a lot.” I breathed out, placing my finger under her eyes so that I could rub her tears away.
She opened her eyes, gazing up at me before wrapping her arms around my neck, nuzzling her face into the crook of it. The embrace didn’t last long, for a few minutes to be exact, but I embraced it anyway, I embraced her. With my arms wrapped tightly around her small waist, I breathed in the soft scent of lilies and roses which she always seemed to radiate.
“And just for the record, you are the only girl in the world.” I whispered into her ears before I placed a soft, feather like kiss just under her ear before I pulled away. “To me, anyway.”
We stayed like that for a few hours. Her head on my shoulder, our fingers entwined. Nothing else was said by either of us because nothing else was needed.
That was us, Camden and Allison, Allison and Camden, a love story just like any other.