Chapter 23 - Dreaming Of Adventure
Me: I'm really excited to see you today!
Crazy Beautiful Eyes: Why is that?
Me: I feel like it's 'official' that you're my girlfriend now that we've told other people, even if it is just my family. I can't wait to cheer for my girl at tonight's game!
Crazy Beautiful Eyes: UR so funny! I can't wait to hear MY girl cheering for me! :)
Me: See you at school, Kelly Rose.
Crazy Beautiful Eyes: CU at school Analee!
Lunch time was actually more fun now that Cindy and I weren't talking. Sure, it was awkward coming into the cafeteria and not sitting by her, and I did miss her. However, we were both forced to expand our social circles, and that ended up being a good thing. While she turned to her church friends for companionship, I turned to my old friends, most of whom had gotten over whatever issues had separated us in the first place. Maybe they were less judgy. Maybe I was less sensitive. Maybe both. Whatever the case, it was nice talking to them as friends again instead of just as classmates. I also sat by Timmy and his friends on occasion.
Once in a while I snuck into my sister's group to chat with the girls and covertly eat lunch with Kelly. Today was one of those days. My extremely good mood was shaken when Timmy sat down across from me by wedging himself between Kelly and Rizzy. He plopped a laptop on the table between us. My first thought was that Timmy was there to hit on Kelly, showing me how possessive I had become. I chided myself for it, but I didn't have much time to reflect. Timmy demanded my attention.
"The guys and I were talking. You're going to be the lead singer from now on," he announced, as if I had no say in the matter.
"Um, no, Timmy. Tommy is way better than I am, and most of the songs we play have guy singers." The girls put their conversations on hold to witness me dealing with this new development.
"Well, maybe, but you can work an audience even better than he can, and chick singers are hot!" He opened the laptop, performed a few swipes and pushed a few buttons, then rotated it so that I could see the screen. "I give you...Exhibit A."
Shogun, Mey, and DJ leaned in for a better view. Kelly, Rizzy, and Kristy all came over to my side of the table so they could see whatever he was pulling up.
I was confused at first. It was a youtube video of a party taken from what was apparently a shaky phone. Kala came into view, walking towards the camera with two glasses of scotch in her hands and a big, open mouthed smile on her face. The camera moved to show me in the background, watching Kala's butt as she walked away, then talking to a guy. Walk This Way started playing.
"Oh dear gods of insobriety, no," I gasped. "Tara! Is nothing private anymore?"
Soon, I saw myself pulling a cute little blonde onto the stage and dirty dancing with her, facing her away from me and sticking my hand just slightly in her pocket. At the lyric about a little kiss 'like this' I turned her around and puckered up. The crowd went crazy. I didn't remember that much of a reaction.
Apparently I was totally confident that the blonde would come to me for a kiss, because I waited patiently for her. She did, but before she could make contact, I grabbed her face and pushed her back with a little 'away with thee' gesture. A chorus of disappointed masculine groans drowned out the song for a few seconds.
"Damn, girl!" DJ said appreciatively.
"Okay, I totally don't remember that part," I said quite honestly.
Next, I was pulling the tall brunette on stage and running my finger up her leg to lift her skirt. I lifted it higher than I thought I had, flashing a tiny bit of white lace on her hip.
"Holy crap, Ani." Rizzy said. "Was one of those girls your scotch-eyed kisser?"
Timmy's eyebrows shot up inquisitively.
"No!" I said emphatically. I was dying to see Kelly's reaction, but I didn't dare risk looking at her. "She is much prettier than those two girls."
"Nice," Shogun said. Pixie smiled and looked in Kelly's direction.
"Besides, there was no kissing going on that night," I added.
The video finished, and the title appeared as I shrunk it. "Drunk Lesbian Gropes Chicks Onstage?" I read. "Are you serious?"
"If a guy was doing that, it would read 'Smooth Singer Seduces Chicks Onstage,' or something like that," Shogun ranted.
"True, but sexism aside," I said, looking around the cafeteria, "in the next ten minutes I'm going to go from being one of the local 'good girls' to being 'drunk-gropey-lesbo' girl."
"Yeh-ya," Timmy smiled and nodded. I rolled my eyes, and Kristy reached over to smack him on top of his head. He was undeterred. "Sweet Child O' Mine for Sunday," he said. "You can do it." Timmy closed his laptop and went back to his usual table.
I looked around at the girls. "Seriously, how bad was that?"
"Honestly, you looked really good up there," Kelly said with a little smile.
"Really?"
"Timmy isn't wrong. You had that crowd worked up, Gropey," Kristy said. Kelly gave her a shoulder bump and wrinkled her eyebrows at her.
"That was all for show!" I defended myself.
Some mild teasing ensued, but it didn't bother me. I was just relieved that Kelly didn't react badly to it.
* * *
On nights when the girls had a game, they usually just hung around the school rather than run home just to run back. Parents either brought them dinner or they ran to the local grocery store that also served pre-made sandwiches, chicken poppers, and things like that. Kelly usually went home since she lived so close, but today I caught her before she left.
"Hey, I was going to run to the store to get something for Kristy and me to eat. Want to come?" She hesitated.
"I didn't bring any money. I'll just run home and grab something."
"It'll be my treat. Besides," I made sure nobody was in earshot, "it's not suspicious if it doesn't happen often. I've walked to the store with Kristy's other friends before."
She smiled a little shyly, "Okay."
When we were at a safe distance from the school and prying ears, I brought up the video again.
"Sooo, the video of me..."
To my surprise, she said, "You were so good onstage! You should totally be the lead singer."
"Oh, good. I was afraid you would be weird about seeing me 'groping' other girls."
"Analee, we weren't even going out then. Besides, you know the kinds of things I did before we went out, and you don't judge me."
She reached out to take my hand, then realized what she was doing and quickly took it back, looking around to see if anyone else was walking near us. We were alone on the street.
She smiled at me teasingly, "I think I got to you just in time. Groping random girls, sleeping with naked bombshells...you were on the verge of busting loose and going wild!"
"You saved me from a life of depravity and debauchery," I smiled back. "By the way, my mom adores you."
"Really? Why?"
"When I got home last night, she said if you're the type of girl I'm attracted to, then I have great taste. She thinks you're really strong."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know, everything you're going through. I know we don't talk about it a lot, but it has to be tough, what's going on with your mom."
Kelly was quiet for a minute, then said, "I'm glad your mom likes me."
"I am, too. Oh, and then we talked about how amazingly pretty you are for a while."
"Shut up!" Her smile was huge, but so were her eyes. Her cheeks flushed a deep pink.
"Honest."
"What about your dad?"
"That would be weird if he talked about how pretty you are."
"No!" She slapped my arm playfully. "I mean, did he like me?"
"My dad never says much about people, but he looked happy while my mom and I talked about you. I take that as a good sign."
As we walked and talked, I couldn't help but wish I was holding her hand, or had my arm around her.
It was like having a tiny rock in my shoe.
* * *
The girls were having a little sleepover at Rizzy's that night after their game, so Kala and I were hanging out. I had a feeling she needed some time with a friend. She had been making cryptic comments whenever I talked to her, like during our conversation while I was at the YMCA with Kelly.
Kala's uncle, whose name I now knew was Brian, and his husband, Trevor, were back. Kala wanted me to meet them. We decided to have another quiet night at her place. I was growing to really love our private conversations, and I found myself wishing we could have another night of cuddling. I thought that might be pushing it, though. I was now a taken girl, after all. We found her Uncle and his husband in the kitchen cooking a late night meal.
"Welcome to our house! I'm Brian." He extended his hands, I assumed for a handshake, but when he got closer he pulled me into a hug. When he released me he held my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said, "I'm so glad to finally meet you! How are you?"
"Good," I said reflexively. Upon hearing that he smiled a little bigger.
He was obviously from the same genetic stock as Kala, but where she was tall and lean, he was short and soft. I had a feeling he was one of those people who would always look young for his age. He practically oozed friendship and caring with the way he looked at me. He used the same constant eye contact that Kala did when talking, making me feel like his question hadn't been a social pleasantry, but rather a sincere inquiry as to my well being.
"Wonderful! It's nice to finally get to see the beautiful young lady with the beautiful name that my niece can't stop talking about. "
"Well, I do like my name, but I can't imagine many girls feel beautiful when they're standing next to Kala."
"Analee, you really need to become more self-aware," Kala said.
Brian and Trevor looked at Kala like they had some sort of inside joke or story.
"So, you're the girl who liked my good scotch, right?" Trevor reached up into a cabinet and pulled out a bottle and four glasses. While Brian had a slightly effeminate demeanor, Trevor was almost too masculine. He talked like a businessman, brusque and full of confidence. It was easy to feel like he was always trying to sell you something, and if you didn't say 'no' very clearly, you were going to end up buying it. Where Brian wore athletic shorts and a t-shirt, Trevor was wearing black dress pants and a tucked in polo.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry about drinking your good stuff. I had no idea-"
"Nonsense!" Trevor interrupted. "It's nice to have someone else around here with good taste." He already had an ice cube in each glass and began filling them a little too full.
"Oh, I can't have that much. I have to drive home," I protested.
"So spend the night," Trevor said, as if my problem was solved and the discussion was over. He sat the glass of scotch down in front of me. "Surely spending the night with Kala wouldn't be torture." He gave us a wink.
I started, "Oh, um, I'm afraid you have the wrong idea-"
"No he doesn't," Kala sighed. "Analee has a girlfriend already, Uncle Trevor." She looked at him pointedly.
He shrugged and said, "Well, you're still welcome to stay here. Any friend of Kala's is encouraged to take full advantage of our hospitality." He turned his attention to the stove where Brian was putting the finishing touches on some sort of sauteed chicken and vegetable medley and gave him a kiss on the lips.
Kala tugged my arm and motioned to the door. I picked up my glass and let her pull me out. "Thank you for the scotch," I said on my way through the door.
"You're welcome!" Trevor said, raising his glass in salute to me.
"It was wonderful to meet you," Brian said over his shoulder. "Don't be a stranger!"
As we walked back to Kala's rooms she said, "I'm sorry about Trevor. He comes on a little strong sometimes."
"Don't worry about it. It's flattering that everyone assumes you're into me." I gave her a teasing shoulder bump. "How is the love life, anyway? We only seem to talk about mine. Met any cuties at college lately?"
"Honestly, not really. I guess I kind of lost the urge to bed hop and play the field. I've been thinking that I'm ready to try a relationship again."
"Because you're coaching me through the basics of dating?" I smiled.
"You could say that."
"Well, there must be a lot of smart, good-looking girls at college. Er, guys, too. Sorry. I keep forgetting. Any of them worth giving a chance?"
"Actually, when I picture someone now, it's always a girl."
"Aww, did I cause you to start thinking differently about romance?"
"I guess you could say that, too."
We made it into her apartment and sat down with our glasses of scotch. Kala used her phone to put some soft music on the speakers. She must have been in the mood for conversation, just like I was.
"Speaking about romance, how are you doing with your bright, shiny new relationship?" Kala asked.
"Good! Today at lunch, Kelly saw the video of me on stage at your party. She wasn't jealous or anything. She thought it was amazing, actually."
"I told you it was a great performance. I have to tell Tara to be a little more careful posting stuff, though. The other day the Athletic Director asked me if I was seeing a student. He didn't tell me why he was asking or make a big deal out of it or anything, but I got the feeling I was being told to be more discreet." When she saw the concern on my face Kala waved and shook her head. "Don't worry about it. I'm only a volunteer. If they didn't want me there, it'd be easy enough to tell me not to come around any more. I think he just wanted to make sure."
"Great. Now I have two relationships to keep in the closet." As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized they weren't as funny as I thought they would be.
"Our friendship is not in the closet," Kala stated firmly. "Just the drinking and cuddling whenever Tara is around with her phone. Now, tell me more about you and Kelly. She liked your performance as much as I did?"
"Yeah, she said it was awesome that I'm going to be singing more. Oh, and I actually got to take a walk after school to grab something to eat with my girlfriend!"
Kala smiled, but her forehead creased. "That's a pretty big deal to you, huh? Does it bother you that Kelly's not out?"
"Well, no. I mean, we couldn't hold hands or anything, so that really blows." I kind of left the sentence hanging there between us. Kala waited for me to continue, but I didn't know what else to say about it. I decided I didn't like being the focus of the conversation anymore.
"I told you, we need to talk about you once in a while. Come on, there's gotta be somebody you're interested in."
"Nobody that returns the interest."
"So there is somebody," I raised my eyebrows. "Maybe she's straight?" I conjectured.
"Definitely not," Kala said.
"Taken, then."
"Yep."
"Oh, well, if she wants someone else over you, it must be true love. What could another girl possibly offer that you can't beat?"
Kala leaned back in her chair, making herself comfortable. She smiled and propped her feet up on her coffee table.
"Do you really think I have a lot to offer?"
"By the gods of idealism, yes! You're smart, beyond beautiful, patient, the life of the party but still comfortable to be alone with, an awesome cuddler...look, I could go on all night."
"Nobody's stopping you."
I grinned at her little challenge. If she needed to hear nice things about herself, then I would be happy to oblige. "You're a great dancer, you like good whiskey, you're educated, you smell like a cool summer evening, you have an amazing sense of style, you're forgiving of people like me who don't-"
"You have great style," Kala protested. I barrelled on.
"You have a way of making the person you're talking to feel like the most important thing in the world. You listen to every word they say, and look them right in the eyes. I could get lost in those eyes. They're so dark, yet kind. They can calm and excite me at the same time. They make me feel safe while dreaming of adventure..."
I stopped for some reason. I felt like I was saying something I shouldn't, even though I wasn't lying.
"What's the matter?" Kala asked.
"Nothing, I just..." She waited for me, then raised her eyebrows. I took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and tried to remember where this had started. Oh, right.
"If this girl isn't into you, then something is wrong with her. Find someone who deserves you."
"Thanks, Analee. Who knows, maybe she just doesn't look at me that way yet, and when she does, I'll have a chance with her."
"It's inevitable," I assured her.