The amount of people I hate is a short list, very short, it consists of one. Only one. A single man. From time to time he shows up in my nightmares and taunts me still. He is the devil behind my scars, the ghost that refuses to die, the demon of my past, the reason why for so long I prayed for death.
Though, I have healed for the most part, I am afraid this man turned me into a scary person. One that can barely feel pain, one who's mind goes to dark places. A sadist. A monster. Yes, I am afraid of my own potential.
Sometimes my mind just drifts off, just spaces out, sometimes I imagine what I will do next; sometimes I invision a bright future for myself. Other times, my mind goes to a much... much darker place.
There I am, looking through my own eyes. And there he is, standing, five feet in front of me, more or less. I look into his eyes and am disgusted. They say the eyes are the window to a person's soul, but all I see is darkness behind his hazel green eyes.
For a second I look down at my hands, I am holding a knife. When I look back up, he's watching me like he used to, like a wild animal to fresh meat. He licks his lips, his eyes boring into me, oh his eyes, they are what haunt me the most. He moves closer, trying to manipulate me with his begs for forgiveness like so many times before.
Before I know it, everything turns red. He backs up, drops to his knees, and looks up at me in shock. Knife in his gut, I look down at my hands, in place of the knife there is only blood. Crimson red everywhere, I watch as the life drains out of him, his eyes begin to droop. Sprawled out on the ground, pool of blood around him.
I realize what I have done, I've killed the man. You would think that in this moment I felt some sort of guilt for taking the life of another human being but instead, I love the feeling, I get off on it, the blood lust in my heart is satisfied. I have never felt so much relief.
"Hey!" someone wakes me from my daydream, "what's so funny?" I look at them in confusion, "what do you mean?" I ask. "You're smiling"