The trip back home was spent listening to the Muggle radio instead of talking which for Remus was a great relief as he didn't want to continue spouting lies at the moment. Instead he closed his eyes, letting the music swallow him up. Music soothes the savage beast, he thought with a small smile.
When they approached Dragon's Field, Hope grew more animated. "You're going to be so happy!" she said as they pulled into the garage. "It's wonderful."
Remus got out of the car, wondering what happened. Then when he went into the house he came to a halt, staring at a big banner stretching across the room. Happy Birthday! Magicked confetti drifted down from the ceiling, disappearing as soon as it touched the floor.
Hope came up behind him, bending down to hug him. "You didn't think we wouldn't, did you?" she laughed, kissing his cheek. "My baby boy is twelve!"
"Happy birthday," Lyall said, sounding not quite as excited as his wife. However he pulled out his wand and lit the candles that were stuck in a great big cake, then he and Hope sang 'for he's a jolly good fellow' while Remus thought of a wish.
I wish for me to be able to stay friends with them, he thought, then blew out all the candles. Hope cheered while Lyall began cutting out thick slices of the gooey chocolate-y goodness. Remus got it all over his face while his dad chattered about how the shop had been doing, and Hope talked about some magical plants she wanted for her garden. Then Remus answered their questions about school, mostly just repeating things he had already said in his many letters home. Hope glowed with pride hearing about all his good grades (almost, he barely talked about Defense; he didn't want them knowing Dedenne despised him for being a werewolf).
It felt super cozy, and made Remus happy. He had been worried that things would be weird like they had been during Christmas however already these holidays were shaping up to be a good couple weeks.
*
The first full day of the holidays was spent getting dirty out in the garden, helping his mother prepare for the upcoming planting season. Hope's garden was one of her pride and joys--especially for a Muggle woman who took care of loads of magical plants. This year she really needed some help as some weeds had grown that she was having trouble with.
"Your father's just so busy I hate to ask him," she said when she pointed the creeping ivy out to Remus.
"It's resulto ivy; rebound ivy." Remus crouched down, recognizing it from Herbology class. James and Sirius had had a fun time throwing things at the ivy, watching the items bounce all over the greenhouse until Professor Sprout shouted at them. Near the end of class Sirius had pushed James into the ivy and the entire class laughed as James bounced around until the ivy finally got him off of it. James had lay on the ground shrieking with laughter and wanting to do it again but Sprout took away points from both of them and practically shoved them out of the greenhouse.
"I've tried everything--"
"It's very resilient." He poked at a leaf, feeling its springiness as it forced his finger back. "It repels almost anything."
"I looked in the book your father gave me but couldn't find it."
Remus stood up, wiping his hands off. "You're gonna have to dig it all up."
Hope's face fell. "There are good plants underneath--" Then she just sighed. "Well, I suppose if there's nothing else."
They spent ages hacking at the ground, trying to avoid touching the ivy with the trowels because whenever they did the trowel would just bounce heavily off the plant and go flying. More than once they had to duck down to avoid being hit from a careless smack. One time Remus accidentally whacked the plant so hard the trowel flew clear over the garden wall and he had to climb over to get it while his mother laughed so hard tears came pouring out. He sat on the top of the wall, freezing up as he realized the wall was a bit higher than he thought. He didn't want to climb down, climb back up, climb down again!
He pulled his wand out, pointing at the trowel. "Accio trowel!" The trowel rolled over. Yeah, pretty much how he thought that would go. "Locomotor trowel!" He brought the trowel closer to the wall. "Wingardium leviosa." Now he floated it up, grabbing hold of it triumphantly. He climbed back down into the backyard.
"You're not supposed to use magic out of school," Hope said crossly, all traces of laughter long gone.
Remus frowned as his feet hit the ground. He had learned more about the no-underage-magic thing. Sirius had told them all that technically the Ministry didn't know when an underage person used magic, just if magic was used. If the household had multiple magical folk... "No one will know it was me and not da--"
Hope came closer, snatching the trowel from his hand. "That isn't the point! We can't risk anything! If the Ministry comes..." Then she looked over her shoulder in fear, as if they'd Apparate right there and then. "Remus, you're smarter than this!"
He felt hot at that, and a bit annoyed. "I didn't--" Now Hope grabbed his hand, pulling him inside. "Mum, I wasn't--"
"Lyall!"
Remus had to sit through a twenty minute long lecture about how they needed to follow every law to the letter considering the one they were breaking. Lyall went on about executions, and how he and Hope could go to Azkaban, and did Remus want that?
Lyall paced around, running his fingers through his hair. "You're getting lax. That school is making you lax. I think you should reread the book."
"No! Dad--" But Lyall left the living room then returned with a slim tome which he shoved into Remus's hand. "I've practically got this memorized!" Remus argued, fingers trembling as they curled around the horrible, awful book.
"Obviously not enough. Go on, go and read. I'll help Hope in the garden."
Remus trudged upstairs, throwing himself onto his bed with angry mutters. The Cure For Lycanthropy. Remus ran his finger over the title then flicked open the cover. He read this book so many times... he didn't want to again... It was just lengthy essays about how to deal with werewolves. AKA, killing them. It had bloody tale after bloody tale about werewolves being killed. Executed with an ax, stabbed with a dagger... The stories were full of how wrong werewolves were... and that the only cure was indeed death.
His father made him read it often, whenever he thought his son needed a refresher course on the importance of being hidden which was absolutely ridiculous because Remus knew.
Remus slammed the book shut, getting up to stalk over to his window. It looked out in the garden. Lyall was using spells to dig the ivy up while Hope wrung her hands. Neither were talking. Once all the ivy had been dug up Lyall put it in a pile to burn. Remus began coughing when the smoke wafted up past his window, and both his parents looked up. He gave a small wave then returned to his bed, quickly opening the book up partway to pretend he had been reading in case they came up.
*
Remus had horrible nightmares that night. He always did after reading that book and even though he hadn't reread it, it still plagued him. He woke up screaming several times, each time Hope running to his bed to hold him and rub his back while she sang soothing songs. It felt like forever until morning came and he had to pull himself out of bed, exhausted. The full moon would be starting the next night. He already dreaded going down into that dark cellar...
He spent the day doing all his schoolwork and thinking about James who was celebrating his twelfth birthday. He had sent a letter and a present off with Arthur the night before and just hoped that James got it before he left to return to Hogwarts.
That night he had more nightmares, of that book, of what could happen to him. When dawn came, he was too tired to do much of anything. His parents knew what the four moon nights did to him, and Hope brought him breakfast, lunch, and an early supper before taking him down to the cellar.
Remus trembled a little as he went, flinching when he stepped into the darkness. He took off all his clothes, embarrassed by his body, embarrassed by the bit of hair that had started growing out of no where. At least his mother couldn't see him too well because of the darkness. He just wished she didn't stand there while he got naked. He could hand the clothes out to her...
"I'll see you in the morning," Hope said before closing the door.
Remus sank down onto the ground, hugging his knees, rocking back and forth a bit while he waited for the wolf to take him out of the darkness.
*
It looked like a bloodbath in the morning. Remus was too tired, too broken to move so he lay in the blood until the door opened and Hope inevitably screamed. How many times had she done that? He winced at the sound in his ears. Surely by now she should be used to seeing this...
Lyall wrapped him in towel and carried him to the bathroom. Remus's head lolled a bit and he wondered what was going to happen when he was older. Bigger. Heavier. Probably be drifted along with magic. Lyall set him in the tub and Hope began washing him off while Lyall went to clean out the cellar. Neither of them complained though Hope kept sniffling. Remus closed his eyes, too much in pain to sleep but enjoying the feeling of the warm water against his skin.
"You got an owl last night," she said and Remus's body froze up. "It left a letter addressed to you."
"Who's it from?"
"No name on the envelope except for yours," she said as she rubbed the soft cloth very gently around one of his wounds. "I don't know what kind of owl. I'm not very good at that." She sloshed some water over his leg, trying to be careful not to jostle him too much. "We didn't really talk about that Potter kid, did we?"
"I told you..." Remus closed his eyes again, debating whether or not to pretend to be asleep. "Not friends. I j--just help out with homework. I'm the top in almost every class. Of course my dorm-mates want my help." He tried to inject some of James's bragginess into his voice but it didn't really come out that way, it just sounded rather pathetic and whiny. "I thought if I was just the weird loner that avoids everyone they might take more notice of me so I try to be a little social so they don't think something's wrong."
"I suppose that's true..." She drained the tub and then plugged the drain, letting the water raise again a few inches. "Just be careful."
"I am." Don't you trust me? He watched her profile as she began cleaning off his other leg. There were several grey strands mingled in her hair, and he noticed a few new lines on her face. He knew Muggles didn't have quite as long a life as magical folk did, and suddenly he felt sick knowing just how fragile she was--how mortal. Magical healing was a big part of the long life of wizards so Hope would probably live a lot longer than regular Muggles, however...
He sat up, water sloshing sending the blood swirling, and then hugged her tightly. "I love you, Mum."
Hope gave a startled gasp then wrapped her arms around him, not caring about the blood getting all over her. "I love you too, baby." She kissed the top of his head then eased him back down, smiling now as she did her best with his wounds.
*
The letter was from James, thanking Remus for the present. Remus decided not to write back. He didn't want anymore owls coming in making his parents suspicious. On the third night of the full moon another owl came for him, and his mother questioned him relentlessly about it to the point of him being worried she'd want to read it. As it was from Sirius, he definitely didn't want her seeing the name. She wouldn't recognize the Black name (probably) but if she mentioned it to his dad--if they found out someone from the house of Black wrote to him... he doubted it would end well. Luckily she didn't hover while he read it though she remained in the room, glaring at the letter as if it would burst open with silver shards or something.
"J--just a dorm-mate wanting advice on some homework," Remus lied, folding the paper up. "I won't write back."
"I don't like all of this," his mother said, voice rather clipped. "I know you're not friends. It's just this seems too close for comfort." Then she put her hand out for the letter. "Can I see?"
Remus began ripping the parchment up, letting the ribbons flutter into the small bin by his bed. "It's not close. It's nothing."
Hope approached him closer, giving him a kiss before leaving. Remus waited until he heard her downstairs and he painfully rolled onto his side, reaching down for the torn letter. He hadn't really read it, just pretended like he did. He carefully put the slips together to read the calligraphy writing.
Remus
well Jimmys back at least now so the holidays are already better but it isn't fair I wont see you for another ETERNITY! that SUCKS! I mean I hope your holidays are going well but you should come back now to be with us. now. right now. Mine was so boring at first. Pete just keeps whining about homework & playing pranks wasnt as fun without james so at least were doing that now the night he came back we knocked over an entire pot of soup on the slytherin table it was fun. but its still kinda boring without you & you being all nerdy in the dorm. by the way you better be thinking up a group name YOU PROMISED! since nobody likes my suggestions. whats so wrong with Gryffin-dudes? Its cool! Its snazzy! Yeah? Or the Four Bs, like that would be good too except i called Pete Blyth yesterday and he threw some every flavor beans at me. rude. Oh since it was just us two and Jerk-Face and Struthers in the dorm for a bit Jerk-Face was been acting all big and bad and we might have gotten into a fight the other night oops. I have detention when school starts up again but so does he so its not all bad. Anyway i miss you & hope your holidays i already wrote that though sorry ha ha. But i hope you do have a good holiday and that you and your mother dont get sick at all. see you soon!
Sirius
Remus smiled, rereading the letter a few times. He wanted so bad to write back but he didn't want letters coming in all the time. If he didn't write back they might get worried and send more letters, though. He didn't know what to do... He didn't want to say 'don't write back I'm very sick' because he was going to tell them that he and his mother were completely healthy the entire holiday. He supposed he could say he was sick and had been for a long time, was still sick--long after the full moon. Would that work? Which would be safer? No illness, or long illness?
No illness, he finally decided, carefully tucking the strips of paper in his bag so he could repair it when he got back to the school.
*
The day after the full moon was spent completely in bed--exhausted, miserable, aching. He only left his bed to go to the bathroom and even that took too much out of him. The following day was Easter, and Hope prepared a nice big feast for her husband and son. When he was younger he had hunted eggs in the garden but they stopped when he was eight, and Hope realized the reason he was so good at finding the eggs was because of his wolf abilities. It upset her, so they stopped. Remus kinda missed it. At least he still had an enormous chocolate egg full of candy which had been sitting on the table when he felt strong enough to come down--which hadn't been until afternoon.
He wondered what his friends were having at Hogwarts. He also wondered what Lily was having. He hoped her holidays were going well, that her sister wasn't being awful....
That night he sat down at his desk to write out a list of possible names for him, James, Sirius, and Peter. If he went back without anything he suspected Sirius would have an extra dramatic fit. But nothing he wrote down seemed right. He doubted the others would think it fun to have a pun on the Latin word for joke. Some of them just looked like names Sirius would think up. Soon the names just got convoluted and dumb so he gave up for the day, focusing instead on his many essays he wanted to rewrite.
He had trouble. He'd start a line then scratch it out, try again, scratch it out. The problem, he realized after some time, was that he missed Hogwarts. What am I going to do this summer? He went over to the window, looking out at the dark woods behind their house. That's for even longer. He didn't really like the fact he felt this way. Shouldn't he prefer to be at home? But he missed classes. He missed the library. He missed his friends.
He went to his bed, getting down on hands and knees so he could pull his bag out from underneath where he had put the letters from James and Sirius. He reread them, wondering what his mother would say if he asked to go back to Hogwarts a few days early. Of course, he couldn't. He wasn't like James. He didn't have access to the Floo network or however he got back... No, he'd have to wait till Saturday. Only a few more days, he thought, putting his letters back in the bag so his parents wouldn't find them. Six days, and I'll be going back.
He pushed his bag back under the bed then returned to his essays, spending more time sucking on the end of the quill than he did writing.