𝒾𝓉'𝓈 3:45 𝒶𝓂.
I get up, and go to my closet. I find my winter coat, the big one I used maybe twice in my life. Gloves, jeans, boots. Everything I need for snow.
My heart is fluttering in my chest. It's been so long since I saw snow, I literally can't wait.
I get dressed, then head into the hall quietly.
I inch my way to Mike's room, careful not to make a sound.
I can't alert any of the nurses, or they'd send me back to my room.I knock slightly, again and again. Finally, Mike opens: groggy, hair messy and shirt halfway tucked into his pajama pants.
When he sees me, his eyes open in confusion."Will? what's-"
"Shh. Get dressed," I say quietly, but he's still standing there in confusion.
"Why?" he asks, barely stifling a huge yawn.
"We're going to my woods." I answer. I told him all about my woods, about the snow.
"Are you crazy? it's like 4 am," he says.
"We'll get to see the sunrise! come on, we'll be back before morning checkups!" I beg.
I don't know what's gotten over me. I just know I'm going.
"I really don't think we're allowed, the lungs-" he says, but I cut him off.
"Max didn't get to fulfill her dream. I have to fulfill mine. Please Mike, I have to do this. I want you to come with me, but I'll go even if you don't come. Up to you." I'm not sure if he gets dressed because he finally understands, or because he doesn't want me to go alone.
Either way, 15 minutes later he's all covered up in his snow gear. He stands by me, still yawning widely.We sneak past through the halls, hiding behind a couch or running into an empty room every time we see a nurse. By now Mike is wide awake, and pulling me to good hiding places.
Finally, we reach the front desk. We basically crawl under it to avoid the eyes of Nurse Jim, and in a push of the glass double doors we're outside.
We stop to rest behind the hospital. I'm laughing hysterically, the Adrenalin pulsing in my veins. Mike is smiling with me, but I can see he still doesn't understand why I made him go out. That's fine. He will, the minute he sees my woods.
"Come on," I say, grabbing his hand. He stops dead, the color draining from his face, but I smile.
"Mike, I'm wearing two sets of gloves, and your'e wearing really thick ones. I think we're fine." He's not sure, but I pull him towards the road. We cross it in silence, I'm too busy enjoying the cold breeze on my face to talk.
We get to the edge of the woods. My woods.
I start going in, but Mike stops me. I turn around, and see his face is full of worry, and even a little fright.
"It's late, and the woods are dark. Can't we just go back? talk about it tomorrow?" he asks with a calming tone.
"I'm going." I say decisively, letting go from his hand and starting my way. After a minute, I feel his hand back in mine.
"Like I'd let you do this alone," he murmurs, and I smile slightly.
✏ - - - - - - - - - -- - -
Mike can't stay mad in the woods. They're too beautiful for that. We walk for almost an hour, just silently hand in hand. The snow makes everything seem like something out of a Christmas fairy tale, and the leaves are frozen in bizarre ways all over. The snow is perfect, crunching exactly right under my boots.
Just like my dream.
Except, it's better. Because in my dream, I don't have Mike walking besides me.
Finally, we reach the cliff. My secret cliff.
I start climbing it, Mike behind me. Only, unlike my dream, it's very hard to climb. Very, very, very hard. My lungs are protesting with every step I take, but I proceed. I have to do this.
Finally, we reach the top. I collapse into the snow.
Mike, as if in a trance, continues walking until he's almost on the edge.
"Wow," he breathes. And he's right. I get up to join him, and it's every bit as beautiful as I remembered it. It's breathtaking, and the cold winds are making my face red, and I'm so happy I could cry.
We sit on the edge for a few minutes, until we see the sun rising, lighting the whole town in shades of blue and pink and yellow. I don't think I've ever seen something so beautiful.
I start taking off my breathing tube. Mike turns to me, panicked.
"It's fine." I assure him. I take it out, and just take a deep breath. A deep breath of clear mountain air. This time, when I let it out, nothing bad happens. How can it, when I'm with Mike?
"Mike." I say, and he turns to me. I don't think. I grab his face with both of my hands, and pull him in.
His lips are frozen and soft, and for a moment they stay still. But then he kisses me back with passion, and we stay interlocked in the kiss for minutes. It's the best first kiss I could have asked for- better than anything I could've imagined. I pull him back, but still keep us close, so close I can feel his cold breath on mine.
Finally, we're no more than a breath away. No more six feet. Just one breath.
I pull completely back, breathing heavily and eyes glittering with happiness. He looks at me with shock.
"Did we-" he asks, and I nod.
"Thank you," I breathe to him, " I swear I won't do it again. I just had to, just once."
He smiles.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he says, and I laugh loudly. I hear my laughter echoing through the open air.
He lies back on the snow, yawning again.
I lie closest as I can to him, and when he stiffens I laugh.
"Mike, we just kissed. If I'm going to get B. Cepacia, I think I got it already." He sighs, and I lie my head on his chest. Like I wanted to for ages. Through the cold his body is warm, and I shiver with pleasure. It's the perfect moment.
"I can't believe we did that. It's like you put a spell on me or something," Mike's voice sounds after a few seconds. It's heavy with sleep, and sure enough when I look at him his eyes are fluttering closed and his breathing turns even. I look at him sleep.
My bucket list is complete. I did everything. Everything I wanted to do is done- how many people in the world can say that? I bet not too many. I don't think I've ever been happier in my whole life.
so again, I don't think. I take out this journal, and after I finish writing this whole day down I write just five more words.
𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝑀𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒲𝒽𝑒𝑒𝓁𝑒𝓇.
I do. I do love him, more than anything.
I close the journal and place it deep inside Mike's pocket, nervous and excited and mostly- happy. I can't imagine life getting any better than this.
Then, I close my eyes too and let myself drift off.
- 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁
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[AUTHOR SAYS]
one more chapter!!! ahahah
-𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁