Donghae’s POV
After hours of walking and talking with Jessica in Sinsa-dong, now I have the clearest mind and courage to do what I have to do.
That night, I was walking in Hapjeong, on the way to the YG building, thinking of all the things that I want to tell Dara. It would be our first time to see each other, I must not say anything stupid.
I dialled her phone, trying to call her, but she wasn’t answering even on my text messages.
Upon arriving, there’s only a few cars parked in the parking area and no fans sitting around and waiting across the street. Maybe because they have no practice sched today. But I saw Park Bom in the place, standing at the main door, crying. Not hard but she was sobbing.
“Noona, what’s wrong?” I approached her.
“Donghae” she says, sounding like in a relief to see me.
“Are you alright?”
“Nae…” she says. “But Dara’s not”
“Dara? Why? Where is she?”
Before she can even answer, two guys who came to our side, both tall and looking handsome. One was TOP who came to Bom’s aid right away, while the other one was not a YG artist but still very familiar to me.
“We didn’t catch her”
Bom wailed in worry. “ah ottoeke~~~”
“It’s going to be fine, noona” TOP whispers while hugging her.
I faced my body away to the other side and bowed my head, hiding my face from them.
“Annyeong Donghae” Jaejoong greeted me and pats my shoulder. Ugh he recognizes me… Well as if I really can get away with this. I turned around and greeted them. “Ahh I knew you’d be here”
TOP looks at me in wondering and then glances to Bom. He wasn’t the only one in wondering though, I too. Why is Jaejoong here? I thought he’s in Japan? How is he involved today? Countless of thoughts and questions gathered in my head.
Jaejoong on the other hand was just smiling at me like he knows something intriguing about me. The main door opened widely after TOP places his hand on the scanner.
He suggested that we all come inside first before anyone sees us.
For first time visitors, indeed you’d find the inside very intimidating. Jaejoong and I were in complete awe. Flashy music videos playing on LED strips, marble-ish looking walls…
“Well this is such a welcome” Jaejoong commented to which TOP chuckled to.
“Uhm can you tell me now what’s happening?” I asked,
Bom and I were standing at a distance from the two. “Jiyong and Dara had a huge fight earlier”
“Why? What happened?”
“Apparently, Dara and I were at CJes earlier for Gummy’s party… And we were told Jaejoong won’t be there so we thought it was safe. But then he was there, and they happen to meet and talk… Then suddenly Teddy oppa and GD was also there for a surprise and caught them” she says briefly.
“GD was in rage thinking she was lying to him all along” Jaejoong says. “I did my best to explain but he was really mad”
“Where is Dara now?”
“She ran after the fight, we tried catching her but she disappeared…” TOP says.
And that’s it!? They’re just gonna let her go like that? They can’t find her yet they still came back here and doing nothing?
“Hae, where are you going?”
“I’m going to find her…” I said, I felt really angry that I decided to leave.. She must be hurt, must be crying, must be feeling alone…At this kind of moment I know she needs someone. And I need to be there.
I was almost nearing the door when I saw CL and GD walking down the stairs, they saw me too and their conversation got halted.
GD and I stared at each other for a few seconds before I finally left. Indeed he looks pretty mad alright, his eyes were fierce… but instead of an angry vibe it was more of the eyes of a jealous man.
On my way to where I parked my car, I heard Jaejoong behind me, catching up on my trails. “Hae! Wait! How can you leave me alone there? Did you see how scary GD is?”
“Eh, can’t blame him. It’s your fault” I teased.
“My fault? I was just being friendly with her. I saw how uncomfortable she is with me and the whole situation, it was a pretty awful sight so I acted a bit friendly.”
“A bit friendly? What exactly are you doing when he saw you two?”
“Just talking…….. And me patting her head…”
What!? I glared at him. No wonder why he reacted like that, even I would have other idea about it.
“Are you mad?” He follows. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you’re that kind of jealous person”
“I’m not jealous”
“Oh come on. Your stare was a death ray” he exclaims, leaning on my car door. “You don’t need to worry, Hae. I strongly believe that the one for me is a fan, so Dara is clearly out of my list… Not unless she is a fan of us”
He wsshes. I scoffed and unlocked my car. “I have to go”
“Do you even know where to find her?” He asks before I hopped in.
“It’s Dara… Of course I know”
Over confidence? Not at all. Actually, I wasn't really sure about it but it's the first place that popped inside my mind.
As I arrived in the Han river, she was standing close on the edge of the river, staring at the calm waters. I sighed in such relief.
“You’re not thinking of suicidal, right?” I said casually, walking closer to her.
She looks at me, and man she looks dreadful. “How did you find me?”
“It’s not a hard guess.” I said, lifting my shoulders while my hands in my pocket. Ahhhh Now I understand why she loves to go here when she wants to think over things. To where she is standing, the atmosphere is just perfect. The view, the breeze of air, the sound of water rushing, it was very calming.
“Did they tell you?”
“Mm-hmm”
“So are you going to scold me too?” her voice was shaking, like about to cry again. She then sighs heavily. “Look, I didn’t know he would be there, okay. I thought he’s in Japan like everyone said… If I knew he’s gunna finish his activities there early and fly, I wouldn’t have come… But I didn’t… I really didn’t know…”
"You don’t need to explain”
“No I should… Cause I don’t want you to misunderstand. I don’t want anyone to think I broke their trust, that all their beliefs in me to turn into doubts. Because Jiyong was right, dating or not, I still exposed myself to a risky situation. I still somehow disobeyed them. I still broke my word...”
Dara can’t stop from mumbling words while tears are flowing down endlessly from her eyes. It was such a painful sight for me to see.
“Even CL got upset because I promised to behave until everything dies down but… I disappointed her” she sobs heavily. “They were all protecting me, and all I do was cause them trouble.”
I pulled her close to me and embraced her. “Ya… Stop now. Don’t cry…”
“Hae-ah” She whimpers, burying her face to my chest.
“Shhh… Don't worry everything's going to be fine.”
My heart was crushing hearing her cry, didn’t expect I would see her on this state again. It’s far from what I expected. If only I can rewind time and be there I could have atleast did something, like distract Jaejoong or stop his plane, anything. As long as she doesn’t get hurt.
We stood there for quite a while. All that time, she was just crying.
When she finally calmed down, she lifts her head slightly up and our faces close to each other. Her eyes were puffy, her nose so red, her cheeks shining… I brushed some of her hair away from her face.
“Are you okay now?” I whispered. “Do you wanna sit down?”
She nodded and we released our embraces. I held her hand and took her to the steps, there we can sit and rest. “Wait here. I’ll get you some water”
I shortly ran to the nearest convenient store in the area and bought us drinks and a chocolate bar. “Here” I reached it to her soon as I came back.
“Why’s there a chocolate?”
“They have no ice cream, so I took the next best thing. It can help you feel better”
A slight smile curved on her lips, before she takes a gulp of her water. I took a sit next to her. "Ahhhh~~~~" she exclaims in relief.
"Are you feeling good now?"
She first nodded then say, “I’m really surprised you came… Didn't expect we would meet like this, and me in this state again”
“Yeah. I kinda imagine meeting you all smiling and happy”
“Well, my drama just doesn’t seem to end” she says sighing heavily. "But I’m glad when I saw you, you were happy. Just the picture I want to see you of.”
“Happy? Was I smiling earlier?” I tilted my head in wondering. “I don’t think I am”
“Oh not that. I saw you and Jessica earlier… in Sinsa-dong”'
“You did?”
“Yeah you were holding hands too…”
“Holding hands? Us? That can’t possibly be us…” I can’t recall walking while holding Jessica’s hand earlier, the only time that probably close to that sight was when she was forcing me to get going on the food stalls.
“I’m kidding… ” she blurted out. Even though said those words monotonously, I still started to feel at ease, atleast I know she’s loosing up and has calmed down. “But you were really with her”
“Ah yeah. She was kinda trying to cheer me up. It’s really unnecessary though”
“Unnecessary? Basing on how drunk you were last night, I feel like you had a lot of things kept in your chest and wanted to blurt out”
The drinking incident has finally been brought up, yet so suddenly. I got tight lipped again that I can’t ask her about that saranghae noona matter. Instead I just told her that the reason why I got lost and visited YG today is to ask her about last night.
“Can you please tell me now? It has been haunting me the entire day. What is it that I do or say that surprised you?”
“Doesn’t bam babam bam give you a clue?” she asks. My brows furrowed. “I can’t believe you really don’t remember anything! But fine. I’ll tell you…”
She first takes a deep breath and added more suspense. It’s killing me really. I hope it’s not the saranghae noona matter already. I’m not prepared to deal with that.
But what if it is? What should I say? What is my excuse? Damn, earlier I had it all planned now I’m blank again.
“You sang that last night”
“Huh?” There was a moment of silence in the air. Dot. Dot. Dot. I sang it? “No way”
“I’m not lying… You really did” Dara says, bobbing her head slowly. “..and you were pretty much into it”
From her expression, it really looks like she was telling the truth. I felt my face burn in embarrassment that I have to cover it with one hand and look away. “What the hell!!! That’s so embarrassing!”
“Aniyo!!! It’s actually cute!”
“It’s still embrassing! Waaa… I can’t believe it… Why did i… How can i.. whyyy?!”
She laughs softly.
Despite all my embarrassment and complete shame, I felt relieved. That finally, FINALLy she’s smiling. And that I’ve seen her bright again. “You’re really enjoying me going menboong huh.”
“Hmmm…. Not really… ” she grins. “... slight… k k k ”
“Aish… chincha… If you’re just gunna laugh at me might as well just go back to your crying…”
Sometimes I can be really stupid with my words that I really regret saying them. She frowned, and wore the cutest expression ever.
“Hahaha! I’m just joking! yaaaa Dara… I didn’t mean that I’m sorry… It’s just a joke” I wrapped my arm over her shoulders before she can scoot away from me. “I’m actually glad you’re smiling now.”
“It’s thanks to you.” She says. “You really know how to cheer me up.”
“Of course--- I am your friend after all”
“Ani. You’re like my light”
“Your light? Why?”
“Because you’re always the one to listen to me and make me feel better… And the only one who makes an effort to.”
I brushed my hand over her head and messed up her hair a little. “Ey, you’re way too cheesy”
“Whoa! Look who’s talking! As if you’re not cheesy last night” she pushes my hands away. “You were so cheesy, mushy and ayooo… I can’t even… I didn’t know someone can be that romantic.”
“Mo? What do you mean? What is---“
She quickly stood up, obviously leaving me hanging. “CL’s probably waiting. I have to go. Bye…”
“Wait up! You can’t… Not when you haven’t… aish…” I stood up as well and followed her.
What does she mean by that? So the Superman is not yet the worse part? Did I do more? Is it really the I love you? Seriously I’m having headaches.
For their dorm is just a walking distance from the han river, we went there by foot. And all that while, I keep pestering and asking her what she meant by it. She would only smile or say ‘I don’t know’.
As we arrived, she and I suddenly stopped from walking. CL was standing in their dorm gate, with her arms crossed to her chest.
Uh-oh.
Dara takes a step forward and faces me. “Goodnight” she says with her smile faded.
“No not until you tell me…” I whispered.
Her eyes furrowed with her smiling slightly. “Arasso. I’ll text it to you later”
“You promise? Or else I’ll stay here all night long”
“Do that, Chaerin will kill you”
I happen to glance at CL and indeed she looks really scary at the moment. “Fine…”
“Thank you again” she smiled.
"Anytime" I watched her walk up the stairs and pass by CL awkwardly.
But even with her gone, CL still stayed and stared at me. I’m not surprised if she’s mad, after all it has been a rough night for probably everyone yet she would still find Dara with me. And at this hour.
“I’m sorry for taking her in late, CL ssi. I was just---”
She raises her right hand, a signal for me to stop talking. She went down the stairs and came near me. “Here”
She suddenly brings out an envelope in her hand.
“What is this?”
“Just open it once you get home” CL says softer than her usual tone, making me curious of what’s inside. “Please drive safely. Goodnight”
She went up again and was totally gone. I know she said once I get home but as soon as I got in my car, I could no longer wait and opened the envelope. Inside it there were a few things and a letter.
I opened the letter first and it says...
‘To Donghae oppa… I..."