Erin stared at the blank screen of her cell phone and took a deep breath, fingers hovering over the power button.
"This is ridiculous." she muttered to herself in disgust, grateful that at least Kim was not here to see her acting like a scared fool. She tossed the offending object aside and drew her legs up on the bed, hugging her knees.
A part of her was curious to know what sort of messages Ethan had left on her voicemail, had Nicky told him everything? Was he furious at her for keeping her cousin's infidelity a secret?
So many questions, and if she wanted answers, she would swallow this irrational fear and call Ethan.
She reached for the phone, then stopped and sighed again.
"Stop being foolish," she chided in a voice that wobbled with uncertainty.
Goddammit Erin! You're a grown woman. You're stronger than this.
Determined, she reached for the phone yet again and turned it on, proud when her grip remained steady. Ethan was just one man - okay - the one man who was extremely capable of turning her insides to jelly with just a single look.
But really, she'd handled him before and she could sure as heck handle anything he threw her way.
Kim came back into the room, proudly displaying a huge tub of ice cream.
"I brought some comfort food!" she announced, handing Erin a spoon while she set the bowl between them on the bed.
"Nothing beats love and depression like ice cream, or at least that's what the mags say."
"Thanks."
Grateful for the distraction, Erin set the phone down, and even though she really didn't feel like eating, accepted the spoon and dug in, though her eyes kept straying back against her will.
"Have you called yet?" Kim motioned toward the cell phone. Erin shook her head and licked the cold lump off her spoon.
"I don't think I'm ready for real life just yet." she mumbled, hating herself for sounding so pathetic. "But I'm dying to know what happened with Nicky, and the only way to get those answers."
"Just call the guy already." Kim shot her a stern look. "Look, like I said, avoiding the inevitable is not gonna make it go away. You don't have to see him or tell him where you are, but from the earlier calls, I'd say Ethan wants to talk, and you'd be a fool not to at least hear the guy out."
"It's easy for you to say," Erin grumbled, stabbing at the yoghurt. "You've never had to listen to Ethan when he's furious."
"Girl please! Stop making excuses and just call him." Kim glared at her in exasperation. "It's been two days, and much as I love you being here and all, sooner or later you're going to have to deal with this."
Erin opened her mouth to say something, but Kim soldiered on. "Besides, Heather called, asking if I'd had any contact with you and she sounded so worried. I had to tell her I'd talked to you and that you sounded okay. Don't look at me like that, you know I had to say something. You don't want Ethan calling your parents now, do you?"
"God, no!" Erin's eyes widened in horror at the prospect, the last thing she wanted was for her parents to become involved in this.
Dear God! and they would if Heather or Ethan called saying she was MIA. That would lead to explanations that would spawn even more explanations until the dreaded truth about Nicky came out. Victoria Gosling was as effective as the FBI in rattling out any information she wanted from Erin.
Resolved thickened, she dropped the spoon and reached for the phone and dialled Ethan's number, pushing back the wave of nausea that swam to her throat as it began to ring.
****
Ethan managed a single knock before his sister-in-law pulled the door open. She took in his rumpled appearance and raised an eyebrow at him in surprise.
"You look terrible," Jodie greeted, stepping aside so he could enter.
He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek and she wrinkled her nose.
"Christ! You smell too," she shut the door, then turned and regarded him through narrowed eyes, arms folded across her chest. "Cade said you sounded like hell on the phone, but we didn't think it's this bad."
Ethan waved away her concern and made his way through the foyer into the living room, the aroma of home cooking reminding his stomach that he hadn't eaten in a day.
"Where's Cade?" he asked, flopping onto the couch, legs stretched out. He groaned and placed an arm over his eyes as his brain rattled around his skull in protest at the sudden movement.
Christ! He felt like hell, sick with worry and terror. He hadn't heard a word from Erin yet, and just about exhausted every possible idea of where she could be. He'd called his older brother as a last resort, hoping Cade would use his police contacts to find Erin.
"He had to pick the kids from school. But he'll be back, soon."
He heard her leave the room but didn't bother opening his eyes. An image of Erin swam before the closed lids, and Ethan felt longing spear through him. He'd been haunted by images of her just before he'd kissed her in the hallway, as though his brain had been hot wired to torture him with memories of what he'd thrown away by acting the fool.
Jodie came back into the room and the next thing, Ethan felt a cool, dampness on his forehead. He opened his eyes to see the wet cloth she held against his head.
"For the headache," She explained, her eyes filled with concern. "And I would recommend a shower and something to eat before you expire on my couch. Your brother would kill me if I let you drop dead."
"He'd have to go through my ghost first." Ethan muttered, grateful for the cold compress. He made an effort to sit up and rubbed his chin, grimacing at the roughness of the day old beard. "Thanks, Jodie."
She nodded and sank to the floor beside him. "No problem. Want to talk about it?"
"I'm an ass." He muttered under his breath, and saw her lips quirk in suppressed amusement.
"Okay," Jodie said, humor lacing her voice. "Now that we've established that fact, why do you think so?"
Ethan filled her in on the details of his actions for the past five years. To her credit, she listened in silence, her face devoid of accusation. When he finished, she sighed and reached up to pull him into a hug.
Ethan let himself be pulled into the embrace, blinking in surprise at how much the simple gesture comforted him. He'd never been a fan of physical contact like this, but just this once, he really needed the comfort. Plus, just talking about stuff had eased the ache in his heart somewhat.
"I'm sure Erin is okay," Jodie pulled back to look him in the eye. "The poor girl probably just needed somewhere to hide and come to terms with the fact that her life's been turned upside down. It's what I would do in her position. So, don't get too concerned. Erin will turn up when she's good and ready. And when she does, my advice is to give her some time before you reveal your feelings. Trust me on this, Ethan, if you make a move too soon, she's going to run again, because she'll think your feelings changed only because her cousin - who is a total bitch by the way - told you the truth."
"Yeah, shit!" Ethan passed a hand over his face, tired beyond belief. "Erin may never believe me at all, not after I acted like an asshole for so long."
"There's that possibility," Jodie agreed, and his heart sank. "But if Erin cares about you, she may reconsider and forgive you."
"So, I just have to play the waiting game?" Ethan muttered, not happy about that, but if waiting was what it took to get Erin, hell he would wait.
"Forget games Ethan," Jodie scowled, "No woman wants to hear her affections described as a game or whatever, it's demeaning and she'll never take you seriously." At his contrite expression, her face relaxed into a smile, and then she sniffed. "ET, I love you and all, but you're stinking up my house." She wrinkled her nose at him and he groaned but got to his feet and staggered towards the guest room.
As he stepped out of the shower, his phone rang.
******
Ethan picked up on the second ring.
"Erin?"
His deep voice filled Erin with longing, and instantly tears flooded her eyes. She took deep breaths to calm down, her mind forming a vivid picture of his face, those piercing eyes and strong jaw she had come to love so deeply.
"Jesus, Erin! Are you okay?" he sounded worried, anxious, with no trace of the anger she had been so afraid to hear, "please tell me you're okay, please."
He was worried about her! The knowledge thrilled through her spine like a bolt of happiness.
"Y..yeah." Her voice sounded hoarse and Erin cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm ok."
She heard him sigh in relief and mutter something that sounded suspiciously like a prayer.
"I was worried, you weren't answering your calls," he said. "And no one had seen you. Shit! Erin, don't do that again. You took thirty years off my life in the past two days."
"I'm sorry," she replied, feeling guilty for letting her fears cause him so much worry. "I just...I had to get away for a while and I didn't think you..."
Her voice trailed away and she stared down at her toes, unwilling to meet Kim's eyes.
"You didn't think I'd care." he finished for her in a quiet, hurt voice and sighed again. "Baby, I don't blame you for thinking that way. Look, I messed up Erin, and I'd like a chance for us to talk so I can set things right? Please? Where are you now? I can come over, or we could arrange to meet somewhere."
"I...." She panicked, at the thought of being in the same place with Ethan.
No! The denial rose like a loud chant in her head. Talking to Ethan on phone was one thing, but how could she be in the same room with him without giving away her silly feelings?
He would take one look at her and know she'd fallen for him. And, heaven only knew what he would do, probably laugh in her face then let her down gently.
She looked to Kim for guidance but her friend only shrugged, not understanding.
Erin rubbed at her temples that had begun aching again, suddenly wanting to end this conversation. "Ethan, I....I have to go now. Maybe we'll talk later, okay?"
She ended the call and hugged her knees again, wide eyed at what she'd done.
"What? What did he say?" Kim leaned forward with a puzzled frown, at the sheer panic in Erin's expression. "Did he yell at you?"
Too stunned for words, Erin could only shake her head, eyes fixed on some distant thought.
"Then why do you look like you a frightened deer?"
"It's nothing." She whispered, then jumped as the phone began to ring again. She stared at the object as though it had sprouted fangs until Kim reached for it and turned it off.
"I guess you really weren't ready to talk to him. But I've never seen you act like this." Kim said softly, placing a comforting hand on Erin's knee.
"I don't want to talk about it." she muttered, burying her head between her knees, blocking every other thought from her mind.
******
She'd sounded terrified.
Ethan stared at the phone, brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. Had he said something to scare her off? His mind ran through the short conversation again. Erin had sounded normal until he'd suggested they talk, that's when things had gone wrong.
He sighed in barely contained frustration, raking a hand through his damp hair. he shouldn't have pushed too hard and should have listened to Jodie and just let her come to him on her own terms. The fact that Erin had called him was something to be thankful for, at least she hadn't written him off completely. He still a chance. He didn't have to wait to prove how sorry he was, he was going to start by trying to straighten out the mess he'd made of her life.
Ethan dialled Marcus' number.
"Marc, listen," he began as soon as his friend picked up. He rattled off a dozen instructions, ignoring his friend's protests. He called his assistant next and spent the next few minutes making plans.
Afterwards, he donned the t-shirt and jeans Jodie had left for him, then made his way to the den, following the sound of voices where he found the family gathered around the TV.
Lola spotted him first and with a shriek of delight, flung herself at Ethan, Justin following a split second later.
"Uncle ET!" The chorus of voices filled the air as he picked his nephew up and swung him up eliciting shrieks of delight and cries of "my turn!"
"Hey, Shortstuff!" Ethan ruffled Justin's brown hair, grinning like a loon. "How's it hanging? Have you given your dad a heart attack yet?"
The four year old giggled. "No, but Mummy says I give her nightmares. Lola lost a tooth yesterday Uncle, and daddy says she's all growed up now."
"Really?" Ethan gasped in fake surprise, shooting a grin at Lola who grinned back, displaying teeth with two gummy spaces in between.
"Awesome!" He looked up to meet his brother studying him intently.
Holding onto Justin, Ethan moved close and took the seat opposite. "Hey Bro!"
Cade's face split in a wide, mischievous grin. "You look better than I expected. Jodie told me you looked like shi...ahem...a troll."
He cast an apologetic glance at his wife who frowned at the close profanity.
"What's a troll, Uncle?" Justin asked, giving him a curious look.
"It's an ugly person." Lola cut in, with all the superiority of a seven year old. "But Uncle ET's not ugly. Aunt Claire says he's so handsome, girls die on his legs."
The adults choked back laughter, and Jodie rose. "C'mon kids, you've seen your uncle, now it's time for a nap. Ethan, I warmed up some food, it's in the kitchen."
After assuring the kids that he'd still be here when they woke up, Jodie ushered her progeny out of the room, leaving the brothers to talk in privacy.
"So," Cade leaned forward, grabbing the remote to flip through to a sports channel. He pierced his younger brother with an amused look. "Jodie tells me you've been pussy whipped. Congratulations lil' bro, it's about time. "
****
"Mr. Gosling called a meeting for ten 'o' clock." Heather informed Erin, watching as her boss strode to her desk and sat down. Erin paused, one hand reaching for her laptop and regarded her assistant.
"Ok...did he say what the meeting was for?" Erin asked as she booted her laptop, simultaneously checking the folders Heather had left for her attention. Already congratulating herself for her decision to come in to work, she knew the activity would keep her mind occupied and thus keep those disturbing thoughts at bay. She checked her watch-seven am....that meant she had three hours to catch up on the backlog of emails and things that required her immediate attention.
"Nope, but the memo did say that attendance was absolutely mandatory for all senior executives."
"Thanks." Heather turned to go then stopped. "Ummm...I don't know if you'd want to know...but Ethan came here asking to see you."
Erin froze, and looked up from her laptop, glaring at her assistant. "Heather, do me a favour? If he comes back, please send him away, I don't fucking care if he threatens to kill you, just...keep him away."
The twenty four year old sketched a mock salute and left. Erin rubbed her temples and opened her email. There were a dozen work related emails; mostly memo's reminding her on guest schedules and dietary needs. She dealt with those quickly and moved to her personal mails. Her eyes widened as she saw Ethan's messages and she sat back, staring at the screen, her mind a whirl of conflicting emotions. After a moment of indecision, she clicked on the most recent one from four days ago.
Erin,
I'm worried about you, please call me and let me know you're ok. Left messages on your phone too. Also, please forgive me for acting like a douchebag.
Ethan.
"Oh boy." Erin murmured, unsure of what to make of the whole thing. His apology sounded sincere, but she couldn't seem to get past the nagging feeling he was doing it out of guilt. That would make things even worse...the last thing she needed was Ethan acting romantic out of a twisted sense of guilt. With trembling hands, she hit the reply button and typed out a quick response.
Ethan,
Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. There's nothing to forgive, but I think it's best if we stayed away from each other for a while. Take care.
She hit the send button and closed the page, determined to put it out of her mind as she concentrated on work. A few minutes later, a new message notification popped up and even without checking, Erin knew it would be Ethan's reply.
Ethan: Best for whom exactly? Me, or you?
Her lips thinned. Of course he would be stubborn about it.
Erin: The both of us.
His reply came faster this time.
Ethan: What if I don't want to stay away? What if I want more than we have now?
Heart pounding faster, she took her time replying. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was eager to talk.
Erin: That's not possible. There are a million reasons why it won't work.
Despite earlier hesitation, Erin found herself tapping her fingers on the desk impatiently, waiting for his reply. Her phone rang and she jumped, rummaging in her bag for it. Her breath caught when she saw who it was.
Biting her lips, she hit the call button.
"I can give you just one reason why I can't stay away from you." The intensity in Ethan's voice sent a shiver down her spine.
"Ethan..." Erin licked her lips, his voice like warm caress, sending her pulse faster. "I can't talk right now, not about this....not now."
She heard him sigh, and she expected him to object, but instead he said. "Ok, we won't talk about us if you don't want to. But you have to promise me one thing."
"I'm not making any promises, at least not until I hear what it is."
"I know you don't want to talk about our relationship and I'm cool with that, but maybe we could...talk about other things...get to know each other better...as friends."
Erin paused for long moments, unsure of what to say. Friends with Ethan Lachlan? That was like putting a box of her favourite chocolates in a locked room with her and forbidding her from devouring the whole thing."
"Erin, are you there?" Ethan asked, sounding worried.
"Yes....yes I'm still here. Ethan, I don't think that's a good idea..."
"Just think about it," He urged. "No pressure though, and I'll respect whatever decision you make."
"Ok. I have to go now." She ended the call and swung her chair around to stare out at the view, deep in thought.
The next thing she knew, Heather was shaking her awake, reminding her of the meeting in less than ten minutes. With a quick stop to repair her makeup, Erin hurried to the boardroom.
She entered to find most of her family there with the exception of Nicky, as well as several top executives and major shareholders all seated around the huge conference table. Erin spotted her father at the head, deep in conversation with one of her uncles and a team of the hotel's lawyers. Murmuring greetings as she moved, Erin joined her father. Harold Gosling beamed at his daughter, accepting a hug and a fond kiss on his cheeks.
"What's going on Dad?" Erin asked, nodding as one of the lawyers pulled a chair for her. She set her briefcase on the table and began pulling out papers.
Before he could reply, there was a small disturbance at the entrance.
Erin glanced up and froze as Ethan, immaculate as always in a black tailored three-piece Armani suit that fit him in ways that sent many female hearts in the room pounding, stride into the room.
He had eyes only for her, holding her gaze as he strode up to her father, breaking the eye contact only so he could shake hands with Harold and her uncles. Erin held her breath, keeping her eyes lowered, reluctant to meet that knowing look that seemed to penetrate her skin and reveal the one secret she was determined to keep.
Schooling her features to exude professional competence, she ran a hand down her skirt, thankful she'd chosen the conservative grey business suit, her hair which she'd swept up in a chignon added to her aura of cool detachment, effectively covering up her true inner turmoil.
She felt Ethan's eyes on her as he took a seat directly across from her, and Erin forced herself to return his gaze. His mouth curved in warm smile, and she looked away, pulse racing.
Hold steady Erin... she reminded herself, turning her attention to the papers on her table. Her father stood and cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention.
"Good morning," Harold began, his voice filled with quiet authority. "first of all, let me thank you for making it to this impromptu meeting, I understand a lot of you would rather be doing other things than to sit in a stuffy meeting..."
A murmur of polite laughter rang out.
"Still," he continued, "I believe it is important to make this announcement here, before the media gets a hold of the latest developments."
He paused and glanced around the room, taking all the expectant faces.
"As you are all aware, there was a recent purchase of a majority of our stocks by Holbourn Enterprises...a move that well...none of us were expecting. However, in the past three days, I have been in negotiations with the CEO, Mr Lachlan..." He nodded in Ethan's direction but Erin kept her gaze on her father, too intent on finding out where this speech was leading.
"Mr. Lachlan, would you care to do the honours?"
Ethan declined with a murmur, indicating Harold to carry on. "Go ahead, Mr Gosling."
"Very well, Holbourn Enterprises will be giving us the option to buy back more than half of the acquired shares at less than the current stock price, which will leave us with an impressive profit in the....."
Her father droned on, but Erin barely heard him, all her attention fixed on the man seated across. Ethan didn't meet her gaze, keeping his focus on Harold instead, his expression blank.
He was returning the shares? If The Gosling repurchased those shares at less than the current price...it would mean a huge gain for the hotel and an appalling loss for Ethan...why would he something so stupid? What was he trying to prove to her? That he would willingly lose everything just to satisfy his guilt. She was aware of the applause that accompanied the end of her father's speech, as Ethan stood and excused himself from the meeting, leaving before anyone could corner him with questions.
Erin sat through the rest of the meeting in a daze, her mind unable to process what had just happened. Once she was back in her office, she pulled out her phone and checked for messages, curiosity getting the better of her as she listened to Ethan's voice messages from that day.
Erin, I'm worried about you, I've left a dozen messages already and I'm scared something's happened to you. I'm sorry I let you go and I understand if you don't want to talk to me right now. But at least let me know you're safe? Please? I lo....yeah...so call me."
She frowned and hit replay, paying attention to the last part of the message...the words Ethan had been about to say but had stopped at the last moment.
Could it be? Or was she simply hearing what she wanted...what she longed to hear? She played it over and over again, her heart melting each time she heard the unspoken words.
Her phone beeped, signalling a new message. Nervous, Erin opened the message. It was from Ethan.
Ethan: You look beautiful today.
The words coaxed a smile, which she quickly squashed, and typed a reply.
Erin: Thanks. Why did you sell those shares? That was either a very brave mood or a stupid one.
Ethan: What do you think?
Erin thought for a minute, a small smile playing across her lips.
Erin: I don't think it was a very wise choice.
The phone rang, displaying Ethan's name.
"Hey." Erin said, proud of how cool she sounded. She leaned back in her chair, cradling the phone to her ear, feet up on the desk.
"Hey yourself," Ethan said. "So, Marcus thinks I should see a shrink after this stunt. He's convinced I've finally lost my mind."
"He's not going to be the only one, wait till this hits the news. Seriously Ethan, you shouldn't have done that. I don't think my dad would have minded paying the stock price, as long as he got the shares back into the company." She took a deep breath and continued. "I know you think you have to make amends, but ruining your company isn't the way to do things."
"I made a conscious but stupid choice to destroy something that meant a lot of things to a lot of people...consider it as my restitution. My dad always said if you want something bad enough, you have to be ready of let go of something equally meaningful."
"That's....very insightful." She murmured, chewing her lip as she reached an impromptu decision. "I've given your offer some thought."
"Oh?" She could hear the curiosity behind the single word.
"Yes, I....guess it would be a good idea to get to know you better." She said in a rush, hoping to hell she wasn't going to regret this. "But, just talk...no complications."
"Just talk." Ethan agreed, relief lacing every syllable. "So, is it safe to ask you to dinner tomorrow night?
******
Ethan straightened the cutlery on the table for the thousandth time, and cast one quick glance at his outfit, hoping the black slacks and light blue shirt with rolled up sleeves wasn't too overdressed. He felt as nervous as a school girl on her first date, and he sent up a quick prayer for everything to go smoothly. This was his one chance to win Erin Gosling, and if he screwed it up....shit...he didn't even want to think about that.
He crossed to the kitchen and checked the oven, satisfied at the results at the golden brown colour of his main dish. Dessert looked good too...at least he hoped so.
Promptly at eight, his bell rang, after a quick last minute check, Ethan crossed to open the door with a welcoming smile...He took one look at Erin, that hot body encased in a black sheath that hugged every curve to perfection, hair loose and hanging around her shoulders in soft, silky waves that made him want to bury his hands in its mass....highlighting the healthy glow of her skin. Ethan swallowed, every good intention he'd had fleeing for the hills and he had to drag his gaze up to her face, taking control of his wayward thoughts.
She gave him a shy smile, "Hi, I'm not too early?"
Ethan tried to speak but his tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of his mouth. God! it felt so damn good just to look at her, he never wanted to move from the door. Her smile slipped a little and she cocked her head suddenly nervous. "Is something wrong?"
"No..." Ethan found his voice, and flashed a reassuring smile. "You look amazing Erin. Come in...excuse my poor manners." He stepped aside to let her pass, the scent of her perfume, churning butterflies in his stomach. Christ on a stick! He groaned inwardly as he shut the door and guided her to the living room. Keeping his hands off her was going to take superhuman effort.
Erin took in the carefully set table for two, her gaze lingering on the yellow roses he'd used as a centrepiece and the bottle of wine resting in its ice bucket. "Wow! You did all this? I'm impressed." She listened for a moment, head cocked to one side as she listened to the soft strains of Mark Schultz singing One thousand miles, Oh! I love this song! Nice choice."
He guided her to the table, pulling out a chair for her. "Thanks, hope you don't mind that we're eating here? I just felt it would be easier to have a conversation in private." He picked up the bottle of red wine and opened it, pouring into two glasses, which he offered one to her.
She took a sip, and smiled in appreciation. "Not at all, I like this a lot better. But, what about food? Are we having take out? "
Ethan snorted and drew himself up in mock offence. "I'll have you know Mademoiselle Gosling, that you're looking at one of the best chefs in the state, arguably the best looking one too."
Erin giggled, eyes flashing in mirth at his impersonation of an outraged chef. "My apologies, Monsieur, I had no idea you were so accomplished."
He grinned and slid into his seat. "You can thank my mum for that, she made sure us boys learned the fine art of cooking before we turned eighteen...no exceptions."
"You mum is awesome. My mother can't boil hot water without setting the kitchen on fire, and whatever skills I have in the kitchen, I learned from my Aunt Lorna. The food smells great by the way." Erin paused to inhale appreciatively, "what are you making?"
"I thought we'd start with Caesar salad, with my mother's world famous dressing, then chicken tetrazzini for the main course...dessert is a surprise. " He replied and chuckled when she looked impressed. "You might want to try it first before praising my talents, I just might end up poisoning us both..."
The buzzer sounded, signalling that dinner was ready. "I'll be right back." Ethan said, pushing to his feet and heading for the kitchen.
"Need any help?" Erin asked, already getting to her feet, but he waved her back, assuring her he could manage.
The food turned out even better than he'd hoped considering the fact that he hadn't cooked in years. Ethan thought in satisfaction, watching as Erin took a bite and moaned in appreciation.
"Oh my God!" She exclaimed between forkfuls, "This is amazing Ethan....seriously. You're amazing."
He tried the food, and sighed in relief, making a mental note to get his mother something special for teaching him how to cook, a skill he'd thought useless until now. "It's okay, I guess." He said in false modesty, pumping a victory fist under the table.
Erin studied him underneath her lashes, not fooled for one moment. "I won't mind if you decide to do a jig round the room, you know."
He shot her a scandalized look. "I don't do 'jigs'" Ethan muttered, pointing at her with his fork.
Through the meal, they kept up a steady stream of conversation, Ethan careful to keep the conversation away from 'complications'. He found out Erin had no favourite colors, but detested purple, she was a sucker for romance comedies and historical romance books, adored Ed Sheeran, Sia and Adam Levine, all things chocolate, and had shocked her family at ten years old, when she'd solemnly announced she wanted a career in pole dancing. The last thing had made Ethan double up in laughter until his sides hurt, easily picturing the horrified looks on her parents faces as they listened to their little girl.
In return, he regaled her with tales of his brother's escapades as teenagers, enjoying the sound of her laughter. They argued about politics - he was firmly conservative while she was liberal- and discussed finance.
She was in raptures over his special dessert - melted dark chocolate poured over fresh strawberries with the option of whipped cream, and Ethan nearly killed himself watching as she licked the chocolate off the strawberries first before popping it in her mouth, unaware of how much her actions, affected his resolve to not throw himself at her.
After dinner, he moved them to the living room, again declining her offer to help him tidy up, and refilled her wine glass, sitting next to her on the couch and raised the volume on the song. For the next few minutes, the topic centred around music and he discovered they had similar tastes. Halfway through the conversation, Erin turned slightly, so she could place her head on the arm of the couch, and she stretched her legs, feet resting on his lap - she'd long since taken off her stilettos, and the sight of her bare feet, made him hard as hell.
"I think I've drunk too much wine." Erin murmured, downing her fifth glass. She didn't sound too concerned though, rather the opposite as she shut her eyes and hummed along to the Goo Goo Dolls' song 'Iris'. She wriggled her feet, and Ethan swallowed, punishing himself by massaging her toes earning him a blissful sigh.
"Mmmmm...That feels good." She breathed, as his hands gently kneaded the ball of her left foot. "Don't stop please."
"I won't." He assured her, his voice betraying no sign of the battle that raged inside.
Pushing back his own raging need, Ethan concentrated on his task, the feel of her silky skin beneath his hands and the little moans of delight she uttered, pure heaven to his senses. His gaze slid to her face, eyes closed, lips parted as she revelled in his ministrations, her entire body languid and relaxed and he felt strangely content, knowing Erin was comfortable with him for the first time.
"What did Nicky say to you?" Erin asked, uncertainty mirrored in her gaze as she opened her eyes to look at him.
He stilled at the question, caught off guard for a moment.
"She told me the truth," Ethan murmured, resuming the massage. "Or at least...her version of the truth."
She was silent for a while, though he could see her mind working. "I'm sorry I kept the truth from you Ethan," She said, raising her upper body so she could look at him directly. "I shouldn't have let this drag on for so long...maybe things would have turned out differently if I had just explained..."
"Hey!" Ethan let go of her feet so he could move closer. He caressed her cheeks, and she leaned into his touch. "Don't you dare blame yourself Erin Gosling. You were just trying to protect your cousin, and I understand that....You are...the most amazingly strong and loyal person I have ever met and it is I who should be begging for your forgiveness for all the times I've caused you so much pain."
His smile was bittersweet. "I don't deserve to have you even look at me, but you're here and I promise you this...I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, I give you my word."
A tear slid down her cheek, and he gently brushed it away with his thumb, his heart twisting to see her hurting because of him. "I'm so sorry Baby, please don't cry."
She shook her head and leaned away from him, swinging her legs off the couch. She rose, wrapping her arms around her body as she slowly paced the room. "I listened to your messages." She said, not looking his way. "I...you...wanted to say something, but changed your mind."
Sensing her need to put some distance between them, Ethan stood, but remained near the couch.
"I love you, Erin." He said quietly, hands at his sides as he poured out his heart. "And before you say it's because of the way things turned out with Nicky...let me tell you a story."
Erin turned to him, her face streaked with fresh tears. He motioned for her to take a seat on a single chair, waiting until she had settled, before continuing.
"Five years ago, I thought I'd met the perfect woman. I wasn't in love with her or anything, but then, I'd never been a believer in love. We dated for a while, and I convinced myself that she would make the perfect corporate wife. I took her to meet my family, and they didn't like her...my mother said she was wrong for me, and that when I met the right woman, I would know that marrying for all the wrong reasons is a mistake."
Ethan sighed and began to pace. "I ignored my mum...and began making plans to propose. My girlfriend told me she wanted us to meet her cousin, who was also her best friend and I agreed. My plans were falling into place, and I was confident that I could charm this cousin." He managed a small smile at the memory. "but from the moment she looked at me, I felt like I'd been hit in the head...my good intentions flew out the window and all I could think about was making love to her, hearing her scream my name as I made her come, over and over again."
Erin gasped, a hand flying to her throat, eyes wide in stunned amazement. "What?"
"You got under my skin Erin, made me feel things I'd never felt for another woman...I wanted to kiss you, and kill you at the same time. I wanted you to look at me without contempt and condemnation in your beautiful eyes. From that moment, I would dream of you, and hate myself for lusting after you. I would hate you for making me want you...wanted to torment you as much as you tormented me. When Nicky broke the engagement..I wasn't angry because it put a crick in my plans...I was furious because I thought you felt I wasn't worthy enough for your attention."
"For years, I watched you, had you followed...not Nicky...I was obsessed with you...furious because you were something I wanted and couldn't get. Then I got to know you better, and believe me Erin, it didn't take much for me to completely lose my mind. I lived for our meetings, lived to hear you scream at me...either in anger or in passion...I did everything I could to be close to you and even though I didn't know it...I had fallen in love with you- deeply, irrevocably."
Erin gripped the edge of her seat, tears streaming down her cheeks, mascara running...but to Ethan, she was the most beautiful creature in the world. He crossed to her and knelt at her feet. "I'm not asking that you love me back Erin, God knows I don't deserve your love. All I ask is that you will let me love you the way you deserve to be loved. I may do things you won't like, we will fight, but I'll take anything at this point. I want to go to sleep knowing that I will wake up and have you beside me, I want to spend every waking moment worshipping at your feet. I want to make love to you, make love with you and only you."
"Ethan..." Erin reached for him and without hesitation, Ethan pulled her into his arms, bringing her to kneel beside him while he thanked his stars for giving him another chance.
"I love you Baby." He whispered into her hair, raising her chin so he could kiss her. She opened to him like a wildflower, their tongues mingling in a passionate kiss.
The salty taste of her mouth, her warmth consumed him and Ethan groaned, words inadequate to describe the feeling that coursed through him, searing him to the depths of his soul. The kiss changed, becoming needy, their hands groping each other, wanting more...impatient to have more. He broke the kiss to blaze a trail down her jaw, her neck, tasting the sweet nectar of her skin. She moaned his name, letting him push her onto the soft carpet, as he came over her and continued his exploration of her skin, one hand sliding over her legs and up her thigh till he reached her warmth and she arched her back, offering herself to him, even as her hands went to work unbuttoning his shirt.
"Hurry...Ethan" Her whispered plea, broke his control and with a growl, he reached for the zipper of her gown, divesting her of that garment in sparse movements. He groaned as he took in the sexy red bra and matching scrap of lace panties. "Erin! I'm not sure I'm gonna last long."
She grinned as she freed his shirt then went to work on his pants. "Me neither."
Much later, after two more intensely satisfying orgasms, Ethan carried her gently to his bed, then crawled up and wrapped his arms around her. She gave him a sleepy smile, and kissed his lips.
"I love you too." Erin whispered. Ethan sat up and gazed at her incredulously as she smiled up at him. "I love you Ethan Lachlan."
Incapable of speech, Ethan dipped his head and captured her mouth in a kiss that spoke louder than words while exhilaration flowed through him like a sugar rush.