Recently I've been trying to understand what I want. Do I want to continue living? Realistically I have no point anymore, considering everyone and everything I love and know are gone. My head has a bounty on it, so people want me dead. I don't want to give myself to them, but there's a large chance I've already fallen into their hands. So do I let them kill me? Do I kill myself now, while they can't get to me? But my mother would never want that from me, under any circumstance. She'd never forgive me. Suicide is out of the question. I owe her that. Do I want to run away? If I did, where would I go? I only have my two feet, and I'm still greatly injured. I'm not counting on Prince Teio's plan to come to fruition--but I suppose if it did, and we were able to get away to a place where I could be safe, I would try to build a life outside Valon. I don't really want to. I don't want to live my life as if life is worth it anymore. I don't want to try and rebuild myself.
Do I want revenge?
The thought comes to mind suddenly. Of course I want revenge. Of course I want to rip the throat of every soldier who massacred my town. Of course I want to burn the Blood King's alive. But that desire is beyond impossible. I have no doubt that as long as the Blood King is around, he will torment the lives of everyone he rules. I am not the first or last victim of his reign. But I barely have the energy to be angry anymore. I'm just scared and tired. I want to sleep forever.
I suppose I'm ready to die at their hands. I'll at least try to keep my head tall.
That's when the door swings open. Five different soldiers run in, grabbing me. They don't seem like Teio's men. Not that I was expecting that.
This is it for me, I guess.
Everything feels like it happens very slowly. I don't try to fight back. They pin me to the ground and tie my arms together. Once I'm properly subdued they pick me up and carry me out, running down the hallway.
I think I'm ready to go.