Intro
7 boys, all good students.. mostly all of them anyways. All great friends, very caring and protective of one another. The youngest however ? His mind constantly at war with himself, leaving him feeling very negative. Will his friends notice ? If so, can they protect him from his own mind ?
Trigger warnings: Talk of depressive/self derogatory thoughts, fighting, blood, general angst
teenager/secondary school AU ig, I'm in college but this works better n sorry this isn't part 2 to the last fic, I've not had much time to write since I went back to college ! I've started it, but it's not complete yet. this is sorta a vent fic in some way but not all of it has happened to me ! just the mental issues and friend problems. the fighting was just something that developed as I was writing this :)
————————————————————
Harry's POV
It was 6:45am, I haven't slept yet and I need to get up for school in 15 minutes. Reason for no sleep ? Same as usual. My mind wouldn't shut off, thought after thought rolled in, hour after hour went by without any attempt of sleep. This has been going on for weeks, I'm honestly surprised the guys haven't noticed. Or maybe they have ? They just don't care enough about me to ask, they haven't cared for awhile. Nobody really cares about me all that much. I sighed, turning over in my bed and grabbed my phone to see the time. 6:57am. Alarm goes off in 3 minutes.. may as well get up now. I quickly turned my alarm off, plugged my phone in then forced myself out of my comfy, warm bed and jumped in a quick shower. After my quick 10 minute shower, I threw a maroon hoodie and some skinny jeans on then went back into the bathroom to fix my hair and brush my teeth. As I was doing so, I noticed my reflection. My god I looked awful. Well.. more awful than usual. My face was very pale and the bags under my eyes were getting darker by the day. I looked disgusting. Frowning, I just simply shook my head in disappointment, finished what I was doing and went back in my room.
I grabbed my bag, placed my books for my lessons today inside, zipped it up and slung it over my shoulder. My eyes scanned over my room for my earphones, landing on the white and rose gold pair that were sat on my desk next to my computer. I hastily grabbed them and my phone, quickly (but quietly) walking down stairs. The rest of my family were asleep, not having to get my brother and sister up until about 7:45am. It was now about 7:20am as I was tiptoeing about the kitchen, placing a sandwich into my bag for my lunch later today. I don't eat breakfast and it was now 7:24am, there was no need for me to hover about any longer so slinging my bag over my shoulder, I silently unlocked and walked out the door with my key, locking it again before setting off for school. I have to set off over an hour before school as I walk there and the first bell goes at 8:55am, my Mum says I should get the bus but I'd rather walk instead, gives me time to listen to music and mentally prepare myself for the school day. Placing the earbuds into my ears, I switched on my playlist. Pretty much all my music is sad, so no surprise that the first song is "Idontwannabeyouanymore" by Billie Eilish. I really vibe with that song, like it's not even funny how much I relate to the lyrics. I pull my hood over my head, making my way to the fucking hellhole I call school.
~Time Skip~
It was 8:30am by the time I arrived at the school, I had time to kill so I went and sat in a quiet corridor near my tutor. I didn't wanna see the guys this morning, just seeing them made me feel even more sad that I usually do. That sounds sly and shitty I'm aware, but I have my reasons.
I'm the youngest, sitting at 15 years old. Vik and Ethan were the next youngest as they were 16. The rest of the lads, JJ, Josh, Simon and Tobi were all 17. I was the only one in the year below, they all had classes together whereas I was on my own. I had a few friends though, both Cal's who we've nicknamed Lux and Freezy to tell them apart. But other than that ? I had no other friends, both Cal's weren't in all of my classes either, only 2 or 3 so I mostly sat on my own in my lessons at the back of the class. My grades were average, I wasn't failing but I wasn't top of my classes either, except in science. By god that was my favourite subject, helped that I was pretty good at it too. I'm one of 2 in my class sitting the higher papers. My teacher was fucking amazing too ! He was so nice but knew how to take a joke, that man was basically loved by everyone in the school.
I was disrupted from my thoughts by my phone buzzing.. I had received a text ? Opening it, I could see it was a voice message from JJ. Grand. I clicked on the play button and my earphones were filled with his obnoxious voice. "HARRY LEWIS GET YOUR BITCH ASS DOWN HERE TO THE REST OF USSSSSSS !! We saw you come in and walk straight past us Bog, that's bare rude so come down now you cretin"
It ended with laughter from him and the other guys, being cut off half way through. A long, drawn out sigh escaped my mouth, I cannot be fucked seeing them yet.. hang on what time is it ? I checked my phone clock to see I had only been in school for less 10 minutes, it was 8:39am. Fucksake.. I can't just pie them off, guess I'll have to go see them. Slinging my bag back over my shoulder, I stood up and walked down to where they were hanging about. Before getting there however, I felt myself being pinned against the lockers by something harsh around my neck, opening my eyes I saw who it was. For godsake. It was Logan fucking Paul, with his little twat of a brother Jake, who surprisingly wasn't with his "girlfriend", Tana. Them three were American kids who came over here to the UK, Jake and Logan managed to become the school's biggest bullies in the shortest amount of time. Tana wasn't that bad, she had a few issues here and there but was much better than either of the Paul brothers, hell she actually talked to me and wasn't nasty. She usually apologised about Jake and his brother's behaviour. Logan is in JJ's year, so he's older than me but Jake and Tana are in my year and unfortunately.. most of my classes. JJ absolutely hates Logan, they've fought before but teachers separated them before they could cause any bad damage to each other.
"Hey look, it's one of JJ's little friends" He said, turning to his brother whilst I was still against the locker, "Why does he keep you around ? Younger kids like you really don't have any use to him. You're a scrawny fuck, could barely lift a loaf of bread." Logan's hand forced itself tighter round my neck, making it harder to breathe. Him and Jake both towered over me, I'm only about 5'5 where they're both around 5'10-6'0. "You don't belong with him and his friends, even we can tell they don't like you. You're a worthless piece of trash Harry" he sneered, tightening his hand around my neck even more. I couldn't breathe, fuck. Fuck, fuck ! I could feel myself fading in and out of consciousness when his hand released itself, but my stomach was met with a knee whilst I fell to the floor, causing me to lurch over, coughing and spluttering as him and his brother just laughed, sending his foot harshly into my chest one last time before insulting me as they walked away down the corridor. Tears streaming down my face from the physical pain, but also the pain of the insults he spat at me. Stupid fucking American cunts. After like 3 minutes of trying to compose myself, I stumbled dazed towards where the guys were. I hope they aren't too pissed about this...
As I approached them, I saw Ethan notice me and give me a smile, before it quickly faded. "Harr–! Oh my god– Bog are you alright ?!" The concern in his voice grabbed the others attention, in which they were talking about the latest Fifa before everyone was suddenly crowded around me. I felt Tobi and Ethan wrap their arms underneath me to keep me stood up. JJ was stood in front of me, concern etched into his face "Harry.. what the fuck happened ??" He brought his hand up to my chin, lifting it up and to the side to reveal my neck. It was red raw now, Logan's handprint basically imbedded into my skin. I heard a few of the other guys gasp, before looking away, I tried to speak but all I could cough up was a simple "L-Logan.." and before I even finished his name, JJ face flushed with rage. I panicked, trying to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. "JJ wait–!" Took one step forward sharply. Bad idea. Pain flooded through my stomach and up to my chest, earning a yelp of pain that sent the others into pure big brother mode. They helped me up and sat me against the wall.
"Harry, what did he do to you ?" Simon asked, the others stood listening.
"W-Well... I got your dumbass voicemail and came down to see yous here. I-I was walking along the corridor minding my own business and suddenly I'm pinned by the neck against the lockers by nobody other than L-Logan Paul," I shivered at the name. "Jake just kinda stood there.. watching his brother slowly suffocate me. He... he made me stop breathing..." My breath hitched, my hand shakily touching my neck... where Logan's had been. "But then he dropped me.. whilst kneeing me in the stomach before I could touch the ground.. kicking me and then him and Jake just walked off.. l-laughing..." I choked out those last parts, tears welling up in my eyes. I chose not to tell them about the insults part, not wanting to anger them anymore. I swiftly looked to the ground, hiding my shame from the boys. Fucksake man.. why am I so weak ? Can't even defend myself when being flung into a locker. Logan's insults still buzzed around in my mind, they hurt but are they really wrong ?
Before I could finish my thought I had fingers snapping in my face. "Harry ! You're pretty dazed and injured man, you should go home" Vik's tone was serious but still had care in it. I just frantically shook my head, which was a BAD idea as now I'm seeing fucking stars and my neck pain flared back up but I just tried to focus on the lads. "N-No ! I can't let my parents see me like this- What if they transfer me to another school ??" I panicked, I don't want to transfer schools. I struggled making friends as it was when I first came here from Guernsey. My hands were shaking still, sweat pooling up in my palms. God everything hurt so much and I'm filled with so much fear its hard to breathe. I was suddenly pulled into somebody's chest. It was Tobi's. He hugged me tightly, rubbing circles into my back and saying calming things. As I started to calm down, I could hear the rest of them talking about what they were going to do about me. After a few minutes had passed, I mostly stopped shaking and I was just sat next to Tobi, starting at the floor.
"Harry ? You alright now mate ?" Ethan crouched in front of me, looking me over. I just gave a small nod in response. The guys came back over from where they were speaking and sat down around where me and Tobi were. Josh was the first to speak up "So from now on Bog, you're not walking alone during school times and when you go home, one of us will walk with you." JJ carried on what Josh was saying, "If one of the Paul brothers comes near you or tries to start shit with you, call us immediately. Preferably me, Simon or Josh as they don't dare mess with us." All this seemed a lot in all honesty, it's just me ? There's no need to go out of their ways to help me. "Don't yous think this is a bit.. much ? I don't wanna inconvenience you all or have to call yous whenever I get threatened by someone. I'm not ruining your days by having you deal with the shit that I get myself into." Their expressions saddened, but also became confused. "Harry.. you're not inconveniencing any of us. You're our best friend, our little brother. Why on earth do you think this ??" Simon quizzed me, I thought for a few seconds before I gave the most true and only response I could think of.
"I'm not worth it."
Before any of them could respond, the bell rang loudly through the hallways so I took this chance to grab my bag and run. Pain ripped right through my chest and torso but I just kept running, I ran to the school's field and dipped. After this morning I'm too scared to face the rest of the day, so I slipped through a hole in the school's fence and went into the forest behind the school. This is where the cross country track is, however as it's autum they won't be using it for another few months so I can skyve school here or at least until lunch time so I can just go home. My throat, torso, chest and legs were burning with pain, my heart was in my throat and I could hear it beating in my ears. I climbed a tree, slung my bag over a branch and just sat there out of sight, hidden away from the school's view. I decided to listen to music to pass the time, scrolling through my sad playlist and throwing a song on whilst using my earphones to block out the sounds of the world. The boys wouldn't find me here, if they did know where I am I'd be surprised but they're in lesson so they can't come find me if they even wanted.
—Time Skip—
It's now around 11:55am, it's been like 3hrs since he dipped from school and sat in this tree. Lunch is in 5 minutes and everyone will be flooding out onto the yard, no doubt I'll be getting texts and calls from the boys to see where I went. I might go see them, or I might just go hang about in the hallways somewhere. I can hear the bell go off from where I'm sat. Sighing, I unhooked my bag from its branch and climb down from the tree. My body was still sore, but it was really just a dull ache now that I've gotten used to it. Oh shit, I never checked for bruising. I pulled my hoodie over my head and inspected my torso and I unsurprisingly have a few bruises on my stomach but one prominent large one to my left side, they were still a bit red but purple blotches had already started to form. My chest had some red marks too, they're probably gonna turn into bruises as well. Hope they don't get any worse. I slipped my hoodie back on and headed towards the school, I decided to try my best to avoid the boys or anyone for that matter, so I was just gonna go sit in the bathrooms or an empty classroom. Trying my best to slip through people unnoticed was going to plan, until I ran into fucking Jake Paul.
"Look what the rat dragged in ! Some waste from the trash. Not had enough after this morning ?" His accent was still thick, even after being in the UK for about a year. Suddenly I was harshly being pulled into the nearest bathroom by him. Oh god. Oh god oh fuck oh no– it's just me and him in the bathroom. Which also happens to be the least used bathroom in the school. Me. And Jake. Alone. This will not end well for me.
He shoved me into the room, causing me to fall backwards. Jake loomed over me, my small, thin frame nothing compared to his. The sick smile on his face pierced into my brain, his hand found itself round my throat much like his brothers was this morning except this felt different. I'm getting the feeling he doesn't care if I suffocate. This fills me with absolute fear, my body began to shake, I can feel my vision fading again and his nails digging into my skin, that's going to draw blood.
Jake abruptly let go, dropping me to the floor with a thud. I gasped for air, coughing my guts up trying to breathe freely again. I heard him laughing, I felt myself being hoisted up by the collar to meet his face. "You're heavy for someone your height, you hiding some severe chub under that hoodie ?? Fat waste of space." Now that.. that fucking hurt. As I was inches away from this cunts face, I made the stupid decision to spit in it. He dropped me again but then my face was met with his fist. "You fucking disgusting prick ! You dare to spit in my face and think there won't be a consequence ??" He growled, pure anger flushed over his face. "Low lifes like you have no place near me and my brother, I'd even go as far to say as you don't deserve to be friends with JJ. I will never understand why he hangs around with scrawny pieces of shit like you." Rage was burning in his eyes, I could just see his expression in the dim light of this bathroom. It was one of a bulldog that had just chewed a wasp, he was fuming. I could feel my nose begining to bleed from where he punched me but before I had time to react my chest and stomach were met with furious kicks, sending searing pain flying throughout my already injured body. He grabbed me by the neck once more and flung me against the wall, I felt the back of my head collide with the tiles, this sent the room around me spinning and my consciousness faded in and out once more, only lasting long enough to see Jake grin nastily down at me. "You're an absolute waste of space, I'm doing you a favour." He sneered, walking out from the bathroom, leaving me to somehow survive in this cold, unwanted room. My body flopped to the floor, I couldn't sit up so I just layed there. I could see my blood pooling up next to my face from my nose and probably some other part of me too.
Is this what I am ? Just Jake and Logan's punching bag ? Also am I really that heavy ?? "M-Maybe.. he's right... I'm- I'm just a fucking waste of o-oxygen..." I hiccuped, tears beginning to fall freely from my eyes. My thoughts were loud, I hated it. My body burned, pain rippling through every inch of me. It was nauseating. The room was still spinning. Should I call any of the boys ..? I know they said I wouldn't bother them doing this.. but I'm still scared. I grabbed my phone from my pocket, checking the time before I did anything or made a decision. It was 12:37pm, Lunch finishes at 1:15pm as we're a relatively large school. Fuck it.. I hate doing this but I'm gonna call JJ, I really need help... I clicked on his contact and pressed audio call. Please JJ, please pick up. After a few rings he answered.
"Harry ?? Mate you alright ?" He asked, god he was so unaware right now. "J-Jide.. h-help please.. come t-to the bathroom n-near the sports hall... th-the unused o-one.." My voice was so quiet and hoarse, but the fear was very evident in my tone. "Harry -! Oh my fucking god, I'm bringing the boys, we'll be there in 5 minutes. Hold on lil bro" JJ quickly ended the call, seconds later my fight for consciousness gave up and I blacked out.
JJ's POV
I know somethings wrong or he's being serious when he calls me Jide and something is definitely wrong. As soon as I ended the call, I sharply turned to the rest of the lads which grabbed their attention. "Oi Sidemen, we've got a fucking situation. We're going to the unused bathroom near the sports hall right now !" My tone clearly alerted the others and we quickly ran to where Harry was. As we were booking it down the hallways, we passed the Paul brothers. I noticed Jake had blood on his fists and splashes on his shirt. I felt my blood boil, if I find out that ANY of that is Harry's blood theres going to be serious fucking issues between me and that american twat, both of them.
We're just reaching the bathroom so we slow down to a fast walk, Josh asks why we're going to the bathroom all the way over here. "Harry." Is the only answer I gave and I could tell they understood from my tone. We reached the bathroom and I just listened, incase someone was still in there with Harry. I flung the door open and my breath stopped instantly at the sight in front of me. The poor boy was sprawled out over the floor, his blood coating the tiles with a mixture of tears. In the dimly lit room, we could all see his small body had beaten badly. Tobi and Simon quickly rushed past the rest of us towards Harry and sat him up, he had fainted from being attacked. By the sight in front of me I think it's safe to say that the blood on Jake is Harry's. Pure rage filled my body and I just swiftly kicked a stall door, startling the other lads and it even warranted a sound from Harry, which was good as we needed to wake him up somehow. Tobi shot me a glare then tried to get the slightly unconscious boy's attention, "Harry.. Boggo man what happened to you ?" He spoke softly not to irritate or hurt his head. It took Harry a few seconds to register what Tobi said before responding. "Was.. w-walking to.. go see yous.. but then.. J-Jake.. found me.." He struggled saying that so much, his voice was weak and barely audible but we could understand him, he sounded constantly out of breath.
"I'm going to absolutely batter Jake for this. He's not walking again when I'm done with him." The voice that came from me.. didn't even sound like me. It was harsh and cold, I saw Vik and Ethan shiver in response. "JJ calm yourself down, we need to help Harry first. We'll talk about Jake later but our first priority is Harold." Josh turned to me, his response stern. I sighed, my tone returning to its normal one, "Yeah alright sorry," I crouched down in front of Harry, he flinched slightly but then just blinked. "Can you stand ? Or does it hurt too much ?" He just shook his head, even that made his face twist up slightly in pain. To help, both Simon and Tobi stood him up and sat him on the sink area to clean him up. Tobi grabbed some wet paper towels to clean up his body, wiping away the blood on his face and neck gently.
Tobi's POV
I tried my best not to hurt Harry, using warm water and wiping around his wounds and bruises gently. Every so often he would make a small whine or groan but I don't blame him, these look so painful. I was done quite quickly, Harry seemed to come round by the time I was finished so now we could go take him somehwere. "H-Hey.. guys ..?" All of our heads turned to look at him, which slightly startled him but he carried on. "I wanna.. th-thank you for today... I've been such a bother by b-beaing beaten up by the Paul brothers an' having to ask you guys for h-help constantly.. you're the best friends some outcast kid l-like me could ask for.." his eyes teared up, but for a good reason this time. Harry actually smiled, this is the first time we've seen him give a genuine smile in.... months.
"Oh Harry, you're not a bother nor an outcast kid. You're our little brother and we love you so much. We're here to help whenever you need it, you're the youngest out of all of us so it's our job to protect you. Cunts like Jake and Logan don't know who they're messing with." I have him a small, warm smile to show that I meant what I said. "C'mon guys, I think this calls for a group hug ?" Motioning to the other boys, we all cuddled around Harry to show our support for him. He doesn't deserve to be treated the way he does, the Paul brothers fucked with the wrong kid and now they're going to experience JJ at his worst. "Hey lads, I've got an idea," Vik suddenly spoke up "why don't we skip the rest of the day ? We can go hang out somewhere and just chill with Harry to help calm him down, then we can also get him bandaged up properly." Vik... suggesting to skip school ?? Is he alright ??
"Yo Vik lad, you feelin' alright ?? You never willingly skip school, the fuck ?" Ethan was just as puzzled as me and the rest of the guys, heck I could even tell Harry was confused ! "This is different, schools sort of.. unsafe for him right now and we don't need more of what happened today so we should go somewhere other than here. We can sneak out that hole in the fence at the back of the school." Vik was actually confident in this and it was a better idea than staying in here to be fair, lunch finishes in 20 minutes so this will give us time to sneak out. "Alright, that's a sound plan and I agree to it, Simon can carry Haz on his back as walking isn't really gonna be a good option for him." Josh looked over to Simon, he just nodded and complied. Simon crouched down in front of Harry, who slowly slid onto his back and snaked his arms round Simon's neck. The small boy just cuddled into him, he was tired and practically falling asleep during our walk to the back of the school. Today was eventful for him so I don't blame his tiredness, but I've got a strong feeling he hasn't slept much lately either. I'll ask him about it later. We all managed to get through the hole without being noticed by anyone and made our way to JJ and Simon's flat, they both lived together as their parents allowed them to. It wasn't that far of a walk, only about 15 minutes or so. By the time we got just outside the school, Harry had fallen asleep on Si's back so we took this time to discuss more on what we should do about the situation at hand and how we're going to help Harry overcome these obstacles and maybe he could let us into his mind and thought process, what he thinks about during the day. I've got another feeling that they aren't relatively positive thoughts either, but he needs to talk somehow, I've noticed we've kinda.. ignored him for a few months and when I realised that I felt awful and like such a terrible person so I can't imagine that the guys would feel the same, we all need to make it right and today is the day we are going to finally help him out.
To be continued ;)
——————————
over 4800 words... fuckin' damn that's a lot ahh I'm sorry for making you all wait this long and read this long fic, I hope it was worth it in the end :,) also another 2 parter ffs well done me looolll it wasn't supposed to be this long but here we are🥴
I'm hoping the next part won't be too long or at least nowhere near as long as this one ! n again, I'm sorry about not posting part 2 to the first fic as it's not ready yet cause I've had college to catch up on and deal with, plus life also got in the way n I've just been kinda sad again tbf hah
n e ways ! thank you for reading and hope you enjoy the next part, whenever it comes out <3 -Alex