HALEY
I don't have my stuff with me, but I've been taking notes on my phone during my classes today, and I thankfully had some money in the pockets of my jeans, so I could buy some lunch.
I think I'm still glowing from that great treatment Max gave me before I left his room. Josie has already commented on it, and she and Ives has barely been sitting with me for five minutes.
They're both gushing about how good Max and I look together, and Josie is being really curious as to how it works to how two boyfriends, but I don't really feel like sharing. Not since Aiden and I had this huge fight last night.
I just walked out in the end, not even bringing anything other than my phone and the clothes I was wearing. No jacket, and no school supplies. I did send him a text when Max agreed to let me stay over, to let him know where I was, and he sent a heart in return.
He does that when we fight. He sends a heart, and I don't think he knows why he does it, but I think it's because he wants to say he loves me, but he's afraid to admit defeat. We usually work it out after some distance anyway, so I'm not worried.
I just wish he saw where I was coming from.
Max has something to say too, and he said no. Yet Aiden invited Alex into our home and let her stay there.
I get that he wants to help his sister, I really do, but I don't want Max to think he isn't worth as much in our relationship. We're all equals.
At least that's what I want us to be.
I sigh a little and push the remainder of my salad around with my fork, and grimace a little, until I notice both girls' eyes on me, and I look up at them, confused.
"What?" I ask, and they look at each other, as if they're debating who should talk.
Josie eventually clears her throat, and looks at me again.
"Are you okay? You've been quiet today. You're never this quiet," she says.
I fake a small laugh, and roll my eyes at them playfully.
"You don't know me that well," I say.
"We do," Ives says, and raises her eyebrows at me.
"Ugh, fine," I huff, and sit up straighter in my seat.
I look at the both of them, and bite my lip for a second. It can't hurt to share some of my problems with them, right? I consider them friends now, and they're girls, who doesn't have a foot on the inside regarding my boyfriend issues.
So I tell them what happened between Aiden and I, and that I spent the night at Max's dorm room. They both listen intently as I complain about one boyfriend, and gush about the skillful mouth of the other. I can see Ives cringe a little as I talk about Max's ability to make me orgasm, but she doesn't back away from the subject. She looks interested, she's just too shy to admit it or butt in with some comments. Josie, on the other hand, is prying me for more details.
Ives' cheeks are red, and Josie is smiling from ear to ear as I finally reach the end of my story. I left out a lot of details, like the reason why Alex was kicked out from her parents' house. I just said they had an argument. I don't know if Ives would want to know that I know what really happened, so I'm keeping it to myself. At least for now.
It feels really good to confide in someone who genuinely seems to want to help me through it. I kind of considered Alex my best friend before, since I never really clicked with any girls before, and boys seemed to just want to get into my pants, so I steered clear of most people.. These two are different. They're just... Genuine.
They really make me feel safe in their company, and I don't feel afraid to share what's been going on with my love life.
"It sounds like you have two very loving boyfriends, to me, and they care about the people around them," Ives says, smiling softly at me. "Aiden seems like a good guy, and he wants to help his sister, while Max is worried about you when Alex is in your home. For some reason."
She adds the last three words hurriedly, brushing it off with one of her hands waving in the air. I fight the urge to roll my eyes at her. I know the reason, there's no need to brush it off..
"I guess you're right," I say, and smile back at her.
"I just can't believe it.. Two boyfriends, and one of them is Maxwell Fucking Johnson?" Josie says, both questioningly and surprised.
I laugh at her, and nod.
"Yup," I say, smiling widely.
No matter what's going on, I'm really happy with my choice of boyfriends.
"How does it work, exactly?" Josie asks, prying for further details. "Have you had a threesome with them?"
I laugh at her again, and shrug a little.
"I haven't, but I think they both want to. They keep teasing me about it," I say, biting my lip as I think back to the two of them hinting not-so-subtly about fucking me together. "But it works just fine. It's normal, I guess."
I don't really know how to explain it. It hasn't been going on for too long either way, so I don't know if how it is right now is the way it will be forever, anyway. I just know that I really enjoy it, and I can't wait for Aiden and I to kiss and make up. Or out, preferably.
"Really?" Ives whisper-asks me, with both curiosity and disbelief shining in her eyes.
She's so pure. Sometimes I even ask myself whether that boyfriend of hers does anything else than missionary by the way her cheeks flush when we talk about sex, and how curious she is about so many things.
"Really," I confirm, and I smile widely at them both.
I lean back in my seat, and put my hands inside the pockets of Max's warm leather jacket. It smells just like him, and it's so comforting. I smile to myself as I feel inside his pockets. I expected them to be filled with old receipts and maybe some change or something, but they're completely empty, except for this one thing in the right pocket. A small plastic bag, I think.
"You need to give us details when that happens," Josie says, smiling widely as she looks at me.
I grin at her, and nod.
"Sure," I say, and look at the both of them. "I'll tell you with as much detail as I can."
I wink at them, before I pull my hands out of the pockets to fidget with the plastic I found.
"I can't wait," Josie says, and leans back in her seat, smiling widely.
Ives is leaning against the table, with her chin resting in her hands, and her cheeks are wonderfully red.
If I'm allowed to say it, I think Ives is a really cute girl. I understand why Alex wanted to get her attention. Josie is really pretty too, and I'm usually very confident, but with them as my company, I can definitely feel my own confidence decrease a lot when I'm with them. It's not that that is a bad thing, quite the opposite, actually. I need to be knocked down a few feet sometimes.
I really can't get over how much fun it is to have friends again, like this. I smile to myself as I suddenly feel so lucky and loved.
"What's that?"
Ives' gentle voice brings me out of my thoughts, and I look up to see her blue-gray eyes staring at my hands.
I look down and shrug.
"I don't know, I found it in Max's..."
I stop short as I look down at it. It is indeed a plastic bag. It's basically empty, but there is something inside it. I bring it up closer to my face, and I stare at it. Whatever was in here was white, powdered and... I grimace.
"Pocket," I sigh, finishing my sentence.
I think I know what this is, and I can't believe how hurt I feel from the realization. It makes so much sense if this is the remainder of what I think it is. He barely eats and he looks like he's barely sleeping too. I sleep a lot, and I don't have any trouble falling asleep at all, so I don't know if he does sleep or not..
I bite my lip, and put my head down onto the table. How could I have been so stupid? How the fuck did I not notice this?
Someone snatches the plastic bag from my hand, and I'm pretty sure it's Josie from the soft gasp I hear beside me.
"Is he doing drugs?" Josie asks.
I don't know. Yes? Maybe? I don't know how to confront him about this at all.
A part of me isn't even surprised. A part of me knows he's struggling, and I think my subconsciousness wanted to warn me about this the first time I saw him again after that whole thing with Hannah.
Maybe that's when he started doing it. When he found out he was gonna be sick. I don't think I've seen him part with his jacket since then.
Oh my God... Every time he scratched his nose... He snorted cocaine in front of everyone, and no one knew?!
I put my head in my hands, and I don't know what the fuck to do.
"What am I gonna do now?" I ask my new friends rhetorically.
"You need to talk to him. Ask him about it! It might just be something different!" Josie says, and hands me the plastic bag back.
I look at the bag and furrow my brows at it.
"I should, shouldn't I? Before I jump to any conclusions?" I ask, looking at both of them.
They both nod when I meet their gazes.
"I think he deserves a chance to explain before you blow up on him at least," Ives says, sending me a soft, teasing smile.
"I wasn't gonna blow up on him!" I exclaim at her, before meeting the eyes of both Ives and Josie, looking at me like they're doubting me.
"Okay, fine," I admit with a huff. "I don't get how you guys can know that already. We've only hung out a handful of times so far."
I cross my arms and look at them disapprovingly, even though I'm very much approving of their balls to call me out on my non-audible bullshit.
"We're just attentive," Josie says with a sweet smile, and throws her hair over her shoulder, winking at me.
"Or," Ives butts in, "you just have that type of personality. You're really sweet, but you don't let anyone walk over you at all. It's a good thing."
I sigh heavily, and bite my lip a little, as I look down at the plastic between my fingers once again. I need to get some answers from Max. No bullshit this time.
"I guess," I say, and smile at them. "Thanks, anyway."
I get up from my seat and gather my stuff, before sending them another smile.
"Good luck," Josie says to me, and she smiles.
Ives motions with her hands, telling me to text her later, and I nod, before walking off.
I don't know where he is right now, so I decide to go over to his dorm first, just in case he's there. On my way over I pull my phone out of my pants pocket, and text Aiden to tell him I might have a problem to deal with. I just wish he could have been here with me right now. He knows how to talk to people when they get worked up. At least, he knows how to talk to me when I get worked up, but I can't imagine Max and I being too different in that department.
I literally blow up in someone's face when I get angry, and then I walk away. Just like last night with Aiden. He didn't get a chance to talk to me then, since I was mad at him for a change, but he generally gets me to calm down in a matter of minutes.
I walk into the boys' dorm and make my way to his and Harry's room, and knock on the door, carefully. I hear shuffling inside, and then the door opens.
My eyes goes directly to Max's. They're bloodshot and glassy, and my suspicions are only growing. The bags under his eyes are somehow more visible to me now, and he looks so tired. So, so tired.. I just want to hug him.
So I do.
I put my arms around him and press myself close to him.
"Is something wrong, baby?" he asks, and shuts the door behind me.
"I don't know," I answer him honestly, and pull back to look at him.
Then I lower one of my hands to pull out the small plastic bag in the pocket of his jacket again, and I hold it up in front of him.
"Will you tell me what this is?" I ask him, biting my lip as I watch his eyes widens and turns darker, while his jaw visibly clenches.
I guess my suspicions were right, then...