Roman
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I've always known that fate had been kind to me. It bestowed upon me the looks and charm. When those attributes were combined with my family background and fortune, there was little I ever desired that was denied to me. I was accustomed to getting my way and expecting events to unfold exactly as I desired.
Lately, that wasn't the case.
The awareness of the lack in my life wasn't something anyone would understand. I was conscious of a strange restlessness within myself; a growing dissatisfaction with my existence. Isaac described it as dramatic. My mother tried to drag me into her hobbies in the hopes of sparking something in me. My father believed that all I needed to do was get laid. It wasn't something any son would want to hear, and my brother thought I needed a change of scenery. I liked to pretend the idea came to me first because I didn't want to give my brother the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten me to listen. But I knew he could be right about the change of scenery. Being at home made me feel as if I was walking on eggshells. My life had no direction. I was uninterested until I gave myself a goal. I set a goal and tried to achieve it despite knowing nothing about being a matchmaker.
Millie was the goal. Millie was that unwrapped present I never wanted to wrap because I was afraid of giving it away for another reason. I wasn't about to admit that my desire to see her again was intense, so intense that I cancelled a meeting with my legal team just to sit in my office and think about her. It got to the point where I imagined her mouth wrapped around my dick. I'd never admit that when she left me in the bar, I felt strangely robbed.
So, naturally, I did what no one in my position would do. I tried to keep my distance, but didn't that work out so well? The woman piqued my interest. She set fire to something inside me that was brimming with heat. Isaac was right about one thing. I was a dumbass. I wanted Millie — in my bed, under me, on top of me, and everywhere else she would have me. But I wasn't an asshole who goes back on his word. What would she think of me if she knew the thoughts that run through my mind about her? But what man would let a woman like her slip through their fingers? She appeared to be strong, intelligent, and beautiful. My thoughts returned to her in a dress, to her body, her curves, and her long, shapely legs. Our knees had accidentally brushed against the table in the bar, which she hadn't noticed, but it sent electricity and warmth through me.
The hint of creamy cleavage peeking from her blouse right now was fucking with my mind.
But I was a gentleman. Sometimes. I tried to be. On most days. Like right now. I was trying to be a good host, a good friend, and possibly a good matchmaker. As long as there was no tent on my crotch, I was good. I was in the clear. I could pretend to be a man with good intentions. A man with clear thoughts. A good man. Good enough to find Millie the perfect man to settle down with.
How hard could it be? It would be as easy as pretending I knew what the fuck I was doing, as if I knew anything about relationships or finding the right man. The time, dedication, and effort needed to be put into all of that was something I struggled with. Time wastes away in my life. Dedication never made root as everything else was uninteresting.
"Are you hungry?" I didn't know if my voice sounded husky when I said that, but how fucked up was it to say something and be thinking about another thing?
Millie smiled at me, just as she had done at the bar, and just as I had imagined she would when we met again. I wanted to kiss those lips again, the way I fantasized each night. Fuck. The blood rushed straight down to my dick.
"I already ate before coming here."
She appeared to be at ease, but I couldn't say the same for myself. All I had to do was remember how much I needed her. This was exactly what I needed, and my dick needed her as well. Maybe when the right time comes. Or never. I had to keep reminding myself that I was a good man with clear thoughts. I was a man who was good with his words, and that being finding this gorgeous woman a man to settle with, not finding her a way to settle on my bed.
I crossed my arms. "Just admit that you don't want to eat my food. It's not poison, you know. Plus, I'm known to be a decent cook." Which was nothing but a stupid lie. I had takeout in the fridge and I wouldn't hesitate to bring it out and paste my trademark on it.
Her eyes widened. She looked cute doing that— all sexy and cute wrapped up in one dangerous bundle. "I don't think that!"
"Millie, I'm joking." My lips twitched in an attempt to hide my own chuckle. Leaning back on the sofa, legs stretched in front, I locked eyes with her. "Cooking or takeout?"
"Huh?"
"What do you prefer? Cooking or takeout?" It was terrifying to find myself in a situation where I had to ask such questions to a woman. Usually, there was little talking and a lot more action. Millie was forcing me to bend my rules and do things I'd never done before, but this brown-eyed woman sucked the air out of the room without even trying.
She was picture-perfect. And fucking hell, I had to sit here and ask her personal questions to set her up with a lucky bastard. I'd like to say over my dead body, but I dug that grave by myself. I had no choice but to lie in it and suffocate.
"It depends." Her eyes sparkled. "I love cooking, but sometimes when I don't feel like doing anything, I order takeout."
"Let me guess, you have the Mexican restaurant on speed dial?"
This time, it was her turn to laugh. "I can't believe you guessed it correctly. I would have accused you of stalking if I wasn't sure no one knew what I liked." Her cheeks turned a nice shade of pink.
It was a wild guess, but damn if it wasn't a good guess.
"I can read people."
Her brows rose. "Oh, really? Like how you read that I was in desperate need of help?"
My eyes dancing with laughter, I replied, "I didn't have to read anything. You were so loud."
A shadow of embarrassment crossed Millie's face. Giving me a considering glance, she stated, "You said you wanted to know more about me. Aren't you supposed to be showing me pictures of different men and their personalities, and then we pick out which one is suitable for me?"
"How about a runaway instead?" I said sarcastically, a glint of humour in my eyes.
"Now I know you're joking."
"You had to be joking too."
"I wasn't," she returned with a maddening mixture of amusement and earnestness in her voice. "I thought that's what's going to happen."
I chuckled, crossing my leg over the other as I picked at the invisible thread on the chair. "You want to treat this like it's an interview?"
"How are you going to get me the perfect man you claim to exist without a background check first?" Her cool brown eyes were full of doubt, teeth taking a bit out of her lower lip.
I don't tell her fuck if I knew how. Unless you count my father's friends, most of the men I knew were tools, but I'd rather have my dick fall off than set her up with an old man. I don't tell her I have no plans, that I'll be grabbing at strings until I figure out what I'm doing. I couldn't be completely honest with her about it. I'd be irredeemable in her eyes, and I truly believed I could change this woman's love life for the better. She deserved an honest man, and I couldn't be the jerk who confirmed her true feelings about men. We may be assholes, but some of us were decent people.
"You know what your problem is, Millie?" I mused wryly. "You are in a rush to date, and you know what they say about rushing? It's a death wish."
"I'm not rushing."
I chuckled. "You know how I said I can read people? I wasn't kidding." My gaze stayed locked on her face as I shifted a bit closer. "You're scared. Maybe when you blew out your thirty-second birthday candle, you realized your life wasn't leading anywhere. You needed to change, so you started dating like crazy. In your rush, you only met assholes."
"Is it crazy? To be scared? I'm not getting any younger, Roman. I've lived through my life by sticking to a plan. My emotional survival doesn't depend on falling in love. Do you know what my mama told me weeks ago? That I should consider going to a sperm bank," she admitted a little shamefacedly. "So, yes, I'm scared."
"Rushing into a decision over fear is not the right way, Millie."
"Then tell life to take a pause or I'm going to that sperm bank," she joked.
I laughed. "I can't make life pause, but I can control how I live it," I said, leaping to my feet. "Get up."
"What?"
"Get up and pick up your bag."
"Are you kicking me out?" she inquired with a touch of shock in her voice.
"I'm not that rude, Millie. If I'm kicking you out, I'd tell you exactly that and would offer to pay for your next meal."
She snorted, but stood on her feet, facing me. "You're not popular with women, are you?"
With a slightly superior smile on my face, I stared at her. "That's a funny question." Oh, if only she knew.
She looked unimpressed. "Where are we going? It's late."
I groaned, scrubbing my face with my hand. "That's exactly why I'm taking you out. You're trying to make yourself feel old. It's ten for fuck's sake. Ten is not late." There was an imp of mischief in my eyes.
I hadn't told her where I was taking her, and she appeared nervous as she sat in my car. Isaac and I used to go to an old track up north whenever we needed a good charge. Normally, sex worked, but there was always that one time when we just wanted to try something new. Something illegal.
I drove down the dirt road that led to private property. The property's owner granted us access in exchange for us sending him money whenever we use it. I hadn't been here in over a year, and walking up this dirt brought back pleasant memories. The unpaved road was littered with small stones and dips and puddles. I punched in the gate code. When it opened, I drove in.
I gave Millie the side-eye as I watched her in awe as her eyes took in the scene in front of her: a road lined with lights, like a street the day before Christmas. The property was empty land. I considered buying it, but I couldn't think of a single use for it, and managing the place while living in another country added to the stress.
I stopped the car on the tracks, and her head swivelled to look at me. "What are we doing here?"
I grinned and gave the engine a couple of quick revs, feeling the vibration of the engine under my feet. She leaned her head on her hand, her elbow propped against the window, and looked at me, puzzled and concerned.
"Buckle up," I told her, pulse hammering through my fingertips. I had forgotten how much this got me high.
"What are y—"
As I peeled over the dirt road and took off, I slammed my right foot on the gas, the acceleration sinking me into the seat. I shifted into second gear in seconds and reached speed.
"OH MY GOD!"
I chuckled as I accelerated into the third gear, slammed on the brakes, and turned my wheel to the right to make a turn. My pulse pumped rapidly from the adrenaline and speed of the gear shift, tyres squealing, and smoke billowing. I felt invincible.
"ROMAN! Stop the car! Oh my god, you're going to kill us!"
She screamed. It didn't matter that I had imagined her yelling at something else; the satisfaction was still there.
"Isn't this fun?" I yelled, stepping off the gas and swerving sharply to the left once more. Until I straightened out, I skidded to the right, pushing the wheel once again to the left. I instantly slammed on the gas once again as dust swirled around us.
"This isn't fun, stop the car! We are going to die!"
"You're being dramatic." As I slammed on the brakes, I hastily extended my arm to shield her head from the dashboard. Millie breathed heavily, shooting me a glare. I drew my hand away and steadied it on the wheels.
I didn't know what she saw on my face, but her eyes widened and she was shaking her head.
"No, Roma—"
I shifted into reverse and began to move backward while keeping a close eye on my mirrors. When I took a screeching turn and increased my speed while pressing harder on the gas pedal to change again, Mille yelled and cursed at me.
"Roll down the window!"
"What?" she shouted but did as I said.
Good. She listens.
"Now, push your head out—" I made another sharp turn. "and scream!"
She looked hesitant and frightened before unbuckling her belt. As soon as she poked her head out the window, I glanced in her direction. I heard a loud gasp from her before it softened into a giggle.
"Oh my god," she exclaimed with a laugh. The wind blew her hair. I was eager to see her face and the glow that covered them. She was chuckling and laughing, and the joyous sound reached me right in the dick, especially when she turned to face me again and her brown eyes lit up.
She looked happy.
She appeared to be having the time of her life, which was exactly what I wanted. There was more to life than sticking to one routine. I wanted her to start living again, not tie herself down with some guy first. She believed that falling in love would bring her happiness, but I believed she would find happiness within herself. She'd come to regret not being able to enjoy life right now.
Millie was laughing so hard when I pulled over. Her shoulders shook as she fought off a new wave of giggles. My lips curled into a grin, which I was powerless to suppress. She stopped laughing when she realized I was watching her, biting her lower lip to keep from giggling again. My gaze shifted to her lips, and heat rose in my eyes.
I don't think I'd ever desired anything more than to bloody kiss the shit out of that mouth.
But I don't.
"That was awesome!"
My eyes stayed glued on her, my gut roiling with a hunger that was never going to be satiated without a little help from her.
I chuckled. "You were screaming bloody murder."
She flushed. It was cute. I had seen women flushed numerous times, but neither looked as adorable as Mille did.
"Hey, the least you could have done was give a girl a heads up first."
I raised a brow. "So you can say no and deny yourself this feeling?"
She laughed again, swallowing before she could speak. "I definitely would have said no." When she beamed at me, I had to grip the wheel tightly because no one had ever looked at me like I just gifted them the universe. "Thank you, Roman. This is honestly the best night ever."
"Should I have charged?"
Millie snorted, trying not to smile. "I'm sure you're the kind of man who would be content with accepting a thank you and a pat on the cheek."
"You're cruel." I laughed. But yeah, I definitely would let her. If she couldn't pat the little guy, I would let her let pat my cheek.
"Is this one of your hobbies? Illegal racing?"
A slow, but dazzling grin spread over my face. "Fun, isn't it? There are times in your life where you gotta do what you gotta do."
"So you live your life to the fullest? I'm jealous."
I leaned back in my seat. "Why? No one is stopping you."
She snorted. "My kind of fun is curling on my couch in front of the tv or reading a book."
"Reading, huh? What is your favourite book?"
"Please, what would you know about books?"
My eyebrow quirked. "Because I don't look like I can read?" Funny thing was, there was a book that immediately came to mind. A book Isaac and I swore we'd never discuss. We pretended we hadn't been curious and sat in our rooms reading it. When we came out of our rooms later, we looked at each other and said 'That didn't happen.'
"You look like reading a book is the last thing you would be found doing," she ended with a grin as if she didn't mean harm by her words.
"Millie!" I widened my eyes, pretending to be scandalized. "How can you say such things to me? I'm deeply hurt."
"Okay, okay. What is your fave genre? Mine is romance and crime if you're interested in knowing."
I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about her. What she liked and what she didn't like. What ticked her off and what made her laugh.
"Of course, it is." I shook my head in amusement. "What else? Talk nerdy to me. I think this is the first time I might consider it over a dirty talk."
Her face flamed bright red again.
"You know what? We should head back."
"Because I said dirty talk?" I mused, staring at her with a gleam in my eyes. "What else can I say to make you red like that?" How about I go down on you? I can make your entire body flush with red.
"No, because I really have to wake up early to go to work."
"And you assume I don't have work either, huh?" I started the engine, pressing on the gas. "Your bullets keep hitting the right places tonight, Millie."
She gave me a sugary-sweet smile. "Oh, you poor, baby."
I snickered.