Side note so there's no confusion..the following chapter is the start of Summer's "fantasy" I guess you can say. It will display what would have happened if August never died and they continued their life. This is not something Summer just made up! These are true events that would've occurred..The writing of the story will NOT change like italitcs or bold letters to differentiate so I'm letting you guys know this way. If there's ever any confusion just message me and I'll explain what's needed. For now enjoy the rest of the ride.
—-
Summer laid curled up in her bed in complete darkness staring at nothing in particular. She was numb, her body felt cold and her mind wasn't at the best state they had just buried August a few hours ago. Everytime she closed her eyes should would see August's amazing smile or hear his obnoxious laughter, she would also hear his voice in small phrases but she liked that part.
His accent was so unique and although everyone around him talked the same way he still sounded different. For example, she loved when he called her Summa leaving of the ER. She also loved how he would pull her closer to him in the middle of the night, how he would wake up earlier than her just to admire her, how he would kiss her cheeks at the most random times for no reason at all.
She already missed there goofy times together—debating over the stupidest things..making fun of each other..laughing at nothing in particular. She felt as if she took him for granted because now she wouldn't experience any of those things ever again. If it was one thing she could wish for besides him being alive it would be the opportunity to hear him say "I luh you" one more time.
Getting more and more consumed by her thoughts she closed her eyes and thought of what could've been.
••
"Summer good afternoon! I've been trying to contact you since yesterday we've seen improvements regarding Mr.Alsina a few hours after you left"
"Seriously?" She smiled adjusting her purse on her shoulder.
"Yes. He's been moving around a little and making facial expressions. We don't know when he'll wake up but it should be very soon his vitals are back to normal and he's off the breathing tubes so life support has been removed as well"
"Can I go in and see him?"
"Yes of course!"
Making her way inside the room she set her bag down and walked over to the bed grabbing his hand "Hey baby" She then grinned when she felt his hand gripping hers tightly.
"I need you to wake up okay?" She pecked his lips "I know you've been taking your time but I need you now"
Laying in the bed she occupied herself with her phone for the rest of the day before nightfall came and she drifted off to sleep. It was about three or four in the morning when August started to blink his eyes slowly opening them. He looked around the room and noticed he was in a hospital and that's when the events of the evening at the park flooded his memory.
Feeling a weight on him he looked down and saw that Summer was peacefully sleeping. He smiled and used his hand to touch her back. She frowned at the feeling and quickly woke up "The fuc—-Aug! You're awake!" She cheered sitting up on her knees and smothering his face with kisses.
He wanted to respond but his throat was extremely dry, he looked at Summers half empty water bottle before pointing at it. She quickly got up and twisted the cap off and helped him drink the rest of it.
"Everything hurt mama" He groaned "How many times they got me?"
"Six in the chest and one in your leg" She said "But you're okay now and that's all that matters"
"How long I been out?"
"Tomorrow would've made two weeks and a half"
"Damn" He mumbled
Summer sighed "But your family has been here everyday including my Dad..I'm gonna ring for the nurse so they can check you out"
"Wait not yet.." He grabbed her wrist.
"Why?"
"I wanna just be witchu right nah, das all I want— can we do that?"
Meeting his lips for a kiss she nodded "Yeah baby we can"
••
"Watch your step babe we're almost there" Summer said with a tight grip on his waist while his arm hung around her shoulder. On the other side Mr.Banks was helping with most of the weight making sure they got up safely.
With every step August grunted and grimaced because since he was shot in his right thigh as well he could barely put any weight on it and when he did unexplainable pain would shoot throughout his entire body. When they finally got to his door Mr.Banks held onto August while Summer unlocked the door. They walked him into the apartment and sat him comfortably on his living room couch.
"Thank you Daddy" Summer said "I don't know how I would've got him up here alone"
"Yeah thank you Sir..I know you'a busy man and I feel bad fa' you havin ta' come out hea again"
"Oh please it was my choice" He said quickly "I wanted to be sure the two of you got settled in."
Because of August intense injuries he needed someone to be with him 24-7 to help him with his daily tasks like showering, moving around, and other things of that sort. Of course Summer wanted to do that for him so her Dad drove back down to make sure everything was in place and to also teach Summer how to properly care for him since he was an experienced doctor himself.
It took little to no time for Mr.Banks to show Summer how to properly remove and replace his bandages with new ones so he didn't have to stick around for long. "I'm going to start driving back now before it gets to dark are you sure you guys will be alright"
"We'll be fine I promise" Summer assured him "I'll see you soon hopefully"
"You will princess" He pulled her into a hug pecking the top of her head before walking over to shake August's hand. He thought about anything he could've forgot to say or do before making his exit out of the apartment.
Summer walked over to the Tv turning it on so August had something to look at and tuned it to ESPN "I ca' take my pills yet? This shit killing me fa'real" He grunted holding his chest.
She frowned before shaking her head no "No you have one more hour babe..and you have to eat before. So I'm going to take a quick shower then whip something up real fast"
"Fuck" He sighed "Okay come hea'"
"Yes?" She sat by him leaning over as he stared at her before grabbing her neck softly and bringing her face even closer locking his lips with hers. Summer closed her eyes enjoying the kiss making sure to let him have all the control he wanted. She clenched her legs shut as he slowly pulled away to bit her lip then inserted his tongue to continue the kiss. Not wanting to become too hot and bothered she took the initiative to pull away.
"I appreciate yo ass— you doin a lot fa me' and I don't mean to put dat on you. I knew what I was gettin into and I wasn't careful enough..I let my guard down and got—got. Shits crazy but mo than anything I'm glad nun happened ta ya' I'd neva forgive myself it" He spoke "And I'm sorry fa' snapping at chu like I did. That's a problem that I have within myself that I need ta' change. I know how sensitive you are and I don't take that into consideration sometimes."
Summer grabbed his hand "Everything is fine..we're fine that's all I care about. We can just leave that in the past because I messed up too not just you"
They shared another kiss before Summer went to his room to take her shower. When she finished up she slipped on some lounge clothes and made her way back to the living area. She noticed that August had fell asleep so she decided not to bother him and went to the kitchen. She got everything out the fridge that she would need to make fish tacos and placed it on the counter.
She had went grocery shopping a few days before August was released so that the neither of them would have to worry about it when they returned home. It only took her thirty minutes to finish making the fish and shrimp tacos, cajun rice, and black beans with green salsa verde sauce on the side.
She plated both of their food making sure not to give August too much since his appetite wasn't all the way there from being on a feeding tube for so long then poured two glasses of fruit punch. She carried his plate first placing it on the coffee table and tapped his shoulder. The smell of food hit his nose so he slowly sat up running his eyes.
"Thank you mamas"
"Mhm, eat up I'm going to get your medicine ready"
She went to stand up but he grabbed her sides pulling her back down "Chill out fa' a second baby I'm good jus eat first"
"Okay" She got up again and grabbed her food then joined August in there lunch "Is it okay? I tried not to make it too spicy"
"Mhm it's straight I like it" He chewed "I ain't know you could cook"He took another bite careful not to spill anything.
"Only a few things I'm trying to learn though"
"Well you got a good start going"
As nightfall came they migrated from the living room to his bedroom and Summer helped him take a quick shower managing not to get his bandages wet. He washed his face and brushed his own teeth by leaning against the wall then they laid in the bed.
"I kno' you wanna get close so gon head and scoot up"
She blushed only moving a little closer "I don't wanna press too hard on your wounds"
"Them pills got me in cloud nine imma be good for the night get comfy"
She didn't argue anymore and did just that, as he shut off the lamp Summer smiled to herself. She no longer had to worry and stress about losing him because he was right here alive and healthy with no plans on going anywhere.
••
The next morning Summer ended up waking up before August due to her phone ringing. She yawned and grabbed it off the charger before entering the bathroom to answer it
"Hey Amb, what's up? It's like 8 am" She sniffled and grabbed a napkin to wipe under her nose.
"I kno I kno I'm sorry..How's everything wit August?"
Switching the phone to her other ear she responded "He's doing alright he settled in better than expected. As long as he doesn't move around too much the pain isn't that bad he says. But what's going on with you..you sound weird?"
"I've been dealing wit something actually...and I really didn't want ta botha you wit it but" She sighed desperately "I fucked up bad Summer"
Becoming interested Summer contorted her eyebrows as she took a seat on the edge of the tub "Spill it"
"Well things between Darrell and I have evolved and I kno I said I wasn't plannin on catching feelings but I did and I feel hard which baffles me because I still love Malique deeply so I'm just inna confused spot..Darrell's been getting pretty frustrated wit me because even though Malique and I are still on a break we talk almost everyday. That's besides the fact though..let me stop stalling and just spit it the fuck out cause I'm going crazy and ion what to do—"
"Amber just say it my anxiety is sky high right now"
"Summer I'm pregnant"
"What!" Summer whispered loudly "Wait wait wait..its Darrells?"
Amber began to cry as she paced her bedroom "Yes. Summer I can't keep this baby I can't..college starts in less than two months and I had my heart set on going. I kno if I tell my parents they'll make me stay home and I don't want to do dat. I took every precaution you're supposed to take and hea I am looking like a whole clown"
Summer bit her lip lost for words "Amber..it's going to be okay we can figure this out"
"I think I already did" She mumbled "I set an appointment last week at my doctors office fa' 9:30 today fa' an abortion"
"Does Darrell know about this? Hell, Malique"
"No one knows Summer not even Antonio and I tell dat boy everything but I jus don't feel like being judged right na. I want ta' do what's best fa me but he won't see it like that, no one will" She said as her voice saddened "I don't want Antonio throwing the fact that he was right in my face eitha. If Malique was ta' eva find out about this he'd hate me so much."
"What about how Darrell would feel? I'm not knocking what you want to do I'll support you through anything I just want a better understanding"
"He's not ready for a baby and neither am I..I just think it's best he doesn't know" She confessed "I kno it's wrong but I have to make a choice he's still playing in these streets and I have a future to build. I don't even kno if he's the person I want to be wit.. I have love fa' him but it's just not enough ta' keep this child"
"Okay okay" Summer breathed "If you're really sure about this I'll pick you up and we can do this. Only if you're serious about it though I don't want to let you do something you're not sure about."
"I'm sure, I have to be"
"Get dressed then I'll be there in a hour or less " She confirmed "And don't beat yourself up about this you're not the only girl in the world that's had to make a decision. You may think you're only doing this for yourself but you're saving this baby as well. You're not ready and you admitted that, you're saving this baby from a childhood that's not ideal."
After the call ended Summer went ahead and did her daily hygiene before putting on a pair of denim shorts, a cropped hoodie and her gucci slides. She threw all her necessities in her purse before waking August up
"Hm?" He hummed still obviously sleepy.
"I have to step out for a second I shouldn't be too long but if you need anything text me. I'll leave some fruit up here in case you wake up before I'm back to make something"
"Mhm" He hummed again flipping on his other side carefully.
She left him alone after that then left the apartment to pick Amber up. They got to the clinic in twenty minutes still a few minutes early so after Amber signed in and the staff had them sit and wait in the waiting room.
"You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah I am..jus nervous and anxious ready to get it ova wit really" She sighed clasping her hands together "I really hope God can forgive me fa this.."
"Everyone has their life written out for them so he's already forgiven you."
A nurse then stepped out of the side door and looked down at her clipboard "Amber Clarkson? We're ready for you"
They both stood up and followed the nurse to a private room. They had Amber remove her clothes and change into a hospital gown before ordering her to lay on the provided bed. They did the basic medical steps by taking her blood and checking her vitals to see if she was healthy enough for the procedure. Once everything was clear they did a quick ultrasound to see the baby. She was only about three weeks so there was nothing to really see but Amber still refused to look. She knew if she did she would change her mind about going through with it.
"Okay I'm just going to have you lay back and spread your legs. Since you're so early on this shouldn't take long at all maybe less then fifteen minutes. You'll feel a small pinch and then a suctioning feeling. If there's any pain please let my know immediately they most you should feel is slight discomfort though"
Amber took a deep breath so Summer went over to hold her hand "Okay"
The doctor turned around and grabbed the necessary equipment. When he inserted the small tube and started to guide it up until it reached her cervix Amber flinched and bit her lip "The hard part is done try to relax as much as possible."He coached.
He then turned on the vaccum and Amber felt tears run down her face. She never thought she'd be this girl..she always looked down on people that did this and now she understood. It wasn't just some simple thing to go and get done it was mentally challenging. Throughout the process she thought about telling the kind doctor to just drop but she knew it was too late for that.
After what felt like hours but was only a short amount of minutes later the doctor announced that the termination was complete and allowed Amber to put her clothes back on. When he came back into the room after a few moments of privacy he started to tell her what was to come for the next few days.
"You may experience light bleeding/spotting and or cramping as if you were on your menstrual cycle for the next few days which is normal. If you notice that the amount of blood loss is excessive please come back so we can see what's going on. Avoid sex or inserting anything in the vagina for at least one week as well as any straining physical activity. Your cervix is slightly opened so we don't want to cause any damages"
"That's it?" She mumbled.
"Yes Mrs.Clarkson it is, this hospital is also affiliated with planned parenthood which offers therapy sessions so if you feel as if you need someone to talk to just call our front desk" The Doctor had noticed Amber wasn't completely satisfied with her decision so he made sure to inform her of all her options during the recovery period.
"Thank you"
"No problem. You're now free to go have a good day" He said flashing a sympathetic smile before leaving the room.
••
When Summer arrived home she went straight to the room where August was up and watching Tv. "Hey baybeh" He greeted her as she kicked her shoes off "Whea you had went?"
Thinking of a quick lie Summer said, "I had to run to the store for some pads"
"So whea they at?" He chuckled.
She palmed her face "I left them in the car"
"I would get em fa you but I'm obviously fucked up"
She playfully rolled her eyes and pecked his cheek "Play too much, are you hungry?"
"A lil but my mama insisted on bring us both some breakfast she cooked so you don't gotta worry bout it" He spoke "She should be hea in anotha thirty minutes"
"Okay" She yawned "I think I'll take a little nap until then"
She slipped of her jean shorts not bothering to change into anything else before getting under the covers. Her head laid on August's shoulder while he placed his hand on the small of her back.
"Wait befo you go to sleep' ian seen my journal inna while. It's a small brown one dat look kinda to' up"
Summer sat up "Oh um I have it" She admitted before standing up and grabbing her old school bag. She unzipped the top part and pulled out the notebook before walking over to the bed and handing it to August.
He frowned a little but quickly erased it "You read it?"
"Only a few pages I'm sorry.."
"It's fine babe it's jus a bit personal" He said "Sum I wanted ta' myself ya'kno"
"I get it but when you were in the hospital with no indications of waking up I wanted a way to hear you and..I just sorry" She said again seeing that he was visibly upset but trying not to show it.
He flipped through the notebook before placing it in his nightstand drawer. "Come hea'"
She took back her rightful spot on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her before beginning to sing. "...Because ya so beautifuuul God made you ta' show dat off ohhh Ian neva been the jealous typa guy but I want chu to myself mm I can't lieee—-I don't want nobody but youuuuu kissin on my tattoos and I don't want nobody but meeeeee talkin to you until you fall asleep——I don't want nobody but youu nobody but youuu"
••
"August relax" Summer mumbled sleepily it was now well into the night and August was experiencing excruciating pain in his chest and right leg. Causing Summer to wake up from his constant moans and groans. He had already took his medication but it wasn't helping him one bit so he was starting to get pissed off.
He groaned gripping his chest "I feel like I can't fuckin' breath how tha fuck I'm posed ta' relax?"
"For one you can stop cussing at me so I can figure something out" She said tiredly as she sat up.
She tried massaging the areas but that only made him feel worse so she called her Dad. After two or three calls with no answer she realized that he was most likely working or sleeping. Letting go of her pride she called her Mom hoping she could help at least some.
"Yes Summer I'm busy right now"She said as soon as the call connected.
Summer sucked her teeth "At three am? Okay, anyway is Dad home."
"I'll ignore that because I simply don't have the energy for your horrible attitude. Yes, he's home and sleeping he got off work not too long ago. What is it that you need?"
"I needed to ask him something about August because he's in pain right now and I don't know what to do"
Mrs.Banks let out an annoyed sigh "Your father doesn't have time for these calls Summer, you're already distracting him from work. That boy can call his own damn parents now I have to go Goodnight" She rudely hung up in Summers face. Summer bit her lip and stood up from the bed to enter the bathroom. She didn't want August to see her upset when he was the one that was important right now.
"I'm so done with her" She whispered to herself leaning over the sink letting the tears fall. She was used to her mom being cold and blunt and learned to accept it but sometimes she wished she showed her a bit of empathy or compassion.
Summer couldn't remember a time in her life where her Mom was the first person to pop up in her mind when she needed to talk and that bothered her. There were so many things as a woman she had to go through alone and she hated her for that.
"You're a big girl stop crying" She said again wiping her tears getting ride of any evidence of sadness. When she felt she had herself together she grabbed her heating pads from under the sink and traveled to kitchen warming them up in the microwave.
When she got back into the room August laid in the same spot with his arm thrown over his eyes "Babe" she called.
"Hmm" He hummed.
"I don't know if this will make it better but we can try" She said placing the individual pads on all his bandages. Almost instantly he let out a sigh of relief "Good?" She questioned.
"Still hurts like a bitch but it's mo tolerable"
"Okay..I wish I could do more babe but my minds blank"
"This is fine" He yawned
••
Drop it lowwww for Jesus...yeah...keep the lord in mindddddd when you dirty wine drop it drop it for Jesus 😔
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