Baz
He's not breaking up with me?
"I don't want to risk that happening again, Baz."
He's not breaking up with me.
"Baz?"
Simon's wanting to stay alive. And he doesn't want me gone.
"Baz, please say something."
I love you so much.
"No no, love!" I shout, and it even surprises me. I stand up (not from the shout, but the enthusiasm having sudden control of my limbs). "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'll call Fiona and she'll let you stay at the mansion." I can feel my legs making me pace because I need to get this joyrush out of my body. "Nicodemus wouldn't even go near that place if he wanted to. Even if he did, I'd guard that place with my life whether or not you broke up with me. No one will hurt you if I'm there, I swear by all of Magick."
"What?" Simon's brows quirk at me. "Who said I was breaking up with you?"
I'm stood in place, almost feeling stuck to the floor again. "Well, I thought... earlier... when you asked if this was all we were going to have. When you were excited about it all and now you're..."
"No! No, I was talking about fighting everything! All the vampires! I just didn't know if I wanted that anymore."
"I know!" I fall to the bed and take the space next to him. "I know! I get that now!" I'm so relieved. Absolutely ecstatic. Every ounce of dread that's been weighing on me for the past two hours is lifting. I can still feel it going as the realization sets in. The realization that Simon Snow still wants to be my boyfriend. That he was surprised that I thought he wanted to break up with me. Maybe I'm not so terrible.
"What are you thinking?" He's beaming. He's showing his teeth and his shoulders are bouncing as he lets out an airy laugh. How long has it bloody well been since we've been close to feeling this euphoric?
"I just," I look down. My hands feel like I was sitting on them too long and pins and needles are coursing through them. I didn't even realize they were holding his. "I agree with everything you're saying," I say. Simon's staying alive. It's a matter of fact. I dare any vampire, any creature to stop that from being possible. I dare Lamb to hold me back again from trying to reach him, from holding him. I'd tear his limbs off with my teeth for dramatic effect. He doesn't matter compared to Simon.
Believe me, Simon Snow. Only you matter to me.
Simon
The fullness in my heart is overwhelming. I could shoot through all these floors and not feel a thing from it. This was the best possible outcome I could've asked for. Baz keeps looking up at me and I can read him now (even without the massive context clues of this conversation). He loves me.
"I'm so glad this is what you want." He tells me. He puts a palm to my face. His coolness soothes my skin. "You were the Chosen One. You gave up everything to save us all, to save the World of Mages. You made what we all thought was the ultimate sacrifice, Simon. Then we came to America."
"Baz..." I almost ask him where he's going with this. His expression changes slightly and he closes his eyes.
"And I thought you were gone in that desert." His head falls and his widow's peak is against my mouth. I instinctively kiss it, smelling the cedar and bergamot. "Seeing you in the sand, just not moving. When I was trudging up the hill with Lamb as we heard those gunshots that suddenly just stopped... and you were in the sand... and you weren't moving and..."
"That's not going to happen," I reassure him. Because it's not. I don't care if I look like a coward or some kind of damsel. I'm a Normal now (with an exception or two), and I can't just charge at vampires or chimeras or even another Humdrum and expect to brush it off and heal in a couple days no problem. I could die. I almost died. I don't want to. That's what's different now.
Baz looks up at me, making some attempt to look composed by brushing his hair out of his eyes. I grab the side of his face, which helps keep it back. He's got a hand on my wrist and lets a little air out past his lips, making them sputter and a couple droplets of spit fly out (which never happens). He wipes his mouth and I can see it on his face. "Crowley, this is pathetic," I swear I can almost hear it. Yet he still smiles at me, so he's not totally ashamed. "Watching you just on that couch, Simon, was hard. I wanted to help you but I didn't know how to. I thought we weren't going to get any worse, you know?" Sadly, yes. "But I never thought I could feel so helpless when you just wouldn't get up from the sand."
"I think a Normal life will be more fitting for us than I originally thought."
Baz
'For us' he says. A Normal life just might be more fitting for us.
"Yeah," I nod, vigorously for sure. "I think so t —" And there they are. The loud flap of Simon's leather wings, it consumes my eardrums, sounding like a parachute opening. They sprung free and unfolded quickly, it shoved the right bedside lamp to the ground. Now he's blushing. "I'll pay for that."
He laughs and I press my head to his. He presses back and I almost lean in to kiss him. Almost. The euphoria in this room deserves to be celebrated, but I wait.
Simon
His breath is on my mouth and we're bumping noses like that's all you're supposed to do. He's looking right at me. I can hear him saying it. "Can I?"
"You don't have to ask." I breathe. Then I lean into him. My hand is still in his hair and this feels so good. I don't even focus on the suffocation. I don't feel it. Maybe it's because I'm aware of what I feel (when it comes to kissing at least). Maybe it's because I don't want to hide anymore. He's holding on to my hand and I can feel he's trying to find a natural place to put his other one (he settles with my side). Before I know it we've fallen on the bed, and we have to pull apart because laughing gets in the way of kissing.
Baz looks at me with a smile I haven't seen in so long. One of his hands is in my hair now. He loves my curls. "You've been the Chosen One, Simon. That part's over." He sighs, and his thumb is now tracing a freckle on my cheek. "But you're not done. I'll help you move on. Bunce and I both will, I promise."
"I know." I push his hair back again, even though it didn't need to be.
"Tomorrow, stay with my parents, eat, be warm, and enjoy being a Normal for Merlin's sake. I'll handle the baddies and we can go home."
"I think I need to consider going back to therapy."
"That can be arranged. I have her number." I never told Baz —. "When I saw Penelope put the business card on the fridge, I knew you were going to get rid of it eventually."
I mean, he's not wrong. I knew Penelope put the card on the fridge because I'm always the one scrounging for food. Even for one of her yogurts despite the awful aftertaste. I couldn't stand seeing it after I stopped booking appointments. It was just staring at me, reminding me constantly about what I wasn't doing. I get that's the point, but still. It doesn't make it easier. Baz understanding this, thinking that far ahead... I don't know. It makes me laugh. Baz thinking ahead of me in any situation is typical, expected really. But even then, when I was just downing cider and crisps and avoiding all possible conversation, he was still looking out for me. I give him a couple more kisses, quick pecks. I love him so much.
"Is it all out now?" All the big stuff up there." His short nails scratch the back of my head so pleasantly, I feel chills up my spine.
"Enough of it is," I say.
"What's the rest?"
"Tomorrow." I'm exhausted. We both are. And I'm confident this argument's been settled. A lot has been settled and figured out and the right steps are being taken in what feels like bloody ages. I'm more than ready to get back home, but we need to sleep for tonight.
I kiss Baz one more time (I couldn't help it) and I pull him up with me as I finally rest my head on the pillows. The weight of Baz's head on my chest feels wonderful. I didn't realize how much I missed it. How much I missed everything. There's no doubt he can feel how fast my heart is beating.
Baz
I don't press him any further. I've gotten more than I've expected already. And everything's so much better. We get to go to sleep feeling the best we've felt in months.
Simon lets out the greatest sigh of relief I've heard from him. His heart is racing, it's almost deafening, but sleep is a reward for us tonight and we will be taking it. He gives me his hand, and of course, I take that too. I hold it close and I can feel the warmth radiating off his skin and grazing over my mouth and nose.
We deserve this.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
A/N: Yay! You're done! Thank you to everyone for reading this! I really appreciate it 💛
If you're curious, there's this song by Lyldoll called Clockwork. It's very much Baz's POV throughout this story and was a major inspiration and motivation to keep writing this lol. Plus Lyldoll is just so talented and I love her so much.
Thank you again!