Alec woke up because he was feeling this weird feeling of emptiness inside of him.
He frowned a bit, and opened his eyes. At first, he didn't see anything, but as his eyes started to get used to the dark, he saw Magnus asleep, in front of him, on his side, and Chairman Meow between them, also sleeping.
Alec noticed there was a bit of light coming from somewhere he didn't know.
The blue-eyed boy felt that emptiness inside of him, as if it started to grow. He whimpered low. He didn't know why, but he was feeling so alone. As if there was nobody left for him in the world.
Alec sat up on the edge of the bed, with his feet hanging from the bed. He suddenly noticed his back hadn't hurt, while he sat up on Magnus' bed. Alec whimpered, a bit in pain. The feeling of emptiness was hurting him.
He put his hand on his chest, and pressed it, trying to get all the emptiness off his chest.
Alec didn't understand that sudden feel of emptiness. Or why he was feeling so alone. Or why he could only think about Jace.
Jace.
Alec's heart stopped beating.
Jace...
Alec stood up, and heard Chairman Meow, meowing something behind him, in the bed, on Magnus' arms, now. He could barely breathe.
During those 5 years, Alec and Jace's bound had become weak. They weren't as close as they had once been. But Alec had always felt some kind of feeling inside of him, connected to Jace. As if there was a second alive being inside of him.
He didn't feel that anymore.
And that only meant one thing.
Jace had died.
He felt his chest tightening more, and he quickly walked out of Magnus' room, needing to go to the bathroom. Once he was out, he was lost for a minute, not really knowing where he was for some seconds, until he remembered he was in front of Magnus' room.
He turned his head to the right, and saw the bathroom's door. He went there quietly, not wanting to wake Magnus up, with his left arm shaking.
He entered the bathroom, and the mirror was already in front of him. The bathroom was kinda small. Right when you entered, there was the washbasin, with some drawers under it; there was also a tiny carpet on the floor. On the left of it, there was the toilet, and the bath. The walls were a smooth blue, and white.
Alec looked at himself at the mirror. He didn't really look good. He was paler than usual, and had dark bags under his eyes. His hair was more messier than ever. Alec whimpered a bit. The emptiness was getting worse.
He was denying the fact that Jace could be dead. Alec knew he was just making a fool out of himself. He couldn't feel that feeling inside of him, that reminded him Jace was still alive.
He looked at himself again, and slowly took his shirt off. He stared at his own body. His pale skin was covered in black runes, and scars from the past; the parabatai rune was on his back, though. Alec just couldn't turn and look at it.
He stood there for some minutes, just taking deep breaths, trying not to whimper painfully. A couple of minutes later, he looked at himself again in the mirror, closed his eyes, and turned, with his back facing the mirror.
Alec took a deep breath, and in an impulsive move, he turned a bit his head.
And he saw it.
The parabatai rune. Gray. Faded. Dead.
Jace wasn't alive anymore.
Alec fell to the floor, the realization hitting him; hard. He covered his face with his hands, at the moment he started crying, still trying to process Jace had died. He covered his mouth with a hand, and with the other, he gripped a towel under the basin, on the drawer.
He couldn't believe it, but he had seen his rune. It was faded. Alec was trying to cover his sobs, so he wouldn't wake Magnus up. But the cat-eyed Warlock had already woken up.
Alec flinched when he felt a warm hand on his cold shoulder, but didn't turn his head, already knowing who it was.
"Alexander..." Magnus said, sad.
He already knew what was going on with Alec. He had just had to be woken up by Chairman Meow, and hear sobs right after that. Magnus had immediately gone to the bathroom and found Alec crying on the floor, shirtless.
All the Shadowhunters whom their parabatai had died, had to be helped in different ways. The only thing they had in common was that they all needed the help, support and love of their family and friends. And there was where Alec had a problem.
Alec couldn't get any closer to his "family" and "friends". They would depress him even more.
Magnus let Alec cry, in silence, since it seemed as if the blue-eyed boy was trying to stop crying, and tell Magnus something.
The cat-eyed Warlock didn't say anything; he just gave Alec the time to say whatever he wanted to tell him.
Magnus felt his heart shattering into pieces, listening to Alec's sobs, and seeing him broken. Alec was the last Nephilim who deserved that. After everything he had gone through, now, his parabatai had died.
Jace and Alec hadn't really gotten along, as the years went. They had even gotten to a point where they hated each other. Well, Jace hated Alec; the blue-eyed boy just couldn't hate his parabatai.
Magnus still didn't really know why Jace had hated Alec that much. It wasn't as if Alec had done something terrible to him. Actually, it should've been the other way around. Alec should've been the one who hated Jace, because of all the homophobic things he had said.
But no. Alec being the sweet soul he was, hadn't hated Jace. Disliked him, perhaps. But never hated the blond Shadowhunter.
However, Jace was a part of Alec, and even though there was no love left for the other in them, they needed each other. And now that Jace was dead, Alec was paying the price.
Magnus, still bent down, with his right hand on Alec's cold shoulder, shook his head, trying not to think about all that, and focus on the sobbing blue-eyed Shadowhunter on the floor; Magnus was still not doing anything.
"M-M-Ma-Mag-Mag-nus-M-Magnus-us..." Alec made it to say between sobs, still looking down at the floor between his legs.
"Mhm?" Magnus simply said, rubbing Alec's pale skin with his thumb.
"I-I-Is-Is-Is h-he-h-e-he d-d-dea-dea-dead?"
There was silence.
The High Warlock Of Brooklyn took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was about to happen.
"Uhm..." He started, but got no idea how to continue. How can you tell someone that the closest person to you has died?
Alec, with Magnus' silence, turned his head and looked at him; the cat-eyed Warlock saw Alec's blue ocean eyes were red and puffy, filled with sadness. His face was a mask of devastation. Magnus decided he would tell Alec the truth, since lying was worse.
"Yes... Yes, Jace is dead." He said.
Alec closed his eyes, as if the pain was too much for him to bear, and turned his head once again, looking back down. Alec sobbed not so low, and that was it for Magnus. He sat down on the floor, and reached his arms out, pulling Alec to him, so he could hug him.
Magnus wrapped his arms around the blue-eyed boy, and let him cry as much as he wanted, or needed. Alec started to sob properly, since he seemed to be holding the sobs back, and Magnus couldn't help but let a small tear fall down his own cheek; he was just so sad, seeing Alec like that.
But he held himself back, not wanting to burst into crying too, not knowing how that would affect Alec.
He heard the blue-eyed Shadowhunter murmuring something, he couldn't quite understand, to himself, as he sobbed. Magnus sighed sadly, and put Alec sitting properly on his lap; both of them, still with their arms wrapped around the other.
Alec was sitting on Magnus' crossed legs, with his arms around Magnus' back, his legs around the cat-eyed's waist, and his head on his chest, crying.
He wasn't sobbing that much anymore, but he was still crying. Alec turned a bit his head, so he could breathe better, since having it pressed on Magnus' chest, wasn't the best way to breathe. He had his left ear glued on Magnus' collarbone.
Alec still cried, and sobbed a bit, but within an hour, he cried less and less, until he stopped, even though they remained like that, none of them wanting to move.
By the end of the hour, Alec had moved a bit. He had his side against Magnus' upper body, and Magnus was holding him with an arm around his small of back, while the other arm had the hand resting on Alec's lap, held by both of Alec's hands; the Shadowhunter had Magnus' hand inside both of his. He was rubbing it unconsciously, while he thought about Jace.
None of them was in an awkward silence; they were good like that.
The entire apartment was in silence, that was cut off once a while when Alec sniffed. The blue-eyed boy was feeling a little bit better, after having cried, but he was still feeling that emptiness inside of him.
He was starting to feel a bit of cold; it was not odd, since he had been shirtless for more than an hour, and the bathroom was the coldest room in Magnus' apartment. Alec shook a bit, and Magnus noticed. The blue-eyed boy had his eyes closed, as he shook in coldness.
"Alexander, are you cold?" Magnus whispered. That whisper almost seemed to be a shout, thanks to all the silence in the Warlock's apartment.
Alec nodded a little, but it was enough for Magnus to understand he was cold. The cat-eyed Warlock wasn't cold. It was actually kinda the opposite; he was wearing a shirt, and he had Alec sitting on him.
Magnus supposed Alec was cold because of being shirtless in the bathroom, and having lost his parabatai. Magnus snapped his fingers, and Alec was wearing a shirt once again; he was still shaking, though.
The cat-eyed Warlock decided they were returning to bed. It was at least 2 am, and Alec needed rest. Magnus stood up, and brought the blue-eyed Shadowhunter up, with him. He put his right arm around Alec's small of back, holding him, and felt Alec letting his head fall on his shoulder.
Alec sobbed a bit again, and Magnus hugged him tighter. Alec let some tears fall down his cheeks, but held himself back from crying, since he wasn't sure what would happen if he started crying again. They walked to Magnus' bedroom, and the cat-eyed Warlock looked at Alec.
"You don't really mind sleeping on my bed, right?" He asked and Alec simply shook his head, pressing it more on Magnus' shoulder. They entered the room, and Alec saw Chairman was still on the bed, lying down, looking at them.
"Chairman you lazy ass!" Magnus said, and the cat hissed at him. Alec almost laughed at them.
Magnus walked with Alec to his bed, and lay him down. Alec blushed, but didn't complain about Magnus helping him, lying down on the bed. After that, Magnus turned, and started walking out of the room. Alec immediately sat up on the bed, "Where are you going?" He asked.
Right after asking this, he blushed hard, because he realized how worried he had sounded. Magnus smiled a bit.
"Don't worry, as ironic as this can sound, I need the toilet. I'm coming back in a minute." The Warlock said, and Alec nodded, letting his head fall on a pillow.
Magnus left, and Alec moved to a side of the bed. To the furthest one. He covered his entire body with the sheets, and after he heard the bathroom's door opening, Alec started to cry again. He couldn't stop thinking about Jace. Memories of him, whether they were good or bad, came back to him
Most of them were sad, actually, the only happy ones he had, were the ones where he and Jace were still so young. Because the hatred had started when they were older.
Alec moved his hands, wiping the tears away from his eyes, but the only thing he did was cry more, with his hands covering his eyes.
Suddenly, he heard the door of the bathroom opening, and seconds later, closing. With that, he remembered about Magnus' existence.
"Shit..."
He didn't want Magnus to see him crying again.
Magnus closed the door of the bathroom behind him, a d walked to his room. He opened the door of his bedroom, and when he entered, instead of seeing Alec lying down on the bed, he saw a bulge on the bed.
"A-Alexander?" He asked, still standing at the door.
That bulge moved, and Magnus guessed it was Alec, under the sheets, and not some other thing Magnus didn't want to think about.
"Alexander..." Magnus whispered, walking to the bed. He sat down on his bed, with his legs crossed, facing the bulge. There was silence, and it was then that Magnus heard the small sobs and cries, coming from the blue-eyed Shadowhunter.
Magnus sighed, when Alec didn't say anything, and lifted the blanket up a bit, lying down under the sheets, without Alec noticing.
Magnus couldn't see anything under the sheets. He closed his right hand in a fist and when he opened it, there was a bright blue small ball in it. He saw Alec was indeed turned; Magnus saw his shoulders were shaking, and he heard him sobbing again.
"Alexander... Can you please turn?" He asked, as soft as he could.
The Shadowhunter remained like that, thinking about Magnus' words, and thinking about turning and facing Magnus, or not.
If he turned, the cat-eyed boy would see him crying, again. Magnus probably thought he was pathetic. He was ruining the Nephilim's reputation in some way.
The Nephilim were supposed to be the strongest and bravest beings, in the Earth. The only ones who cried were fags.
Alec sobbed. He couldn't stop thinking about all that, while he remained with his back facing the Warlock. All the insecurities he'd had, because of all the homophobic stuff his so called family had told him.
What if Magnus thought he was too weak, and left him? Or what if he kicked him out? Perhaps he was already fed up of him. Actually, he was just a burden. He hadn't helped Magnus in anything, since he had woken up in the sofa of the apartment for the first time; he was useless. He wasn't useful for anything.
Probably, that blue light coming from the behind, was just a Portal, to take him to the cul-de-sac where he had found him, days ago, next to the place where Alec lived.
Or maybe it was a Portal that would take him back to the New York Institute. Alec turned immediately pale, just by thinking about the Institute. If Magnus sent him there, he would be in trouble. He would find himself again with the homophobic people who he had considered his family once, who had ended up disowning him, for his sexual orientation. He was going to suffer a lot if he returned there.
He let a sob out, thinking about all he'd had to hear about gays, while he still lived in the Institute, and what they would do to him, if he returned there.
"N-no... N-no-no, p-p-plea-please..." he said, right before letting another sob out, a bit louder than the one before, this one.
Magnus blinked confusingly. "No, what? Alexander turn, please!" He exclaimed, worried.
Alec noticed Magnus' impatient and dry tone, and he sniffed a bit, trying to cover a bit his sobs. Magnus was truly fed up of him. In the second he turned, he would send him straight to the Institute.
"I-I-I d-do-don't-t -wa-want-t- t-to-to g-g-go the-there... P-plea-please... N-N-No... I-I'll-I'll g-g-go b-bu-but plea-please d-don-don't ma-ma-make me-me r-re-ret-return the-the-there..." he stuttered out, between sobs.
Magnus couldn't be more confused. Return? To where? What was Alec talking about?
"Alec. Turn. I need to know what you're talking about, so I can help you."
Magnus hadn't even called him Alexander, this time; he was truly fed up of him. Alec sobbed a little, and decided he would turn, because if he didn't do so, Magnus would, with magic.
He turned, but remained with his eyes closed; he could see through his eyelids the smooth blue light of the Portal. He waited some seconds, with his eyes closed, for Magnus' Portal to take him to the Institute.
He had already stopped crying, because, if he returned to the Institute, he didn't want to be seen crying, because they would just make even more fun out of him.
There was silence. None of them said anything.
Alec was still waiting for Magnus to take him back to the Institute, and Magnus was waiting for Alec to open his eyes and tell him what was going on.
Alec opened his eyes, after some more seconds of wondering if he had to open them or not. It wasn't a Portal, the bright blue thing, but a small blue light Magnus had in hand.
The Shadowhunter looked at the light, then at Magnus, who was looking at him, kinda confused, and then once again at the blue ball of light.
He almost sighed in relief, seeing it wasn't a Portal that would bring him to the Institute, until he remembered there were so many types of Portals, and that maybe it was indeed a Portal, what Magnus had on his hand, but in a smaller size.
Alec looked scared, at Magnus.
"I-I-I'm-I'm s-so-s-sorry, o-o-oka-okay? I-I d-di-di-didn't mea-mea-mean-n t-to-to bo-bo-bothe-bother-r y-y-you... I-I-I'll lea-lea-leave-ve b-b-by-by my-my-myself-f... Y-you do-don-don't ha-ha-have to-to bri-bring m-m-me there..." Alec stuttered out, before he tried to get out of the bed, of the room, of the apartment and of Magnus' life, so he could return to his creepy and dark apartment, where the only things that were waiting for him, were some spiders hanging from the ceiling, dust and the miserable lonely life he had been living for years, but Magnus stopped him, taking his arm softly, and preventing him from getting out of the bed.
"What are you talking about, Alexander? Who told you, you're bothering me? What are you apologizing for, and where do you think I'm sending you to?"
Alec, who was now lying down again, but was still tensed, in case Magnus did send him away, looked at him confused.
"Y-you wo-won't se-send me t-to the Institute?" He asked, lowering a bit his head, looking at his feet.
"What? No! Why would I do that?" Magnus asked, a bit concerned.
Alec still wasn't able to look up a bit and meet Magnus' gaze, so he stayed with his eyes looking at his feet.
"B-because I-I haven't he-helped with in any-any-anything, si-since y-y-you brought m-m-me here... I-I'm j-j-just useless..." He mumbled.
It was then, that Magnus understood it. Alec had thought the bright blue ball he had in hand would take him to the Institute, because he thought Magnus was fed up of him, since the only he had done since Magnus had brought him to his apartment, had been crying, getting depressed and sleeping.
It wasn't odd. He had lost his parabatai. Shadowhunters usually came up with conclusions too fast, after their parabatai died.
"Alexander, you couldn't help me in any way... You could barely move until today... And even if you had annoyed me in any way, I wouldn't have sent you back to the Institute; that would've been so cruel. I don't want you worrying about that, now, okay?" Magnus said, gently.
Alec nodded, and Magnus saw his eyes were starting to tear up.
"I-I'm s-sorry..." He muttered, right before he hugged Magnus fast, needing some comfort. He put his head under Magnus', on his neck, with his black-ravened hair tingling on the cat-eyed's chin.
He didn't cry, though; he just wanted, needed to feel he wasn't that alone, and Magnus comforting him.
Magnus moved his wrist a little, and the ball of light rose up until it hit the blanket that was covering them, enlightening everything under the sheets, with smooth blue light.
"You really thought I was going to send you back to the Institute?" Magnus asked, once Alec calmed down a bit more, and he had his arms around the blue-eyed boy, holding him.
Alec didn't say anything, but Magnus felt how he nodded.
"This ball of light... It's not a Portal, Alexander. I wanted to see you, and since under the sheets is so dark, I needed a light. And don't worry, if you're not helping me, in anything. I'm a Warlock, I could mend almost everything, with a snap of my fingers. I don't need help..."
There was silence for some seconds, until the Shadowhunter decided to break it. "Everyone needs help someday..." He murmured.
Magnus chuckled low, with Alec's smart answer. "I already know how to find help, or ask for it, if I ever need it."
Alec moved a bit his head, and he put it on the Warlock's shoulder, with his right cheek touching Magnus' neck; he felt his pulse, beating against his cheek.
"And what about you?" The High Warlock Of Brooklyn suddenly asked.
"What do you mean?" Asked the blue-eyed boy, confused.
"If you know how to ask for help..."
"Oh..." Alec blushed, and cursed himself for doing so. "Uhm..." He didn't really know what to say; Magnus gave him time. "Well, uhm... Y-you already know that... That it's kinda h-hard for me to use words t-to express myself... S-so I learned not to need a-any help from a-anybody..." Alec took a deep breath, trying not to panic out, "Whenever my parents saw me struggling trying to do something on my own, even if I knew I needed help, they ignored m-me... S-so-so I-I lea-learned n-not t-to need he-help, be-be-becau-because I-I-I-..."
Magnus noticed how nervous Alec was getting, and he brought his hand up to Alec's face, rubbing his cheek softly, making it for Alec to calm down, and stop talking.
They remained in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts, Magnus still with his hand on Alec's cheek.
Alec started wondering. They were just friends, right? But friends didn't interact like this, with each other. Especially if they were not a boy and a girl. That wasn't right. They couldn't be like this. More wrong it couldn't be. They were two boys; one of them homosexual and the other bisexual; one a Shadowhunter and the other a Downworlder.
That wasn't right; it had to stop.
With that in mind, Alec took his arms off Magnus, and moved to the edge of the bed, turning, so his back was facing the Warlock, and he was looking at the wall. Magnus, confused and surprised at the same time, frowned. He could hear Alec's breath, which seemed to be a bit faster than normal, but he didn't seem to be crying.
"Alexander? Have I done something wrong? Have I... Have I hurt you in some way?" Magnus asked, still kind of confused.
"Uhm... No." Alec's voice was expressionless.
"What is it, then, Alexander?" He asked, as he approached him a bit, and put a hand on Alec's shoulder.
Alec flinched, when he felt Magnus' hand, touching him. "No, don't touch me!" He exclaimed and moved a bit more, almost falling off the bed. If he moved a little bit more, he would be falling off the bed.
Magnus took off his hand, a bit hurt. Alec's breath fastened as the seconds went.
"Y-you're a-a Downworlder, a-and-and I'm-I'm a Shadowhunter! A-and... And we're t-two boys, an-and... And w-we ca-can't be l-like this... It's wrong, and illegal..." Alec's voice broke with the last word.
Without noticing, tears started falling down his cheeks, remembering the fact that he was never going to be who he really was because of a stupid law. Once again, they stayed in silence.
"Alexander..." Magnus muttered, sad, but Alec didn't answer.
Magnus, knowing that if Alec moved a bit more, he would fall off the bed, moved closer to him, until he had Alec's back plastered on his front body; Magnus felt Alec's cold heels touching his ankles. He had his chest against Alec's back. Slowly, the Warlock put his right arm around Alec, and took one of his hands softly.
To Magnus' surprise, the blue-eyed boy didn't flinch, nor take his hand off his; Alec sighed and intertwined their hands. The Warlock smiled.
"Alexander, why do you worry of what people will think of you, if... If you don't have anyone else worrying about you? I mean... For what you've told me... Your so called family and friends don't care about you anymore... So why do you worry about what they would say, or what the Clave would say? I get it, you're a Shadowhunter, so you've got to follow the law and everything, but... The Clave probably thinks you're dead. Or perhaps they don't even know about you," Magnus took a deep breath.
"Knowing this... Why don't you live your life the way you want too?" He asked.
Alec felt some tears appear with Magnus' words. They were sad, but true. Nobody cared about him anymore. Why worry?
"Alexander, sweetheart, say something..." Magnus added, putting his head on Alec's shoulder; both of them looking at the wall in front of them, next to the bed. Alec felt his cheeks heat up, when he felt Magnus' cheek on his ear, and the cat-eyed's breath tingling on his neck.
Alec took a deep breath, "Uhm... Y-yeah... Yeah, I-I do-don't really think th-they know I'm still a-alive... B-but what about you?" Alec turned a bit his head, so he could look at Magnus; the Warlock was already looking at him, frowning a bit.
"Me? What about me?" He asked, and Alec turned his head, blushing a little, at the second he started talking.
Magnus had noticed that Alec couldn't look into someone's eyes, while he or they spoke. Could it that be because of his family and friends? Probably, Magnus thought, cursing them once again.
"Well, uhm... It's j-just that y-y-you and I... We're the complete opposites... E-every-everyone knows y-you, y-you've got... A-A lot of peo-people who ca-care about you... Y-You're pro-probably da-dating someone... A-And it's not as if p-people do-don't know o-or notice y-you..." Alec said, shyly.
Magnus laughed softly, listening to Alec. "Just a few things..." He started. "First of all. I'm noticed and known because I'm the High Warlock Of Brooklyn, or because I wear way too much glitter?"
Alec smiled and chuckled a bit. "Can it be both?" He asked, and Magnus nodded on Alec's shoulder.
"Of course... And second. Do you think that if I was dating someone I would be like this with you?" He asked, and Alec blushed hard; Magnus was right. They seemed to be dating.
"If this relieves you a bit, I haven't dated anyone for the lessen 100 years, at least." Magnus continued.
"One hundred years?" Alec asked, astonished. "B-But that's a lot... I-I mean... For being alone..."
"You can't even imagine..." Magnus said, kinda sad. "But after they break your heart... You just don't want to risk being heartbroken again, so you decide not to give your heart to someone again... But you already know what I mean, right?"
Alec nodded, sadly. They remained in silence. Alec took Magnus' hands with both of his; he was an addict with Magnus' hands. They were soft, incredibly soft. The Shadowhunter was gently rubbing his thumbs on the cat-eyed's back of hand. Some minutes later, Alec noticed Magnus' breath had slowed down, and it was a steady breath. He turned a bit his head, and saw Magnus had fallen asleep, with his head still on his shoulder.
The blue-eyed boy decided he would also sleep; crying was exhausting and panicking out even more. He closed his eyes and seconds later, he was already asleep, with his nose brushing Magnus' forehead, still with Magnus' hand in both of his.
They were lucky to have a very peaceful sleep.
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First of all: kskwjwhwkwbaknw this is so cute 😭😭😭
Second: Rexania and I have a new account called RALGHB !! We're soon going to start updating a very special story! You'll see what it is about... Please give it a chance!😂😂
Thank u xD! And please vote XD