Cry - Mandy Moore
I'll always remember,
It was late afternoon.
It lasted forever
And ended so soon.
You were all by yourself.
Staring up at a dark gray sky.
I was changed.
In places no one will find,
All your feelings so deep inside.
It was there that I realized,
That forever was in your eyes,
The moment I saw you cry.
It was late in September
And I've seen you before .
You were always the cold one.
But I was never that sure.
I wanted to hold you.
I wanted to make it go away.
I wanted to know you.
I wanted to make your everything
all right..
-♡-
Chapter 20 : SUMMER
ISABELLA'S POV
"Let me rephrase it for you,
What are you doing here ?" He says after taking a deep breath .
" To do what I should have done a long ago " I say and run into his unwelcoming arms .
"Go away Izzy " he whispers , while trying to push me away .
" I'm not going anywhere "
" You hate me , remember?"
" If by hate you mean love , I do"
I hug him even tighter and he finally processes my words and stops pushing me away .
I feel him stiffen before his arms wraps around me and he lowers his head and rests it on my shoulder .
"Izzy I miss her " he mumbles
"I know you do "I say and my left hand roams around his back , trying to sooth him .
He starts crying and I start to feel how vulnerable he actually is .
I don't know for how long we actually stayed that way , but after he was almost done crying , I made him sit on his bad and wiped his tears .
Looking at his state , I almost cried but controlled myself .
I have to be strong for him. I have to help him get through this .
"Why did she had to leave so early !"
"Look at me Ro " I say and he obeys
"She never left us . She's your mother Ro and nothing can separate a mother from her child , not even death "
I point my finger at his heart ,
"She's there " .
He was controlling his tears and
all I wanted to do was to somehow bring Aunt Sumner back to life !
"Come with me " I say
"Where ?"
"Just come "I say and drag him out of his room .
We proceeded towards the terrace .
Luckily the door was unlocked and we stood near the edge .
I point towards the night sky ,
"She's also watching us from up there Ro . You have to believe it"
"I know but it hurts a lot "
"I know . Ro , you have to understand that you are not the only one suffering .
Have you ever thought of your father , he lost his wife ?
Your sister , imagine her situation .
I still remember the way Aunt and your sis used to blicker , it was fun and games until Aunt Summer's death , Riley blames herself for all of it and you are the only one she talks to "
The bitter truth made Ro clench his fists and he started crying again .
I bite my tongue to control myself from doing the same .
" Ssh. It's okay to cry , don't overthink. It's just me " I say while my hand caresses his cheek .
"Listen Ro . Aunt Summer would never like that you changed so much because of her .
She wants you to be just the way
you are .
She wants you to remember her with a smile , that you got to spend whatever time you guys had together .
She left parts of her in the form of you and Riley . Just remember , she'll get hurt seeing you hurt "
He engulfed me in his arms immediately.
I inhale his scent which suddenly seemed stronger than ever before .
"There's something else too " he mumbles
"What?"
"Which made me the way I am right now ... "
"What are you talking about ?"
"I was depressed after that and did my best to hide it from dad and sis .
Because I didn't wanted them to worry about me .
But then something else happened here which just blowed my mind "
"What happened Ro ?"
"I ..I was "
"You were ?"
"I was bullied "
"What ? You're joking , right ?
On the contrary when I came here ,
I got to know that you are a bully!"
"That's before I was the one being bullied"
"So you are telling me that you were bullied and that's why you turned into a bully ?"
"Something like that "
"Wait a minute . It's kinda hard to digest . It means that you knew how it to feels to be bullied and in spite of that you choose to cause pain to others ?! "
"Listen, it was not easy for me ,okay ?"
"It's never easy Royal! Not just for you , but for anyone in general "
"I thought at least you will understand of all people "
"I'm not sorry for not understanding
this "
Another tear escaped from his eye .
I wonder from how long was he holding it all in .
"I thought I changed so bad that I don't deserve you anymore , that's why I acted like a pain in your ass "
I was speechless!
He did all of that purposely just so I'd stay out of him and his mess , if only he knew the actual mess which is stuck with him forever is Me .
I was still disappointed but now was not the right time to make him feel anymore bad about himself, especially after all that he went through .
"First of all , you'll always be a pain in my ass whatsoever .
Second of all , what I don't deserve is your fake side .
Third of all , you were my bestfriend , you are my bestie and you'll always be my bff , you get it ?" I say
"I love you " he says and I know he means it.
I ignore the weird but beautiful feeling which just crept inside me .
"You're lucky , I do too . Also , I'm still pissed " I remind him
"Sorry . It was wrong of me to do so " He apologized sincerely and I was no longer mad .
" So does that mean you didn't leak the video ?"
" I didn't but I tried to find who did it but no luck so far . I just know Oliver didn't because he would have confessed so after our ugly fight "
" You beat him because of me ?"
" Yaa I thought he did it . I was so damn angry that I didn't even question him if he did it or not until he confessed that he doesn't have a clue about it"
" The way you said that you made the clip viral affected me a lot "
" You seriously believed I would do such a thing to you ?"
" No , I didn't . I was upset so my mind said you did it but my heart said otherwise "
He nodded .
For a minute , the reason we were up here was left aside .
" I'm glad you realised what went wrong " I said
He gave me a genuine smile , one which lights up my day but it faded away instantly because he realised the reason which made him so vulnerable in the first place.
"I miss her too , especially mom .
You know , Mom cried almost every night in the initial stage .
Dad avoided going to work just to stay with her" , I said
"I couldn't stay in that place . Almost everything reminded me of her , reminded me of the fact that I will never see her face again .
It was way too hard for me to look at my father , sis and realizing that no matter what I do , I'll never be able to bring their smiles back "
I nodded and thought to myself that a part of him died with her and I'll do whatever it takes to bring it back to life .
"Ro your family needs you and you just being with them is enough for them to be happy "
He nods his head.
"Let's go back" I suggest
" Yaa" he says.
He looks at the stars once again before following me back to his room .
" Where's your roomie?"
" Fed? He's sleeping at Beca's . Even though they are going to do anything but sleep "
I give a faint chuckle .
" So you want to talk about it?" I ask
" About the part where me aka the Royal Miller gets bullied, I don't ,
but you deserve to know "
"Look I understand if you don't want to "
" No , actually I want to "
I nod
" So when I came here, I was way too quiet and sad . You know , mostly kept to myself . Fed and I became friends because we are roomies but still he initially thought I was a shy lad , even though I ain't one"
" Well now I am well aware of that. Then ?"
" Then I kinda got in the way of Oliver . I was way too emotionally tired to fight back and continued getting bullied for quite some time until Fed helped me come back to my senses "
" Why didn't you called me ? One call Royal , I think I deserved to know then "
" I'm sorry . I knew it would make you feel bad and I didn't want you to get anymore sad than you already were "
"At least you could have talked to me once . You blocked me . So I called you from others' cell and as soon as you heard my voice , you ended the call "
"I didn't mean to "
" Then why ?"
" I don't know . I knew if I talked ,
I wouldn't be able to keep things from you and I didn't wanted you to see that side of me "
"Seriously Royal ! We are bestfriends . And I love you no matter what .
And I'm here now , irrespective of your bad or good phase. Also , crying is not a sign of weakness "
"Thanks . Also ... "
" Also?"
" I truly liked you back then as in more than friends type and I had to get over that "
"Oh"
What else could I say , we kissed because we liked each other .
But that was in the past .
He wanted to get over it and he did ,
I guess I didn't !
"So Fed's not that bad " I say
" Nope . And the others as well "
" Whatever makes you sleep at night "
" I know they are a bit out of control . But the only reason they are on your trail is because you slapped me " ,
he chucked at the last part
" You deserved it " I giggled
He gave me a faint smile .
" Ro I think you should get some
sleep "
" I'm not sleepy "
" You look tired"
" I feel tired but if I sleep , then the freaking nightmares !"
" Hey! I'm right here . I'm not going anywhere , do you understand?"
He nodded and said ,
"Thank you Izzy "
" For what ?"
" Everything "
I smiled and give a peck on his cheek .
Suddenly his eyes felt more intense.
He kept his hand on my shoulder and leaned closer . I could feel his warm breathe on my neck .
His lips touched my ( non existent) Jawline and I find my breathing getting heavier .
His other hand caressed my cheek .
He slightly pulled apart and looked at me , while I held a somewhat blank expression because I didn't know how to react . He leaned in and give a slight peck just next to my lips .
" I should sleep " he mumbled
I nodded .
As he laid down , I pulled the rug over him .
I sat beside him while holding his hand until he actually slept .
I called Chris and informed him, that I was staying here for tonight .
After an hour or so , I slept on Fedrick's bed and I thought it was wrong of me to think of him As Fed dick !
Maybe his friends are not that bad as rumours say .
And I tried not to overthink about whatever just happened between us !
---
Next morning,
In the morning , I woke up before Ro did .
So I left without making any noise.
I went back to my room to freshen up and start the day with a fresh start .
I miss you Aunt Summer !
I called Mom and had a really long chat with her .
She also tried to control her tears but at last she couldn't hold it in .
I just wanted to go over there and hug her for as long as I can .
-♡-
Posted on - 23rd March
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