Lydia White
"Lydia, I'm fine." Harry says as I replace the blood soaked bandage on his head for the second time.
"Maybe I should take you to a doctor." I bite my lip in concern. His head was bleeding a lot.
He exhales a small chuckle. "I've been through much worse. I'll be okay."
After the incident with Cody, Harry tried to help me clean the broken glass, but I didn't let him.
Then, thirty minutes ago, he told me he should leave because he'd done enough damage tonight...but the moment he stood up, he nearly collapsed from dizziness.
Cody hit him pretty badly. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a concussion.
As for Cody himself, I have no idea where he went. Nor did I care at the moment...and I felt sort of guilty for not caring, but he has caused me so much pain tonight.
This wasn't just him being drunk and pissed off...this was the him showing his true colours. What I saw tonight was what I failed to see when we were at our best.
I had no intention of reaching out to Cody until he did so first. I was pissed, but I'm not exactly the best at showing it.
I understood where Cody's anger came from, coming home to see me with another guy- who also happens to be my ex boyfriend, but he doesn't have to know that-. But that's no excuse for him to do what he did.
He almost hit me.
If Harry hadn't have shouted, it probably would've happened.
Although, if Cody laid a hand on me with Harry in any sort of proximity, I'm pretty sure Cody's hand would be broken within a few minutes.
I don't know what to do with Harry. He saved me and got hurt in doing so. I cant just let him go home or anything. For all I know he could have a real head injury and not be able to drive. He did plan on spending the night, so I guess that's what's going to happen.
I finished cleaning the mess and then stood in the kitchen area, looking at Harry on the couch.
He still had the ice on his eye and a fresh bandage on his head. His head was resting on the back of the couch and his eyes were pinched shut. I'm guessing it hurt to keep them open.
"Why don't you lay down?" I suggest, knowing he wouldn't be very comfortable sleeping in that position.
He lets out a whine. "M'too tired."
He's the same six foot, tatted child that I knew before.
I roll my eyes at him before walking over and sitting next to him.
He rolls his head over to look at me, and opens his eyes.
"Sorry for keeping you awake." he mumbles.
"I don't care." I say. I wasn't really tired anymore considering everything that's happened.
He takes a deep breath. "Is he always like that?"
I tilt my head in confusion.
"Your boyfriend. Is he always the way I saw him tonight?" he asks in more clarity.
I sigh and rub my temple with my one hand. "No. Tonight was really bad, it was from the start. But he's not always like this."
He looks at me up and down then bites the inside of his cheek. "You know he was going to hit you, right?"
I look down at my lap. "Yeah." I breathe out.
Harry nods and then glances down.
I couldn't help but think about how tonight could've ended so differently.
What if Cody did hit me? Would he have stopped? Is that something he's wanted to do for a while?
What if Harry didn't come back? Would that man have taken me?
What did he want with me?
These questions spinning wildly in my head cane to a sudden halt when I felt Harry's hand on my thigh.
I looked at his hand, then at his face. His eyes were a softened emerald, and his features were tensed, as if he was serious.
"I just want you to be okay."
My lips part, but nothing comes out.
I didn't know how to react.
His lips curl into a sincere, but very soft smile. Not out of happiness, not out of any sort of joy, but almost out of pity, or guilt.
I knew what he meant by what he said. He wanted me to be okay, and he felt like I wasn't okay with being with Cody.
But the fact of the matter is, I don't even know how I feel.
There was a time where everything I did revolved around how I felt for Harry. I loved him more than I had ever loved myself and it became very dangerous...to the point where I'd do anything to keep his love.
The bright side to my pathetic love for him was that he didn't take advantage of it. He didn't even realize how much I loved him. He thought he wasn't worthy of my affection, or anyone's for that matter. But he was. He was more than worthy.
He deserved so much more than what the world gave him.
He wasn't born cold-hearted. He was made that way by evil people. But, there was always that warm, gentle, loving side to him that was only seen by me. He saved all the love inside him for me and tried his best to create more.
So, in all reality...I don't know if I'm okay or not.
I want to be. I want to be able to say that I'm perfectly fine with my life and my job and my boyfriend and my dead ex boyfriend who is not really dead, but I can't.
It feels like I'm going headfirst into a downward spiral. I'm being stalked again, I was almost kidnapped, and my boyfriend has proved himself to be an angry drunk jerk.
"Go to bed. I can tell you're tired." Harry says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"I can stay up with you a little longer." I say, but he shakes his head with a small dimpled smile.
"No. You've had a long night." he gestures toward my bedroom.
I sigh and nod. "Okay." I stand up.
He slowly positions himself into a laying position on the couch, with his head resting on the pillow I gave him and his arm covering his eyes.
I look at him for a moment and find myself smiling.
"Goodnight, Harry."
"Goodnight, Lyds."
I shut the lights off and walk to my bedroom, leaving him on the couch.
Tonight was easily one of the most conflicting ones I've had in a while, but I'm sure we'll work it out in the morning.
//
*9 am, the next morning*
I woke up to the sun shining through my window. Today was weirdly bright, considering it was October and normally it was foggy and grey this time of year.
I slowly got up from my bed and rubbed my eyes. I didn't have the best sleep, I was tossing and turning most of the night.
I didn't know if Harry was awake or not, so I quietly crept out of my room because I didn't want to wake him if he was asleep.
But to my surprise, there was nothing but an empty couch in my living room.
Harry wasn't here.
The blankets he slept in were folded neatly on my couch with the pillow resting on top.
He must have left while I was sleeping.
I look around, confused as to how he snuck out so quietly, and my eyes land on a piece of paper on my kitchen counter.
I walk over to it and pick it up. It was a letter from Harry.
"Thanks for your help last night. Sorry I caused so much trouble. Take care of yourself.
-Harry."
It was so vague and open ended that I couldn't even process it.
He made it sound like a goodbye. Take care of myself? What was that supposed to mean?
I couldn't help but feel in the pit of my stomach that I would never see him again...
//
the chapters will start getting longer and more interesting now, stay tuned! we're just getting started.
love you!! xoxo