luke had tried on every combination of every piece of clothing he owned and nothing looked good enough.
he couldn't wear his band t shirts and ripped jeans to a ballet showcase.
he couldn't turn up to a beautiful venue, with a beautiful stage, to see a beautiful dance danced by a beautiful ballerina wearing the same clothes he wore to every day.
he'd look dirty and out of place, and if she noticed him in the crowd it would be for all the wrong reasons, and that was the last thing luke wanted.
now he'd fully realised the extent of his feelings for lola - feelings that extended beyond wanting to spend the night or two with her. feelings that involved wanting to be back at her house, watching films with her again.
feelings that he couldn't stop fucking thinking about.
***
luke sat on his bed, looking down at the white shirt in his hands.
he'd found it at the back of his drawers, creased to the point of looking like discarded tissue paper rather than an actual shirt.
so he put it in the wash, and hung it out on one of the few hangers he owned to make sure it would dry without creases. two hours later; it had finally dried, and he had come full circle.
the shirt looked a little small. he was truthfully terrified of it not fitting, because he didn't have the money to buy another. rent had virtually wiped him out - he needed to win another fight within the next few days or he wouldn't be able to get himself any food.
luke realised his mind was wandering, and shook his head, tugging off his green day t shirt and pulling the white button up over his shoulders.
he breathed a sigh of relief when all the buttons did up easily, standing up to view himself in the mirror. it was tighter than it should've been around his shoulders and arms, but as he surveyed himself in the mirror he realised that probably made it look better if anything. if he was going to wear a white shirt, at least he'd look good in it.
and lola would see.
***
"our seats are just along here." ashton studied his ticket closely, and led the group through to the middle of the row, all of them shuffling awkwardly until they reached their seats - which were right in the middle of the theatre.
"we always sit here." calum said to like as they sat down. "it's got the best view."
luke just nodded, a dry feeling starting to take over his throat when he checked the time and saw it was almost six and the showcase would be starting soon.
the stage was framed by heavy, red velvet curtains, and a water-coloured forest backdrop set whatever scene they were going for. luke had never been to any sort of dance showcase before, but this looked pretty high budget to him.
the soft lights around the theatre started to dim, and luke inadvertently sat up a little straighter, biting his lower lip slightly and wondering why the fuck he suddenly felt so nervous - he wasn't even the one dancing.
orchestral music started playing from somewhere - luke wasn't quite sure where - and the lights shone slightly brighter as four dancers made their way onstage.
he could see her immediately.
she was the second in line - he knew that because she had the darkest hair out of all of them.
she moved across the stage, in perfect unison with the other three dancers, but to luke she was somehow infinitely more graceful.
his eyes stayed fixated on her as she danced, watching the white tulle sway around her thighs and how intricate every movement was.
he just couldn't look away.
but the two minutes that had felt like a lifetime were suddenly up, and luke felt his heart sink slightly as they left the stage, applauding limply along with everyone else.
he knew the showcase wouldn't be that short, but his face fell at the thought of lola not returning to the stage. he couldn't quite comprehend how good she was, and all he really wanted was to watch her dance forever.
the next few numbers passed by in a blur; every dancer was amazing - but none of them were lola.
his back curved and slumped back into his seat, the feeling of missing lola growing and growing, making his stomach twist and his throat tighten up slightly.
until she came back and he could breathe again.
she was dressed in black feathers, and luke's breath halted slightly at the sight of her soft lips painted deep red.
the music started; she pushed forward into the light and began her second performance of the night.
she was onstage alone, and luke noticed the whole group tense up and lean forwards slightly; michael's fingers interlinking with bella's.
luke's throat was completely dry, and he swore he hadn't blinked in way too long. he'd never seen lola look so mature, so in control. she moved with a ferocity and energy that seemed to match his when he was in the ring, and yet she still looked so beautiful and elegant to him.
everything she did was almost mechanically perfect; his trance only broken when he noticed the group starting to count quietly as she entered a sequence of turns.
like a whirlwind onstage, she kept turning, and they all kept counting; leaning forward in anticipation and making luke slightly nervous.
he'd never been to a ballet showcase before and wasn't entirely sure what to expect, or why his friends had suddenly grown so tense.
"32!" ashton cheered softly, as her turns slowed to a halt and the group sat back in their seats with happy expressions.
"32 what man?" luke whispered, his gaze still focused on lola.
"that dance has 32 turns in it. it's like, super hard according to lola. she always gets really nervous about it." ashton explained, receiving only a nod in response.
lola's dance came to an end, and she broke into a wide smile, curtsying before she exited the stage and the lights started to come up.
"let's go see her!" calum cheered, practically leaping out of his seat.
"is the show over?" luke asked ashton lowly, not wanting everyone to know how inexperienced he was with attending formal events.
"no man, it's just the interval, so we get to see lola for a bit before she dances again." ashton explained, smiling.
luke's chest constricted slightly at the prospect of seeing her, and all he could do in response was nod; too preoccupied with what he would say to her when he saw her - the feelings swirling in his chest wouldn't allow him to be so blunt to her anymore.
***
lola pulled her robe around herself, grabbing a makeup wipe and removing her dark lipstick quickly, being careful not to smudge into her foundation.
her entire body felt like it was buzzing slightly - the dances were going well - and she was just waiting for her friends to burst through the door.
of course she hadn't missed the fact that luke was in the audience.
in a white shirt, looking positively godlike, she felt her cheeks flush slightly at the mental image.
he was watching her - really watching her. she noticed his eyes following her across the stage and it made the pit of her stomach feel warm and kind of tight. she knew her friends would be here any minute and she hoped to god luke had decided to come with them.
"you're amazing!" a shrill scream echoed through the small room, and before lola could even notice her in the mirror, bella's arms were wrapped tightly around her, rocking her back and forth quickly.
"who did 32 spins? lola did 32 spins!" ashton cheered, leaping into the dressing room, his landing echoing in the small space.
bella stayed attached to her as the other boys filed in, excitedly congratulating her on how well the showcase was going.
luke was the last time enter the room, his softer-than-usual expression not going unnoticed by lola.
he caught her eye in the mirror and smiled, making her heart clench up inside her chest.
"you have another number right?" calum asked, fixing his hair in the mirror and winking at himself.
"yeah, i have the duet with matthew." lola opened the programme that was laying on her dressing table and pointed at their closing number.
'the middle of the world'
a contemporary ballet duet
danced by matthew ariti & lola hendricks
choreographed by lola hendricks
"you choreographed it?" luke's low voice stood out against the high pitched excitement of the rest of the group, and lola's spine straightened as she felt him lean over her shoulder to look at the programme.
"y-yeah. it's my first time choreographing, and our first time dancing it." she all but whispered, tilting the programme so he could read it better.
"oh." he nodded slightly, rereading her name and noticing how she smelled faintly like lavender.
"you were really good, by the way." her lips inadvertently twitched into a smile as she looked down at her lap - she'd never heard his voice sound so soft.
"thank you. and - thank you for coming." she smiled up at him, and when he smiled back she swore her heart grew about three sizes.
***
luke had sat through at least another hour of dances - they were all amazing but he was getting anxious for lola to come out again.
the boys had invited everyone back to their apartment after for celebratory drinks, and her number was the closing number; he just wanted to see her dance one more time, before being able to spend the rest of the night drinking with her.
he clapped as the two guys onstage bowed, mentally crossing his fingers and hoping to see lola onstage again.
luke's prayers were answered when he saw the small girl virtually glide onstage for the last time.
lola was standing beside a boy who was about a head taller than her; dressed in the same shades of white and blue that she was, that looked blinding against his darker skin.
luke stifled a childish grin after deciding that his arms were definitely bigger than the boy's onstage.
their music started; low violins sounding through the speakers and bringing the dancers to life.
this dance somehow seemed different from her previous two. maybe it was because it was entirely her own, luke wasn't quite sure.
both dancer's movements were fluid beyond belief, but of course luke was only focused on lola.
the music began to build as he felt his chest tighten up; feeling slightly overwhelmed at the sudden influx of even more feelings towards the small girl dancing onstage.
she was in the air now, only held up by her partners hands on her hips, and luke wanted to shout down at him and tell him to be careful because she was so tiny out there onstage.
violin music swirled around him, echoing through his ears and her movements became faster; more frantic and now luke's chest was caving in on itself slightly.
it kept building, and lola began to turn again, catching luke's eye every time she looked out into the audience, his eyes beginning to glaze over and fill with water at the sheer amount of emotion in her eyes.
she stopped turning; she leapt into the air and seemed to fly for a moment before landing once again in her partners hands, and a tear broke free and took residency on luke's cheeks. he was transfixed.
the music began to soften and the dancers movements became smaller; slower, before they both stopped completely, taking a moment to breathe before bowing and exiting the stage with large smiles on their faces.
luke wiped his cheek hurriedly as the lights went up, and followed the rest of his friends out in the the foyer.
***
"dude, that was so cool, i'm so jacked on ballet right now man!" calum grinned excitedly, unbuttoning his top button and ruffling his hair into its natural curls from the more formal style it had been in.
"lola should be out soon, then we can drive back to your guys' place?" bella has michael's black denim jacked draped over her shoulders, and she pulled it closer around herself the closer they got to the door and the cold night air.
"well we can go in my car, and since there's not enough seats luke can go in with lola?" luke couldn't have missed michael's shit-eating grin if he tried, but was slightly confused at bella's.
still, he nodded in an attempt to be casual.
"lola!" bella's scream ricocheted off the walls and hit luke in the back of the head, the high frequency making him wince.
ashton dragged him into the group hug that had formed, and luke just allowed his arms to awkwardly rest on calum and ashton's backs, breathing a sign of relief when they separated.
he still wasn't quite used to how affectionate the boys were in public.
"okay." michael clapped his hands. "i'll drive the four of us back, and luke's going in with you lola."
luke felt his expression morph into one of utter shock, mortified at michael's blunt delivery.
now she's going to think you asked to go with her you absolute fucking weirdo-
"oh! yeah sure." lola smiled up at him; and if he wasn't mistaken a light blush covered her newly washed cheeks. "i'm just going to say bye to matthew then we can go?"
luke nodded, dumbfounded, and watched her hug her dance partner tightly before returning to the group.
"let's get going then." calum grinned, not so subtly slapping luke on the back as they left.
"my car's parked just down the road." lola said softly, looking up at luke through a thick row of lashes.
he swallowed down a lump that was quickly forming in his throat and nodded again.
"lead the way."
***
"do you uh-like, want me to drive? since you're probably tired and stuff." the words left luke's mouth in a jumbled mess, and he felt his hands clam up as lola turned to look at him in surprise.
"oh, are you sure? that would actually be really nice, thank you." her response instantly put him at ease, and he took the keys out of her hand, unlocking the car and opening the door for her.
she slid in with a quiet murmur of thanks and and barely concealed smile, a smile luke managed to catch before he walked round to the drivers side of the car.
"your car your music?" luke said casually, pulling the seatbelt across his chest.
lola quickly passed the aux cord back to him, shaking her head quickly.
"no, you're driving, you can choose." she insisted.
"i don't mind." in a bold move, he placed his hand over hers, and gently pushed the aux cord back towards her - god he'd missed how warm her hands were.
lola was left slightly speechless because god she'd missed how strong his hands were. so she just nodded with a flustered smile, and plugged her phone in, quickly choosing thirteen by big star and hoping luke would like it as much as she did.
they pulled out into the quiet night, soft yellow lights from shops and cafes that were still open washing over them.
lola shuffled in her seat, eventually becoming more comfortable and leaning her head back on her seat, allowing her eyes to relax and close slightly.
luke glanced over at her, his hands tightening on the wheel, and he cursed himself for not being able to relax like she was.
he coughed under his breath, desperately trying to loosen his throat enough to talk to her, to say literally anything.
"you were really good tonight." it was simple, but when he saw the smile it brought to her face he felt like he'd recited a shakespearean sonnet.
"thank you. it was really nice you came - did you enjoy it?" lola sat up a little straighter, the familiar feeling of anxiety beginning to crawl up her spine at the thought of him not enjoying the showcase.
"i really did." god his smile could replace the sun.
"this is a nice song too." luke added quickly, and lola smiled even wider; queuing up another that she thought he'd enjoy and beginning to wish the car ride was longer.
"it's one of my favourites. it's from that 70s show?"
"i've never seen it." luke admitted, slowing the car to a stop as they approached a saturated red light.
"you've never seen it?" lola gasped, turning quickly to face him. "but it's so good!"
"what's it about?" the red light drenched their car, making lola's eyes appear even darker and god luke would've been happy to just drown in them.
"it's just about these kids in the seventies, but it's so funny and sweet. you should watch it." what lola really meant was he should watch it with her.
"maybe i will." luke countered quietly, his heart beating harder as the red light switched to green and and he realised he would have to share her with everyone for the rest of the night.
and yes, luke knew how selfish it was to wish for the car ride to last forever, but he really didn't care.
"what's your favourite show?" lola asked curiously, pushing her hair behind her ears.
"probably breaking bad. i haven't really watched any others."
"luke!" he swore he'd never heard anything as sweet as his name in her voice. "everyone's seen breaking bad! you need to expand your show watching, there's so many good ones."
"i've seen friends too." he couldn't contain the laugh that escaped his mouth at lola's genuinely shocked tone.
"but everyone's seen friends too. you need to find your niche show, one that's more special to you." they pulled up outside of the boy's apartment building, and sat quietly for a moment, until luke turned the car off and the spell was broken.
the sounds of a glass shattering over deafening guitar solos rang through their ears the moment they stepped onto the street.
"i see they've had no problem starting the party." lola remarked, giving luke a slightly crooked smile in a weak attempt to prolong her time alone with him.
and, unknown to her, luke felt the exact same way.
and when their hands brushed on the way to the front door, there was nothing he wanted more than to hold onto hers.
***
it was almost two in the morning and luke had no idea how he'd managed to get so drunk.
he could barely walk in a straight line, and his words came out more stumbled than his footsteps.
he had intended to drive lola home, he really had, but under michael's influence, he was now barely capable of even saying his name.
and now, slumped on the sofa and watching lola walk into the kitchen, luke was struggling to stay awake.
an early session of training awaited him the next morning, and as if it preempted how exhausted he'd be, his body was trying its best to make him go to sleep.
"ah, luke man, we're so gone." calum laughed, tumbling into luke's lap and spilling his drink all over himself.
"where is mister michael?" ashton demanded from the kitchen, holding his beer bottle with both hands and chugging from it in a borderline aggressive manner.
"him and bella disappeared like years ago man, get with the program." calum threw up a clumsy peace sign and burst into hysterical laughter.
"i think you two should disappear to bed too. calum ashton don't you have work tomorrow?" lola was leaning against the wall and smiling at all three boys, and at the sight of her luke really wished his body would let him stand up, or at least acknowledge her somewhat.
"yes." ashton deadpanned, finishing his beer and hanging the empty bottle to calum, who began to study it curiously. "so i will be going to bed now."
he strutted out of the room, and calum rolled onto the floor, beginning to groan.
"oh no no, to the bathroom with you." lola rushed forward quickly, pulling one of calum's arms up and wrapping it around her shoulders.
luke managed to heave himself out of the sofa that he'd practically melted into, and clumsily copied lola's actions, both of them pulling the groaning boy upright and all but dragging him into the bathroom.
the moment calum got hold of the toilet he coughed up practically everything he had eaten that day, making both luke and lola wince slightly.
"i'll get him a glass of water and some painkillers and then i can take you home? i haven't been drinking tonight." luke wasn't sure if his reflexes had dramatically slowed down or if lola had dramatically sped up, but either way, she had already left the room before he could summon up a response.
she returned shortly, with a glass of water and two painkillers - and one of the pillows from their sofa, which she rested gently between his head and the toilet seat.
"okay." she turned to luke and smiled, pulling her jacket over her shoulders. "let's go."
***
"i'm going to have to ask you to remind me where you live - i'm not all that great with directions i'm afraid-" lola stopped short when she noticed luke virtually passed out in the passenger seat, quiet snores escaping his lips.
she sat back in her seat for a moment, absentmindedly biting her lip as she considered her options.
she couldn't possibly drag him all the way up the three flights of stairs separating them from the boy's apartment - she didn't have a key anyway.
she couldn't remember where he lived, and was much too tired to possibly drive around trying to find it, let alone have to find luke's key and make sure he got in okay.
she could let him sleep on her sofa?
maybe her bed would've been the nicer option, but lola was exhausted and aching, and had been looking forward to getting in bed for the entire day - and she wasn't quite prepared to give that up.
she realised that out of all her options, the latter was the only realistic one she had, and unbuckled her belt, leaning over luke carefully and pulling his seatbelt across him, buckling it as quietly as she could before doing her own up again and beginning to drive towards her house.
***
lola managed to help luke into her apartment fairly easily - he managed to dredge up enough energy to walk in a vaguely straight line.
he collapsed onto the sofa almost immediately, his crooked legs dangling off of the edge and the soft snores beginning again.
lola rubbed her eyes for a moment, not having realised until the car journey just how tired she was. she crouched down and unlatched luke's vans carefully; pulling each shoe off and laying them bedside the sofa, before lifting his legs up onto the sofa.
lola breathed a sigh of relief when he stayed quietly asleep, taking the opportunity to grab one of the blankets from her bedroom and drape it over him.
after a moment of consideration, she decided to get a bucket to place on the floor beside his head - he had drunk a lot and she wasn't willing to take any risks. a couple of painkillers and glass of water on the coffee table in front of him completed the scene, and lola sank down into her favourite armchair, pulling her phone out to let bella know she got home safe.
as she was typing, she felt her eyes become heavier and heavier, her grip on her phone becoming weaker until it fell onto her lap, and she finally succumbed to the sleep she'd been needing all day.
hello!
i'm excited that we've FINALLY reached romantic territory
it was so hard to not fuck up the pacing on purpose just to get there sooner lmao
thank you to all of you who have been voting/commenting/adding to your reading lists, it really does mean the world to me <3
ALSO!!!
if anyone is wondering, the song i envisioned for lola's last dance (the duet), it's called The Middle of The World from the Moonlight soundtrack & is the MOST BEAUTIFUL song i've ever heard - i would really recommend listening to it while reading through the duet section just to get a feel
again thank you all sm and i shall endeavor to get the next chapter done as soon as possible :)))