pink plasters brightening up bruised hands wasn't the worst thing for luke to wake up to.
and he'd never admit it, but lola was right. they were kind of pretty.
seeing them made him hesitate before his training. did he really want to mess up a sweet gesture by boxing without gloves and fucking up his hands worse?
the image of her smile crossed his mind - the tiny crinkles that appeared at the edges of her eyes, the tiniest gap between her two front teeth, and just how inexplicably soft her lips looked.
so he pulled his worn gloves over his fists, circling the punchbag and taking quick jabs at it.
luke knew he was good, but he also knew how much practice had gone into becoming so good - and how much more he needed to do to maintain it.
boxing put luke in a strange headspace.
he wasn't the most approachable or friendly person at the best of times. but boxing completely shut him down.
he didn't want to see, speak to, or even think about anything or anyone else aside from what he was hitting. it was scary how at home he felt when he felt that way.
luke started boxing when he was fifteen - seven and a half years ago. he started in the midst of a sudden influx of youthful rage; a rage that came all at once and much too quickly.
he was fifteen, and alone and angry at everything and everyone in the world. he barely attended school, and no matter how hard michael, ashton and calum tried to talk to him, he couldn't seem to manage speaking without bursting out in a fit of rage.
his first fight he almost killed his opponent.
he could still remember the feeling of his fists pummeling the bruised flesh; the blood that was splattered across him; the feeling of being pulled off and seeing a paramedic rush into the ring; his own breathing echoing in his ears as time slowed to a halt.
it was the quietest he'd ever heard a crowd - no one was screaming or cheering. they just stared, with bated breath and terrified eyes, watching as the paramedic scrambled to perform cpr on the man who was twice luke's size, laying unconscious on the floor.
bathed in his own blood.
luke shook his head free from the memory, realising how tense and angry it made him to simply think about it.
he paused for a moment, allowing his breathing to slow from it's ragged pace and trying his best to relax himself - even his eyebrows had knotted tightly together.
his shoulders dropped, and he let his head hang back, closing his eyes as they came into contact with the harsh lights, a momentary headache washing over him for a second - only a second.
the youthful anger had re-emerged in a terrifying wave - he hadn't had such a vivid memory of that night in years.
he wasn't even sure why it had come now, but he wanted it gone as soon as possible.
luke pulled his gloves off roughly, a few plasters coming off with them. the one on his face remained intact, however, and he brushed his fingers over it momentarily when he caught his reflection in the mirror.
a low growl of frustration left his lips when he saw the tiny amount of water in his bottle - he'd forgotten to fill it on his way downstairs. his knuckles felt like they were going to rip through the dressing, and luke took a deep breath to attempt to calm himself once again.
he really didn't want to go upstairs and face those horrific fluorescent lights and the bright, beaming smiles of the personal trainers and their huffing, puffing clients. the bright colours of the posters was borderline nauseating, and luke had never been less in the mood to be around people.
but he also knew he needed water, and grabbed his bottle moodily, dragging his feet slightly on the steps in a half-hearted effort to prolong his alone time.
***
god luke really felt like he'd de-aged about five years when even the sight of a poster advertising yoga classes made his jaw clench in annoyance.
just get the water and go back downstairs.
that didn't sound so difficult, but when he noticed a familiar face had beaten him to the water dispenser, he realised this day was out to punish him.
all he wanted was a quiet day of working out and being alone. but all he got was painfully gory memories of things he'd been regretting for years and the seemingly inescapable presence of a certain ballet dancer.
of course she saw him.
of course luke couldn't get away with just filling his water bottle and going downstairs. of course she smiled and like always, he didn't return it.
"fancy seeing you here." her voice was unbelievably soft, and luke felt his fists relaxing as she spoke.
"yeah." was all he mustered as a reply, beginning to fill his water bottle.
"i see some of your plasters have come off." he suddenly felt incredibly self conscious under her gaze, well aware that while she looked put together and perfect, he looked tired and sweaty and annoyed.
"yeah."
"are you at least training with gloves this time?" there it was, that same cheeky smile, the rare display of confidence that made the pit of luke's stomach twist.
but there was still the ache of anger left from his earlier recollections, and nothing seemed to ease it entirely.
"yeah." it barely even sounded like a word to him anymore, he'd said it way too much.
"maybe if you're still training i could come watch? and then we can fix your plaster situation?" behind her proposition, there was a definite vulnerability - it was evident in her eyes.
they flickered over his face quickly, praying to find a softness, a friendly reassurance that she wasn't making a fool of herself. the light behind her eyes dimmed slightly when his eyebrows remained locked in a frown, and she glanced away momentarily.
luke heaved a sigh, already feeling like a dick, and not willing to continue being one - not entirely at least.
"sure, i'm downstairs." he screwed the lid back on the bottle after taking a large swig from it, not missing the happy smile that pulled at the small girl's cheeks.
"lead the way!"
***
"oh wow, it's so much. . .darker down here." lola stared around the room - it reminded her an awful lot of the arena his matches took place in.
luke grunted in response to her statement, picking up a pair of gloves.
he turned and held them out to her, a look of surprise taking over her features.
"for me?" she took the gloves in her small hands and slipping them on carefully.
"yeah." luke tugged his own, worn out gloves on roughly. "we're going to box."
the expression of fear on her face was unmissable, and for a moment, luke felt slightly hurt that she'd be so scared to do something with him.
"i-you're going to be like-swinging at me?" lola stumbled over her words messily, feeling her cheeks heat up under him scrutinizing gaze.
"no. i'm going to teach you how to hit." she still looked nervous, and he felt a mixture of hurt and annoyance at her apparent lack of trust in him. "i wouldn't hurt you."
"i know." her reply was almost instantaneous, as if she knew what he'd been thinking.
they stood in silence for a moment, just staring into each other. lola was the one to break the tension.
"so, boxing?" she pounded her gloves together and smiled up at luke - who couldn't help but take in how adorable she looked. he'd never have told her though.
he made his way into the ring, gesturing for her to follow, which she did. they stood, separated by the punchbag, and for the first time, luke made the first move.
"you've got to stand like this. on your guard." he lifted her arms up as nicely as he could with massive boxing gloves on, and positioned her fists in front of her face. "protect your face."
"protect the moneymaker. i get you." luke bit his tongue to keep from actively smiling at her cheesy joke, but a slight smirk pulled at his lips before he could stop it, only making lola smile wider.
and he couldn't really deny her logic; joke or not. he'd kind of hate to see a face as pretty as hers get hurt.
"yeah." was the standard he settled for - a standard he was getting tired of when it came to her. she always seemed to make so much more effort than he did, and luke was really starting to feel like he was lacking.
so he changed the subject.
"stay on the balls of your feet, be prepared to move." he advised, watching in slightly amusement at how into boxing lola already seemed to be.
she pressed her lips together in focus, studying his stance, before averting her gaze to her own and quickly correcting any differences.
her tongue peeked out from behind her lips, and she bounced slightly on her feet - like an overexcitable child.
and god if it wasn't adorable.
"now you just-" rather than describe, luke simply demonstrated by sending a swift punch to the bag. it was far from his best, but he still managed to move the heavy bag, startling lola enough that she jumped back, her eyes growing somehow wider than they had previously been - to the point that luke was vaguely terrified they'd roll right out her head.
she regained herself quickly, mentally kicking herself for being so easily startled by someone punching a punchbag in boxing training. hoping luke hadn't noticed her shock, she resumed position and edged tentatively closer to the bag.
"so i just-" her punch was feeble, hurting her more than the bag. lola shook her arm to get rid of the unpleasant sensation, an unconscious pout taking over her features.
"you've got to twist as you extend. so the back of your hand is facing the ceiling." luke's voice had slowly grown more friendly, and lola smiled brightly up at him, nodding.
"i can do that." she grinned, once again in the position luke showed her, before delivering another - slightly less feeble - blow to the punchbag.
"it makes my arm feel weird and tingly." lola giggled, shaking her arm out exaggeratedly; hoping to encourage luke's newfound friendliness.
it worked, and he smiled down at her, a small smile, but still a smile.
"yeah, that can happen at first. you're just not used to it." he explained, jabbing the punchbag a few more times - but careful not to hit it so hard it would bump the small girl.
"maybe i should leave the boxing to the pros." lola had already taken off her gloves, placing them carefully on one of the benches beside the lockers. it was fun doing something with luke, and seeing him in his element without having to worry about someone breaking his bones - but she still ached a bit and wasn't willing to risk anything going wrong for the showcase.
"maybe." he continued to box, and she watched, stretching her legs on the side of the ring. the ropes weren't quite as sturdy as barres, but for stretching, they worked. she rested her ankle of the first rope, bending down low before bringing herself back up, her arm raised elegantly above her head.
luke continued to box, sending occasional glances down at the small girl stretching, wanting to make sure she wasn't getting bored.
but she was content; they both were.
existing in their little downstairs paradox; the ballerina stretching and the boxer boxing, they were happy, they were in their elements and coexisting calmly.
but there was always the calm before the storm.
"so." lola took her leg down, standing in first position and leaning delicately on the rope, her dark eyes inquisitive and wide. "how did you get into boxing?"
her heartbeat slowed as she noticed something in luke switch.
he froze, his face hardening. his eyebrows drew together lowly over his eyes, to the point where the blue of his irises appeared almost black. his entire body was tense, poised for attack, and when he turned towards lola, she really wished she'd kept her mouth shut.
they moved like predator and prey; she stepped back as he advanced towards her, his shadow leaving her in darkness.
"why the fuck would you ask that?" lola bristled slightly at the rudeness of his statement, but she was much too nervous to even begin to tell him to stop.
"why don't you go back upstairs, and keep your nose out of my fucking business, and keep your leg off my fucking rope." he practically spat the words at her, not caring at all about how terrified she looked.
he felt young and angry and vulnerable all at once, and it was her question that had brought these simmering feelings back to the surface and set the match that ignited them.
lola backed away towards her bag, picking it up and blinking furiously to rid her eyes of the building tears.
she wasn't sure what she'd said wrong, but surely it wasn't so awful that he had to bite her head off like that?
hugging her bag to her chest as a lifeline of comfort, she didn't even try to think of something to say to luke, simply running upstairs.
she exited the gym quickly, sending weak smiles to anyone who caught her eye on her way out.
it was only when lola got into her car that she allowed herself a moment to cry.
sitting alone in her car, wrapped in the huge hoodie she always kept in her gym bag, lola let her tears wet her cheeks, the feeling of vulnerability and upset from luke's verbal attack still not gone quite yet.
but with a sniff, she pulled herself together, dampening the cuffs of her hoodie with the remaining tears and putting on some more upbeat music to drive home to.
***
luke was still downstairs; still frozen at the edge of the ring; still staring at the doorway that lola had left through.
youthful anger had left as soon as the door slammed, and he was hit with the adult feelings of being a total dick.
it was like he couldn't stop himself.
it was like his first fight - all he felt was anger, and he barely registered the effects it had on whoever else was in the room. at least not until it was too late.
his hands, still confined in boxing gloves, hung heavily by his sides, and he felt like a magnetic force was dragging his body down into the ground - probably straight to hell where he felt he deserved to be at that moment.
he felt worse than when he was fifteen. he felt worse than when he almost killed a man, all because he was the reason, once again, for the tears decorating those freckled cheeks.
writing this is becoming so discouraging because it feel so fruitless publishing a chapter that never gets as many reads as the introduction seems to rip
but i have this whole thing planned out and ANOTHER idea for a fic so it's hardly like i can stop now lmao