"tighter! i'm not seeing the lines i want to be seeing ladies! move together, don't give me fake cohesion!" for such a tiny woman, rachel had a positively booming voice.
and if that wasn't intimidating enough, she was the creative director of the studio. the absolute number one.
her list of credentials was long and distinguished, and despite being fifty two, her posture and technique was leaps ahead of any other ballerina.
she always strove for absolute perfection, and while lola appreciated that, her body really didn't.
her muscles were aching, and every inch of her was covered in sweat - she'd need at least five ice baths to ever recover.
as the music drew to a close, rachel gave a small nod.
"very good today ladies. a little rusty, but a few more practices and you'll be back at the top in no time. this piece will be in the showcase, and i have no doubt you'll all be ready. thank you girls."
the other three girls thanked her quietly, leaving with shaking legs.
lola felt her heartbeat speed up slightly as rachel approached her. despite being on fairly friendly terms with her, nobody could deny how intimidating rachel was.
"it's good to have you in practice again lola. i hear your beginners classes are going very well."
lola's cheeks flushed pink at the compliment, and she smiled at the mention of the twice weekly class she had been given the permanent position of teaching.
"thank you, it's good to be back. i'm really enjoying teaching the classes, the kids are so sweet." seeing rachel's perfectly made-up face was making lola hyper aware of the fact she was drenched in sweat and still panting slightly.
in her defense, their practice had been five hours of intensive dancing, not to mention the stretching and warm-ups that had preceded it.
"good. now i know you already have your own choreographed duet in the showcase, but i was conferring with jonathon, and we both felt that your black swan solo deserves to be included in this showcase. we wanted to position the dance we just rehearsed as the show opener, the black swan solo as the last dance before intermission and your own choreographed duet with matthew as the closing number." lola swallowed thickly at rachel's proposition. it was a massive honour to not only have two solos, but to have one closing the showcase?
a showcase with talent agents, investors and some of the creative heads of the most prestigious ballet schools in the country?
she couldn't quite wrap her head around it.
"oh my gosh i - thank you so much rachel, that's a massive honour." rachel smiled warmly, and took lola's hand between her own.
"you deserve it my dear. this studio is free for the rest of the day if you want to practice at all - just don't work yourself too hard."
"i won't." they exchanged smiles, and rachel exited gracefully, pulling the door shut behind herself.
lola turned towards the mirror, shaking her ankles and rolling her neck.
"thirty two fouettes." she mumbled, wanting to cry at the sheer thought of having to perform the turns again.
she turned to grab her water bottle from her open bag on the floor, taking a few, well-deserved sips before discarding it again.
"thirty two fouettes." lola ran her hands down her face, staring at herself in the mirror. "well, you better get practicing then."
with what little strength she had left, lola began her turns.
and after twenty seven, she felt her body giving up, and stumbled out of position.
frustrated, lola clenched her jaw tightly, and without giving herself even a second to rest, she began the turns again.
twenty eight this time.
better, but not good enough for her.
so she kept going, ignoring her bodies incessant cries for her to stop. she ignored everything, going against her better judgement and continuing to practice.
an hour and a half later, she had performed the thirty two fouettes twice - just to be sure it wasn't a fluke. she still had a couple of weeks to practice, she'd be fine.
completely out of breath and shaking all over, lola finally allowed herself to breathe. she lay down on the floor, not even moving to stretch, and cried.
not out of frustration or sadness, or any emotion. she was purely exhausted and worn out, and so she cried.
lola didn't even have the energy to actually cry. she just let the tears fall down her face, staying on the ground until she felt steady enough to stand and call a taxi to take her home.
***
"bella i really don't know. i'd love to see everyone, but i ache so much from earlier. i'm still walking shaky."
lola had been sitting in an ice bath for ten minutes - the whole time on call to bella, who was desperately trying to persuade her to go out with her and the boys to whatever plans they had for the night.
"but the boys miss you lola! you don't have to come out for drinks afterwards, just come to the match for a bit."
"match?" lola's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"luke has a match tonight, we're all going."
lola hummed in consideration, the last match they went to replaying in her mind.
"well - when does it start?"
"at nine - i'll pick you up and drive you, and i'll drive you home."
lola giggled at her friend's unrelenting bargaining. "why do you want me to come so badly?"
"because luke will be there. and you got all blushy last time you talked about him, and if it seems like there's potential for something, you should at least see? for me at the very least."
"ohh, for you and not myself? how charming."
"well of course for yourself, but you don't ever put yourself out there lola. you're a gorgeous girl, he's a gorgeous guy, just come and see what happens. i think if you give it time he could end up being really great."
lola felt her cheeks heat up slightly at the thought. she couldn't deny how attractive she found luke, or the butterflies she felt in her stomach when she was talking to him.
she still knew almost nothing about him, but maybe it couldn't hurt to go to his match?
"i'll come to the match, but i really shouldn't come out. the showcase is in just under two weeks."
"and we'll all have our tickets. i'll see you at nine then. i love you."
"i love you too." the line went dead, and with a sigh, lola stood up tentatively and wrapped herself in a towel.
she stepped in front of the mirror, letting the rolling stones fill her bathroom. in the corner of the counter was her rarely used makeup bag.
lola eyed it, contemplating. she usually reserved makeup for shows, unless it was the minimal amount of mascara and lip balm she wore everyday. her lack of makeup was for no other reason than the fact she was usually training or teaching, and would likely sweat it off anyway.
but tonight, she felt like making an effort. so she pulled out the various items that were stuffed into the bag, and laid them out in front of her, pursing her lips and surveying them as she decided what she actually felt like doing.
blush and highlighter of course. only a tiny bit, but it made her skin look so much healthier and more awake. and if there was one thing lola wasn't feeling at that moment, it was awake.
she left her eyebrows be - they looked bushy enough to her without the addition of anything else. a thin line of eyeliner, mascara and of course, lip balm completed her minimalist look.
a glance at the clock told her it was already eight thirty, and with bella being as punctual as she always was, lola scrambled to find clothes for the night.
as if fated, right as she was pulling her converse on, aggressive knocking echoed through her apartment.
"shoes!" lola yelled as a response, lacing them up as quickly as she could, before opening the door to reveal bella - looking poised and polished.
lola pouted internally at the thought of everyone seeing her next to bella. it felt like being a sad little stray dog tagging along after a supermodel.
"i see somebody's finally used the eyeliner i got her for her birthday." bella's eyes flickered over lola's face with a mischievous glint. "were we hoping to talk to a certain attractive boxer tonight?"
lola huffed indignantly as she followed her friend out to her car. she hated that bella always knew everything.
"not necessarily. i just felt like making an effort tonight." she objected weakly, not entirely believing her own words as she buckled her seatbelt.
"oh yeah." bella teased, starting the car. "sure you just felt like making an effort."
***
lola had honestly never anticipated re-entering the boxing arena. it was still dark and loud and scary, and yet there she was.
standing with bella and the boys, at the very front of the crowd, in the process of being deafened by at least a couple hundred very boisterous fans. the air felt dense, and the referee stepping into the ring, ready to announce the fight - and suddenly all lola wanted to do was go home.
but then luke was stepping into the ring, and he had that look in his eyes again - where they looked dark and angry, his eyebrows drawn together and low over them.
his opponent matched his look, his lips curled into a snarl as he surveyed the blonde boy, both of them picking out any weaknesses.
"holy shit." ashton whispered. lola turned towards him, relieved to have an excuse to not look at the boxers directly anymore.
but ashton was still fixated on them, pointing at luke. "they're not wearing any gloves."
sure enough, luke's hands were bare, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles looked ready to burst through the bruised skin.
lola felt sick at the sight of their fists poised; ready to attack. it was like watching two alpha lions as they circled each other, trying to anticipate who would strike first.
it was luke.
a nauseating crack was greeted with uproarious cheering, as blood from luke's opponent's lip covered his fist.
lola couldn't entirely make out what was going on through squinting eyes, but she knew luke was landing a lot more hits that his opponent - but the few that his opponent landed were hard.
just as everything felt a tiny bit too overwhelming, the halftime bell clanged.
all three boys charged forward to encourage luke, who took a mouthful from a bottle of water and just nodded, letting their words wash over him.
michael pulled bella towards him, who in turn, pulled lola. as she got closer to the ring, she crinkled her nose at the heavy scent of blood.
there was blood on the floor, and across the skin of both boxers - it was impossible to distinguish if their knuckles were cut or just drenched.
torn between not wanting to be rude, but also feeling uncomfortable and slightly out of her depth, lola tried to hang back subtly, her eyes trained on the odd socks peeping out of her black high tops.
"you're doing so well mate, just tire him out and finish it. don't fuck your knuckles up anymore." calum's encouragement was genuine - but so was the concern that was evident in his tone.
"will do." at the sound of luke's voice, lola looked up involuntarily, her eyes widening as she caught his gaze.
he looked shockingly good.
for someone who had just been in what seemed like possibly the most painful fight lola had ever seen, luke looked pretty phenomenal.
his cheeks were tinted pink, his blonde hair curling slightly and stuck to his forehead with sweat - and the intensity in his eyes wasn't as scary anymore.
she smiled, not even willing to risk giving advice about something she knew less than nothing about.
he didn't smile back, and she didn't expect him to. but he nodded, and that was enough.
before anything else could happen, the bell let out another rusty clang, and the boxers stood; both looking more ready to finish the other than when they'd first started.
lola couldn't look at all this time. she squeezed her eyes closed, and held bella's hands tightly, wincing every time she heard someone landing a hit - wincing and hoping it wasn't luke getting hit.
a huge crash sounded throughout the small arena - the crash of a body hitting the floor.
"ladies and gentlemen, luke hemmings!" heading luke proclaimed the winner gave lola just enough courage to open her eyes, unable to deny the relief she felt knowing he'd emerged victorious.
his bloody hand was held aloft, and the boys cheered wildly around her, drawing luke's attention towards their group.
he shook his hand free from the ref's grip, and sauntered over towards them, leaning over the side of the ring lazily.
"wait around the back for me, i'll be out in a second." his voice was gruff and scratchy, and it was evident how much the fight had taken out of him.
before he turned away, he caught her eyes for the second time that night. it was barely enough time for her to smile at him or acknowledge it properly, but it was definitely enough to give her butterflies.
***
the boys had already started drinking by the time luke met them outside; despite the fact he was only gone for ten minutes.
"luke man! celebration party at ours, what do you say?" ashton slurred, slinging an arm around luke's neck and grinning happily. luke patted his friends back in appreciation, but no smile crossed his face.
"i have to pass ash, sorry. i have training early tomorrow. you celebrate for me." what was possible the most minimal effort anyone had ever put in trying to convince someone else, was more than enough for the boys.
they continued to simultaneously give luke loud congratulations and try and arrange who was going back to theirs and who wasn't; tripping over each other until bella took it upon herself to step in.
"okay!" her voice rang out above the boys, and like baby duck's following their mother, they all looked expectantly at her and waited for her instructions.
"the four of us." she gestured at the three boys. "are going back to yours. luke has training and lola had a really long practice today so they're not coming this time, but, they'll be there next time, won't you?" luke and lola nodded on command as she sent a pointed look their way.
"you three can walk back to yours, i'm going to give lola a lift home and then i'll meet you there."
anxious to not interfere with her friend's plans, lola shook her head. "i can walk, it's not that far and i feel much better now."
"don't be silly lola, i'll take you-"
"i can take her." everyone turned to luke, who shrugged.
"i'm driving home, i can drop her off." he spoke in monotone, trying to maintain an air of carelessness; but sneaking a side glance at lola to see her reaction.
"are you sure?" she asked timidly. "i really don't mind walking?"
"it's fine." he shrugged again, and lola noticed bella's uncontainable grin.
"well alright then. lola, you go with luke and i'll call you tomorrow. bye bye." she hugged lola tightly, and practically shoved her towards luke before ushering the boys into her car.
"i'm parked around the corner." was all luke said, striding away quickly and leaving lola struggling to keep up with him.
his long legs only added to the problem, and she felt an embarrassing flush of frustration covering her face as she could all but drag her tired legs at a snail's pace.
he turned around, seeming to notice how slow she was compared to him, and the overwhelming urge to apologise took over.
"i'm sorry - i had a really long practice today and i'm just aching a bit-"
"it's fine." he interrupted her building ramble.
lola ducked her head down, feeling like she'd just embarrassed herself further by even opening her mouth - when she noticed a pair of worn out vans walking beside her.
luke slowed his pace considerably, and walked alongside lola, a soft blush covering her cheeks as they reached his car in silence.
***
"if you want to put music on go ahead." luke said distractedly, starting the car.
lola shook her head, passing the aux cord back to him. "it's your car, you choose the music."
he hesitated for a moment, but nodded, and nirvana - of course - slowly began to fill the silence.
"just type your address in here." as luke passed lola his phone, she felt something wet on her leg.
a sick feeling rose in her throat when she noticed the red spot on her leg; a red spot luke had yet to notice.
"um, luke?" he met her eyes, slightly confused as to why they suddenly looked so nervous. "you're - do you want a plaster?"
his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and she glanced down at his hands, prompting him to do the same. luke swore under his breath at the sight of his torn up knuckles and the blood on her leg.
a plaster couldn't hurt, right?
"sure." he agreed lowly, starting to drive in the direction of lola's house.
she remained quietly in the seat beside him, sometimes singing along to the songs she knew, and watching the way the streetlights washed over luke as he drove.
***
lola's front door was red, and luke felt like he should've seen that coming. she had a weird affinity for the colour - he'd never seen someone wear one colour so much.
everything in her flat had clearly been chosen with care - there were photos of her family and friends everywhere, and posters of films and bands littering the walls.
her walls were a soft shade of yellow, but they looked much more vibrant in the warm light exuded by her lamps - the ambience created an overall warmth that luke couldn't help but enjoy as he allowed the small girl to lead him through to her bathroom.
"if you just want to sit on the counter, i'll get the first aid kit - it's in one of these cupboards." he watched as she rummaged through a cupboard, before bringing out a small first aid kit and some flannels - pink ones.
"did you want a drink of anything?" her question dragged luke out of the haze he'd found himself trapped in since the car journey, and he shook his head.
"i'm good."
she nodded, and began swiftly unpacking the contents of the first aid kid. he noticed the small gold rings on her fingers - three to be precise.
before he could notice anything else, he felt something wet on his hands, and looked down to see lola washing the blood off of his hands with a wet flannel.
they both stayed silent as she ever so gently dabbed away the excess blood that covered his hands - and there was a lot of it.
it stained both cloths horribly, not seeming to fade even after lola wrung them out about a hundred times after the cold tap.
and luke felt bad for that, but he'd never say so.
"this part is probably going to hurt a bit, but if any of the blood is his i definitely need to clean it. i - yeah, you'll know why, i don't need to explain." she was rambling again, and she could tell, kicking herself as he stayed silent, just staring at her.
luke bit the inside of his cheeks as the sting of the antiseptic touched his still open wounds - it was a feeling he wasn't as used to as she should've been.
his heart stopped for a split second when he felt a soft weight on his hand.
luke looked down and saw lola's small hand resting on his own as she leaned in closer to ensure it was as clean as she could get it.
the warmth was removed when she moved to open another wipe for his other hand. he felt a slight twist is his gut as he realised he missed it - her hand was warm and soft, and he felt so much more down to earth when it rested on his.
and that was slightly scary to him, but he couldn't deny he enjoyed the feeling.
so when she took his other hand in hers and brought it across his lap to reach it better, his breath hitched and his jaw tensed.
"i'm going to wrap your knuckles because they're awkward to put plasters on, but the other cuts should be alright with just plasters. the bleeding has slowed enough that i don't think you'll bleed through." she had already started wrapping his knuckles in gauze, firmly but still with that gentleness luke was slowly getting used to.
once she finished, she opened a plaster - pink plaster.
luke furrowed his eyebrows. "pink plasters?"
"oh! yeah." her wide eyes met his, and she felt the familiar feeling of a blush covering her cheeks. "i just think they're prettier than those ugly skin coloured ones. it's nicer looking down and seeing a cute flash of pink."
luke only nodded, because while he didn't really care enough to agree, her reasoning was so sweet he couldn't bring himself to dispute it.
"um, you've got a little cut on your jaw - i didn't notice it till now." lola noticed how quiet her voice had grown, or the fact her hands were shaking slightly, until luke's blue eyes met her own, and she realised just how close their faces were.
"i'll just-" her throat felt too constricted to finish, so she simply opened another antiseptic wipe and dabbed softly at his jaw with it and oh dear god that was a sharp jaw.
she lifted her hand to his other cheek and rested it there, allowing herself to be able to clean the cut more thoroughly.
luke was sure he was shaking. his insides were going at triple speed and he felt himself tying in knots. he was growing frustrated with himself for having such strong reactions to the tiniest of gestures.
i've fucked girls before, why am i being such a dick about a hand on my cheek?
but the truth was, her hand felt comforting and it cupped his jaw almost perfectly - and he really fucking liked that.
***
once luke had been as thoroughly patched up as possible, lola smiled in satisfaction.
"you should be alright now. if for whatever reason you do bleed through just - let me know." and at that moment, luke contemplated beating up the entirety of his flat just to have her patch him up again.
god you fucking sap.
"yeah." was the safety net he settled for.
lola barely noticed his bluntness, partly having grown used to it, and partly feeling her legs begin to ache again.
she groaned slightly, leaning forwards until her body was pressed against her legs, and just prayed for her body to get it together.
"i'm sorry." her voice was muffled by her position, but luke was more focused on the strip of skin that showed between her jeans and her cropped cardigan.
"i had a really long practice today, i'm still aching a bit." she stood back up straight, still smiling at luke. "but i imagine you know the feeling."
i know one thing that could get me aching.
to say luke was beginning to really resent the voice in his head was an understatement.
"are you sure you don't want a drink of anything? or anything at all?" lola's hostessing flair came from her mum - a mum notorious for hosting the best family and friends gatherings the neighbourhood had ever seen. god forbid she was ever seen without a grin on her face and a plate of fresh cookies ready for whoever was going to turn up.
"i should probably go." luke slid off the counter, almost reluctantly. he didn't really want to leave, but he wasn't exactly sure what else he could do.
"i'll walk you to the front door."
he followed the small girl back out through her colourful rooms, unconsciously savouring the warmth he felt in her home.
"get home safe." lola smiled, watching him walk out along the path. luke reached the pavement and turned around suddenly.
"take an ice bath and spend the whole day tomorrow stretching. you should be fine." the words had left his mouth before he even registered them, and she smiled even wider, leaning on her doorframe and probably looking the most relaxed he'd ever seen her.
"wear gloves next time." she quipped, the cheeky air to her smile temporarily malfunctioning him when he realised he'd been nodding for way too long.
"yeah. i will."
writing this feels like screaming into the void lmao
just call me nietzsche
but fr i hope the few of you who are reading this enjoy it :)