lola stretched her right leg out, sighing with relief as she felt some of the tension ease.
between teaching the beginners classes and practicing for the company's next showcase, she could barely remember the last time there was a day she wasn't in the studio. in fact, the boxing match last night was the first time she'd gone out to something that wasn't to do with dance in two months.
and yes, it was scary and sweaty and kind of hard to look at, but there was a tiny, slightly guilty part of her that found it exciting. not the fighting per say, but muscly men with messy hair and unbelievable arms? it was then she realised just how long it had been since she'd last been with a guy.
and yeah there were alternative methods, but she was so tired at the end of every day that she barely had the effort to even want to try.
lola sat up a bit straighter and pouted at her reflection in the mirror. a couple of strands of hair had fallen out of her bun, and she was shining with sweat. the white walls were painfully unforgiving on how pale she'd suddenly become - lola hadn't realised how quickly her summer tan had faded.
she stared until she was convinced her yellow undertones made her look sickly and sighed. since the breakup, she'd developed an unhealthy habit of hating herself purely for the sake of hating herself. lola had never been the most confident girl in the world, but now she was just convinced she was the ugliest human to ever slither into the world.
lola and her ex, nate, had broken up exactly five months ago - she hadn't meant to count the days. their relationship was her first real one, and when they split she felt like she'd lost half of herself. he'd been friends with her friends, he'd keep her company at practices and was a permanent fixture in the crowds at her shows.
her first performance after the breakup was possibly the loneliest she'd ever felt. no nate cheering her on, right in the front and center so he could see every move she made. no flowers waiting for her backstage, no open arms and soft kisses waiting in the lobby. nothing.
towards the end of their relationship, she'd noticed a slight shift in his behavior. he didn't ever want to cuddle her anymore, he kept cancelling. he'd get snappier and shorter with her, he'd only ever give her attention when they were having sex, and whenever lola tried to talk to him about it, all he would do was shout.
eventually, she scraped up the courage to ask him if he loved her. she remember how much her voice was shaking, and her cheeks were already wet with tears because she knew exactly what he was going to say.
no.
he shook his head and her entire world crumbled because how could the person she adored more than anyone not love her anymore?
she remembered him closing the door behind him. the lock clicked and she crumbled to the floor.
lola blinked herself back to reality, realising how blurred her vision had become.
she wiped her eyes quickly, and stood back up, retreating to the corner of the small studio to change her shoes.
as she was in the midst of carefully pacing up her tap shoes, she heard someone push the door open.
a head of dark curls poked through the small opening, followed by a cheeky grin that warmed her from the inside out. the nirvana t-shirt had holes in it and the jeans were definitely a circulation hazard. it was an unmistakable calum hood.
calum shuffled into the studio, looking slightly nervous as he shut the door behind him, before engulfing lola in a bone-crushing hug.
"hi lil lola," he hummed contentedly, finally releasing the small girl from his embrace and allowing her a moment to breathe again.
"why hello young calum." she smiled, beginning to lace up her other shoe, "to what do i owe the pleasure of your company?"
he flopped clumsily onto the bench at the very edge of the studio, not entirely meeting her eyes.
"just felt like coming to see my favourite ballerina is all."
lola pressed her lips together as a sudden swell of anxiety hit her in the stomach. something felt wrong.
"what is it calum?" and oh god, she felt her mouth getting dry.
he looked sadly at her before swallowing.
"nate called last night." he saw her eyes widen and her eyebrows arch downwards and stood up hurriedly, wrapping an arm around her.
"i completely forgot i had his number i swear, this was the first time i'd even spoken to him since you guys split. he asked-"
lola shuffled out from his arm and took a deep breath, steadying her slightly shaking hands.
"sorry i feel like i need to be doing something else while we talk about this, otherwise i'm going to get too sad." she turned to face the mirror, blinking harshly for a moment to rid her eyes of tears. "dance with me?"
"sure. you know i've always got on my dancing shoes." calum smiled, rocking on his heels in the mirror while lola switched on an upbeat swing song.
they stood still for a moment while the music built, until lola nodded at calum, and they began to dance.
and despite her sadness, a little smile spread across lola's cheeks when she saw her best friend dancing in the mirror.
calum was - well, he was doing his best. he was kicking his legs out and spinning and lola had truly never seen such aggressive jazz hands.
"so," he huffed, already out of breath. "nate. he called, and he wanted me to set up a situation for you guys to meet and talk but i said-"
"no." lola blew a strand of hair out of her face, continuing to dance with more energy than she had been before. "you said no, right?"
"of course." calum's face was shining with sweat, and lola noticed how defined his cheekbones were.
god he's lucky.
"i told him he'd made his bed and had to lie it in." calum attempted to spin on his back, quickly scrambling up when he realised that he wasn't going to get far. "and that after last time i was surprised he even had the balls to try again."
lola's cheeks flushed red and she looked down in shame.
about a month after the breakup, nate has contacted her again, asking to see her. they ended up sleeping together, but when she woke up in his flat, he wasn't there.
she couldn't even bring herself to go and see her friends for comfort. she walked home as quickly as she could, staring at the ground and hoping she wouldn't cry in the street.
when her friends found out, they sounded so disappointed. it broke her heart all over again, and she promised them all she would block him on everything and never see him again.
and nate-abstinence was working pretty well for her.
"yeah i just - i don't think i want to see him again. the situation still makes me sad and all but, i feel like i'm doing okay and getting over him. i don't want to talk to him anymore, and that's good. right?" lola stopped dancing and turned to calum, right as he entered the process of tripping.
in his defence, he has spun around about three times in a row.
she couldn't hold back a giggle as he toppled back like a baby deer on ice. he grinned goofily up at her, just happy seeing his friend happy.
"yeah, it's good." he agreed, crossing his legs. "if you meet him again, he's never going to stop this. he can't just have you when he wants you."
lola nodded in agreement, her lips once again pressing firmly together.
"you're going to be alright, aren't you lola?" calum looked up at his friend with concern written all over his expression.
he knew lola.
he knew how sensitive she could be, and how much nate hurt her when he picked her up and left her whenever it suited him. he knew how horrible it made her feel about herself, and he knew how she internalised it for the sake of her friends and preventing them from worrying.
"of course." she smiled down at him. "and if i'm not, i'll just call you in the middle of the night and make you listen to me cry again."
calum laughed as lola winked at him, standing up and brushing imaginary dust off his butt.
"well, as long as you're okay, i'm going to love you and leave you. i booked in an extra shift today because i've got a hot date coming up." he picked his phone up and sauntered towards the doorway.
"have fun chopping those vegetables." lola giggled, waving him out the door.
she wandered into the centre of the studio and looked up at the ceiling.
the situation was still sinking in a little.
after not hearing from nate in so long, it had admittedly thrown her off a bit to even remember how much he meant to her once.
but she was relieved to realise that he just didn't anymore. he'd broken her heart and she was still healing, but she didn't feel like she needed him anymore.
lola wrapped her arms around herself and grinned, swaying back and forth.
yeah. fuck you nate.
***
luke was exhausted.
he was coated in an uncomfortable layer of sweat and his entire body was screaming out at him to stop.
he could feel his heart smack against his rib cage, and wondered for a moment if it might actually burst out.
his joints were shaking and his muscles aches so badly he could barely move.
but still, he threw another punch at the disfigured bag hanging from the ceiling, only feeling satisfaction when it swung back from him; a cavernous dent in the place his fist had been.
luke let it swing back into the centre of the ring, painfully heavy breaths leaving his body as he began to take off his gloves.
only now he'd stopped did he realise how badly he was aching. it took all of his remaining energy to stumble out of the ring and open his water bottle.
luke slumped back on the lockers, annoyed at his legs for shaking under him.
truthfully, luke had been pissed off since last night.
yeah, he won the match. but he also knew his opponent had a barely any experience compared to him, and luke could feel he'd been off his best.
being off his best not only sent a massive blow to his pride, but it swirled in the sickly feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach.
boxing was all luke was qualified to do. it was what he was best at in the world, it was how he kept his emotions in check, how he kept a roof over his head. he knew all athletic careers ended way before a normal one would, but he needed to make this last as long as possible.
he didn't have any other choice.
with a heavy sigh, luke's eyebrows furrowed deeply as he pushed himself off of the lockers and upright again, slinging his tattered gym bag over his shoulder and limping out of the boxing area, and into the relative quietness of the rest of the gym.
the normal gym was brighter, much brighter than the boxing area. the walls were covered in inspiration posters and adverts for classes. luke could hear the radio blaring a remix he couldn't quite place, and he shoved his headphones in clumsily.
luke passed the running machines, his feet not even fully leaving the ground as he walked. by the time he got to the stretching area, he was already halfway to the ground before collapsing onto a mat, giving himself a second to breathe before starting to stretch.
as the familiar relief washed through his body, luke's jaw also began to relax - truthfully he had no clue he was clenching it. breathing became a bit easier as he continued to stretch, allowing himself to enjoy the break from being so active all the time.
nirvana crooned in his ears, and luke rolled onto his knees, only then realised there was someone on the mat beside his.
one of the girls, the dark haired one, was sat with her legs wide open, her upper body stretched right out against the mat. luke's back ached just at the sight of it.
he noticed she had freckles on her shoulders and across the back of her neck. there weren't many, and they were quite light, and luke was annoyed with himself for being so easily intrigued by them.
as he was about to look away, the girl sat up, and caught his eye in her peripheral.
luke felt his face flush with embarrassment - he hoped she would think it was just from working out.
she turned to face him, crossing her legs, and saying something with a bright smile on her face - she had freckles across her nose and cheeks too.
luke pulled his headphones out, pausing his song.
"sorry." his voice was raspy. he'd been training for a solid four hours, and hadn't actually spoken since mumbling hi to the person behind the desk.
"i was just saying hi. we met last night, i'm - i don't know if you'd remember me. i was with the boys. i'm lola." her cheeks matched his in redness, and her smile seemed slightly nervous as she introduced herself to the silent boy.
he started blankly at her, almost too tired to really comprehend what she was saying.
but sitting across from him, she looked so nervously expectant and happy, and a weirdly, sickly feeling clogged his throat as her smile began to drop slightly.
"yeah. i'm luke." he nodded instead of smiling. it just came more naturally.
"it's nice to meet you." her smile reappeared, wider than before. "i think i said last night but - um - congratulations on your win. you were very good."
"thanks." he knew he was being blunt, but he was really too tired to care.
lola nodded, seeming to understand that their conversation was going to remain one sided.
she stood up, and brought her right leg up, straightening it until it was perfectly aligned with her body.
"were you boxing here today?" she asked quietly.
he grunted in acknowledgement, already much more focused on stretching.
"that's cool." her voice was almost silent. she was embarrassed for even pushing it this far. honestly, lola kind of wished she'd just stayed quiet.
she lifted up her left leg and repeated the stretch, staring straight forward.
luke glanced over at her, and sighed. he really, really wasn't in the mood for social interaction, but he also wasn't in the mood to feel like a complete dick for the rest of the night.
"what were you here for?" he asked reluctantly, continuing to stretch.
a little smile stretched across lola's cheeks, and she let her leg go.
"ballet. i had training earlier, and i just like to come here to do some cardio and stretch and stuff." she slid down into a splits, and luke had to force his eyes not to wander south.
just fucking stretch you idiot. just fucking stretch like you came here to do.
"cool." he said quietly, looking up at the ceiling.
"thank you." she looked over at him and smiled. her politeness unnerving him.
right as luke was deciding he might as well finish stretching, lola stood up.
"i'm going to head off but - i hope you have a good evening." before he could even acknowledge what she had said, she was already walking away.
his eyes followed her until she was out of his slight, and luke dragged himself off of the mat, pulling his hoodie on as he left the gym.
***
jogging home was a stupid idea.
luke ached worse than before, and even the thought of moving from his bed was enough to make him never want to move again.
he didn't have any matches for the next week, so all he really had to do was train.
luke had an unfortunate habit of taking training too far.
it had become like a punishment. jogging to the gym gave luke the same feeling as a child walking to time out.
he didn't enjoy boxing that much anymore, but it was all he was really good at.
maybe this week he deserved a break. maybe he could hang out with calum, ashton and michael. it would be nice to see them properly again.
the thought of the boys lead luke's mind to lola, and he squeezed his eyes shut, frustrated with himself for thinking of her so easily after one conversation. he barely knew her at all, why was his mind so preoccupied with her?
but goddamn, she had a good ass if he'd ever seen one.
i hope you're enjoying it so far :)
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