to the boy who fucked me over:
a, you brought so much turmoil into my life.
i lost everything because of you.
my reputation, not just with my peers, but also with my teachers.
my friends.
every.
single.
one.
i lost my happiness.
i lost me.
i've lowered the standards for myself, it seems.
i never, ever, would have even DREAMT of sneaking out of the house, let alone to go see you.
you've reduced my safe, rule-follower self to an impulsive outsider.
where did i go wrong?
i think it all started when
i talked to you that very first day in september.
almost four months ago.
i'm still struggling with the aftermath of you.
and the impact you've made on my life.
it's not totally your fault.
it's also mine—
for being so stupid and reckless and impulsive and all the things i'm not.
that last month was the worst one of my life.
you forced me to stay with you for your own pleasure.
i wanted out, and tried to voice it so many times.
but no, i wasn't allowed to leave.
only when i was wailing and sobbing over the phone did you finally relent.
and i am free.