Vivian's POV
Why? Why can't people just be happy for me?
I posted on instagram a simple photo telling people to stay warm, and people bombard me with comments saying I'm nothing and should leave Red Velvet.
People assume what they do not know or understand. They assume I went on a hiatus due to my wedding, but that's not it. They assume Jongin and I are getting married quickly to have kids soon, but that's not it. They assume I'm gonna leave Red Velvet for the married life, but that's not true.
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I'm at the hospital for a check up to see how my condition is. The public doesn't know. Only my company, family, and close friends know.
I was diagnosed with lung cancer in July. That's why I wasn't in Umpah Umpah, or performing with them now. Apparently I've had it since February this year.
Luckily, it was so small that it can be "removed" easily, but I need time to rest, and a lot of rest.
The person who I an around the most that currently smokes is my dad. I think Jongin used to but if he ever did or still does, I haven't seen it and he doesn't do it around me. I'm pretty sure he quit though.
Jongin is busy-- oh I'm sorry, Kai is busy promoting with EXO for Obsession (i fuckin love the entire album), so I'm alone at the hospital.
The real reasons for all the points earlier are...
-I'm on a hiatus for my treatment.
-We're getting married quickly because if we wait too long we might not be able to.
-I'm not gonna leave Red Velvet for marriage, but if my condition worsens then I might have to.
This whole situation is terrifying, and doesn't fit with my lifestyle. I work hard, and barely get time to sleep. Now I have to plan a wedding and get my treatment. It's a lot.
Luckily I have all the help from the planner, and family so the wedding should be okay... I hope.
I just try to life the mood in sad times. That's just who I am, and I can't help it. These shitty people on the internet don't even know what I'm going through and continue to make me feel like shit when I'm going through something that feels like I'm dying.
Why are people so negative all the time?
Why?
Why?...
Why...
Just...
why?