It all happened so fast.
Ali tried to hide me behind him but I saw enough to embed Atticus' reaction in my mind. How he was confounded at first and how it transformed into pain and anger.
He moved so quickly that all I could do was shriek when Ali stumbled a bit when Atticus punched him straight in the face.
"Traydor ka!" Atticus fumed and tried to throw another punch to his brother. Ali only blocked Atticus' advances but he never fought back.
"Atticus! Stop!" I screamed, hoping that my voice will be enough to stop him.
"Gago ka, Kuya! Gago ka!" pumiyok ang galit na galit na boses ni Atticus. His eyes were red and the tears were starting to fall from it.
Atticus gripped on Ali's coat. Ali was inches taller than him but he still managed to do it because of anger. His fists were shaking.
"Atticus, please!" I cried out again.
"Atticus.." Ali calmly called. His voice wasn't strained. He was composed, the very opposite of how Atticus was feeling.
Tuluyan nang tumulo ang mga luha ni Atticus. Nanlabo ang mga mata ko at pakiramdam ko ay sumabay ang luha ko sa pagpatak.
Padabog na bumitaw si Atticus sa pagkakahawak kay Ali. Nagawa pa niya itong itulak palayo. Ali let out a sigh but still remained silent.
"I told you I love her, Kuya! How could you—" Atticus' eyes briefly looked at me. My body went cold with guilt and shame. "How could you fucking kiss her!"
Seeing the pain in Atticus face tore my heart. Halos makalimutan ko na ang saya na naramdaman kanina lang. All I could feel right now was fear and pain.
"Atticus..." my voice trembled as I called his name for the third time.
I heard Ali inhaled sharply after that. I didn't spare him a glance. I kept my eyes locked on Atticus.
"Is it him? He's the guy that you like?" Atticus looked at me as like I betrayed him; like I was complete sinner and he's disgusted at the sight of me.
I bit my lip. I didn't think it was possible for my heart to break over and over again. I breathed in deeply and carefully nodded. My cheeks were hot with endless tears. "I'm sorry."
Atticus' face contorted as if I just hurt him in the worst way possible. He lifted his hand and pressed it to his lips. His tears flowed continuously. "Why? Why does it have to be him?"
Para akong paulit-ulit na sinasaksak sa dibdib habang tinititigan si Atticus pero hindi ko magawang alisin ang tingin sa kanya. I just wanna make him feel better but I don't know how or if I'm even capable of doing that when I know I'm the cause of his pain.
Unti-unti akong humakbang palapit sa kanya. He watched me as I closed the distance between us.
"I'm sorry, Atticus," I whispered. Because what else is there to say without hurting him?
"Hyon..." Atticus cupped my face. Tears relentlessly poured from his eyes as he intently stared at it me. "Ako naman ang una mong nakilala, diba? Bakit hindi na lang ako? Bakit siya pa?"
"Atti," I cried out.
"Ako na lang, please." His hands fell to my shoulders and gripped on it, as if he refuses to let me go. "Please..."
Mas dumiin ang hawak niya sa akin. It was an involuntary reaction to wince.
"You're hurting her, Atticus," Ali's voice was stern this time. Wala na ang kalmado at mapagpasensyang boses kanina.
Agad na bumitaw si Atticus sa akin at galit na hinarap ang kapatid. "'Wag kang sumabat! Tangina ka!"
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. His voice was so loud and livid that I know it's impossible for the people in the main venue to not hear it. I've never witnessed Atticus like this. He was volatile... and dangerous. Ibang-iba sa Atticus na kilala kong suplado man ay mapaglaro pa rin.
"I'm still your older brother. Umayos ka sa pananalita mo," matalim na sagot ni Ali.
"Older brother my fucking ass. Gawain ba ng magaling kapatid na maging traydor, ha?" Atticus shook his head. His tears were renewed, but this new batch were purely angry tears. "She was mine first! I had her first!"
"She was never yours, Atticus," Ali quietly replied.
That triggered Atticus to explode again and attack him and all I could do was scream their names. Napalakas ang suntok ni Atticus ngayon dahil nagawa niyang patumbahin si Ali. Atticus gripped on Ali's coat to drag him back up.
"What the fuck?" I heard a voice join in.
"Shit!" another voice said.
Nakita ko na lang si Kuya Xavi at Kuya Hadeon na umawat at pinaghiwalay si Atticus at Ali. Ali willingly let Kuya Hadeon pull him back. Si Atticus ang pumipiglas sa pagkakahawak ni Kuya X.
"What is happening here?" my mom's voice followed.
"Atticus? Ali?" it was Tita Agatha.
I glanced at our audience. My family was complete, even Ate Laurene. Maging si Dashiel ay nandito. Tito Theo and Tita Agatha were here, too.
"Mang-aagaw ka! Traydor!" My eyes returned to Atticus who was still on a rampage, not caring if he was being watched by a small crowd.
I felt an arm wrap around my waist. It was Ate Laurene. She half-hugged me. I couldn't thank her or cave in to her hug. I was too worried to care about anything except the fact that Ali and Atticus ate fighting because of me.
"Atticus!" Tito Theo's voice thundered. "Dito pa kayo nag-away? Hindi man lang kayo nahiya kay Hyon?"
"He stole her from me, Dad!" Atticus cried out. "Ako ang nauna!"
"What?" Tito Theo looked so confused.
Pati ang iba ay mukhang nalito sa sinabi ni Atticus at hindi agad nakuha. When their eyes fell on me, I know that they realized what he meant. Blood dropped to my feet. I felt ashamed as they gave me dirty looks. Disappointment can be seen in Tita Agatha's face.
Hindi ko makayanan at napapikit na lang at mariin na ikinuyom ang mga kamao. The ring that Ali just recently gave me dug on my skin as a reminder.
"Alister?" Tita Agatha called.
Napatingin ako kay Ali. His eyes looked determined. I noticed a dot of blood on the side of his lips. He clenched his jaw and gazed at me. Lumabot ang mga mata niya nang tumama ito sa akin at parang nagtatanong. He looked like he's asking for my permission.
"Hyon?" tawag ni Mommy.
"I'm sorry po..." I looked at everyone and then at Atticus, who was waiting for what I was about to say next. Namumula pa rin ang mga mata niya. "But I love Ali."
I heard severals gasps. Maliban kay Ate Laurene na rinig na rinig ko ay hindi ko na alam kung sino pa ang suminghap.
"I'm in love with Hyon, too, and I'm not sorry," Ali softly declared, his eyes never leaving mine.
Muling suminghap si Ate Laurene sa tabi ko. Mas malakas pa sa kanina. The others were probably shocked because none of them made a sound.
I wish I could smile. Hearing him say that should make me happy. He filled my heart, like always, but it wasn't enough to extrude the pain. Parang nadagdagan pa nga ang sakit. Why do I suddenly feel burdened?
"Damn," I heard Kuya Zeno mutter under his breath.
Bumalik ang mga mata ko kay Atticus. He took a step back and almost stumbled. Wala na ang galit sa mukha niya. He looked hopeless and lost. His eyes raised to me, pleading me to come and find him.
He weakly shook his head. I can almost see his soul being sucked out lf him. New tears sparked in his eyes before he turned around and quickly ran away.
His parents called his name. Pati si Dashiel ay tinawag siya at agad na sumunod nang hindi ito huminto.
"Theo... your son," Tita Agatha said in a distressed tone.
"I know." Lumingon si Tito sa akin. He looked apologetic but it didn't stop me from getting attacked by my conscience. Sunod siyang tumingin kay Ali. Sumeryoso ang mukha niya. "We'll talk at home."
He bid goodbye to my parents and muttered his apologies. Nauna siyang naglakad patungo sa direksyon na itinakbo ni Atticus.
Ganoon din ang ginawa ni Tita Agatha. Huli niya akong tiningnan. Dismay was written on her face and unlike Tito Theo, I can see it in her eyes that she's blaming me for this.
I felt Ate L's hand squeezing my waist. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Her eyes were hinted with worry as she flashed me a sympathetic smile.
Silence hovered as they left. Kuya Hadeon let out a long whistle.
"I am so confused," Mommy exclaimed. She looked at me and then at Ali as if we were some kind of puzzle that needs to be solved. "Parang sasakit ata ang ulo ko."
Daddy immediately snaked his arm around my mother's back, settling his hand on her stomach. "We should call it a night."
"Can I drive Hyon home, Mr. Serrano?" Ali suddenly exclaimed.
Hindi sumagot agad si Daddy. Tumingin muna siya sa akin at matapos ay huminga nang malalim. "If that's what Hyon wants."
"Mauna na kayo, Ali, para makapagpahinga na si Hyon. Kami na ang bahala sa mga bisita."
"I'll go home, too," paalam ni Kuya X.
Nakaakbay pa rin sa akin si Ate L palabas ng venue at patungo sa sasakyan ni Ali. We were just following after him.
Nang malapit na sa sasakyan ay huminto na si Ate sa paglalakad. Ali stopped in front of the passenger door. Alam kong gusto niya akong pagbuksan ng pinto kaya doon siya naghihintay.
My sister released me from her hold. She curiously glanced at Ali before looking back at me. There's a proud smile on her lips.
"You bagged Alister Santiesteban who's six years older," Ate L giggled. "I am so proud."
My cheeks heated. "Ate!"
She sheepishly grinned and fixed my face. Ngayon ko lang naalala ang itsura ko. Sana naman ay hindi nasira ang makeup ko dahil sa pag-iyak. Huminga siya nang malalim at matapos ay yumakap sa akin.
"Love freely, little sis," she whispered in my ears before releasing me. She glanced at Ali. "Bye, Ali."
Tumango lang si Ali rito at matapos ay bumaling na sa akin. I feel hesitant with my every step. Ali watched me the whole time and it made me shy. Sa tuwing akala ko ay nasasanay na ako ay palagi akong nauuwi sa hiya. He's just... too much for me.
Ali opened the door for me without a word. Hindi niya agad isinara ang pinto at inayos pa ang seatbelt ko para sa akin. Nang maayos na ay tsaka lang niya sinara ang pinto at umikot para sumakay.
The drive was melancholic. Walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa. Natatakot akong pag-usapan ang nangyari kanina pero kailangan.
"Nagkagalit kayo ni Atticus," I started. Umpisa pa lang ay nanginig na agad ang boses ko.
Ali released a heavy breath. "It's not your fault."
"It is," I answered and looked away.
My shoulders jumped when Ali reached for my hand. It brought my attention back to him. Ang isang kamay niya ay nasa steering wheel, deretso lang ang tingin niya sa daan at sumusulyap lang sa akin.
"His feelings for you is not your responsibility. He felt that on his own. You didn't force him to love you, so don't blame yourself for something that is out of your control."
Muling nag-init ang mga mata ko nang maalala ang sakit sa mukha ni Atticus. I am hurting for him. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko ginusto na masaktan siya. If I could take his pain for him, I would.
"A-Anong gagawin natin, Ali?" iyak ko.
Suminghap si Ali at matapos ay inihinto ang sasakyan sa tabi. Wala naman gaanong sasakyan at maliwanag ang lamp posts. He removed his seatbelt and moved closer so he can cup my cheek and brushed the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.
"Baby, listen," he said in a low and careful voice. "I didn't wait for you just to give you up."
His words filled my heart, covering up the pain that was lingering from the recent happening. I could feel the butterlies' wings weakly fluttering.
"I love my brother enough that I gave him some time and a chance to change your mind. 'Cos I knew you were still young and I thought your feelings can be swayed."
My tears-filled eyes slightly widened at what he admitted. Kaya siya umiwas dati para kay Atticus?
"Kung nahulog ka sa kanya, handa akong magparaya dahil kahit kailan hinding-hindi kita pipilitin kung hindi mo gusto," paliwanag ni Ali. His thumb smoothed my cheek. "But you're in love with me and they can call me selfish, but I'm not letting you go for anything or anyone."
Muling bumalik ang pagtulo ng mga luha sa mga mata ko. The hurt from earlier was replaced by a different kind of hurt. 'Yong sobra-sobra ang saya na parang ang sakit na.
How can he be selfish? Hearing his words and how he's willing to set me free if ever I fell in love with Atticus... isn't that selflessness?
I'm in love with him and that made me his. So how can claiming me and protecting me, selfish?
"I really love you, Ali," I austerely said with all of my heart.
I don't have his fancy words because my head is a mess whenever he's involved and I also get tonguetied, but that's something that I can honestly say to him.
Ali slowly leaned down and covered my mouth with his. He moved gently, pressing shallow kisses on my lips. I could only stay still and let him dominate my mouth. His hand slid to the back of my head to hold me properly. He tilted his head and parted my lips with his tongue.
My heart was pounding loudly inside my chest. I tried to copy the movements of his lips but he winced and stopped the kiss. Bumitaw rin siya sa pagkakahawak sa akin.
Namula ang mukha ko sa hiya. "I-I'm sorry. Hindi ako sanay."
"What? No, baby. Your kisses are sweet." Humalakhak si Ali at muling umaray sa sakit. He reached for the side of his lips and half-smiled at me. Half dahil may guhit ng sakit sa mukha niya.
Doon ko lang naalala na may sugat nga pala siya sa gilid ng labi dahil sa suntok ni Atticus. Walang pag-aalinlangan na inabot ko 'yon at nag-aalalang tinitigan. May kaonting dugo 'yon.
"Kailangan mo ng first aid, Ali! D-Does it hurt?"
Malokong ngumisi si Ali at umiling. "I don't need first aid. I just need my baby's kisses."
Napabitaw ako ng hawak kay Ali at nag-init ang mukha sa hiya sa sinabi niya. My baby! That's me! Ako 'yong baby niya! Ali chuckled at my reaction.
"Inaasar mo lang ako," sabi ko sa kanya.
"I'm not," seryosong sagot niya at seryoso rin ang tingin niya sa akin para ipakita na seryoso talaga siya.
Kinagat ko ang labi at tumingin sa bibig niya. Mom used to kiss me near my wounds, too, she said it will heal faster with that. And scientifically, it is probable. I've seen an article about it.
Huminga ako nang malalim at tumango kay Ali. His eyebrows raised. I cupped his cheeks and gently raised my lips to kiss him.
Siya ngayon ang hindi gumagalaw. Sinubukan kong gayahin ang ginawa niya kanina at ginapang ang kamay sa kanyang batok at hinila siya nang mas malapit. Madali ko naman siyang napasunod.
I tilted my head and tried his tongue trick. He groaned when my tongue slipped between his mouth, mimicking what he did earlier. I didn't know what to do next. Before I could think my next step, he surprised me by sucking my tongue. His hand flew to my waist and his lips began to move.
Isang maingay na busina sa likod ang nagpatalon sa aming dalawa. My heart was beating so fast as I properly sat on my seat.
May muling bumusina kaya napatingin na ako sa labas at nakita ang pagharurot ng isang itim na sasakyan. I know that car. It's Kuya Xavi's!
Ali must have realized that, too, because he frustratedly grunted and leaned back on his seat.