A/N: THERE IS A CLEARLY MARKED TRIGGER WARNING IN THIS CHAPTER. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF YOU IGNORE IT AND IT TRIGGERS YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED TWICE.
Today is one of the days where I have to ask, why me? I had to track Alita down this morning when a guard told me that he had seen her trying to train again. She refused to go back to her room and practically begged me to let her train so I eventually scooped her up and placed her over my shoulder before carrying her back into the castle. She complained for a while after that, claiming she was going to die of boredom and lack of sunlight with the torture that Master and I were putting her through. I reminded her that I myself spent every available moment outside for as long as she had known me yet I'm stuck inside too and she patted my head in what I assume was reassurance.
I go to settle in the chair I've been occupying for the past few days but she lightly grabs my hand with one hand and pats the bed beside her with the other. My eyes widen slightly at what she's asking me to do. She giggles at my expression and grabs her notebook, telling me that it was for perfectly innocent reasons and unless I didn't think I could control myself, that it should be okay. I sigh and hesitantly sit across from her, making sure to keep distance between us. I hear her laughing at me again so I stick my tongue out at her, then explain that I'm sitting here so I can see her talking properly.
'Can I ask you something?' I sign, earning a nod and a smile. It still seems to amaze her that I'm able to at least somewhat sign with her now. Too bad I don't know how to sign my question. "Why didn't you tell me that you were a princess?"
I watch her hands as she slowly signs and I realize that she's repeating my question for me. I ask her to do it again and mimic her movements. She pulls out her book and begins to write and I'm secretly grateful that she didn't choose to try signing it all.
'I wasn't aware of my status at all until I turned seven, but how did you know about it?'
I tell her that Haru mentioned it and I'd later talked with Briara as well. She repeats it to me before writing. She's started to do that to help me learn more, once she figured out that was where my skills came from.
'In Tireean, we stopped using the royal titles and status positions. After the issues with the King, the villagers grew to resent and fear royalty and the brutality that came from his attack. That's why they settled in the trees away from the other castles and hidden from view. Tanbarun doesn't know it exists. Grandfather became known as the patriarch instead and my parents were just villagers. My father was slated to become the patriarch when Grandfather passes, but now that he's gone, I'm not sure what will happen. Enri would be the next male in line but he is far too young.'
Her answer explains why Mari and Mei freaked out when they realized who Master was.
'Can I ask something else? You don't have to answer if you aren't comfortable.' She nods and I think back to the signs I need. I think I know them all. 'What happened to make you lose your voice? Haru said you spoke back then.'
Her eyes drop to her hands and I regret asking already. I gently remind her that she doesn't have to answer and tell her that I didn't mean to upset her but she waves it off. She looks up to the ceiling for a moment, blinking back tears before taking a deep breath and she starts to write. Her hand is shaking when she passes the book to me and I lightly take her hand and hold it as I read what she'd written, but sneak a glance up at her first, internally smirking at the blush on her cheeks as she stares at our hands.
******************TRIGGER WARNING****(For references to sexual assault)**********
'Sinjin was always abusive toward me, it started out with just words and slowly grew from there into striking me and throwing things at me. I dealt with it all as quietly as I could, as you aren't supposed to speak out against your Master and take your punishments without a word. But one night, he called me to his bedroom.' I don't like where this is heading, especially with how shaky her writing has gotten, but I continue on, my stomach turning as my thoughts are confirmed. '...he told me to stop screaming and begging. He said that if he heard another word from me that he would kill me. I haven't spoken out loud since then and even though I know I'm free, the thought of speaking terrifies me.'
***END OF TRIGGER WARNING***
I look up from her words as I feel her hand trembling in mine. I can tell by looking at her that she's trying to keep herself from crying and I hate myself again for asking.
"I'm sorry for asking Miss... I'm sorry he did that to you."
She waves it off again as if it were nothing and I sigh before gently pulling her over to me.
"You don't have to pretend that you're fine when you aren't. I know what you have been through and I'm not going to judge you for showing emotion."
I watch as she picks up the book and rests it on her knee. 'I hate that something so simple is so terrifying. I don't even remember what my voice sounds like. What if it doesn't work anymore?'
"Well, I can tell you something for certain," I mumble as I use my thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Your voice still works and it sounds beautiful." She looks up at me in shock and confusion and I smirk. "You talk in your sleep. I heard you the night that we brought you back to Tieeran. I came in to check on you after Shirayuki and your friends left."
Her eyes widen and a blush crosses her cheeks before asking what she said. I look away, remembering her words exactly but I just tell her that she'd simply mumbled something that I couldn't understand and she seems to accept it.