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Chapter 12
I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to collect myself.
I take a couple deep breaths and finally come back to myself. Its cold outside and I should probably get going home, except how am I going to get there? I walk into the house but stand infront of the door closed behind me.
What I see shocks me.
Grant at the table, across from him is Molly. They aren't eating nor talking. Just sitting there probably resting thier throats from all the yelling tonight. "Umm, I'm going to need to go home." I mumble not sure if they can hear me or even notice that I am present. "I'll take her home, no special treatments Molly. I mean it." Grant says after getting up. "Lets go, we will take the truck." Grant says pushing me out the door.
As we ride in the big duley I can't remember if I brought anything, it has t be in Christians car still. It has to be-
"You are just like your mother, breaking rules that don't even exsist to you yet. You need to control that." He tells me. His voice echoing in the truck. Hmmm, Mom.
"Did you love her?" I ask. I know its inapropriate but I want to know.
"Yes. I did. But she wanted something else, so she met Charles and moved with him and had a life with him." He controls the steering wheel with one hand. "Did Da- Charles know that I wasn't his?" I ask selfishly. If he knows then I dont know what to do.
"Yes. He and I were some what friends when we were in highschool. Your Grandmother told her not to get involved with human, but being a rebel she didn't listen." He goes on.
Grandma, what? I could see her being a wolf. She has all those spiritual candles and feathers everywhere. But why hadn't anyone told me about it? "But what really gets to me, is why none of us can read your thoughts. I've tried so hard to figure it out, unless your mother knows something. She needs to undo it." He talks as if she is still alive.
Does he even know? He has too. They never said anything like I'm so sorry for your loss or anything. Are you kidding me! You went to her funeral, you saw her cold dead body Blake, don't try to full yourself! My subconscious yells at me. Right.
"Blake, with this life you can have whatever you want. It is a real fun feeling but you have to do it with a special obedience to the pack. Its not all fun and games all the time. There is hard work, you have to learn to provide not for yourself but for you whole pack." He stops and lets me think this through.
If I have this I can maybe get to know my real father, but what about Dad? Charles. I could also get to know more about my Mother. "What about school?" I ask him hoping I won't have to go back.
"Blake, believe me if I am anything like my Father you will want to go to school after I'm done with you." He chuckles a little. He seems more loosened up since he is away from the rest of the "pack".
"Okay." I say agreeing to the offer.
"What?" He asks obviously confused. You can back out now, he won't know what your talking about! My subconscious pushes me. No I want this, I want to know my mother I want to know my Dad. Grant. No matter how much of a dick he is, I am still part of him, and I will learn to obey and agree with some of his "rules" as he calls them.
"I will join the pack. Seriously." I tell him once more but this time more confident. We pull up to the house and he puts it in park. "Really? Your going to go through with it?" He asks unsure.
"Yeah." I say eased back. I can do this right? Peice of cake, just have to follow rules and obey. How hard right? It beats school! Ha!
"Great. Now lets go break the new to good old Charles. I bet he will be glad to see me." He chuckles but then becomes very serious. Great, what is he going to start with Charles now? I wonder how he will take it? I hope this goes well. I'd hate to hurt him.
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"You sure this is what you want kiddo?" Charles asks me seriously.
He doesn't know about the whole wolf thing, we talked about how he took Mom and I in when she needed somewhere to go, they were in love for a while but then left. He took care of me like I was his own, which is understandable. I love him like a Dad but I need to know who I really am.
"Yeah, I think so Dad." I tell him confidently. "Well, Jenna will be a little upset. She really wanted to get to know you and be your friend." Oh Jenna just want to be my replacement for Mom. I don't think so.
"Thats okay Dad, I have enough friends." I try to give him an okay smile but it comes out a little awkward. "Alright, Kiddo. Well I do love you and make sure you stop by for a bit sometimes kay? Don't want your mom regretting the idea of you coming down here." He smiles at me and I'm confused. "What do you mean?" I ask him.
"Your Mom she said she wanted you to come down around Christmas time for some reason. She always had a sign for when strange things would happen." He shrugs it off but I am a tad curious. "Well we better get going, you have everything?" Grant asks me erging me to get out the door.
He knows something, and I will find out.
I say my goodbyes and Grant helps gather my bags up and helps me out toward the truck. Charles waves goodby and I wave one more time before we officially don't see the house anymore. I really am going to miss him. Its strange, I never really had a place for him but now that I'm being taken away, there is this ache sort of.
"You okay Blake?" Grant asks me. I look at him and his face is hidden in the darkness. "Yeah." I squeak out. I lay my head against the window and try to think of what Charles meant. It is strange that she wanted me to come down in December around Christmas, but what if she was still here would she have wanted to me come down anyways. Thats the confusing part. I don't get it. Why.
"What did he mean? Grant." I ask him curious and its driving me insane. "Er, you know Charles. He misses your Mom and he just says things." He goes on. Right. I'm still not letting it go. Someone will eventually tell me. I lay back and check my messages on my phone I haven't had it all day and I wonder what Christy will have to say since I wasn't at school.
Five new messages.
Christy: Hey where were u today?
Christy: Hey I have some news Text me!
Christy: You doing okay?
Dad: Hey where you been?
Dad: Blake you need to get home, haven't heard from you all day
Shit, Christy. What will I tell her? That i am now in a pack and it involves the guy you think is in some sort of cult but that cult is really a wolf pack? Crazy much! Ha right! I will just have to text you later, its about nine and she is probably alseep getting ready for school or something.
I set my phone down in my lap. I take some deep breathes, thats all I need some deep breaths.
"So it won't hurt?" I ask for about the millionth time. "Its all different for everyone Blake. You just have to be in control and know where your breaking point is." Molly comforts me.
They are all going out to "hunt". Christian isn't back yet so that means I will be alone in this big house. I guess it will give me a chance to unpack my things into my new room that was my mothers. "Alright, lets get going." Grant says walking out the front door.
"You will be okay, try to think about what your going to do okay?" Molly says getting up and patting my shoulders. I nod at her, upset that they all are leaving, even the boys. I was looking forward to hanging out with them. I say by to them as they walk out the door.
"Don't make a mess will ya." Dray says me as he walks out the door. I give him a smirk and head upstairs.
Since my clothes and other things weren't officially unpacked I didn't have that much work to do back at the house. I start unpacking all of my things, and this time it will all be done. It takes me about thrity minutes to get everything done, bathroom stuff in the bathroom clothes in the right places pictures in the right spots. All ready, I yawn and its about ten thirty so I start to undress and get into my night clothes.
I slip a sweatshirt over my tank top and go to the bathroom all the way at the other end of the hallway to brush my teeth. Its so quiet in the house. Silence.
The girl in the mirror isn't Blake Colby. This girl is a mess, her hair is everywhere her hair knotted, you eyes dark and her face white as can be. I roll my eyes at that girl and brush my teeth and wash my face. I find a towel and dry my face off. I take another deep breath and walk toward my room.
As I lay on my bed under the covers I try to think of myself as a wolf. I wonder what color my coat would be, its so weird thinking of it like this. Who would of thought. I still need to go to Grandmas for the rest of my stuff. Maybe she could give me some more answers I still needed. Why my Mom really left, and what Charles was talking about.
My phone blinks and i have a new message.
Christy: Hey if ur going to school tomorrow text me i'm worried about you
I really should tell her that I'm moving back in with my real Dad, and that I won't be going to school but we could still hang out. Right? I would just feed her the same lie as I did to Charles. Could I do that? We were best friends and now we are what? Nothing really.
I text her slowly typing out each message even slower,
Me: Hey Christy I won't be going to school, I found my real dad how weird huh? I know right, well he lives a little far from North Shore so I will be going to the school up here I am fine and sorry for worrying you all is pretty good-
But before I can write anymore I hear a light tap at my door. "Its open." I say quietly and set the phone down on my lap.
"Its just me." Christian. Hmmm, glad to see him.
"Hey." I sit up and get comfy. "You okay?" I asked him recalling the events of today.
"Yeah, I just couldn't take it. I had to leave for a while." He smiles a little and makes his way toward the bed and sitting down, then I remember I seen his wolf. He was black I think, it was dark so Im not sure what i saw.
"I think I saw your umm, wolf?" I giggle alitte at the word. "Oh, yeah huh. Sorry. I just lost all control. So, your staying for sure?" He asks me getting off the subject. "Hmm, I guess so. Just kind of hanging here." I give him a kid smile and then it becomes silence. "I umm, just wanted to see if you were okay here all by yourself and stuff. Didn't know if you were scared to be alone." He nudges me and kids. Being alone is a horrible feeling. I look down and think of what Christy must be thinking.
"Blake, I'm sorry. I didn't- I " He stutters for words but I let it go.
"Its okay really. I just, I'm trying to figure out what to tell Christy." I say honestly.
"Truthfully, being someone who has been in your place don't."
"What?" I'm confused. "Don't text her, it will just save the confusion.Trust me." He grabs the phone and sets it down on the side table where my lamp shines. I watch the phone not make a buz nor a beep. "I promise, It will get better." Christian tells me and it makes me feel a little better.
I start to giggle at Christy's theory of what Christian was. "What?" He jokes back. "Christy, she thought you were in some sort of devil warshiper cult or something." I giggle some more but he doesn't say a word. His face is expressionless, have I hurt his feelings? "Whats wrong? I'm sorry if I defended you or anything-" He cuts me off with a hand up. Oh shit.
"Blake, I am the devil." He says in a dark voice and it scares me a bit. Then he smiles, and I am shocked that he would pull something like that. I don't know what to say. "I'm kidding! I'm unfortunately not the devil." He admits. I smile and then look him up and down.
His shirt is a tad dirty, and his sweat pants he was wearing earlier have some mud on them and a whole. What happened to him? "I hope you know how to do laundry, cuz' I"m sure Molly isn't going to want to wash those stains out." I kid pointing at them.
"Oh, thats nothing. You should of seen the stains of blood on my shirt this one time. It was bad, took a week to get them out!" He laughs a booming laugh and the word blood scares me. He wouldn't kill a human would he? He's too good, right? Blake, your an idiot, animals bleed to dumb ass. My subconsicous assures me. I relax and then Christian notices my face. "You okay?" He asks me calming down from his laughter. "Yeah, I'm just tired. And scared of what Grant has planned for me." I smile a bit but then lie about the tired part. I like having his company, I feel so alone in this big house. Maybe I should have stayed at Charles.
"Oh." He seems dissapointed, I don't want him to think I don't want him near. "I umm, I should get going too. They should be here soon anyways." He gets up but then i pull him back down onto the bed for some reason. "I like the company." I say quietly.
"Er, Blake, I can't. Not with you. Don't take it the wrong way, umm. This is hard. I just can't you know?" I can't believe him. First he brings me here, leaves me alone and then starts flirting and then says he can't. He can't what, talk to me? "Its fine, I don't need someone like you here anyways." I can play that game too.
His face looks hurt, too damn bad. He should feel hurt, he hurt me. He gets up slowly and opens the door. "Don't take it the wrong way." I tell him in a snotty way. He looks away and then shuts the door.
I become very hot headed. Shit. Why did I just pull that? Whatever, he doesn't want to be whatever with me so, fine. We just won't be friends I guess. As I lay down, I think what he said to me that night that we broke the light bulb or me or him. Whoever! He said that he couldn't be my friend or whatever, but then he takes me out here and is all nice to me. Whatever. I take a deep breath. Calm down Blake, its been a long day. I breath and try to relax.
Just breath, Just breath.