I told Tori I loved her last night and I couldn't be happier. I gave one of the best acting performances of my life for our short film. My performance is tomorrow and I'm excited to finally be able to have my moment. I'm doing really well, and it's been a long time since I've been able to say that and actually mean it.
I walk into school and immediately walk towards Tori's locker. I see her standing with her back to me, so naturally it's the perfect opportunity. I sneak up behind her and shout "BOO!" as I wave my hands like a mad person.
She jumps, screams, and puts a hand over her chest. "AHH!" She whips around and sees me standing there. She's so easy to scare. "WHY? WHY would you do that?!"
"I'm sorry," I laugh, "I just couldn't resist." I smile and say in between in laughs. "I got you this, by the way." I hand her a coffee.
She squints her eyes at me, taking the coffee skeptically. "You didn't get this one out of the garbage this time, did you?"
I roll my eyes. "Vega, do you really think I'd still do something like that to you?" She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Drink it." I grin.
She goes to take a sip and then looks at me. "Are you sure you didn't poison it?"
Once again, I roll my eyes. "Just drink it."
She slowly takes a sip, and a moment later looks up at me. "Awwww you got my order!"
"Of course I did, only the best for my girl." I wink. "If I'm the one kissing you, do you really think I'd get you something disgusting?"
"Ugh, I'm sorry," she puts a hand on my arm. "Thank you." She bats her eyes at me. Should I tell her now that I actually did get it out of the garbage, and that it's just a coincidence that it was her order?
"Yeah, yeah, it's no big deal," I smile. I'm the worst.
Beck and Andre come around the corner. "Hey guys!" We both greet them back.
"Jade, your performance is tomorrow, are you excited?" Andre asks.
I nod my head. "I'm pretty psyched for it, yeah."
"So what are you going to sing?" Beck asks. Oh boy, the song was written about him to begin with. That's awkward.
"Looks like you're just going to have to wait and find out," I tease.
"Ouch, the coldness," he says, putting his hand to his heart as if it's been wounded and everyone laughs.
Andre looks at Tori's coffee cup and realizes it has someone else's name written on it. I honestly don't know how she didn't notice that when I handed it to her. "Uh, hey, Tori?" he says suspiciously.
"Yeah, what's up?" She asks after taking another sip.
"Oh there's the bell! Gotta go!" I grab Tori's hand and yank her away before Andre says something to blow my cover. She's resisting and arguing that the bell didn't go off the entire time, and then next thing she knows we're in the blackbox theater.
"Why did you do that?" She laughs.
I grin. "No reason. Although, I've never been this early for class before. You're ruining my reputation, Vega."
"Oh you love me," she smirks.
"Don't flatter yourself," I wink at her.
She laughs and then there's a silent pause. I look at her and she starts to get a sad gaze, in which I question her for. "I wish we could be together publicly," she says. "I don't think anyone would really care-"
"No!" I exclaim. "Tori, I'm not prepared for that."
"What's so wrong about being with me?" She asks with a sad tone.
I shake my head. "No, nothing, Tori! You're perfect! That's not at all what I meant! I just, I'm not ready for people to know, you know?"
She shrugs her shoulders and looks down. "I know. That's okay, just figured I'd mention it. It's no big deal."
"Tori," I say apologetically.
"No really, it's okay."
I tuck her hair behind her ear and cup her face. "You know how much I wish I was ready? I want nothing more than to show you off to everyone, but I'm just, I'm not ready to come out yet." She nods her head in understanding. I lift her chin and bring her lips to meet mine gently. It breaks and she smiles at me. "Ah, there she is. Now come on, perk up. I need my girl happy." She smiles more and rolls her eyes at me. There we go. Much better.
--------------------- LATER THAT EVENING ---------------------
I sit on my couch in my black velvet robe with my hair wrapped up in a towel. I'm enjoying a nice bowl of freshly microwaved popcorn and I'm just relaxing. I'm cherishing my final moments before my showcase tomorrow and I'm watching a cliche love movie. I know, I'm disgusted too. I'm not even really paying attention, but if Allie doesn't pick Noah over James then I'm going to kill Tori for making me want to watch this.
I hear a knock at my door and shout, "go away!" The knocking continues and I groan loudly as I roll my eyes. I pause the movie and take my hair out of the towel, running my fingers through it as I open the door irritatedly. I'm so ready to yell at some girl scout or whoever could possibly be-
"Hey..."
I stand still and confused. "Beck? What are you doing here?" I shake my head. Why is he here?
"Can I come in?" He asks softly.
"Uh, no?" I squint my eyes at him. "Not until you tell me why you're here?"
He itches the side of his head. "Look, will you just let me in?"
I roll my eyes and move out of the way. "Whatever, but you have five minutes."
I slam the door shut so he knows I'm annoyed and I turn to him with my arms crossed. He invites himself to sitting on my couch. "Come sit" he says.
"I'm good standing," I say. "Look, just cut to the chase, okay?"
"Okay," he folds his hands and rests his elbows on his knees. "I've noticed that you have been acting differently lately," he explains, "and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."
I don't believe this. "Since when are my feelings any of your business, detective?" I ask sternly.
"Jade, just because we broke up doesn't mean I stopped caring for you."
"Well you should. I don't need it."
"I'm just trying to help-"
"Well maybe I don't need your help. I'm fine. Great, actually. I've never been happier." Despite this being true, I show no emotion in my face when I state it, which only makes him question me even more.
He doesn't talk for a few moments before saying, "So you're really okay?"
"Yes, I am. Is that what you came all the way here to talk to me about? You know you could've just texted?"
He nods. "It's easier to tell if you're lying or not in person," he explains.
I roll my eyes at him. "Well thanks for the concern, but it's really not needed nor none of your business. Now, If you excuse me, I'm in the middle of doing something and would like to get back to doing it."
He glances at the TV and raises an eyebrow. "You're watching The Notebook?"
"Yeah, so?" I ask annoyed.
He says questionably, "It's just that, I always tried to get you to watch that with me and you always refused and called it stupid... why are you watching it now?"
I put my hands on my hips. "So? A person can't change their mind?"
He smirks. "I guess they can."
I stare at him blankly. He stares at me back. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to leave now?" This is the dumbest, most pointless conversation I've ever had.
"I guess so." He gets up and opens the door. Before he walks away he turns back once more and adds, "Oh, nice robe by the way."
I look down and cross my arms over myself to hide my exposed skin. "Thanks. Goodnight, Beck." I say dismissively.
"Goodnight, Jade," he flashes one last smile at me and closes the door. I look out the window and watch him leave in his truck. I remember one time I bent his arm the wrong direction until he gave in to letting me drive it. I should've bent his arm tonight to make him leave. That was just absolutely absurd. Why does he care so much? I don't even think about him anymore, yet he's showing up at my doorstep late at night? Oh well. That's his issue, not mine.
--------------------- THE NEXT MORNING --------------------
I wake up and realize it's performance day. "This is it," I say aloud to myself. I do every day casual my hair and makeup and get dressed for the day. When I get to school I see Tori waiting at my locker for me.
I walk up and immediately blurt out, "so Beck came over last night? It was such an inconvenience and extremely pointless."
She tilts her head. "Um.... why was Beck over?"
I throw my hands in the air. "I have no idea! He was asking if I was okay and saying I was acting differently and I was just like dude, go away and leave me be? It was ridiculous and stupid, I don't even know why he came. I kicked him out like five times before he finally left." She doesn't really say anything. I take a deep breath. "Sorry, I know that that must be weird for you having him randomly drop by my house. I'd freak out too if someone you dated showed up at your house at 10 o'clock at night."
"Well no, it must have been weirder for you. And obviously you didn't want him there, so why would I freak out? That's just silly. If you tell me something like that then I obviously believe you."
I look at her. "What, you mean you're not mad?"
She looks confused. "Should I be?"
"No! Not at all, it's just that I'm not used to non-jealous behavior, that's all."
"It's okay, I get it. But hey, on a different note, your performance is tonight! How stoked are you?' She's all smiley and excited. How is she so laid back and understanding? I could never.
"I'm more excited to hang out with you afterwards." I tease and wink. She laughs and shakes her head at me and the bell rings. "I'll meet you at your house before the show to get ready, okay?" She discretely blows me a kiss and walks away as I reply back with an okay.
--------------------- LATER (AGAIN) ---------------------
"Okay, close your eyes!" I say excitedly, all dressed up. Tori sits in my spinny desk chair with her back to me so I can give her a big reveal (even though she already knows what I'm wearing).
"The eyes are closed!" she says.
I smile amused. "Alright, alright, turn around."
The beautiful brunette whips around and immediately her jaw drops. I strike a few poses and twirl around for her. "Jade, you look... wow." I blush and look away so she doesn't see. I still don't like that I'm such a softy now with her. "You look hands down, absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. And so, so sexy." She looks me up and down slowly, coming towards me for a kiss.
"Whoa calm down there, Vega." I pause and look at her, desperate for me. "Awwww, does someone want something?" I ask in a dominating tone. She nods. "Well, it's going to have to wait until after the show. I have something special planned for afterwards."
"What? Jaaaade, do you really?"
"Yes, I do! And there's to be no kissing until after the show. Build it all up, Vega." She whines and continue to taunt her with flirtatious, teasing statements. After a while of this, and lots of begging on her end, I get really close to her. I act as if I'm going to kiss her neck, and instead whisper in her ear, "If you're desperate for me now, just wait and see how bad you want me later." I walk backwards away from her, looking her up and down and winking after. I'm being so cruel, but it's going to be so worth it later.
We arrive at Hollywood Arts and I 'm alone backstage with Tori. I look at her before she heads to the audience. "Thanks for everything you've done for me," I say. She holds my hand and is beaming. "Of course, it led to something amazing. Good luck, beautiful." She gives me a huge hug and kisses me on the cheek. I guess I'll let that one slide because it was for me, not her.
"I love you," I say. "I love you too," she echoes back.
I turn and see Sikowitz standing in the wings, gazing in my direction. I walk up to him. "Did you...?"
He nods his head. "It's so nice to see you guys finally together."
I shake my head in shock. "What?!"
"Why do you think I made you guys go on a date to play your roles as parents? Or why I made you Tori's Secret Santa? Or why I always pair you two together for acting exercises?"
I blush. "I don't know, I guess it's just weird because no one really knows about it."
He chuckles. "Yeah, I mean you guys locking lips during my class was pretty much a huge giveaway. Your friends may have been fooled, but I wasn't. I've known you guys were meant for each other for quite a bit, I just needed you kids to figure that out for yourselves." He grins widely, and I grin back.
I decide to confide in him. "Sikowitz, I'm scared to tell people about us, but mostly about me. I'm just afraid that no one will look at me the same. I know she wants to be public, but I just am too scared."
He nods his head. "I understand. Look," he paces slowly. "I know it can be scary putting yourself out there like that. Being vulnerable is scary for you, it's no secret to me. And it's okay to be afraid. It's okay to not be ready. But eventually you'll reach a point where the fear of not doing something will become greater than the actual fear itself, and that's when it'll click for you. That's when you do it. You understand?"
I nod my head, wiping a tear droplet from my eye. "Thanks, Sikowitz. I really needed to hear that."
He gives me a quick hug and smiles. "It's what I'm here for. Now go out there and make them feel the way coconut milk makes me feel." I give him a weirded out look and he just smiles, so I smile back and decide that he's right.
I'm going to make them feel like coconut milk.
That's so weird.