I hadn't told a soul about what happened with Noah last night. Andrew had seen some of it, of course, and so had Ava, but thankfully they were both cool about it.
I knew I needed to talk to someone about it, even though I didn't want to. I knew from experience that my depressions seemed to come creeping back when I kept everything inside. The darkness and the sadness would surround me and pull me down. I couldn't risk it again.
So, after doing a mental checklist about positives and negatives by telling either my brother or my best friend first, I settled for Sara. I asked her at school if we could have dinner together. She got immediately worried as she sensed that something was up, but agreed when I promised to tell her everything that was going on. We decided to order some Chinese food, and she'd come over to my house since I wasn't working.
It was just before seven when Sara came bursting through the front door with a bag of food in her hand. A cold breeze blew in behind her and she hurried to close the door.
I lived alone in a small ranch-style house I inherited when my dad passed away. It was a little outdated, but more than enough space for me. The rooms weren't big, but there was one master bedroom and 2 spare bedrooms that shared a full bath in the hallway. There was a small kitchen and a living room, dining room combo.
"Wow, you made it here quick. Did you skip out early?"
Sara spent part of her week at the pediatric department of the hospital. Her plan was to become a pediatric nurse once we graduated.
"No, I just drove faster than I should've, I guess."
I raised an amused eyebrow.
"Em, you better start freaking talking," she demanded as she walked past me into the kitchen and put the bag of food down on the countertop. "I know something happened and I've been stressed about it all freaking day."
"It did," I agreed.
I reached for a couple of plates in the upper cabinet and put them on the counter next to the food. Sara wiggled out of her jacket and walked back to the door to hang it up on an empty hook next to where my winter coats were.
"Is it Noah?" She asked, and I realized she sounded worried. She must've been stressed about it.
"Yes," I agreed. "Let's take the food and go sit, and I'll tell you everything that has happened."
She studied me intently for a few seconds before she settled for, "fine."
"Do you want wine, Sara? I have ice tea too."
"Let's do ice tea since I'm driving."
"Okay."
I took the ice tea out of the refrigerator and poured us both a glass. I heard Sara open the boxes of food. She proceeded to scoop some onto our plates and carried them into the dining part of the living space. I picked up the glasses and followed behind her.
Sara took one of the chairs at the long end of the table, and I took the chair on the opposite side. There wasn't anything special about it, other than it had been my parents, like most of the things in the house. It was a light rectangular wooden table that fit two chairs on each side and one on each end.
"So before you start," Sara said, and looked me straight in the eyes. Her red hair had curled up from the moisture with the light snow and stood like an aura around her head. "Are you okay, or do I have to kill him?"
I started to laugh. She was so fiercely protective of me, and I loved her for that.
"I'm good, Sara. Promise."
She took a bite of the food but continued to study me.
"Okay," she said finally. "Tell me what happened."
I took a gulp of the ice tea to get myself ready. Then I leaned back on the chair and told her everything that happened. Sara was unusually quiet when I finished.
"Sara," I nudged her. "Say something, please? Do you think I'm making a mistake?"
She chewed on her lip and I knew she was in deep thought, but I was too impatient to wait.
"Sara?"
She looked up and met my eyes. "Eh... Em, I'm not sure what to say other than wow."
I got that. I kind of felt the same. I just wasn't sure whether it was a good "wow" or a bad one.
"Yeah, it has been a little crazy."
"I can see that." She flashed me a quick smile. "Maybe you should open that bottle of wine. I can just crash in your spare room."
"Okay."
Sara had stayed over so many times that it was almost like she had her own room in my house. She had some toiletries, a pair of PJs, a spare set, or two, of clothes, and an extra blanket if it got too cold, stuffed into the tiny closet. The bedroom used to be my brothers. I repainted it white and decorated it with blue bedding and curtains when I inherited the house. It was neat and clean even though the furniture was old.
I walked into the kitchen to grab the wine. I was a bit confused by Sara's response. She'd been unusually quiet, and I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. So I was unsure if we needed the wine to celebrate because she thought it was good news, or because she was going to tell me I was an idiot and use the wine to calm me down.
Sara cleaned off the table and came into the kitchen with the empty plates just when I got the bottle open.
"Oh, I like that one," she grinned.
"I know." It was one of our cheaper favorites.
She opened the dishwasher and put the plates and utensils away and threw the garbage out. I took down a couple of wine glasses and poured a good amount of wine into them.
"Nice pour," she said appreciatively, and took the glasses with her back to the table while I put the leftovers in the fridge. We'd always worked efficiently together.
"So," I said once we were seated again, and she'd taken her first sip of the cold white wine. "What do you think?"
She leaned back on the chair and put her feet up on the empty one next to her, trying to get comfortable.
"It definitely changes my perception of him now that I have heard his side."
I nodded slowly. That had been my reaction as well. "I agree. I never thought my moving affected him as much as it did."
"I guess that, in addition to him not getting into the college he wanted, and your friend putting some kind of move on him or whatever the hell it was that she was doing. What was that all about, anyway?"
I had wondered that too. Without hearing Angela's version, it definitely seemed like she was the person to blame.
"Let's move to the couch," I said and got to my feet. I couldn't get comfortable on the dining room chair no matter how much I tried. "I think we need some chocolate, too."
"Ohhh, yeah. Good thinking."
Sara took our glasses over to the couch and I found some dark chocolate in my secret chocolate stash.
"Now," Sara began when we were situated on the couch with our wine and chocolate. "Tell me about this Angela. What's her deal?"
"I don't know. Whatever she told Noah about me hugging some guy in school or whatever, just isn't true. I have no idea what picture she showed him."
I shifted my weight on the couch and pulled my legs up underneath me. Sara had taken a blanket out of the basket next to the couch and draped it over her legs, but somehow still managed to hold on to the wineglass in her hand.
"So, do you think it was an old picture she showed him?"
That was an excellent question.
"I didn't ask Noah for details, so I have no idea what the guy looked like, or even if his face was visible. I just can't believe she did that. She was my best friend."
"It's really shitty."
I nodded and thought back to when Angela and I were friends. We'd gone to school together for a while, but we didn't become best friends until junior high. Once we'd started to hang out together, we were inseparable until I started to date Noah.
I still considered her my best friend at the time, and we hung out and did some things together, like shopping and going to school activities, but I spent more and more time with Noah.
"Did she like him?" Sara asked, and brought me back from my thoughts.
"Based on what she did, I'll say yes, but back then, that never occurred to me. I mean, it's possible. A lot of girls did."
"Hm," Sara snorted, "My guess is she wanted him all along and she took the chance as soon as you were out of the picture."
Could Angela really have been that cruel that she had planned it?
"Did you and Angela stay in touch?" Sara asked.
"A little, like the first couple of days, but not stopped as soon as someone texted me pictures of her and Noah making out, and I found out they slept together."
I leaned my head back against the couch. "I never talked to her again after that. I did call Noah, and he didn't deny it. That was the last time I talked to him until he showed up last week."
"Okay, and when was the last time you talked to her?"
I took a slow sip of my wine and looked over at Sara. She had pulled her phone out and answered a quick text.
"Em, isn't that a little strange that you only talked to your best friend a few times after you moved away? I mean, if I left now we'd talk every day, even if I just went on vacation."
"True," I giggled. "You're right."
"Yeah." Sara put the wine glass down and scooped her hair up into a high ponytail. "I am thinking she screwed you over big time and he fell for it."
I shook my head slowly. I just couldn't believe she did that. That she planned that...
"So what are you gonna do now about Noah?"
My heart started to beat faster at just the thought of seeing him. We had agreed to dinner, but that was as far as I was willing to go, at this time. I still wasn't sure I could trust him.
"You clearly still care for him, and he seems to care for you. I'm just scared that you'll get hurt again," Sara said, and pulled her legs up onto the couch to sit like me, and wrapped the blanket closer around her.
"I know. I am too."
"I'd suggest you wait until the girl is out of the picture before you agree to go on a date."
"Definitely."
I'd already made it very clear to Noah that I would not go anywhere with him if he was still in any kind of relationship with someone else. It didn't matter if it was just dinner as friends.
"You are happy then, Em? This is what you want?"
I nodded slowly.
"Yes, I'm glad we got a chance to talk it out. I mean, I wish I would've known all of this back then, but at least we have cleared the air. Maybe relieved is a better word?"
Sara smiled.
"If nothing else comes out of this, then a dinner with an ex-boyfriend to just catch up on life. I'm okay with that, and I have no other expectations."
Maybe I was secretly hoping for more, but we'd take one step at a time. I would not allow him to hurt me again. That old saying, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me," was front and center in my mind.
"I can tell by your smile that you're happy, but I can't help but worry. Em, you have to promise that you stay on top of this. If there is anything, and I mean a n y t h i n g that bothers you, you have to talk to someone about it."
"I know and I will. I can't let him, or anyone, get to me like that ever again."
"I'm proud of you." Sara smiled and raised her wineglass to me before she took a long, slow sip of her wine. "Have you heard from him today?"
"Just a quick text saying that he'll call me later in the week."
"Okay."
"Speaking about texts, have you heard from Andrew?"
She gave me a devilish smile and nodded.
"Oh my god, Sara," I groaned. "When were you gonna tell me?"
"Em, I was a little more concerned about what's going on with you to bring up your hot boss."
I didn't know whether to grimace at the fact that she called Andrew hot, or be grateful that I had such a wonderful friend. In the end, the affection for my friend won.
"I love you, Sara."
"Love you too, Em."
"So, are you and Andrew going on a date?" I asked excitedly.
"Yeah, we're going out on Friday."
Sara and I sat on the couch, each one of us in our own thoughts. It was getting late and the bottle of wine was almost completely empty when my phone rang.
"It's Noah," I said out loud.
Sara pushed up from the couch. "I'll take that as my hint to get ready for bed."
I smiled at her and swiped the screen to answer his call. "Hello."
"Em," his voice sounded deeper on the phone and I felt my stomach tighten, which wasn't good. I didn't want to allow him that kind of power again.
"Hi, Noah."
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm just sitting here, finishing a glass of wine. I had dinner with Sara."
"That sounds nice."
"It is. What are you doing?"
"Laying in bed watching Monday night football."
I smiled. I could totally picture his long-toned body under the covers, his head propped up on the pillows, with his arm bent up above his head. Remembering how he used to lie made me chuckle. "Is your arm above your head?" I asked.
"Yeah," he answered in a surprised tone. "How did you know?"
"You always used to lie like that."
"I should have figured you remembered," he chuckled.
I got up from the table and walked into the kitchen to put the empty glass in the sink.
Noah cleared his voice. "I talked to Laura," he started.
"Okay."
"I told her our little arrangement was over."
My breath caught in my throat. "And," I whispered, "how did she take it?"
"Not great. She was upset and mad, but I made it clear that I was done."
"Okay."
"I know it may be too soon to ask, but I miss you, Em. Can I take you out for dinner this week?"
My heart rate picked up.
"O k a y," I said slowly. "As friends. We go to dinner as friends, Noah."
"Yeah, okay," his voice softened and I could picture him smiling and rubbing at his hair. "Is tomorrow too soon?" he asked, hesitantly.
I hesitated for a minute. Agreeing with that might make me see to eager, but I had a big project due on Wednesday, so Tuesday was better.
"Okay, that works."
"Great."
"I work till six."
"How about I meet you at work and we can go out from there?"
"Sounds good."
"Great. Have a good night, Em. I'll see you on tomorrow."
"Good night Noah."
"Night Em."