I enjoyed my time of solitude.
There are days when I feel I need to detox my mind from all the forced social communication.
I don't like to talk unless I'm particularly perky, but that is considered rude so I have to push some words from my mouth to please certain acquaintances and even reciprocate kind enquiries.
I appraised my surroundings while I could feel the combination of unavoidably murky slush below a scattered carpet of grass under my neon sneakers.
We were in Horsley Hills and I woke up earlier than I'd like to because I was too cold for my peace of mind and the morning weather was a good time to take a walk.
I steered up the path, my hands deep in my pockets.
Once Kabir and I got the dreaded exam results, taking a nice holiday seemed to be the next course of action.
Of course, my mere 7.4 CGPA (twinning with Sanya) wasn't any reason enough to celebrate but Kabir aced it as usual. I don't quite remember but his percentage was floating close to distinction.
I don't know whether I should have been amused or jealous. We participated in the same activities and wasted measurably the same amount of time. He even had cricket coaching to top it off. Yet, when I muttered my marks to him, he congratulated me and dismissed it in the next sentence only to talk about the chaat shop that opened the next street and when we could visit it.
His indifference towards some things in life which others may consider vital was only refreshing somehow...
I dug my hands into my sweater and inched closer to the higher ground, humming quietly.
The resort we were staying in retained most of the greenery and the stone path winded up the fence which was partially unnoticeable because of the early morning mist enraptured it in all its fantastical glory.
I think my thoughts drifted somewhere into the fluffy mist, weaving a little imaginary web in my mind while admiring the lush greenery that flanked me on both sides.
I spent another five minutes looking over the abandoned road over the fence when I noticed two shady men ogling at me while taking noisy sips from a paper cup.
I gave them a withering look and retraced my steps back.
Mrs D'Souza and my mother were setting plates on the verandah on a circular table.
I brushed my teeth so I could go and demand my complimentary breakfast.
"Where are you coming from?" My mother asked, dusting her hands. I noticed a dosa and some egg rolls on her plate.
I gestured behind me. "Nothing.Just looking around simply."
"What is there to look around?" She asked, her eyebrows knitting together. My mother, the social butterfly-wasn't one to find simple joy in walking up a slope.
"Now all of you are late. The food will get over before you children go to eat," She chided.
"Go, call the others also and come on down fast. We need to keep going if we have to see places." Mrs D'Souza spoke before plunging the spoon into her mouth.
I took the elevator to my floor.
Saloni was fidgeting with the doorknob while Siya looked up at me, her eyes lined with metallic blue kajal, matching her robe like Kurti.
"Breakfast..." I told and my sister snorted.
"We are ready. Call those douches in the next room." She said, fastening her hair clutch.
I wanted to knock but the door was ajar.
David was brushing his hair and whistling. He noticed me and stopped mid-air.
With a wide grin, he began combing again, "What are you here for?"
I ignored his tone. "Your mother asked me to call you before the breakfast service gets over."
He tossed his brush away. "I'm going downstairs. Tried to wake him up, didn't budge. Do your best. "
Mr Junior Jha was wrapped like a mummy with the sheets and I for one knew what a heavy sleeper he was.
David was flitting away the next moment, I turned in time to see him trying to move the doorknob as quietly as possible as if the slightest jerk would destroy the rosy moment in the room.
I surveyed the room. Decor in cool, therapeutic shades. The bedspread was an aqua blue, spread hastily over the mattress with too many crinkles to count.
However, on the left side of the bed, there were some mounds that outlined the person comfortably tucked under the sheets at 7 in the morning, his steady breathing indicated that he was still in La La Land.
I was upset that I had to be the one facing the wrath and his friend skillfully left me to the job of waking the fellow up.
I got punched in the eye when I was 6 and I attempted the feat.
I recovered with a bruised eye and a plastered smile on my face because I didn't want to give Kabir the satisfaction of seeing me bawl because I was one of those unlucky species whose eyes swell up with tears when they're angry.
It didn't even occur to me that I should probably attempt to use my fists back at him then.
I sat at the very end of the bed and poked him experimentally on his shoulder and waited.
I didn't know how it would feel to get punched by your deemed boyfriend. Must be vaguely humiliating and I didn't want to experience it.
However, movements under the sheets perked me up.
He was turning over in his sleep.
"I think they're calling you downstairs Kabir..."
I spoke and realised that I had to be more audible for a drowsy person to hear me.
I inhaled to speak with a brisk, energetic tone that would be helpful in my current state.
However, a moment later the sheets were pulled down from his face and his eyes were wrinkled, narrow slits before recognition set in when they fell on me.
"Oh, it is you! I thought I was imagining it...." He mumbled in a husky voice and stretched his arms over his head before resting it like a makeshift pillow below his head.
And he muttered something else under his breath that I couldn't quite make out. But his eyelids shut resolutely and I was still perched by the side of the bed, ignored.
"Breakfast gets over in half an hour," I said because I knew he couldn't fall into a deep slumber within moments.
And he heard me because his mouth moved in an incoherent mumble. His eyebrows furrowed as if he was mildly irritated even.
It looked extremely adorable if I might add.
However, I wasn't keen on admiring a sleeping boy while the others were having their sumptuous breakfast a storey below.
My stomach growled lowly in a warning.
On instinct, I picked up the pillow that would have previously belonged to David and hit him squarely in the shoulder.
It seemed to get his attention because he opened his brown eyes more prominently this time and he flopped over and squinted at the clock.
"Oh, right..." He nodded sagely and stifled a yawn. "Coming..."
I watched him painstakingly pull himself off the bed and peel away the thin bedsheets that clung to him like a second skin.
He was sporting the most antiquated Backstreet Boys Jersey and a pair of mustard trousers that hung loosely on his slim frame. As did most of his clothes.
I tore my gaze from my inspection and our eyes locked.
He no longer looked as soporific and he pushed his floppy hair back and his coffee eyes focused on me. New, white rays filtered through the window, illuminating his frame as if he was some heavenly being.
I meekly told him that I was going downstairs to join the gang.
His chin tilted down in a microscopic moment and his eyes danced. "Okay, if that's what you want...To leave just like that..." He shook his head in mock disappointment, tugging his rollaboard from below the bed.
He was on his knees, rummaging through his things.
"Okay fine. I'll sit here till you get ready." I told and rested back on the bed. The cushion bounced. I flopped down once again to duplicate the moment.
Kabir hid a smile. "I'll take a shower and be back in two minutes..." He told standing up with the essentials tucked under his arm.
He lied. He took quite some time and had the audacity to sing loudly from the bathroom and even ask me for a lyric he forgot.
I couldn't believe how chirpy he had suddenly become, talking brightly about some college he applied to while brushing his hair and checking his reflection.
I pointed at the clock, "Can you read time by any chance? "
"Can you bear with me for a moment?" Kabir reached for a bottle of moisturizer.
I gave up in life when he picked the third bottle.
"Sunscreen!" He defended himself, noticing my nonplussed expression, "And you should be happy if you miss today's soggy breakfast. I'll treat you somewhere else.A better place outside, you know."
"Thanks for the generous offer but that's not the point..." I said, "Our parents will be annoyed because I came here 20 minutes ago."
"See I'm ready!" He squirted himself with the perfume repeatedly over his torso until I rolled my eyes.
He raised his hands. "I'm done. We can leave."
I pulled the key from the holder and the electricity in the room turned off.
"I'm locking you in!" I threatened and failed to look serious.
However, he was apprehensively hopping on one foot, trying to adjust his shoes.
I let him hop me before I finally locked the door behind us
Breakfast was served in an airy extension of the resort, a verandah where circular tables were parked and we could admire the unperturbed lush forests that were until then beyond the reach of commercialisation.
Nothing attracted me on the table than the colourful array of breakfast cereals on the right.
I poured some steaming milk in my bowl and watched the colourful pieces of Lucky Charms float in fascination.
No one looked up from their absorbing conversation when I reached our table until I scooted next to Saloni.
"We're going for the waterfalls so you all better get some extra clothes and all." Mr Jha instructed and took a sip of tea.
"On the way, there's some other boating place I heard..." Mrs.Dsouza intervened while the teenagers kept themselves away from the itinerary discussion.
I simply harked in to the conversation and stirred the milk in my bowl.
I could make out the silhouette of Kabir, focusing on some trees with his DSLR camera.
He brushed a few locks of hair off his forehead, observing the shot before attempting again.
I refocused on the people at my table and met Mrs.Jha's eyes.
I lowered my eyelids in the excuse of adjusting my clothes.
I should probably stop openly gawking at her son if I shouldn't make things more obvious.
It had been two months since the day of that concert and there was a thick tension in the air whenever I encountered his mother.
Of course, we used to get on well together and she loved me, enough to share some of her favourite novels from her childhood collection, just not enough to share her teenage son.
Kabir couldn't have picked a worse moment to approach me:
"Hey, why don't you stand there, I'll take a picture of you, maybe?"
I plastered a little smile on my face, "You know I'm not that good in front of the camera...I don't think--"
He rolled his eyes, "I'm not asking you to ramp walk. I know you're just lazy... Get up."
And casually, he clutched my wrist and Mrs Jha looked alarmed now.
She watched pointedly at us while Kabir told me not to stand like a military officer.
What did we do differently? Was it the hand touching? WHAT IS IT??
Mr.Jha's Innova was standing in all its brilliant, brand new arrogance behind the lobby building, with all the aesthetic rose bushes in the background.
Mr D'Souza had the back of the car opened and was standing over it, waiting to be bombarded with the picnic supplies.
I reached for the door and bent the seats down and hoisted myself to occupy the honourable third row of the vehicle as clumsily as possible.
I moved over to the sides of the window, noticing the frosted glass.
The next moment Kabir was also getting in and I uncomfortably shifted a bit in the seat as if he was some mortal danger.
Kabir picked up my expression fast and moved his feet to the other end. There was space for another person's anatomy to be accommodated between us.
I peeked out of the window as if we were on an epic journey in Shimla and attempted to fascinate myself with the slightly mouldy wooden frame that encircled the parking.
"You got a change of clothes?" Kabir asked and I turned away from the window and pushed myself into my seat for a comfortable position to continue the conversation.
He was looking at the window and to the front of the car. "...And, nice dress."
One thing I comprehended about Kabir is that when he complimented, he meant it. So I gazed down to see what was special in my clothes.
I was as usual sporting a comfortable cotton dress that didn't hug my figure snugly because it would have to wrap around quite some flabs if it did, gifted by the large Cheetos packets and milk chocolates that I gobbled eagerly.
It was bluish-green with some floral patterns and flowed till my ankle. It was new, my sister forced it on me when she visited a discount sale in Big Bazaar.
"Isn't this usual?"
His lips turned upwards a little. "Blue is my favourite colour," He replied simply.
Why, why I thought I'd known everything there could ever be about Kabir. Man never ceases to learn!
I was going to reply when something hit me squarely on the face.
"Your sweater," Siya told in a bored tone standing near the door of the car. "Forget everything and just come and sit here like a queen. Then you'll sit there and sneeze endlessly and ma will say I have to take care of you because I'm older."
I gave her a desperate look which she ignored and began describing my bad habits expressly. Kabir was just sitting silently, looking from sister to sister.
"Um, thank you for your concern," I whispered and she climbed into the car with a smirk and squeezed herself between us.
"Just because you don't care about us, don't think we also don't." She said and smirked. She was playing!
"Won't you also get your turn? I'll return your favour!" I hissed quietly in her ear.
"Ah, of course, Gussi we'll see."
"What did you call her?" The familiar voice cut in.
David was approaching us with a bag of fries.
"Just a pet name. It doesn't mean anything. I just kept calling her Gussi when she was a baby. She would laugh when I called her so."
"Oh."
"Why don't you have pet names for each other?" Siya asked, picking a fry from David's bag of chips.
"Why don't you just shut up,"I suggested kindly.
"...Sweetheart, baby, darling..." She nudged Kabir not too subtly in the ribs. "C'mon you can't be that boring! Tell me what is it? Nowadays you're meeting alone without me also so I'm sure there are some special ways you call each other!"
Kabir chuckled and shook his head.
"That's so unromantic, but whatever."
"Is this how your talk to two high school children?" I demanded.
"Children?" Siya snorted. "Says the girl who was crushing on a guy since middle school."
My eyes were going to pop out.I slid back into my seat, probably my face changing colour.
David, however, had a view of my embarrassed face from where he was standing. "I think I can take a wild guess who that could be... " He mused, pulling the seater down to sit on.
Kabir was again unwilling to break the awkward silence. He was probably appalled himself.
Siya leaned over and whispered something into Kabir's ear. His eyes locked on me and he let out a breathy laugh and turned to her. "Stop it."
Siya enjoyed that. Having secret conversations with Kabir which she refused to let me on.
I huffed and turned away, trying to fake disinterest. I swallowed when the whispers continued and pretended to dust something off my clothes because there was nothing to do with my hands.
The two were noticing and a chuckle broke out.
"Didn't I tell you? She's so predictable!" My sister said.
Kabir was grinning.
"Now she'll drink water. See, see," My sister said just when I was going to grab the bottle from David. I planted it back in his hands.
"What's your problem?" I asked and attacked her.
She fell back on her seat, muttering a sorry between her laughter.
Mrs D'Souza was going to get into the front seat. She looked at us and smiled.
"You children remind me of myself and my sister." She told with a fond smile. I noticed the protein drink she was carrying in the hand which she kept on the cup holder for later probably. "We also had quite an age difference too."
Of course, I had seen quite a lot of siblings who didn't give a rat's arse about each other when their age difference exceeded five years. The elder sibling probably considered themselves mature and all-knowing, enlightened better than the halo behind Guru Nanak's head.
I glanced at my sister now, whose laughter was dying down. She had a bad cold which made her laughter sound like a pig's grunt and she didn't quite mind.
I didn't find any big difference in our maturity. Really.
My mother was getting in with the picnic basket and her friend's eyes squinted into the car until her eyes were fixed on the latter's innocent female children.
Suddenly, I was so glad that Siya sat like a referee in between myself and Kabir.
Mrs Jha's eyes too zeroed in on me.
Her features were reminiscent if her son or should I say vice versa, the delicate square face, the firm M-shaped lips... But it was the eyes that were too eerily similar. The deep mocha eyes rimmed with thick lashes.
I wondered why I didn't notice the stark resemblance before. Maybe it was because Mrs Jha was a little more generous in her figure that you probably could overlook the square jawline because of the double chin.
My muse was interrupted when Mr.D'Souza asked us if we had everything set in the car. After the thumbs-up was given, the vehicle purred to life.
Mr.Jha told us he wasn't going to take us to the tourist spots without the insurance of a hygienic place to have a change of clothes and take a warm shower.
"My client has a farmhouse here, we used to come all the time. We can also have a good home-cooked lunch." Mr D'Souza said.
The farmhouse was located in a place of higher altitude and the car swirled around thee cliffs, greenish landscape flanking the uneven path on either side. Pale yellow blades of grass fluttered in the wind, appearing aesthetically contrasting to the sky that was enunciated with bold strokes of pastel colours.
While I soaked in the sight, the car swerved right into a half-closed rusted gate that screeched while a man in a striped blue dhoti peeled one side open and beamed at us.
Some hens fluttered their wings out of the way as the car roared into the pathway textured with rubble.
David took his backpack and got down to fold the leather seat for us to squeeze ourselves out.
Mr D'Souza was already having an intense discussion with the man in the dhoti and his wife, I suppose, who seemed to be the caretakers of the estate.
I perked up to the aroma of something being cooked, like fish, clouding my senses.
I attempted to locate the source of the divine smell.
Mr.D'Souza must have caught me looking lustily at the sizzling pan where three pieces of fish were being fried.
The lady was soaking little kababs in exotic masala and placing them tenderly on a banana leaf.
"If go for a swim, you will be even more hungry," Mr, D'Souza said and my mother nodded sagely.
I looked hesitantly at the kababs, not very sure if I wanted to go for a swim anymore.
My sister rolled her eyes. "Come, Shyla. Take your eyes off the food. Let's change into our bathing suits."
And she pulled me with her, falling in step with Kabir.
"My sister, once she sees food, there's no stopping her. God knows how you're going to manage!" She said and sighed dramatically.
I looked at Kabir and then at her. "Shut up." I hissed at Siya.
"It's good that you're into the works Shyla.I'll take you to this amazing place in Begumpet, the meat has this cheesy stuffing and--"
"Oh, hello. No planning dates in front of me bro. You can take me also with you once in a while. I was the one who did all the matchmaking," My sister genuinely seemed proud of herself.
Kabir grinned. "Of course, you made me pass in my Physics Cert. I can take you to the States also if you want."
"You first take me to Foofa's house. Then we'll talk about America."
I ignored the discussion and pulled out my sky blue bathing suit that looked more like a ballerina's tutu.
As soon as we were introduced to swimming classes in school, we were required to buy ourselves swimsuits that in no way should provoke the opposite gender. While the boys happily fooled around half-naked in swimming trunks, we bought bathing suits that had long sleeves and a multi-coloured skirt that reached the knees and also had a pair of shorts incognito under the skirt.
It was a funny costume really. I didn't want to wear it. I rummaged through the bag and found my sister's black and red bathing suit that was similarly an Indianized swimming suit but appeared more feminine.
Siya was engrossed in a conversation with Kabir and she wasn't coming any sooner to change her clothes.
I seized the opportunity and fled to the little wooden cabin assigned to myself and Saloni. Saloni stood in a towel and critically analysed her hot Pink Barbie swimming suit.
I quickly changed into my sister's glossy swimming suit. It had a nice cut in the stomach, where a little skirt emerged and it made me look deceivingly slim or something.
I knotted the tie at my neck and haughtily walked out. I peeped out. My sister was facing away from me and searching the plastic bag for her swimsuit, I suppose.
I located the swimming tank from where freshwater was gushing out from the pipe. My mother who obviously did not own a bathing suit was laughing and hesitating to Mrs Dsouza's persuasion. Mrs Jha, I knew since forever; was an aquatic mammal by heart and she was simply lazing at the corner of the pool, waiting for my mother to join them.
I stealthily moved towards the pool and Siya whipped her head right in my direction. She let out a gasp of pure shock and betrayal.
I smiled cheekily, "Sorry, just borrowing this for now."
She shot after me and I, cackling away like a wench, headed straight towards the tank and threw myself from the stairs, curling my knees to protect myself from the impact of the fall. Water splashed all around me.
My sister looked at me, defeated, while I swam towards the water hose.
She shot at a look at our mother for support.
"It's okay, she wore it. It's your younger sister only.Now don't make a fuss," My darling mother said.
"Your bathing suit looks like a freaking clown costume!" She muttered and stomped her foot before retreating.
The rest of the water that overflowed from the tank collected in a pond below, covered in moss. A duck was lazily swimming its way in the moss-covered water.
"Isn't this coming for the spicy curry? " David pointed at the bird floating peacefully in the water.
"Let's not make a curry of everything in here. Spare that poor thing, David, "Mr Jha said.
Mr D'Souza was also in his swimming trunks and his paunch came forward as he laughed heartily.
He looked like a stark contrast to Mr Jha who was still fit in his early 40s, sporting a black T-shirt and shorts.
My father was too much of a prude to even wear a pair of shorts. He was still dressed in his crisp dress pants and a grey collared shirt, shielding his eyes from the sun.
His biwi, my mumma, just had her legs dangling in the water and Mrs Jha pulled her into the water without warning and my mother fell with a little shriek, alerting my father.
"Be careful." He hollered and I gave him a thumbs-up, indicating that the situation was under control.
David and Mr D'Souza were flouncing on the other side of the pool, at least a metre apart from the ladies who seemed extremely thrilled, just standing under the water hose.
My sister walked up the pool, still looking at me with murder in her eyes. My bathing suit came with a matching multicoloured swimming cap, which she for some inexplicable reason, seemed to be sporting on her head. I smiled despite what was coming my way.
Siya stopped short when she noticed Saloni before her, in the hot pink bathing suit that reached her ankles and looked more like a fancy space suit.
Mr Jha noticed his daughter and squinted."Where did you buy this? What is this?"
Saloni sighed, "Papa, this is fashion, okay?"
Mr Jha muttered something to himself and exchanged glances with his wife.
Siya seemed to come to terms with her outfit after noticing Saloni's suit and she slid into the water.
"Race?" I suggested.
"Hell, yes. I win, and you're never wearing my bathing suit again," She said.
"You wish." I laughed and smoothly skid into the water. My arms ploughed before me and I dived into the water like a fish and I already knew I was having a head-start.
I could hear Siya behind me and I swam further until I could see the edge of the tank. I quickly reached out and clung to the edge and rose up to the surface.
"I'm first."
Siya bumped into me a microsecond later and had the audacity to argue that I cheated with an early head-start because I was on the left of the pool.
Which made no sense, but whatever.
A little away, a pair of feet in chappals were huddled together.
My gaze went up to my father and Mr Jha who was having an intense discussion beside the tank and had no interest in swimming, whatsoever.
Then, I noticed that Kabir was also standing with them, hands folded.
I was still clinging to the surface of the pool, my wet hair was probably sticking to my forehead.
He was looking straight at me and I stared back.
Ah, attention.
Then, I slowly released my hands and did a backstroke.
My lips were curling into a smile and I turned away from the edge of the pool, swimming towards the hose where the ladies were getting overexcited.
They were ignoring us and having an exciting discussion. I sighed and dived into the water again.
"Kabir!" David gestured with his hands for him to join them. He was having a beach ball in his hand.
Kabir shook his head.
David threw the ball into his arms. "Come on, man."
Kabir caught it. "No, yaar. I don't want to get wet now.," He looked directly at me. "Besides, I like the view from here."
I was scandalised, to say the least.
"View? What view?" David demanded, "Are you sitting in Switzerland? What can you see apart from that dirty duck?"
Kabir shook his head and turned to me. I slowly lowered my shoulders until the water covered my neck and relaxed into the water.
Kabir rested himself against a rock and was still looking straight at me. It wasn't lewd but just him watching me made the air more intimate and strange.
Now I wouldn't swim after he said that.
I was on my knees in the water and slowly navigated to the corner of the pool.
I peeked behind me at the rock and Kabir was still there, having a beverage in his hand. He blew through the vapours, while we looked at each other silently.
Usually, there was a hint of a smile gracing his lips, but at that time it was almost... Intense.
I didn't know what I felt about him looking at me like that, so I just sat there on my knees at the edge of the tank until I could mull over Kabir's gaze and the heat in my cheeks.
Just then, David's beach ball hit me squarely at my head.
I almost fell into the water and my arms flailed because I was already on my knees. I was going to fall face-first into the bottom of the moss-covered tank.
I gripped the edge of the tank in time and turned to offer a dirty look at David.
He was laughing.
I picked the floating ball and threw it at him and he caught it.
He pursed his lips as if it was funny. "Sorry, I mean, we didn't mean to... Sorry, sorry."
I got up from my kneeling hideout position and glared at the culprit one last time before sauntering off to the stairs.
As I walked up the stairs, I felt a wave of warm air brush against me and I shivered.
I jerked in place, feeling someone beside me. "You swim so well, you never told me." Kabir murmured lowly.
My heartbeat accelerated but I didn't let it show,"You never asked."
He tilted his head in amusement."Fair enough."
I turned away, and began making my way to the wooden cabin and picked my floral dress and quickly changed into it and towel-dried my hair.
I emerged out of the cabin, ready for the nice lunch I was going to get.
We huddled together on the grass while the couple who made the nice kababs served us food on banana leaves.
"Listen, we're leaving to Hyderabad tonight it seems," Siya murmured to me, folding her sleeves.
"What? What about the light show?" I asked out aloud.
"Whatever show you all have, within today. We have some business tomorrow. We need to be going back." My father said and I sighed.
Without a moment of laziness, we had to schedule all the sightseeing.
Usually, we travelled in a bigger pack, Kabir's aunt and their kid tagged along with a few friends from the colony.
So cars would be flanking us on either side but of course, that would only mean less accommodation and more aunties to fit into the car and I would end up sitting on someone's lap and hitting my head every time the driver uses the brakes.
However, more colony friends meant that we could send one car away for the career conscious uncles and stay behind.
Mr D'Souza stretched back on the grass and covered his arm over his eyes.
Great, we were going to rest here for another two hours for sure.