IMESSAGE: HETEROPHOBES ANONYMOUS
dumb idiot
can't believe i'm going to meet eddie oh my GOD
moth
richie you know i love you
but this is the third time that you're telling us today
staniel
And you're not meeting him until March.
Beverly, do you mind informing Richie of how far away March is?
moth
it's three months away
you should be celebrating jesus's birthday richie
staniel
Or you could, you know, not celebrate that.
moth
OH SORRYSJKS
you should be celebrating some random ass dude's birthday idk
dumb idiot
wait holy SHIT hold on
my birthday is in march
staniel
You don't say?
dumb idiot
GALAXY BRAIN MOMENT
MY BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME MONTH AS WHEN IM MEETING EDDIE????
moth
richie baby
your birthday isn't an entire month
dumb idiot
SHUT UP HSKSJS
I KNOW THAT
but imagine MEETING EDDIE on my birthday
IMESSAGE
CHIE, EDS
chie
hey eddie
do you know when you're coming to florida ??
eds
we're not 100% certain!!! sometime late march
chie
okay angel <3
IMESSAGE: HETEROPHOBES ANONYMOUS
dumb idiot
nevermind......
staniel
Tragic.
dumb idiot
this intense homo energy i radiate needs to CALM HERSELF i might just go around h*lding eddie's hand
moth
omg you might .... give him a h*g
staniel
Kiss his cheek, maybe.
moth
omg stanny!!!!
censor that shit !!!!!
we don't need that nsfw in our innocent chat!!!!
dumb idiot
yeah stanny!
have some respect !!!!
staniel
Why am I always the one being bullied.
dumb idiot
when we were 10 i said that i liked the night sky and you told me the moon is fake and it's just a hologram and i cried
moth
FUSKSJSJ
nothing will EVER be more tragic than the fact that i didn't meet you guys until high school
staniel
Did I ever tell you of the time that Richie tried to eat a Christmas decoration in my house and my mother threw Santa at him?
This is also how he came out to my mother.
moth
THE WHAT???
first of all you're jewish????? why was santa there????
also how old was richie??? 8? 9???
dumb idiot
........
i was 14
ok but LET ME TELL THE WHOLE STORY
staniel
you're awful at telling stories
dumb idiot
shut up staniel
ok so bev
first of all stan's mother kinda ? celebrates christmas but like ..... not the jesus stuff ...... they just like the decorations and gifts .. not dinner or Jesus Stuff so ......
moth
honestly valid i'm not christian but BET that i'm gonna b collecting those 🅱️resents
staniel
What the fuck does that mean?
dumb idiot
HSKSJ RT!!!
ok so stan has his house all decked out in christmas decor (sans jesus crosses)
there are fake gingerbread cookies . fan C looking u know ??
staniel
"Fan C"
dumb idiot
they looked real so
i take a bite . or attempt to w hatever
and mrs. stanley urine's mom sees and LAUNCHES a life size santa blow up at me FULL FORCE
it's a literal inflatable so it hardly hurts but i am still Thrown Off u know so i shout "HOMOPHOBIA!! HATE CRIME!!"
and god bless her Stan's Mom is . a lot like him apparently because she goes "i am not homophobic"
staniel
I AM NOT HOMOPHOBIC
I AM DUMBASS-PHOBIC
moth
FUSKDJDJ
GOT STAN TO TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS
?:!:&?:&:
staniel
It's going on my gravestone.
My mother is superior.
dumb idiot
if stan's mom attacks me with a life size santa blowup do NOT prosecute her
she caught me slipping
that's on ME
moth
rt!!!!
Liked by eddiekaspbrak and 10378 others
trashm0uth "you look like uhh ferbus" — stanley uris
View 8927 more comments
bevzmarsh ferbus?????
— trashm0uth i think he was trying to say phineas?
— stanuris The triangle man.
eddiekaspbrak i love men
— stanuris Can't relate
eddiekaspbrak im so TIRED OF U out here BEING BABY like . get in the crib
— trashm0uth HSKSJS I LOVE YOU LOSER
— eddiekaspbrak yall this baby is out here sayint "goo goo gaga" ??? what sir????
— bevzmarsh can't believe it's three months until y'all get to relieve whatever the fuck this is
— trashm0uth we are going to have intercourse
— eddiekaspbrak i am never complimenting you again.
IMESSAGE
BUTTER, HUSBAND <3
husband <3
i don't know how to talk to boys
butter
that's evident
husband <3
how do i show a boy that i'm interested
without letting him KNOW that i'm interested
and also without resorting to sex jokes
butter
o mg ..... what if u
wait for this.....
husband <3
i'm waiting.
bev????
beverly u fucking bitch
????? bev
the suspense ......
butter
HEHE SORRY
i'm at some party rn eating chips in a corner
husband <3
mood????
butter
ok my idea is.........
u tell him that you're into him 😳😳😳
husband <3
you sound like stan )):
how do i FLIRT with boys
butter
i have no idea im bi
ask someone who has a boyfriend
husband <3
you
you have a boyfriend.
butter
YEAH but HE asked me out 😔✊
ask someone who actually Knows how 2 make a move
husband <3
.......
i have an idea
DIRECT MESSAGES
TRASHM0UTH, MIKEYHANLON
richie
michael!!!
you're eddie's friend correct?
mike
..... yeah??
richie
and you have a bf, yes?
mike
y yes???
richie
coolio!!
i need some advice.