Chapter Eight
~Michael's POV~
It was happening again. I was going through that roller coaster that is my life. I was doubting things and myself and there was no other explanation for it other than that day is getting closer. The closer it gets the more my thoughts fill of him. And the more I start think about how what a horrible person I am. The more I start questioning why it had to happen to me. To him. To us. And I know that I'm freaking out Liam. And I wanted to stop but I couldn't. I can't.
All my past was being dug up and I was trying to drown it out.
But I was tripping over all the memories. The depression was slowly stealing in. And there was no one that I could talk to about this. Well, no one other than Zack. And I hadn't talked to him in a while. I don't really know why I kept avoiding him. Other than the fact that I felt like complete shit when I was around him. If that was because he walked all over my feelings for him or if it was from my own self hate that I was so fucking weak I couldn't even stand up for myself – I couldn't tell.
I knew that he had been asking about me though. He was my best friend after all. And if that didn't make things complicated as fuck for our relationship, I still hadn't told him that I'm dating Liam. Dylan figured it out from the moment I started to mention Liam and ask questions. But he kept quiet for us. And we defiantly didn't tell Kim. She would flip shit.
I sighed and shoved my face farther into my pillow. It almost smelled completely like Liam from the amount of times he's come over to make sure I’m okay and then end up staying the night with me. I vaguely recalled today being Saturday and I knew that it was some time in the afternoon. And I was still lying in bed. Clutching onto my pillow contemplating my self worth, my relationship, and if I should call Zack.
Honestly, I needed to get myself together. I blindly searched for my phone hissing at the brightness of the screen under my covers and then went into my contacts to find Zack's number. Once I found it, I kind of just stared at it for a minute. I sighed again and hit the call button. The phone rang twice before it was picked up.
“Well, hell-fucking-o to you too, friend!” Zack's voice filled my ears. I laughed slightly. It was nice to hear his voice. He sounded happy and that made me happy as well.
“Hey Zack.”
“Damn Michael. When you said you were leaving I didn't think that you would stop contact with me as well.” Zack whined.
I cringed slightly, “Yeah … sorry about that.”
Zack sighed and there was a long pause. I knew the words that would come from his mouth before he said them, but that didn't stop it from hurting. “Are you going to be okay? Being by yourself this year?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah, I'll be fine.” I said.
“Michael.” Zack said. He knew I was lying. “How bad is it?”
“Worse.” My eyes were blurring from the tears that were threatening to spill over. And I didn't want to talk anymore. If I tried I knew that I would break down. I only called Zack to hear his voice. To try and distract myself and have him silently comfort me by babbling on while I cried. And that's what we did.
Zack told me about the guys and him and Dylan. He told me about his classes and stupid random stuff that I didn't bother to remember. I only laid there sniffling and listening to him talk. And while I was crying underneath my blankets, listening to my best friend ramble and hearing Dylan in the background screaming at him, it made me think about how much I missed Zack. And even Dylan. It kind of made me wish I hadn't moved over here – even if it was for Liam. But it was according to my own will to leave. I didn’t like having to spend time with Zack and love him from afar while Dylan got to hold him. I didn't want my jealously to affect Dylan and Zack's relationship any farther. And while their whole relationship going around in so many circles wasn't entirely my fault, I still felt some type of responsibility.
And then there was Liam. He was kind and understanding. He knew how I felt watching the person you love be happy with someone else because he made it that way. And I can't image how that must feel. He was always so happy and smiling and I guess that he's just good at hiding and suppressing those emotions.
“Hey Zack.” I said interrupting his babbling.
“Yeah?”
“Could you come over for a little bit?” I asked.
“Yeah... sure.” He said.
We ended the phone call after that and I dragged myself out of the bed to make me look somewhat presentable and cleaned up the already clean house. I had Richard make some snacks because I was too lazy and tired to make my own. Once Zack showed up I hugged him tightly in the middle of the hallway for a really long time. He just sighed and hugged me back just as tightly.
Zack and I sat in the kitchen eating the snacks Richard made and I sighed slightly.
“Michael are you sure you're gonna be okay? I mean this would be the first year you would have to go through it alone. I don't want you to end up like how I found you.” Zack said worriedly.
I chewed the inside of my cheek. Right, I still haven't told Zack that I was dating Liam. He doesn't even know that Liam lives down the street from me. And like the terrible luck that I have the doorbell rings. I quickly rushed out of the kitchen and opened the door to find a worried looking Liam standing there.
“Liam.” I squeaked out quietly.
He instantly wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly to him.
“I tried calling you a bunch of times and you didn't answer so I came over to make sure you were okay.” He mumbled into my ear. Not really meaning to say things but unconsciously saying them anyways. I smiled slightly before kicking myself on the inside because I forgot my phone upstairs and I should have known that Liam would call me. He calls me like everyday even if we texted this morning. He said he likes hearing my voice and I find it extremely embarrassing but I understood what he meant. Liam pulled away from the hug slightly and looked at me that way he did and I noticed how his arms wrapped around me were making me feel tingly all over. And everything was all soft and mussy and then Liam just had to lean down and kiss me like he hadn't seen me in days.
And I tried to think about how indecent this was and that I shouldn't feel so weak at some kissing – but lets face it, Liam was the biggest fucking sappy teddy bear and no matter how much you fight it you can not make him stop. I moaned just slightly at the way his hand around my waist gripped me tighter and pulled me too him like my body was made to me connected with his. And shivers racked through me when his other hand went to my hair grabbed it, trying to bring our lips closer.
“Michael? Who's at the … door.” My eyes flew open and I shoved Liam off of me.
“Zack. Right. Forgot you were here for a moment.” I mumbled my cheeks heating up.
“... I see. Um …” Zack looked very confused and made motions with his arms and pointed between us making breathy noises and squeaks. “You … and … Liam … W-When?!”
“Um like … a couple of months now.”
“Six months and two weeks actually.” Liam added. I glared at him.
“MONTHS!?” Zack looked like he was about to collapse. He put his hand over his heart and clutched at his shirt. “Oh my god. I'm gonna die. Why wasn't I informed about this, Michael?”
“Because we assumed you would do exactly what you’re doing right now.” Liam sighed.
Zack glared at him. “Does Kim know?”
“Fuck no.” I said. “You know how she feels about me dating people that aren't her.”
“Wait what?” Liam asked. Zack looked up, eyes sparkling with mischief. Fuck I shouldn't have said that. I regretted the moment it came out of my mouth. I stepped in front of Zack blocking his view of Liam.
“Don't you dare.” I said.
Zack smiled. Completely recovered from his freak out literally like two minutes ago. “Oh but I should tell Liam about your past relationships.” He laughed.
“It was barely even a relationship. I took her to a fucking school dance and one date.” I mumbled out.
I felt hands grab me and I was turned around to face Liam. He was giving me a really creepy blank look and smile. I wanted to get out of this situation it was embarrassing enough and me and Kim don't even talk about it. But she's still fucking crazy. We when out for about a week all because she wanted a date to one of the school dances and even though I knew and she knew I was completely into guys we tried it out. More like, I kind of pitted her knowing what it felt like to want to do something but not have anyone to do it with. And yes, we kissed a little and I never liked it but apparently Kim was all for it and was trying to tie me down.
That's were I drew my line and told her flat out that I was not going to be anything more than friends with her ever again. And we “broke up” and agreed never to talk about it. But she still seemed to find ways to keep herself and me out of relationships – not that I really minded not being in a real relationship, because being with Zack was nothing more than entertainment for him and heartbreak for me. So yeah, she a bit crazy and if she found out I was dating her cousin, all hell would break lose.
“Michael … What's this about you and Kim?” Liam asked.
Zack snickered in the background and I would have glared at him, if not for the death grip Liam had me in. “Look, we dating for like a week. She apparently wanted the D but I was like, I'm not into you, and we broke up and she turned into the insane girl she is.”
Liam closed his eyes and the loosened his grip on me. I sighed in relief and started to relax before his arms wrapped around me. “As long as you understand your mine now I could careless about my cousins feelings right now.” He said and kissed me lightly.
“Eww, couples.” Zack said.
“Zack, you're in a relationship.” Liam said.
“Okay, fine. Let me restate. Eww, Liam.” Zack said walking towards the front door. “Michael, I think you'll be just fine this year. And you really should tell Liam about him some time before that day, okay?” Zack said looking at me. I nodded my head and then Zack was out the door and Liam was in.
“Who do you need to tell me about?” He asked concerned.
“Later.” I said before kissing my boyfriend.
A/N: Such unedited. Much stupid. Lolz. I have no idea what happened in this chapter but Zack showed up and don't worry he told Dylan where he was going this time ;) Just image how awkward it's gonna be with Zack finds out that Dylan knew about Michael and Liam before him >.< Anyways, Michael dated Kim?! What~ Man this was a really weird chapter but guess what the time fore learning about him is coming soon O.O!!! So be EXCITED! Until next time my lovelies <3 Pick is of bae Zack.