The thought of troubling Seokjin hurts me. I stagger a little when my heart beats so hard I can feel it in my entire body. Jimin supports me before I can fall, but I quickly regain my balance. Everyone stares at me in shock.
"Dude, what's wrong? You acted weird this morning too," Namjoon says.
"I dunno. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten all day?" I say and they all gasp in shock.
"You haven't eaten all day even though you went to school and had training?" Hoseok asks. "That's madness! You have to eat something right away!"
They bring me into the kitchen and force me to sit down at the table.
"I'll heat up some of the dinner for you," Jimin says and starts loading a plate with way more food than I'll probably be able to get down in one sitting.
The rest just awkwardly stand around me and I notice Seokjin staring at my feet, probably because my socks are bloody and dirty. I cautiously pull them in underneath the chair and he frowns at me. I frown back and he seems a bit surprised by that, but goes back to the same expression very quickly again.
"JK, you need to do something about your feet. It can't be good to be walking around without shoes," he says, but I just look the other way ignoring him.
I feel him glaring at me for a good moment before he walks out of the kitchen. I carefully glance after him, but stop when I realize what I'm doing. Why should I care about him? He doesn't care about me. He just thinks of me as an inconvenience, a random kid that he has to take care of.
Namjoon crouches down next to me so that no one else hears what he says.
"It's Seokjin-hyung, right? That's why you're acting like this?"
"I- Yes? No? Maybe..."
"There's that ambiguous answer again, but just know that ignoring each other will solve nothing."
"There's nothing for us to solve," I mutter.
Jimin places the heated plate of food in front of me and Namjoon gets back up again. I start digging in right away and the food really hits the spot. I feel warmer already.
"OK, so why did you throw your phone out the window?" Yoongi asks. "I'm not mad, just curious."
It's kind of hard to believe that when he has his arms crossed and is clenching his jaw. He's definitely mad because he knows he's going to be the one to change the window.
"I got angry," I say quietly while poking around in the food.
"About what? What made you mad enough to break the window?"
"A lot of things, mainly-"
A sudden urge to cough makes itself known and I turn away from the table and cover my mouth with my hand in order to not get germs everywhere. It's more powerful than I expected and my throat hurts afterwards. I sit back up properly and the others look at me as if they're a little scared.
"What?" I ask.
I see that they're all more specifically looking at my hand and when I glance down I see why. I just coughed up blood. The lady on the street was right. This is going downhill fast. Maybe I should've let her help me after all.
Seokjin returns and slams down a first-aid kit on the table, successfully startling everyone in the room. He has a serious expression.
"I'm gonna fix your feet whether you want me to or not," he says with determination, but he's met with nothing but silence.
"Uh, Hyung, I think we have a bigger problem on our hands," Jimin eventually says and Seokjin notices the blood on my hand and around my mouth.
He quickly becomes worried, scared and shocked, but above everything else he looks confused. Or at least that's what I think he looks like. I can't tell anymore. He might just be messing with me either way.
"Should we take him to the hospital?" Taehyung asks.
"No, I'm fine," I quickly say. "It's probably just because I've over exhausted myself today. There's no need to panic."
I don't want to go there just for them to conclude that I'm heartbroken and that there's nothing else wrong with me.
"But, Jungkook, coughing blood is like really bad," Hoseok says. "Are you sure you don't wanna go?"
"Yes, I'm sure. If I just finish the food and get some sleep I'll be back to normal in the morning. It's no biggie. I've coughed blood before during training. The coach really pushes us to our limits."
Their reactions tell me I definitely shouldn't have said that.
"Is he out of his mind?!" Jimin yells. "He can't make you train that hard! If anything it'll just ruin your performance!"
"Do the others cough blood too, or is it just you?" Namjoon asks.
"It was back before I'd presented so he was trying to make me catch up to the others. So... mostly just me."
"What a shitty coach. I'll go kick his ass right now," Yoongi says and heads towards the door, but Seokjin stops him.
"You're not gonna kick anyone's ass, Yoongi. We're all too riled up about this. If Jungkook thinks it's cool then we'll accept that for now. We can discuss that later."
The others reluctantly agree to Seokjin's reasoning. He looks at me and I see something strange in his eyes. Doubt. Of what? Me? I don't know.
"You should eat your food," he says, or rather orders. "Come to the living room when you're done so I can patch up your feet. I won't let you go to sleep otherwise."
He takes the first-aid kit with him and leaves again. The rest slowly disperse and go to their rooms, except for Jimin who watches me like a hawk as I eat.
"Do you want something?" I eventually ask when I start feeling uncomfortable.
"Yes, I want a lot of things, but most of all I want to tell you what a dipshit you are for running away like that. I promised your parents I would take care of you when you moved here. What if something worse had happened to you out there? How would I be able to take responsibility for that?"
"Sorry... I wasn't really thinking when I left."
"And that's the problem. You either don't think at all, or you think waaaaay to much. You have to find some kind of middle ground or you'll either run into trouble or go insane from your own thoughts."
"Sorry..."
"And stop apologizing all the time!"
"Sorry."
"Stop!"
I shut my mouth in order to not apologize again. Jimin relaxes a little and waits until I'm done eating to take the plate away. He starts washing it right away and before I get up from the table I hear him mumble something.
"You had us all worried to death, you brat..."
I pretend like I didn't hear him since it would make us both embarrassed, and instead I leave the kitchen with a smile on my face. I start slowly making my way to my bedroom and my feet hurt with every step. A voice from the living room reminds me of what I should be doing.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Seokjin says.
He sits there patiently waiting for me, and I have no choice but to do as he wants. I sit down on the couch and he gets up to crouch down in front of me. He keeps quiet as he removes my socks and cringes at the sight of my torn up soles. I don't know what to say to him, so I stay quiet as well. He takes out a pair of tweezers and carefully remove the tiny shards of glass from my feet. It hurts, but not as much as walking on it.
Even now I can't help but think that he's so incredibly beautiful. The way he takes care of me is so gentle. It sucks that I can't have him. We're not meant for each other. If we were I wouldn't be suffering like this on my own. He might've already found his real mate and never told me. The woman was right. He's the one for me, but I'm not the one for him.
Seokjin looks up at me through his long lashes and he wears a bothered expression. He has his mouth slightly open as if he's about to say something, but he looks back down as if he changed his mind. I pretend like I never saw it, and it startles me when I hear his voice either way.
"You're heartbroken," he says, and slowly glances up at me again. He almost looks a bit sad.
"Why do you think that?" I ask sternly.
"Your whole demeanor says so. Your scent too. You even coughed blood. I'd say that's pretty strong evidence."
So it's not because he can feel it too. Fuck. I knew that was the case, but him practically confirming it still hurts.
He puts the tweezers away in silence and takes out some bandages to wrap around my feet. After fully wrapping one foot he stops halfway through the other one. He looks at me again.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"W-what?"
"Do you. Have. A girlfriend?" he repeats as if I didn't hear him the first time.
"No... I don't."
"Well, not anymore I would assume," he mumbles to himself and continues wrapping my foot.
I don't understand. Why would he ask that?
"This doesn't make any sense," he mutters with a troubled expression and even his scent changes.
He's distressed. But why? Why does he care about this? Or does he even care? I can't tell! I don't understand him at all!
He finishes bandaging my foot and gets up from the floor. He packs up the first-aid kit again and before he leaves he gives me a long, strange look. Almost as if I hurt him. The scent he leaves behind is thick with negative emotions and I resist the urge to run after him to ask what's wrong. Why does he react like that now? If he really was my fated mate he would've been like that from the start.
I pull myself up from the couch and walk to the bedroom. As soon as I open the door the temperature drops significantly. Oh right. The window is broken. Yoongi is busy duct-taping a plywood board over it to cover it up while Hoseok and Jimin watch him from my bed. They're understandably wrapped up in blankets because it's so cold in here.
"Why'd you have to break the window?" Jimin whines when he sees me. "We'll freeze our asses off in here!"
"I didn't mean to..."
"But, Jimin, you have a point," Hoseok says. "It's really cold. Should Jungkook be sleeping in here if he's been coughing blood and shit? Doesn't sound like a good idea to me."
"He shouldn't," Yoongi chimes in. "He's probably already caught a cold when he was out there. Jungkook, you can sleep in my bed for tonight if you want."
In Yoongi's bed? That means I'll be in the same room as Seokjin... I can't do that!
"No, I'm good in here," I say. "I shouldn't bother you with the problems I've caused."
Yoongi finishes taping the board and turns to look at me with a frown.
"If you don't wanna cause any more problems then go sleep where it's warm so that you won't get any sicker than you probably already are. It's not an option anymore. Do it."
"But I-"
"No buts."
"But what if Jin-hyung-"
"Jungkook, just do it," Jimin sighs. "It's late and we'll all get to bed faster if we stop arguing. You need the rest if you wanna have any hope of going to school tomorrow."
They don't really give me any choice. I grab my pajama pants and to go the bathroom to get changed and brush my teeth. It's first when I stand outside of the door to Seokjin and Yoongi's bedroom that it really sinks in. Sleeping in the same room as him? Even if he allows me, I most likely won't be able to sleep a wink.
After a deep breath I decide to finally step inside. Seokjin is in the middle of changing into his pajama shirt and it knocks out the air I just inhaled. He casually glances at the door, but his eyes become wide when he sees that it's not his roommate like he probably assumed it was. He screams and I scream because he screams.
"What are you doing here?!" he asks and hides behind the fabric in his hands.
"Y-yoongi-hyung told me to sleep in here since it was cold in my room because of the window!" I explain while covering my eyes in order to not stare at him.
"You're gonna sleep in here?!"
"That's what he said! Blame him, not me!"
He goes silent, but I still don't dare to uncover my eyes in case he gets mad at me for peeking. I've seen his chest multiple time over the years, but if he's uncomfortable with showing me then I have to respect that.
"Fine," he says. "I guess you can sleep in here if you want."
I slowly remove my hand and he's already dressed while sitting under his covers on the bed. He pulls out the bag and takes out the dog collar. He throws it at me and I barely manage to catch it.
"You gotta wear that just in case though," he says and makes himself comfortable. "I don't want any accidents."
Of course. He doesn't trust me enough for me to be here without the collar. To respect his wishes I put the stupid thing on. He looks at me and a small smile appears on his face.
"I like that style on you," he says before rolling over so that he's facing away from me.
What style? I look down and I'm wearing literally nothing except the collar and the long checkered pajama pants. Not much of a style if you ask me.
I disregard his comment and climb into Yoongi's bed. It's surprisingly comfortable. Almost more so than mine. I might not have trouble falling asleep after all. I'm exhausted from the things that's happened today.
I secretly glance over at Seokjin, but he doesn't move as if he's already sleeping. I know he's not, but at least his scent is very calming. Despite knowing that he doesn't like me, the scent makes me feel safe, lulling me off to sleep within minutes.