Aurelia ran her hands through her hair, flipping it to one side as she read through yet another book on Travelers. She had been looking for four months, and nothing.
Absolutely nothing from reading through seven books with an average of 800 pages each.
Her phone rang, and she quickly muted it, sending apologetic looks to the people who glared at her and shushed her. She stood up, before walking outside and answering it.
"Hello, mom." She said.
"Mom, huh? That sounds pretty accurate, since I'm mom-ing you to get out of the library." Liz said, making her smile. "Get out of the library, will you?"
"I will... once I find something on Travelers and the goddamn spell that makes me relive the horror that is childbirth." She said.
"Tell me about it." Liz agreed. "Listen, Elena called me, looking for you. She wants to talk."
"Aunt Liz, come on, please. I dropped out of college, and I've received a couple million texts from her." She said.
"Why not actually check those texts while you leave voicemails for Stefan?" Aurelia frowned. "I know it's a sensitive topic, but I had to."
"Aunt Liz, he's probably not even getting my texts because he may be in a remote mountain region or something." She said. "There's nothing sensitive about it."
"Sure." Liz said, sarcastically. "How's Karissa?" Aurelia smiled at the name.
"She's great, I just visited her again last week." She said. "I didn't know how much I needed her until I saw her for the first time in forever." She paused. "Have I shown you a picture of her? I'm gonna text you a picture of her. She's grown up to look so cute and pretty, it's unreal. I never thought I'd see her look so much like an adult. It's just like she was a tiny bundle two days ago...." She trailed off, mentally face-palming herself. "I'm being such a mom, aren't I?"
"Not something to really be embarrassed about." Aurelia chuckled. "Aw, if only I could see you laughing."
"I'll see you soon, Aunt Liz." She said.
"Bye, sweetie, I love you."
"I love you, too, mom." She teased. "Bye." She turned around to walk back in, but her phone rang yet again. "Hello, Caroline, where do you want me to come?"
"Aw, you know me so well." Aurelia rolled her eyes, unable to contain a smile. "The diner."
"Yup, specific enough." She said. "Bye." She hung up. She began to walk back, but her phone rang once again, making her take a deep breath to satiate her irritation. She answered the call. "WHAT?!"
"Woah, mom, who you think is calling you, exactly?" Karissa's voice came, making her sigh in relief.
"No one, I was just trying to work in the library. Calls kept disturbing me, so..."
"I see. But what're you doing in the library?"
"Researching. You know the whole ordeal about Mystic Falls, right?"
!
Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Aurelia walked into the diner, instantly spotting Caroline and Alaric sitting opposite to each other in a booth as they talked.
Caroline had a frown on her face, which made Aurelia curious as to what they were talking about. She tucked her hair behind her ear, before quietly listening into the conversation.
"How often do you talk to him?" Caroline asked.
"I don't know, couple times a week." The 19-year-old's eyes widened at Alaric's answer. "I'm gonna go out on a limb, here, Caroline. Is something bothering you?"
"He didn't say goodbye, Ric. Not to me, and what's worse is that he just walked out on Aurelia, who he promised that he would stay by her side. Damon and Bonnie just died, and he left, without so much as a phone call or e-mail. He just left a note to 'Lia, and she hasn't told me about it since. We haven't heard from him in months, and—"
"Maybe he just doesn't want to bother you or Aurelia with every half-lead that goes nowhere." Alaric suggested. Caroline glared at him.
"Ric, put the damn pieces together. The one sentence he wrote to 'Lia was 'I can't stay, not anymore'. He then left, without answering any calls or voicemails from her. Do you know what that did to her?" She rhetorically asked. "It broke her, because he was the only one who would even remotely understand her pain. She blames herself for becoming weak and stopping her part of the spell, which means she blames herself for Damon and Bonnie and Lexi. Three people who were super close to her! When Stefan left, she had just broken off contact with everyone but me and mom." She paused. "One of the two reasons why she's smiling now, even if it's a rare thing, is because of Karissa. She wouldn't stop talking about her after she first went to meet her." She then sighed. "So, Ric, under no circumstances should Aurelia find out that Stefan, her best friend, has simply been avoiding her for four months."
"Um, Caroline. It's too late." He said, making Aurelia's head shoot up, spotting the pair looking at her. She bit her lip, to prevent herself from expressing any sort of emotions.
She simply put up with a smile, walking over to the table and taking a seat. "Hey, guys." She said, masking the crack in her voice. "So, what books do you have?" She asked Alaric, pulling out all her books from the bag she was carrying. "Because there's... absolutely nothing so far." She let out a breath when they wouldn't reply, but just look at her sadly. "I'm fine, really, you guys. It doesn't matter that Stefan's been avoiding me, because the worst is over, and I couldn't care less. He may have left me at my worst, but I'm fine now. I'm r-recovering, and it doesn't matter. He's moved on from us, and only wants to focus on his brother, like I should on Damon and Bonnie, because Lexi found peace when she died..." She trailed off, before taking her book. "Now that I think about it, I did see something on-on, um, page 723, so can I show you that?" She asked, looking up at them.
"Aurelia..." Caroline began. "Look—"
"Caroline, just stop. If you're gonna talk about Stefan, then I'm gonna leave, because his folder is in a pile called, 'not-gonna-touch'." She interrupted. "I want nothing to do with him anymore, and so, I am gonna go right now if you want to talk about him."
"Aurelia, have you read this one?" Alaric asked, showing her another book. She turned to look at it, taking it.
"The Art of Hexing." She read. He gave her another book. "Elements of magic. I haven't seen these yet. I'll get back to you on the both of them tomorrow." She stated, before standing up.
"Tomorrow? They're both 300 pages long." He said.
"Your point is?"
!
"Oh, what're you drinking?" Aurelia asked, approaching Alaric, who looked at her in surprise.
"What're you doing here? I thought you dropped out." He said. "Didn't want a teacher like me, did you?"
"Nope, you're actually above average." She commented. "I wanted to get some fresh air, and Whitmore is the first place I thought of." She stared off into the crowd, before Alaric rolled his eyes.
"The real reason, please." He said.
"I ran out of blood bags." She answered, taking his canister. She took a gulp of the blood. "Much better, but I'd like a drink."
"Of alcohol?"
"Even better." She said, staring at a boy. Alaric frowned, taking the canister.
"Aurelia, is this because of Stefan?" She eyed Alaric weirdly.
"What did I say back at that diner?" She retorted. "He doesn't matter anymore, Ric." Alaric nodded once, before the pair turned their heads to a blacked-haired woman, older than all the students- approached them. She had striking blue eyes, like those of...
Aurelia's eyes widened.
Adam.
Her eyes were like Adam's.
"Thank God." She said to Alaric with a smile. "Someone over 20. All the other chaperones are by the burger bar." Aurelia smiled.
"And you're a vegetarian." Alaric said.
"I don't eat red meat. I look at blood all day." She stated, making the two vampires look at each other, slightly puzzled and conscious. "Because I work at the medical center. Not because I'm a serial killer or anything." She added, making the other two sigh in relief. "I'm Jo." She said, looking between them.
"Aurelia Parker." Aurelia consciously used her full name, before Jo suddenly swallowed before shaking her outstretched hand, making the blonde raise an eyebrow. "Jo, as in Josette." Jo frowned slightly before nodding.
"How did you know?"
"My niece's name's Josette." She lied. "We all call her Jo."
"D-Do you teach?" She asked. "Because you look pretty young." Aurelia chuckled, shaking her head.
"I'm only 19."
Four Hundred, but sure, nineteen works.
"I attended this place for freshman year. I'm, uh, a dropout, and Alaric, here," She patted his shoulder. "Is a good friend of mine." She said.
"Ah." Jo said in understanding, before she looked at Alaric.
"I'm Alaric." The professor said. "I teach Occult Studies here."
"I didn't know that was an actual thing." She said.
"Yeah." He stated, before she smiled.
"Not that it's not." She said, glancing at his canister. "Uh, may I?" She questioned. Alaric looked at his canister, before thinking of a lie.
"Ric's a germaphobe." Aurelia quickly said.
"A germaphobe." Jo repeated. "So, you're like the vegetarian of cool people."
"Ha! Yes! Exactly." Alaric said nervously, earning a weird look from Aurelia. "Um... will you excuse us, for a second? Aurelia's slightly drunk, and I need to get her out of here before she makes a scene." He lied.
"Oh, sure." The vampires quickly walked away, before Aurelia glared at him.
"What was that for?"
"That's the first thing I could think of." He defended, earning a light punch in the arm. "Sorry, but when I lost my human nature, I also lost my game."
"Clearly." She said. "She was totally into you, and you blew it like an idiot."
"And what was with the whole Josette thing?" He asked. She instantly furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you know her?"
"Not yet," She began. "My family has a tendency to pass down names, so I was named after my grandmother, and my granddaughter's—"
"What?"
"Okay, so Karissa died, and Adam had to carry out the bloodline, so he had about four sons and two daughters. The youngest was named Josette, after my mother."
"Coincidence." Alaric said, as if it was obvious.
"But her eyes, Ric!" Aurelia protested. "She looked exactly like my..."
"Your...?"
"I would say husband to be, but he died when I became pregnant, so the father of my kids." She phrased slowly. He looked at her in disbelief.
"Okay, I get that you've had a much-needed reunion with your daughter, but not everyone's related to you." Aurelia groaned, before spinning around.
"I'm leaving. Hunger's making me crazy."
!
Aurelia licked her lips, before throwing the guy to the ground. "What are you doing?" He asked, fear evident in his voice.
"Eating dinner." She answered. "You see... what's your name?" He didn't answer, making her roll her eyes. "Let me put it this way: answer or die." He began to shake, and she sighed. "Look, I've had a long day, and I need food, so stop being so goddamn scared because I might not kill you." She paused. "I'm a little out of touch with feeding on people, so the situation could tilt anyway." She then looked back at him, before grabbing his collar. "Stop being so scared, and stay put." He instantly obliged. "Do whatever I say. Once I'm out of your sight, then you forget everything that just happened."
"Okay." He said in his trance. She dropped him.
"What's your name?" She asked.
"Michael."
"Okay, Mike- can I call you Mike? I'm gonna call you Mike- I'm gonna tell you something, because I can't really say to anyone else. I'm on the verge of doing a lot of things, right now." She started. "One, is breaking down because the guy that I think I'm in love with has left me. For good. He's definitely not gonna come back, and that sorta breaks my heart because we were pretty close- scratch that, we have history together." She said, taking a seat on the ground. "By that I mean, we were in love a long time ago, but that's straying from the topic."
She looked at the pendant she was wearing, and lifted it up, showing it to him. "He gave me this, by the way." She put forward. "So, that's one, and then there's the major problem. Three people dear to me are dead. And it's because I couldn't do a goddamn spell properly. What's the worst that could happen? I would die. So? I'd go to hell." She said. "Mourning over one of my oldest friends, my other friend, and another friend who's stuck with me, is horrible. I'm 400 years old, loss is part of the deal, but it hurts. Every. Single. Time." She stated. "It just- just hurts, right here." She placed a hand on her chest. "It all hurts, and I deserve the hurt, but still. It's... too much. I wanna get rid of all the pain."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Honestly, I have no idea, Michael." She said. "Lately, I've felt this... huge weight on my shoulders, and it's hard." She said. "I feel like I'm being too dramatic, because of all the people, I shouldn't be affected, but I am. I feel vulnerable." She added, before looking away as she wiped away a tear. "And here I am, doing something I swore off on."
"What is that?"
"Talking to my prey." She added. "It's a psychological habit that I couldn't help but do..." She stood up, and slowly stalked over to him. "It made killing harder, but it got out my pain." She added, before picking him up. "I'm sorry, I've just tried to remain good, and controlled, when all I've wanted to do is let go. For once, I want to let go." She repeated, before pulling him up to his feet. She pinned him to a wall as she licked her lips. "And I'm so, so hungry. I could keep it in for another day, but I can't, I just want to give in..." She trailed off, as her eyes turned red and her veins began to swell up. "What I want you to do is be scared, be afraid, scream, struggle, anything." She growled, before she closed her eyes and tore through his skin, before drinking in the blood.
She made a mess, but she didn't care. She just wanted to drown her feelings. She heard his screams, and all it did was bring music to her ears.
"Aurelia!" In an instant, she was thrown away, hitting another wall as she fell to the ground. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She looked up, and her veins disappeared at the sight of Alaric. She looked back at Michael, who was bleeding out on the ground. Alaric sped to him and bit his wrist, before healing the human with his blood. He then walked over to Aurelia and knelt down to meet her eye-level. "You actually fed."
"I don't joke about food." She said, licking her bloody lips. "I told you I was hungry."
"Yeah, and you almost killed a guy." He added, making her roll her eyes as she looked away from him. "Come on, Aurelia, you're acting out. And it's because of Stefan, admit it."
"I'll admit it when it's actually true." She said, standing up, as the blood on her mouth began to trickle down and drip to the floor, all signs of it on her skin disappearing. "There, all cleaned up." She said, before walking past him. He grasped her wrist, however, making her spin around to glare at him.
"Aurelia, what's happening?" He asked. "Caroline and I are worried. You've been on edge, for four months."
"You aren't the judge of that, Ric."
"And you actually hurt someone because of Stefan?" He said. "Come on, this is not you."
"Alaric," She started, ripping her hand away from him. "Look at me." She gestured to herself. "I've tried to change myself. For the past four months, I've tried to keep my mind on different things. I'm wearing a dress, for Heaven's sake. All of this is to change myself, because changing myself takes my mind away from the fact that I'm the damn reason why you don't have your drinking buddy with you right now." She paused. "I've been on edge for four months. I'm sensitive, I'm vulnerable, I'm mourning, and I hate it! All those feelings, and the fact that I hate it has been kept in me, because I don't want you to think I'm weak, or spiraling. What's worse is that Stefan was a trigger for me. Now, the burden on me has increased, and it- it hurts, okay?" He looked at her, tears in her eyes as her lip quivered. "And- And you and Caroline are looking for ways to make your home a home again. I'm just another weight on your scale, and an unnecessary one. You guys are worrying about me, and it's taking your mind off everything." She said. "I want to feel better, but I can't, Ric. I don't know how to."
Alaric frowned, slightly swallowing. "Why haven't you told us this?"
"Because there's no point." She said. "You're going to worry even more, as narcissistic as that sounds, and I don't want—" She stopped, her head snapping to look towards the crowd. "I hear Luke and Tyler." She suddenly said. Alaric frowned.
"What?" She ran as fast as a human would, straight to where the crowd had formed a circle, around Tyler and Luke, the former of which was hurting the latter. She growled, before running to Tyler and pinning him to the ground. Alaric took Luke, who was out of breath, before the two looked at Aurelia.
"What do you think you're doing?" She asked Tyler, her teeth bared at him in anger. Tyler only looked at her, eyes wide.
"He-he was giving Elena some herbs to hallucinate Damon. It's made her hungrier and she's a mess, according to Caroline." He quickly said.
"That's no excuse to hurt him!" She yelled, growling as his suddenly pointed at her eyes.
"Aurelia, clam yourself, you're going to expose yourself." She frowned, before she let go of him and laced a hand on her throbbing veins.
She let out a breath, looking at Alaric, and then Luke, and then apologetically at Tyler, before turning on her heel to leave.
!
Aurelia wiped away another tear that fell, before resting her head on the back rest of her seat as she looked out the window at the passing scenery in the dark. She sighed, before looking at her phone. Giving her thought a second thought, and then a third, and then a fourth, she finally dialed his number.
Stefan looked at his phone as he took a sip from his bottle of beer, before sighing as he saw her name pop up. He simply muted the call and continued to drink.
"Hey, it's Stefan. Leave a message."
Aurelia closed her eyes, silencing her sobs.
Stefan's phone buzzed, and he looked at it, before playing the voicemail. "Hey, Stefan. It's Aurelia, and like a completely jobless person, I'm gonna leave you another message that you're not going to listen to."
"Today wasn't a good day, at least in comparison to the past four months." She said. "Everyone's pretending they can get through this alone, including me."
"Elena's been hallucinating Damon because of some herbs that Luke's been giving her, and it's messing her up. I figured that it's her that's the border vampire. Tyler's been hiding out at Whitmore, thinking he can outrun his werewolf gene just because bringing him back made him human. Caroline's put so much effort into researching to bring the barrier in Mystic Falls down."
"Matt and Jer never even leave Mystic Falls anymore. Over these months, an invisible wall's been built up between us and them, and now I just think that they're hoping we never come back." She chuckled. "I'm one to say that. It's not like I'm doing anything different." She paused. "Alaric's... still adjusting, and I hope he can pull through."
"I just want him to be better, because he doesn't deserve to struggle so much."
"And then... there's me."
Stefan looked at his phone, sliding it closer to him. "Sitting alone on a bus to my room in Grove Hill. I ran away from Whitmore because I refuse to accept that I'm... different, now. I'm not as confident as I was, because there's... this weight on me that I can't shake off. I feel so damn guilty for letting Bonnie, Damon and Lexi die just like that."
She kept a hand on the wall, switching on the light of her bathroom as she stood in front of her mirror. She washed her face, trying to forget.
"To add to that, I don't want to show that I'm hurting, so I've kept it all in. I haven't cried or shed a tear for four months. Every single day, it gets harder and harder to go on with life because I just want to stand on the highest building, and scream my lungs out."
She sighed, before squeezing her eyes shut, and running her fingers through her hair.
"I want to tear all my hair out, and I want to cry, because I blame myself for what Jeremy and Matt feel about us, I blame myself for Elena's hallucinations, I blame myself for the pain you feel, and I blame myself for stopping that spell because I was weak. I hate myself for that. Call me dramatic, but I've never felt loss this hard."
Stefan closed his eyes, placing his head in his hands.
"I want to turn it all off, Stefan. Either stake myself, or flip the switch. I hurt someone today, Stefan, because I wanted out."
She suddenly let out a strangled cry, before thrusting her fist into the mirror as hard as she could, shattering it. She screamed out, making the glass that held her toothbrush shatter.
"I'm different, now. I'm so sensitive, which is probably why news of you avoiding me sent me into a spiral. A year ago, I would've cried a little, and then I would be fine. Now, I'm probably gonna go home and break everything."
She cried, throwing everything off her bed, and table. She threw her chair across the room, breaking it into several pieces. She wrecked just about everything in her sight, before speeding to the several wooden pieces.
Taking a large makeshift stake, she pushed it into her stomach, screaming as she sank to her knees.
"Nothing makes me feel good anymore. I even tried to attack a protesting student today to feel just a little bit of pleasure, like I would from my psychotic days." He waited for her next words as she paused. "Maybe I'm still psychotic. I just traumatized my prey by having a conversation about vampires. All that's left is the humanity switch."
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked at the bloody stake next to her. She then leant her head against the wall and closed her eyes, searching for that one switch.
Stefan bit his lip, a tear streaming down his cheek as he heard a sigh. "So, that was my rant. You just heard everything, for real. How I feel right now. If you didn't understand, it's okay. I wouldn't expect you to, after losing Damon."
"I'm sorry." He muttered through his tears. "I'm so sorry, Aurelia."
"I wanna talk to you, hear your voice, hear you tell me that's it okay, or some shit that'll make me feel better. But this voicemail's gonna be left unheard, like my last 28. I just wanna say that I miss you, and if I do gain control of myself, I won't stop calling or messaging you, because I'm your friend, and I want to be there for you, even with the long message you just heard. No matter what, I won't give up on you if I don't give up on myself."
"I'm so sorry, Aurelia. I did this to you." He said, a soft sob escaping his lips as he took his phone.
The phone was crushed, and he left himself to sit there, without her.
Her leg suddenly hit something, and she opened her eyes, before picking up the picture frame. She looked at the picture, before letting out a breath. "K-Karissa."
Moments later, a gasp of relief came from her at the sound of her daughter's voice. "Mom, hey."
"Karissa."
"Mom, are you crying?"
"No, I just wanted to say I love you."
"Aw, I love you more. Now, what's going on?"
~