"Love, like everything else in life, should be a discovery, an adventure, and like most adventures, you don't know you're having one until you're right in the middle of it." E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
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IX.
Eliza's seasickness promptly returned during the night, and instead of sleeping, she spent most of her time cooped over the privy as she threw up every last bit of her evening meal.
She longed for more of the ginger tea that Eggs had brought her, but she dared not move from her position. She would not allow herself to make a mess of the captain's cabin. If she did, surely then he would throw her overboard.
She was exhausted, and her mouth tasted foul. She longed to drink something, and to clean her teeth.
As day broke, she saw the sunrise begin to shine in through the little window by Captain Buckley's desk but peering out from the privy. She was not alone for long once she sun was up.
Without a knock, the captain entered the cabin. He was dressed and made a beeline for his desk. It took him a moment to realise that Eliza was not in the bed. He immediately looked around, frowning impatiently.
He quickly spotted her in the privy, crouching over the box. Eliza was certain she was a brilliant shade of green.
"Do you know where you can go where you won't get seasick?" he asked her unsympathetically. "Back to your father's house."
The ship went over a wave. No doubt it was small, but to Eliza, it was the size of a house. She promptly hurled again. She could hear the captain making a noise of displeasure. She was certainly not enjoying it either.
Just as Eliza was about to weakly tell the captain where he could go, he promptly left the cabin, leaving her alone. He certainly was not one for sympathy or sentiment, or even conversation for that matter. Though Eliza was sure that she would not want to have a conversation with someone in her condition for fear of getting sick herself.
The door to the cabin opened again about fifteen minutes later. She heard loud footsteps cross the floor, before the man cleared his throat as he stood before her.
Eliza forced herself to look up from the privy to see that Captain Buckley had returned, and he was holding out a hot cup of something to her. The smell quickly reached her, and she knew it was the ginger tea that had settled her stomach the day before.
He was looking down on her with a disapproving scowl, but then that was how he had always looked. Maybe it was simply Eliza who annoyed him. The first time that she had met him on the dock a few days earlier, he looked just as displeased.
How horrid would it be for one to be so perpetually dissatisfied?
Eliza forced herself to accept the cup, and she drank, willing the ginger to take effect instantly, even though it would not. She prayed she would be able to keep the tea down long enough for it to work.
"Thank you," she mumbled.
"If you are going to travel aboard this ship, Miss Banes, then you are going to work. If you are throwing up, you are of no use to me," Captain Buckley snapped icily.
Eliza flinched, but stared up at him with confusion and curiosity. His hard, cold demeanour had not changed. It was as though he was determined to be dissatisfied with her, and everything else.
What on earth would have to happen to a person to have them become this? What had happened to the captain? Who was he really? Surely he could not have always been this way.
Eliza believed that all people were inherently good. It was a matter of their experiences in life that changed a person.
"It is not what you thought, is it?"
Eliza quickly snapped out of her daydream and registered what Captain Buckley had just said. "What wasn't?" she asked.
"This," he murmured. "Life aboard a ship. You are but a silly child, run away from home, and you are quickly realising that life at sea is an unforgiving existence."
Eliza's eyes narrowed. Had she been able to stand, she would have done. She would have even stood up on the bed to be taller than the man, just so she could look down upon him.
"It is true that I did not expect such violent sickness," Eliza said through clenched teeth, "but that does not make me silly, and it certainly does not make me a child. I am not a child. I am three and twenty."
"You are run away from home. That makes you every bit a ridiculous child," Captain Buckley countered. He spoke without care, without feeling. He had no notion of how his words affected her, nor any sympathy if he did indeed realise.
"I am not run away from home," Eliza retorted. "I have every intention of returning home. I am instead running toward something." Eliza took a breath. "I have only one option in my life, Captain. I was born to do one thing, the only thing that is available to me. Be married. My mother would have me married to whichever bore with a good name pays me a little attention, and every single one of them sees little more than a bag of coins when they look at me."
Captain Buckley's expression did not change. He remained hard and cold.
"Forgive me for wanting to experience something more than what is expected of me before I settle into obscurity. I understand that is where I must end up. But if I did not do something reckless and impulsive then I was going to throw myself from a window."
Captain Buckley pressed his lips together in a firm line. "So, to put it plainly, Princess is tired of her castle, and thought she would take a jolly holiday about a working ship without the Captain's permission, before returning to her rich society friends?" he said mockingly.
Eliza threw the cup of hot tea at Captain Buckley in a fit of rage. He effortlessly dodged the cup as the contents spilled all over the timber floor. Eliza scrambled to her feet, feeling like an unsteady deer.
"Did someone spit in your tea? Is that why you are such an arse?" she brazenly demanded to know.
Captain Buckley immediately held his index finger up to her, as though he was about to scold her like a naughty child. "Don't you darespeak to me like that," he spat.
"Well don't you speak to me like that!" she shot back. Eliza was standing up as straight as she could, but she was still a head and a half shorter than the man. It made it very difficult to look intimidating when she was the height of an imp. "You did something nice for me in fetching that tea, and then you had to ruin it by being cruel. It is almost like you cannot bear the thought of someone thinking you are kind. Does making fun of me make you feel better?"
For the first time in their short acquaintance, Eliza saw an emotion on the captain's face other than pure callousness. His eye twitched, and she saw that she had struck a nerve. He was quick to mask it, but that was what it was, a mask.
His black eyes flared, and his teeth clenched. He seemed to grow eight inches as he bent over her. "You will clean every inch of this floor," he seethed, "and every inch of that deck." He pointed towards the door. "And you will not have a scrap of food until I can see my reflection in that timber." He turned on his heel and stormed towards the door. He stopped at the entrance, and added, "Don't test me, Miss Banes, and don't you even thinkthat you understand me. This journey can be easy or hard. It is up to you." And with that, he left her there.
***
Eliza cleaned the captain's floor diligently, all the while knowing that she had provoked more out of the captain than he realised.
Something had happened to him. Something awful, Eliza theorised. It was always the way with the tragic heroes in her books. Something in their wayward pasts drove them to piracy. But what could have happened to Captain Buckley, she wondered.
Perhaps a broken heart. That would be terribly romantic. His lover might have died, or spurned him for another, leaving him with only the sea for company. That would certainly explain how horrible he could be when he was in a mood.
Which, in Eliza's presence, seemed to be always.
Her theories kept her mind occupied out on deck as well. She had fetched the mop and bucket that she had used to clean the cargo hold from the day before. Using a scrubbing brush was hard on her hands. Not that a mop was much easier.
Eliza found that after a while she was growing exhausted. There was no method, and she was probably just pushing dirt and grime around, rather than effectively cleaning.
What made things worse was that she could feel Captain Buckley watching her, no doubt waiting to criticise and scold her once again.
"You need to be singing, Eliza Lee!"
Eliza stopped as she spotted Cian coming up towards the helm where she was mopping. "I am not nearly as talented a singer as you are, Mr Flanagan," she informed him.
Cian chuckled. "'Tis not for talent, nor enjoyment, Eliza Lee," he replied, "but for the mundane tasks. Keeps you working efficiently. Shanties serve many a purpose aboard a ship. Here, let me show you." He motioned for the mop and Eliza handed it to him. Clearing his throat, he began. "Oh, come all ye young fellows that follows the sea!" he sang, mopping the deck in a figure eight pattern that matched the pace of the lyric. "Now, this is where you respond," he urged.
"I do not know the words."
"To me, way hey, blow the man down," he told her. "I'll start again, and then you respond, understand?"
Eliza nodded.
"Oh, come all ye young fellows that follows the sea!" sang Cian, resuming his methodical mopping motion.
"To me, way hey, blow the man down," Eliza responded in song.
"Now please pay attention and listen to me," Cian continued singing. "And you sing, 'Give me some time to blow the man down'."
"Give me some time to blow the man down," Eliza sang back.
"I'm a deep water sailor just come from Hong Kong, you give me some whiskey, I'll sing you a song!"
Cian taught Eliza the rest of the song, and Eliza could not believe that it actually worked. She had seen the shanties being used for arduous work, but to make mundane, boring tasks entertaining, yet efficient, was genius.
Eliza paced her mopping strokes with the rhythm of the song. As she worked, and made her way across the ship, she noticed many of the other sailors watching her with curiosity. She was not so embarrassed considering everyone else sang as they worked as well.
"Have some hard tack."
Eliza stopped mopping when she saw Jonesy standing before her, holding out a piece of the flat bread that she had eaten for dinner the night before. It was called hard tack, was it?
As if on cue, her empty stomach grumbled. "Thank you, Mr Jonesy," she said gratefully.
"Just Jonesy is all, Miss," he corrected. "We noticed you didn't eat this morning. It is very apparent when you are not present, being a woman and all. We've quickly become used to seeing a woman aboard."
Eliza was touched to see Jonesy had spread some marmalade on her bread for her. "I truly am sorry," she said again, nodding towards the clothespin that he had pinned to his shirt. There were no prizes for guessing where he had been this morning. Eliza could smell it.
"I know you are, Miss." He offered her a small, forgiving smile. It was clear that he blamed himself and Echo, more than he did Eliza, and that was a true testament of a man with honour. "Eat," he encouraged.
***
Jackie Despard watched in utter perplexity as Tom stood by the helm. His eyes were not on the wheel, the horizon, or any of the men. Instead, his focus was entirely on the woman. Though she did not look much of a woman in her current attire.
Jackie felt the need to say a prayer again. He wondered if the fact that she was wearing men's breeches cancelled out some of the bad luck?
Jackie had noticed how inept Eliza was at mopping. It was obvious that she had never completed a chore in her life. The Irishman, Cian, had taught her a work song to help her work more efficiently, and that had certainly helped her.
And Jackie had also noticed how hard his captain was concentrating on Eliza. Tom seemed toenjoypicking on her, which Jackie could understand. Not only was she bad luck, but she was also a stowaway.
If Jackie looked closely enough, he could have sworn that he saw Tom's mouth upturned a little. Was that ... could it be a smile? He did not think he had ever seen the captain smile before.
Jackie looked down at Eliza. She was not only cleaning, but she was practically dancing the with the mop. She was singing and seemed entirely oblivious at just how much attention was on her.
Jonesy approached Eliza with some bread, and it quietened her.
Jackie approached Tom, and muttered, "Enjoying the view?"
Tom had been so focused on Eliza, that he had not noticed Jackie joining him. Tom jumped, and quickly regained his usual abrasive exterior. "It's hard to concentrate with all that racket," he grumbled. "Go and tell her to be quiet so that I can hear myself think."
Jackie obliged him, but in his mind, he knew that the captain's thinking was just fine.
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Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for being away for a few days. I've been back at work these last two days and it's really taken it out of me!
I hope all my American readers had a lovely Thanksgiving! My story stats tell me that at least 30% of you are from the US. I love that feature, and seeing how many nationalities there are of people that read my work. I just find it amazing that there are so many like-minded people around the world who like the same stories I do :)
No, I teased some amazing news on my Instagram this week when I was talking about what I was thankful for this year.
I've had an amazing year in some respects, and an exhausting one in others. It's been really crappy to end my year with pneumonia but it's okay!
On Wednesday morning I went for an interview for my DREAM JOB! My dream school, dream everything. I was the first one interviewed at 8am and at 5pm I still hadn't heard anything so I was certain I didn't get it. I was cut, but I would survive. My mum got home and asked me if I'd heard anything and literally THAT SECOND my phone rang.
The principal said he had some positive news, that I was the best candidate, and he would love to offer me a job in his school.
I GOT MY DREAM JOB YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
I have literally been on Cloud 9 all week. I'm so excited for this next chapter in 2020. I literally burst into tears when I hung up the phone.
You guys, I have worked so hard! I have worked hard all year to have the experience for this job. Before that, I studied for SIX LONG YEARS at university. I am so ready to get my hands dirty.
Hard work pays off. Determination and passion will take you far. Never, ever give up!! I hope you all get what you deserve, and I hope you keep persevering until you achieve it!!
You guys are actually the first people that I'm telling. Aside from my immediate family and my best friend, I haven't told anyone because I'm waiting to have my picture taken with my contract like a big loser to post on social media for my friends and extended family hahahahaha
But you guys have been with me since I was 17. I feel like we know each other :)
Okay, I need to get some sleep. Vote and comment xxxx