I took his offer. It beats walking all alone at night, besides what's the worst that could happen right?
"So how are you liking Korea? Did you move here for Taecyeon-nim?" He asked.
"Korea is nice. Very beautiful and no. I'm not staying for very long." I said.
I wanted to just keep it short. If I say too much he might suspect something.
"Your Korean is very good. Were you just shy to talk to me at first?" He asked.
"Yes, I was. I am not accustomed to..umm. To speak to others so much yet. That's why I got a job." I said.
He nodded. "That's good. Maybe I'll come by often so we can talk more. Well...if that's okay"
I wanted to say No but I can't...
"That's fine" I said.
It was quiet for a bit.
"So, how did you and Taecyeon meet?"
Damn. What am I gonna say?!
"Well...Taecyeon and I met at a party." I said.
He goes to parties all the time and events so...
"Oh, love at first sight?" He asked with a smile.
"Mm. Hehe."
It was a funny thought really, I imagined the scenario and it all seemed silly, I couldn't help but giggle.
"What's so funny?" He asked.
"Nothing. It's just, See...Taecyeon and I...well, it's complicated." I said.
"Rough patch?"
"You could say that." I said. "So what about you?"
I looked at him.
He gulped and seemed embarrassed. "M-Me?"
"Yeah. Are you in love with someone or have a crush?" I asked.
After all this time I'm sure he has someone or at least LIKES someone.
He took a deep breath.
"There is a girl...I fell in love with her the moment I laid eyes on her." He began.
She must be really breath taking then. I've never seen him look like this before, he seems hurt but at the same time the thought of this girl soothes him.
"What happened?" I asked.
"She broke my heart and I'll never understand why...all I did was give and I got nothing in return" he said.
"I'm sorry to hear that Kai...But you'll find someone one day" I said.
He shook his head. "No. I love her even til this day. It's a love that won't ever disappear, I could get married and still I'd have those feelings..."
"She really must have been something for you to say such things. But if it's not too bold to ask, what was she like?" I asked. "How did you meet her?"
"I met her at the beach." He smiled at the memory. "She's absolutely gorgeous. She's kind of short but she herself is...wow. Beauty beyond belief. A sexy mind too, she's smart. She's really sweet and kind. Pretty much the ideal girl of any man, she has everything. But...there was someone else. It felt like a love triangle almost but in the end I was willing to let her go, even though I agreed I'd stay friends with her...my feelings for her haven't changed at all." He said.
This sound so familiar...a bit too familiar. Déjà vu almost.
I cleared my throat. "What was her name?"
He sighed. "Her name's Karen"
My eye widened.
"K-Karen?" I repeated.
He looked at me. "Yeah. Why? You know her?"
"N-No! Why would I?" I asked panicked.
"Well, you're acting kind of weird."
"Sorry. It's..a condition. I got a bit excited...hehe." I said.
Idiot! You could've blown your cover!! But...He still loves me....He admitted it just now. I felt so bad, I never meant to hurt him. He was so good to me and he gave me his heart. All I did was step on it and walk away, but it wasn't my fault...was it?
"Marie..."
"Yes Kai?" I asked.
"You remind me of her. I don't know why but no one has captured my attention like Karen has....until I saw you. I know you're with Taecyeon, so I apologize. But I just can't explain, see, I wish I could have Karen for 1 day. At least ONE day...all to myself and I'd prove my love for her. I'd show her that she is all I'd ever need. I'd go as far as leaving EXO for her...just to be with her and settle down. It's pathetic isn't it? That I still have hope for us when it's clear that we'll never be...not even in my dreams. Because her heart belongs to someone else." He said.
His words touched me in a way that brought me to tears. I never meant to bring him such hurt and agony. I've been so blind that I just couldn't see that still being his friend affected him like this. I have my twins and....
"Marie? Are you alright?"
"Kai, you're not pathetic. If she hurt you that much you shouldn't waste time on her, it's horrible that she made you feel like this. I'm so sorry" I said and wiped my eyes.
This was me apologizing in secrecy. But I just couldn't help it, I really felt bad. The way he expresses himself about me and what he'd be willing to give up for me...just to be with me. It's saddening to me and it makes me regret that I never even gave him an opportunity...
Wait..what am I saying? That I have feelings for him? But...I can't....this isn't right.
He held my hand. "It's okay. I promise I'm going to be fine, don't cry please. It kind of makes me feel...like less of a man. Because you cry for something that you didn't do. You weep for something that has nothing to do with you, please stop..." He looked at me the. Wiped my tears.
I wanted to give up and tell him it was me that he said that to me but I know if I do I know I'll regret it.
"I'm sorry. I get emotional. But Kai don't give up on love, soon enough you'll find the one."
He took a deep breath and smiled. "I don't think I will but I'll keep that in mind."
I slightly smiled back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We talked about other things, such as EXO and his climb to the top. I was surprised that some things he had never told me but he told Marie. We joked around and also talked about work. We finally arrived to Taecyeon's house. I thanked him for walking me out all the way here. He hugged me.
"Thank you. I needed to talk to someone and I'm glad it was you." He said.
I hugged him back. "You're welcome."
"I'll see you later" he smiled.
I smiled. "Okay. Bye Kai"
The door was unlocked just as Taecyeon said, I walked inside and closed the door. I sighed. That was a hard thing to do, I still can't believe that he admitted all those things about me. I looked around the house and it wasn't hard to find my room. It had my luggage inside.
*VRRRRR VRRRRR VRRRRR*
It's Jimin....
I sighed. "Hello...."
"Babe, I'm so glad you answered."
"..........."
"You're still mad at me?"
" I don't know...."
I honestly felt like crap and I wished he was with me. I wanted to be in his arms and close my eyes. I wanted all this to be over...I've had enough.
"Baby I'm sorry. I just felt a little desperate, please forgive me. I miss you so much..."
Don't cry. Suck it up. Don't cry.
"Babe? Are you there?"
"Yeah....I'm here"
"What's the matter?"
Why did he ask me that? I began to cry. I cried because of what Kai had said, I cried because I missed my kids, I cried because I missed Jimin. I cried because I was tired of being alone. He's so close but yet so far...
"Babe...what happened?"
"Do you regret being with me? Do you regret meeting me? Ever laying eyes on me?" I asked as I tried co posing myself.
"What? No. Of course not. Why would you say that? I regret nothing. Karen, I love you. Why are you talking like that?"
"I'm such an unfit parent and an unfit woman....We can't even be together because of me. This is all my fault and I wish that I could fix it and I wish people liked me and accepted me but that's never going to happen is it?"
I'm having a major breakdown.
"Baby..."
"Not even your own mother likes me..." I began to sob.
So many emotions at once.
"Karen, calm down. Please."
"Jimin, I can't do this...I just can't. I'm going insane, I'm literally just tired of hiding, I'm tired of being alone. I wanna be with you and my kids. I want us to be together again."
"And we will be babe. Just be patient okay? I promise we're doing what we can."
I already know 90% of everything happening and they're still in square one.
"If you say so..."
"You think I'm lying?"
I sighed. "I don't want to argue okay..."
"I'm not. I'm asking you."
"No. Okay." I sighed.
"lighten up Babe. I have some good news, We might be going to LA soon. Maybe you can go up there and see me." He said happily.
"Maybe." I said.
He stayed quiet.
"I gotta go. I guess call me when you're awake or at night."
"Okay..."
He hung up.
I went take a hot shower and got ready for bed. I lay there staring at the ceiling and listen to sad songs that made me cry. I honestly didn't know what to do anymore, at this point I regretted everything. I regretted stepping into the world of KPOP and Fame. I regretted winning that contest but most of all I regretted my existence.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The next morning, I woke feeling like I had a hangover. My head felt like it was going to explode and I could barely open my eyes. I looked at the time, it was 10:30 a.m. I took a deep breath. The day seemed gloomy and dark, I looked out the window and watched the droplets of rain stream down the glass. I haven't felt like this in so long, this deep depression and darkness inside.
I watched the rain for a few more minutes and went to shower. After I got dressed, I walked out to the kitchen. A note?
"Good Morning Sleepy Head :P
Geez, what'd you do last night that you're not even awake yet?
Anyway, Busy day ahead of me. I'll see you later tonight. I'll go pick you up this time okay? Haha. Text me when you're out and I'll be right over. Well, have a good day 'babe' xD
Have a good day and you better eat this food! I made it just for you ^^
Bye~~
XOXO
-Taecyeon"
I wasn't even hungry. I don't want him to pick me up, I want to walk in the rain, this whole thing is spiraling and I don't know how to stop. I ate the food anyway but didn't enjoy it although it was delicious. I was just to upset to fully focus. I called Liz and asked her if she could come over just to fix my hair. I had already done my makeup. She told me she had moved nearby and if I wanted to, I could come over since it would be suspicious. 2 women coming out of Taecyeon's house.
So I did what I could to cover myself and made it to Liz. She took one look at me and knew I was depressed.
"Spill it girl."
I told everything.
"Girl, sleep with Kai."
"That's cheating though. I can't do that" I said.
"Make out with him. Girl you need to give back something, you never gave him a chance. Give something back. Besides he's gonna find out one way or another that this is all a disguise and then what? He told Marie a.k.a YOU all these things."
"But it's not just that that's bothering me." I said.
"Well, About Jimin. Girl is he willing to do what Kai is willing to do for you?"
I'm not sure anymore....
"What about your kids?"
What about them....
"Liz, do you believe in fortune telling?" I asked.
"Yeah, that stuff is pretty accurate. Why?"
I told her what Hana had said to me.
"What?! Girl you need to be careful with your kids." She said.
"How? They aren't with me...you think this is easy for me? It's really frustrating okay? I'm scared that at any moment my phones going to ring and that they're going to tell me that something bad happened." I said. "Liz I'm at a loss"
"Have you told Jimin this?"
"How am I supposed too?" I asked. "Besides he insists the kids are fine with his parents. He even suggested I let his mother adopt them..."
"What? What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm beginning to think that maybe Jimin and I were a mistake, that all of this was just all a dream and that soon I'll wake up and realize my life isn't what I thought it was." I said.
"All I can say is Hana isn't wrong so far. This whole Kai thing, it's gonna happen one way or another. She said you'd have your happy ending though so that counts right?"
"Liz in all honesty, if I make it out of this alive and what Hana says comes true. I'll choose my own happy ending and complete rid myself of Jimin and Kai and everyone I know in the KPOP industry. It'll be done with and I'll live my life ignoring what had been before." I said.
"Would you really be okay with doing that?" She asked.
I shrugged. "I could always try"
"What if it doesn't?" She asked.
"I'll simply await death" I said.
"Karen, please don't say such things. Just take it day by day for now okay?"
I took a deep breath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Since when do we have a stage?" I asked Hana.
"Since the restaurant is gonna have live entertainment" Hana smiled.
"Like bands?" I asked.
"It's open to the public. So we could even sing!" She squealed excitedly. "But the boss has to approve."
"Has this always been here?" I asked. "There's no way they just built it."
"Yup. It was just covered up. See, there's a piano and there's the mic stand. The boss didn't open at al, during the day time so a bunch of us will be working tonight. It'll be like a grand opening but not really" she said.
"Marie, you interested in singing?"
"Me?" I pointed to myself.
"Yeah. I hear ya singing sometimes. It sounds good. Come on, do it for opening night, I honestly don't have any performers for tonight"
"Errr...I don't know sir." I said.
"Okay, well I'll make it your job to sing. You sing tonight and I'll pay ya extra."
I took a deep breath. I could use some extra cash but what am I supposed to sing?
"Um, sir...what am I supposed to sing?" I asked.
"Anything you want." He smiled.
"Well....alright."
Hana clapped excitedly. "I can't wait!"
Yeah...me either....
We set the tables and I thought of songs that I could possibly sing but I could only think about love songs. The boss did say I could sing anything right? I'm really nervous.
"Marie go get ready. Do you need an instrument?"
"Uhh, do you have a guitar?" I asked.
"Yes. I do as a matter of fact." He smiled and walked to the back.
I took my apron off and fixed my hair. I made sure my make up looked good. I want to look presentable after all.
He returned with an acoustic guitar. Good enough. I made sure it sounded good. I stood on the stage.
"Okay before I let anyone in. Give us a little show."
The employees gathered around. I gulped. I strummed the guitar and closed my eyes.
"Oh the sky's grey
On this workday
You're just playing along
Just to see the day through
You're lonely and blue
Writings on the window
There's a deep longing sigh
You're far off in thoughts
You heart's grown all cold
It would be fun if you could sing a song
Let it rain, rain
It's the perfect weather for contemplating
Let it rain, rain
For after such a weather
Sunshine will come
The rainbows
And the laughter
And the serious smile
It's teasing you pal
Like it's coming to get you
Oh they wish for you
To be happy again
But you're locked up inside
You're missing your cue
Feeling weary
Stop running away
You're finding it hard to breathe
Let it rain, rain
It's the perfect weather for contemplating
Let it rain, rain
For after such a weather
Sunshine will come"
I strummed the guitar for a little longer then stopped and opened my eyes.
They began clapping.
"Thank you" I smiled.
"Okay. Let's open the doors. Marie, play another song." He said.
I nodded and strummed the guitar. I began with happy songs and I found it to be very relaxing and it was as if nothing else mattered but this moment. I forgot about everything as I stood here strumming the guitar and singing. The customers seemed to really enjoy all this, it was pretty full. For the closing songs, I thought of slow romantic songs. I sat down on a chair and began to play the melody.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do
All the morning sun and all it's glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter
You can make it better
Ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
And it's yours and it's mine, like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray, to the one
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
And it's yours and it's mine
And it shines like a sun
At the end of the day
We would give thanks and pray, to the one
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do
Take away all my sadness
Fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles that's what you do
Fill my life with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do......"
I slightly smiled as I slowly strummed the ending of the song. When I sang that song it made me feel sad again. I wished I could tell Jimin these words but my heart seems to have gone in a different direction. Everything I talked with Liz really got me thinking and also what Hana had said to me had me wondering what direction my life would take and if I would truly be happy. The song ended and everyone began to clap. I stood up and bowed my head.
"Thank you" I smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's really storming, isn't it?" Hana said as she wiped the tables.
"Yes, it is." I said.
"Is something the matter?" Hana asked.
"No. Why?" I asked.
"Well, you seem so lost in thought. You look sad and unsure. That song that you sang at the end...was it meant for someone?"
"Yes. It was but I feel so confused and unsure of everything happening in my life right now." I said.
I wanted her to read my palm again to see if anything has changed.
"Let me see your palm" she said.
Although I was curious. I was afraid but I gave her my hand.
"Hmm. Things have changed." She said.
"Th-They have? What changed?" I asked.
"Ladies, please help finish then you can talk. I'll give you a drink on the house" the boss smiled.
"Yes sir." We said.
"I have my cards with me today. It'll give me much more detail." Hana said.
I took a deep breath. I assume it was bad then.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
We sat in a corner and she took my hand. She looked at my palm and then looked at me.
"Marie, you need to be careful. Trust only those who are close to you, I can see that your enemies are looking for you. The men who love you will confront each other once more and you will have to make a decision."
"What about my kids?" I asked.
"Do you want to know?" She asked.
I don't know....
"Hana is it bad?" I asked.
She shuffled the cards and looked very focused. She began setting the cards down, one by one.
"Death. Prosperity. Love. Desire. Tragedy. Happiness." She read as she set each one down.
I looked at the death card.
"Marie...The future can always change. Don't forget that."
But so far what she said is true. The whole love quarrel. I'm going through that right now...there's no way this is wrong.
"Hana, there are 4 good ones. How?" I asked.
"These four cards will come into play once you've made your decision. In other words you can't go wrong with either. Both of those men love you unconditionally and will do anything for you, the tragedy card will also take place when you make your decision because one of them will be heart broken." She explained.
I thought of Kai.
"But, what if since at the moment-"
"Give the other something in return?" She asked.
How did she know?
"It'll give him peace of mind that at least his fantasy and desire has been fulfilled." She said with wryly smile.
"And if I don't?" I asked.
"She pointed at the tragedy card. Marie if you have a desire for this man then I suggest you do what you need to or you'll never be happy. That is what this card is. 'Desire'. Only you can answer that one" she said.
"But you said that the tragedy card could go either way"
She nodded. "It can but Desire can change it. The future can always change my dear friend, but it's all on you."
Which means the death card isn't about my love dilemma. Does it mean that I'm really going to lose my twins?
"And the death card?" I asked.
She grabbed one last card from her deck and set in down. My eyes widened.
"Marie, be cautious and alert." She said.
She began putting her cards away.
*VRRRRR VRRRRR VRRRRR*
I grabbed my phone. "Hello?"
"Hey. I'm outside"
"Oh. Okay. I'll be right out."
I forgot about Taecyeon...
I hung up.
"I'll see you Monday" Hana smiled.
"Monday?"
"Yeah you're off for the weekend." She said.
"Oh right. I'll see you then" I smiled. "Thanks for everything"
She smiled and nodded.
I grabbed my sweater and purse. I went outside, Taecyeon opened the door for me. At least it wasn't pouring out. I got inside and he began driving.
"How was work?" He asked.
I told him about the new stage thing and how they made me sing.
"Sounds fun. Maybe I'll come here sometime and request you" he chuckled.
I smiled.
"How'd you get home yesterday?" He asked.
"I walked. Well, actually Kai and I...he walked me." I said.
"Kai? What was he doing out?" He asked.
I shrugged. "He said he was out for a walk."
"Did he ask anything weird?" He asked.
"No. He just asked how we met and stuff. Not really anything strange"
Except for the fact that I'm the reason he's been hurting.
"I also talked to Jimin last night" I said.
"Is everything okay?" He asked.
"I don't know. I feel like maybe the spark that was there has gone away." I said.
"Why don't you just tell him that you're here?"
"I can't Taecyeon. Those girls are looking for me and if they find out I'm here...who knows what'll happen. They already threatened us more than once. I'm also worried for the kids." I said.
"Why?"
"Do you believe in fortune telling?" I asked.
"No. But tell me what did this person say to you?"
I told him what Hana had said.
"What was the card that she pulled out last?"
"The Hanged Man..."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Sacrifice."
He stayed quiet as he contemplated what I had said to him.
"Karen, do you think all those things will happen?" He asked.
"I don't know but I'm afraid Taecyeon. I'm really scared that something horrible will happen and it'll be my fault. I disobeyed what Jimin wanted me to do, disobedience comes with a consequence. If those girls find out I'm here, one of us will pay and I know for a fact they'll go for the twins. They've tried before."
He took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be a burden, Taecyeon. I can go stay somewhere else like a hotel or something. I don't want you to be involved in such a thing. Really."
"No. Karen, I'm not going to let you stay somewhere alone okay? I'm just worried. If what you're saying is true then just be really careful at work. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. The twins are with his parents and I'm sure they'll be fine."
"Thank you. I'll be extra careful, Sarah sent me some messages earlier and she says they've found a house outside the city already, just a few more days and it'll be ours to claim. She also says Aaron and Dylan found the last two girls but they don't seem like a threat. So I suppose that's good but I want to confront them, I want to deal with them myself." I said.
"That's too dangerous. Are you crazy?"
"I want to know why. I know technically I'll never be accepted by anyone here, but why is it so bad? What have I ever done to deserve such a thing. Not only me but everyone around, because of me so many people's lives are at stake." I said.
"Some people are just ignorant and closed minded about things but Karen there's nothing wrong with you being with Jimin okay? Who cares what everyone else thinks? There's always going to be something people don't agree with. There's nothing you can do but these girls have to be dealt with properly. I say you should turn them in. You have evidence don't you?"
"Well, yes I do but...like I said they won't believe me. It's a foreigners word against a citizens."
"What about Jimin? I'm sure if you tell him once you've found them and exactly where they all meet, You can tell him and then he can do it"
"True. I think I'll do that" I said.
It sounds so easy when he says it like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days later we moved into our new place. Jimin hasn't called me but Kai's been coming to the restaurant more. Seems like I've relived this situation before, funny how history seems to repeat itself. Taecyeon along with his members were going on tour and we were extremely close to figuring everything out. I was Caleb during the day and Marie at night, everything seemed to be going well. Even though I knew nothing about my twins, my team's work was almost up. All they needed to do was figure out where their meet ups were and then I'd be on my own. I was a bit scared of what this outcome would be but I knew it was necessary. The smart thing to do would be to take up on Taecyeon's advice but I can't do that. I wanted to do things my way.
Aaron: We've narrowed it down to this warehouse and this abandoned house. It's either of these.
The good thing was that Jaykyung was officially out of the picture. I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with a gangster girl.
Sarah: I'll leave all of this here with you. Karen, we've done everything we could up to this point and I can sincerely say it's been great being here with you.
I smiled. "Thank you Sarah. I couldn't have done it without any of you."
They were leaving one by one to keep levels of suspicion at a bare minimum. Which was a good strategy.
Sarah: Keep in touch. Good luck with everything. All you need is on this laptop, if you have any questions call me.
"I will and thank you once again."
We hugged and I bid her farewell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nora and Liz were willing to stay with me, no extra charge. Which was a huge relief for me! I needed them so much. Nora did a better job with Caleb and Liz was phenomenal when it came to Marie. I was off to work, the night shift again. Kai said he'd stop by, I'm thinking of telling him what's going on but I'm also afraid that he'll be mad at me for lying to him.
I arrived to work and went to punch in.
"Marie. I need you to close up tonight, Y-You're in charge." My boss approached me.
"Close? In charge?" I asked.
He nodded. "Here are the keys. My wife is going into labor and I need to be there, please. She is already on her way to the hospital"
"Yes, of course. Congrats sir." I smiled.
He smiled back and quickly made his way out.
"Ohh. You're the boss tonight~" Hana smiled.
"Guess so. Is everything ready?"
She nodded. "Yup. Everyone is ready and we're opening in less than a minute."
"I'll go open the door and greet people. Who's performing tonight?" I asked.
She shrugged.
No act?! Oh no.
I opened the door and greeted the people inside. They sat down and soon they place was full, everyone was already taking orders and walking back and forth. It was madness!
What am I supposed to do?!
"Marie, get up there" Hana said as she walked by.
I can't possibly....man...
"Need help?"
Hm?
"Kai" I said.
"You seemed surprised. Hehe. Luckily I brought the guys." He smiled.
I'm saved!
"Really? You'd do that?" I asked.
He nodded.
They came inside and I greeted them. They walked up to the stage, I wonder what on earth they were going to sing. Chen, Baekhyun and D.O went first. The employees put chairs up for the rest of EXO but then they just decided to get a table and chill.
Baekhyun played the piano.
Miracles in December...
I remembered when Kai showed this song to me. It was hurtful to listen too the first time and even now it kind of is too.
"Lucky us huh? More people are coming in!" Hana grinned. "This is gonna be a really successful night~"
She got back to work and I also helped in what I could. While the EXO boys sang and did their thing, I helped bringing out food and greeting. It was indeed a very busy night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phew. That was exhausting, I thanked the boys for their hard work. I really did appreciate it. We would've been doomed without them. They even helped clean up the place, everyone went home tired but I still had to double check and make sure everything was in tact.
"Aren't you leaving now too?" Kai asked.
"No. I still have to do some things." I said.
"I'll stay with you." He smiled.
My heart raced.
"Kai, you coming?"
"Uh. I'll catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna walk Marie home" he said.
"Alright. Later. Bye Marie"
"Bye and thanks again" I smiled.
Hana: I'll see you tomorrow Marie. Bye Kai.
Kai smiled.
"Bye Hana. Be careful. Text me when you're home."
Hana: I will~
She walked out the door. The place is empty now. I went to lock the door and grabbed the clip board.
"Aren't you gonna sing a song for me?" Kai asked.
"Me?" I looked at him.
"Yeah. I sang for you no you sing for me" he smiled.
"Well...I suppose it's fair." I said.
I went to get the guitar and turned the mic on. He sat on a chair in front where the stage was. I strummed the guitar and began to sing.
"Fly me to the moon
Let me play amoung the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling kiss me
Fill my heart with song and
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Fill my heart with song and
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you"
He looked at me wide eyed and he didn't really know what to say or do. He just stared at me. Was it something I did?
"Well, thats the song, I hope you liked it." I slightly smiled and turned the mic off.
I walked off the stage and put the guitar back. I made sure the clip board was filled out but he was quiet. He was still sitting down and it was like he was lost in thought. Maybe it was my choice in song but I don't know...that was the first song that came to mind. Everything seemed to be in order. I can finally go home.
"Kai, are you ready to go?" I asked.
"Hmm?" He looked up. "Oh. Yeah if you're ready lets go."
I put my sweater on and got my backpack. We went through the back and it was pouring. We ran as fast as we could and found some shelter, under a tree. I shivered.
"When did it get so cold?" I asked.
"I didn't think it was going to rain" he said.
With this rain, how will I get home?
"There's a café/hotel." He said. "We could wait there until the rain stops."
I might spend the night there. There's no way I'm going home in this rain. We made a run for it and the café was full. Guess we weren't the only ones who were trying to keep dry.
"You wanna just get a room?" I suggested. "We could always wait there, besides I think I'll stay the night. There's no way I'm going to be able to get home in this rain" I said.
"Uh. Sure. Beats being down here all crowded" he said.
Alone with Kai at a Hotel...What if something happens? My heart was racing and Liz's words ran through my mind.
'Give something back'
But....
"I got us a room." Kai said.
"Ah!" I jumped. "Sorry. Keke. You startled me." I said.
He smiled. "It's okay. Come on."
We walked upstairs and walked into our room. There was one queen sized bed and it was rather small. But there was a couch, at least we'd both be able to sit there.
I took my sweater off and hung it by the furnace so it would dry. Kai did the same. It was rather nice in here. Warm. We sat on the couch, it was quiet. There wasn't a TV in here.
"You have a very beautiful voice Marie." He spoke.
"Thank you" I said.
"Can you sing it again? Just one more time?" He looked at me.
I gulped and my heart began to race.
"Please?"
"Uh...ahem. Well okay" I said.
He waited.
I cleared my throat and looked at the floor as I sang. I couldn't bare to look at him.
"Fly me to the moon
Let me play amoung the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling kiss me
Fill my heart with song and
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you..."
He turned my face, my heart was racing out of control.
"Marie..."
I need to tell him that it's me...not Marie.
"Kai, there's something I need to tell you" I said.
"After this."
He leaned in closer and closed his eyes.
This is it...
His lips touched mine, moving slowly against mine. I kissed him back. He stopped after a few seconds and pulled away.
He looked at me. "What did you want to tell me?"
I took a deep breath. "Kai, I'm not who you think I am. I knew I should've told you before but I just couldn't okay? I need to you to understand me and I just...I really need you." I looked at him.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"Kai..I'm not Taecyeon's girlfriend. He's just a friend, only pretending to be my boyfriend. See, I couldn't risk you knowing. Not yet. But I just can't hide it anymore. I'm Karen." I said and began explaining everything. "I'm really sorry and I understand if you never want to speak to me again and if you hate me....."
He stayed quiet for a little while but then he held my hands.
"I'm not mad at you Karen. I can't be, I love you and I always will no matter what." He looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it earlier."
"No. Don't be sorry. Please. I just feel so horrible for lying to you and when you told me how you felt about me...I just felt so sad. I never meant to hurt you Kai. I never intended for you to hurt so much for me, I was a fool for treating you so bad after everything you did for me and I know I can't take it back but Kai I do want you to know that it's not like I didn't think about it. The things you said and the way you were with me during my hard times made me wonder if I should've stayed with you but I-"
He kissed me again before I could say anything else.
I kissed him back. He let go of my hands and placed them on my waist. Even though I knew it was wrong I couldn't stop. I was still with Jimin but I felt as if I needed to do this so I could finally get over this. I needed to know if these feelings were real or if they were out of pity.
Soon I was on my back, still kissing him. Kai gently touching playfully on my body. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear and told me numerous times that he loved me. Oddly enough I could really feel the sincerity in his voice and his actions when he kissed me definitely proved it. The guilt I felt at the beginning was now gone, I felt as if Jimin didn't matter anymore. I was throwing all of that away for a night with Kai but can I go through with it? Knowing that there's a possibility I might get caught?
Kai carried me to the bed and lay down slowly. He climbed on top of me and looked at me. My heart raced. I felt as if I was going to have a heart attack.
"Do you want too?" He asked.
"Kai..." My voice trembled. "I don't want this to-"
He kissed me. "I promise. I just want have you to myself, to know what it's like to be with you. To feel like you're mine. Even if it is one night, I'm going to make you feel like you're the only girl in the world. You stole my heart and I intend to make this the most memorable night of your life and I swear to you that no one will ever know." He kept kissing me.
His lips traced my whole body. It felt as if I was being worshipped, a feeling I haven't felt before. He was swift but also very gentle as if I were something very valuable and fragile. Whispering things in my ear as he made his way inside. I dug my nails into his back, his hot breath on my neck. It felt so amazing, I was beginning to think Liz was right about this deep desire about being with Kai. He made me feel really loved, he made me feel new, he made me feel like I didn't have a care in the world. His fingers intertwined with mine as he sped up, making me gasp. I tightened my grip and squeezed his hands. He looked into my eyes throughout most of the time except when he'd kiss me or kissed my neck. But what I loved the most were his whispers and when he'd say my name. Everything he said he'd make me feel he did and I felt happy.
This wasn't my intention, I didn't think it was going to go this far. I know I won't be able to hide this from Jimin because the shame and guilt will overwhelm me. Then there's a possibility I'll lose him....forever. My kids...I'm going to lose it all. But I just didn't seem to care enough to make him stop. The desires of the flesh are a very mysterious thing because even though the heart says no, your mind is indecisive and your body says yes, this is good.
Once Kai had fallen asleep. I carefully got up and peeked through the blinds, the rain stopped. I think I'll go, I don't want to be seen walking out of the hotel like we're a couple or anything. I got dressed and walked over to Kai. He seemed so peaceful, asleep like that. I smiled to myself. I don't feel as bad anymore. I gave back. I leaned down to kiss his cheek before leaving. He opened his eyes and kissed me.
"You're leaving?" He whispered.
"My team will be wondering where I am." I said.
"Stay." He said. "Karen, I'm never going to get an opportunity like this again. Please stay with me." He looked at me.
I took a deep breath. I bit off more than I could chew.
I took my clothes off, but stayed in my underwear and bra. I lay in bed and he hugged me from behind.
"Do you feel guilty?" He asked.
"Yes and No" I said. "I'm at a loss right now really"
He kissed my shoulder. "What's the matter?"
I told him Hana's fortune.
"So you're saying most of the things she's said have came true"
I nodded.
"What're you going to do if he rest comes true?" He asked.
"I'll rid myself of all this. Kai, I'm not going to hurt anyone anymore. If what Hana says is true, I guarantee you that everyone will have no more memory of me. You nor Jimin will ever know about me. I'll leave and never return, change my number, move to a different place and it'll be as if I never existed." I said.
"I can't live without you..." He said as he kissed my neck.
"You were able to live before you met me. You'll live Kai, so will Jimin. You both deserve so much better than me. Just look at what I've done. Now I'm going to hurt Jimin and when I go tmw Jimin it'll hurt you. What good is that? Then there's a possibility I might lose my children...All of this just has me at a loss. Jimin isn't even talking to me at the moment, the spark we once had seems to have disappeared which is why I don't feel guilty. Nor do I regret what we shared. I just want you to live your life and be happy Kai, promise me that after tonight it'll be as if-"
"I am happy. I got to be with you and even if it was for a short moment. I got to make love to you in ways I've yearned too. I expressed my love for you and also showed it. Karen, you're the only girl I've truly ever loved in my existence. But I promise you that I won't bring you to shame. I love you and I'd never do anything to hurt you but I can't forget you. No matter how much you ask me I'll always love and remember you. I'll always remember this and I'll find you if Jimin doesn't." He said as he hugged me tighter.
I turned around to face him and hugged him. "Thank you."
We talked for a little while longer and soon fell asleep.
A lot happened tonight, something I myself will never forget. But now it's something I'll have to deal with and face when I see Jimin again. Knowing I'll hurt him makes me want to never see him again and just go on living this lie but until I finish what I started I'll remain here in Korea. I just hope my kids will forgive me if I have to take them away with me, because they are merely victims in all this and I am the criminal.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>To Be Continued.....