One company owner asks another, "Tell me Bill, how come your employees are always on time Every morning?"
Bill replies : "Easy, 30 employees and 20 parking spaces."
On a mountain trip a man falls down into a crack. His wife calls after him, "Are you okay?"
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"Yeah!"
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"Are you hurt?"
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"No!"
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"Not a scratch? How come?"
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"I'm not done falling ye-et-et-et-et!"
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in talking in a very interesting accent.
So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh! right. So are you two Whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember!!!😜