Chapter 34 - How far can love go
March 31, 2012
It's Lee's graduation. Habang nakapila ang mga estudyanteng naghahandang magmartsa, nasa likod naman ang lahat mga magulang, maliban na lang sa mga magulang ng mga nagtapos ng may karangalan.
Like Perci who is the youngest to sit on the space provided for honor students. He is equally embarrassed and proud to sit there with the oldies. Dahil siya lang naman ang tanging pamilya ng kuya niya. At aangal pa ba siya, Simon Odyssey is graduating with flying colors.
Sa likuran, hindi naman maipinta ang mukha ni Arthur. Wala itong kaugnayan sa pagtatapos ni Lee. If anything, he is a proud dad. But with all the problems surrounding him, halos hindi niya na alam kung anong gagawin. He just held the hand of the woman beside him.
"Don't worry. I am okay." Ngumiti si Kristina. "We are at the high school graduation of my daughter. Our only daughter. We should be happy." She said, not actually for her husband, but she is reiterating that to herself.
"Good..." Ngumiti ang tatay ni Lee. "But don't you think we should tell her?"
"Not now..."
Arthur remained silent. If not now, then when? Kapag wala na rin itong kakayahang sabihin ito?
Kristina isn't numb. Nor dumb. She can feel these tensions between them. They weren't husband and wife if they didn't know what the other is feeling. But she just smiled as she excuse herself.
"CR lang ako."
"Pasama ka kay Yaya Melay."
"Alam ko kung nasaan ang CR." She insists.
Because she looked for a more deserted wash room. In there, Kristina looked at herself in the mirror. As if memorizing her face. But she forced a bitter smile because she knew there is no use. In due time makakalimutan niya ang lahat.
Lumalala na siya. She was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimers a year ago and with that short amount of time, her lapses has became severe. She had many lucid intervals, pero marami na siyang hindi alam. She even forget the names of a lot of objects around her. She is daunted by the fact that she will forget her family, and herself.
"You are Kristina C. Gabriel." She told herself. "You are Arthur's wife, and Lee's mom. Graduation niya today. Don't lapse. Don't lapse. Please don't." She begged.
As soon as she tried to get a grip of reality, she was overwhelmed by the fact that their company is going bankrupt. She was trying so hard to ignore this fact. Siguro nga, nakadagdag pa ito sa trigger kung bakit siya lumalala— dahil sa mga problemang gusto niyang kalimutan. But that's it. She didn't want to forget anything else.
Kristina broke down.
Tuwang-tuwa si Lee habang tinatawag na ang mga nagtapos ng may mataas na karangalan. Everybody already knew it was just a battle between Odyssey and Danielle. Pero sa huli, si Dani ang nakasungkit ng pinakamataas na marka at naging Valedictorian.
Ganunpaman, she is so proud! This guy has been shuffling work and school, and being a parent to Perci. Walang hihigit sa nararamdaman niya.
"Lee, Simon Odyssey R., Salutatorian." Ani ng master of ceremony habang naglalakad si Odi kasama ang kapatid nito. Si Perci ang nahihiyang nagsabit ng medalya nito at naglipat ng tussle ng toga nito sa kabila.
Natatawa naman si Lee habang iniisip na kahit hindi siya honor student, at least nabanggit ang pangalan niya katabi ang pangalan ni Lee. She often forget this fact so she was grinning like crazy.
Pagtapos ng pagtatapos, they had dinner. Her family is gracious to let Odyssey with them. Kung hindi sana tumakas si Perci ay baka kasama din ito. Hindi katulad ng unang beses niyang dinala si Odi sa kanila, her dad is warmer this time. Her mom is even extra sweet. They even congratulated Odyssey for the honors.
Nang matapos, Lee's dad surprised her with a gift. It's a red car.
"Wow!"
"Sorry if it wasn't so good. Ang totoo, kotse 'yan ng kapatid ni Aldrin, binebenta ng mabilisan dahil bumili sila ng bagong auto. Pasensya ka na kung yan lang muna, Lee."
But to her it didn't matter. A car is still a car. She was oblivious of all the undertones of her dad's words. But Lee grew up so content with everything that she has so she didn't notice.
Also, a very extravagant car would only intimidate Odyssey. She actually preferred this!
"Pero kahit marunong ka na magmaneho, wala ka pang lisensya. Antayin mo munang mag-17 ka." Her dad said. She has known how to drive since she was 15. Hindi naman niya akalain na magkakaroon siya ng kotse. She has been driven to anywhere by a driver. She can't believe her dad is giving her this liberty.
Then unexpectedly, her dad turns to Odyssey.
"Mag-iingat kayo, ha? Palagi mong iingatan 'yan si Lee."
Odi tensed up.
"O-opo." He can't believe he is being acknowlegde like this despite being so young. But he is true to his words. Kahit pa hindi ibilin, he would always take care of Lee. Lalo pa ngayon.
Pero pagkatapos ng dinner, kinulit ni Lee ang tatay niya na iikot ang sasakyan sa village. She promised not to go to highways at pinayagan naman siya nito. Hindi siya pwedeng mahuli dahil wala siyang lisensya.
Odyssey was having the time of his life inside the car. Para silang mga nakawala sa hawla. They were so happy to finally graduate in high school!
But Lee being Lee, lumabas pa rin sila ng village nila. Gabi na naman. And if she won't cross any traffic rules, hindi naman siya mapapahamak.
"Lee! Huwag nga sabi lumabas." Paalala ni Odi.
"Wow. Masunurin kay papa! 'Yang mukhang 'yan, nobody know you always bully me..." Pangaasar ni Lee.
"Iba naman 'yon!" Odyssey's face is flushed. How dare she equate his bullying with her dad in the same sentence. He couldn't face Arthur Gabriel anymore.
"So I can't disobey the littlest, pero ikaw ginagawan mo ako ng masama?" Tawang-tawa si Lee. "Sabihin ko kaya kay daddy kung paano mo ako binu-bully... hmm? Papayagan pa kaya ako sa Singapore?"
"Stop saying that!"
"Naks, my bebi. Ang cute akala ang bait-bait!"
Habang tumatawa si Lee. They didn't realize they are already near Odyssey's apartment. But as soon as Lee turns in the curb, a familiar man was seen walking on the other side of the street.
Napahinto si Lee.
It is Odyssey's dad!
And with Odi's expression, nakita niya rin ito.
There was a lot of pain in Odyssey's eyes. But most of it is anger. Hinawakan ni Lee ang kamay nito.
"Hey..." She gripped his hand. "It's okay..."
"You knew?"
Napapikit si Lee.
She wasn't supposed to know Odi's dad. Pero hindi na siya makakatanggi ngayon. She can't pretend she didn't recognize him, lalo na sa itsura ni Odyssey.
"Paano? Nilapitan ka niya?"
"Listen..."
"Kinausap mo?"
"Odyssey."
"Kinausap mo nga? You entertained him?"
Tumango si Lee.
"Nice..." Odyssey said with a lot of mockery.
"Can't you forgive him?"
"Forgive him? Alam mo naman 'di ba? Alam mo kung anong ginawa niya. Alam mo kung anong kaya niyang gawin." Odyssey laughed with all disdain. "If there's one person I can't forgive, siya 'yun."
"I-I'm sorryy... Hindi ko naman siya pinagbigy—"
"You should be."
Biglang bumaba si Odi at halos patakbo na pumunta sa apartment, leaving Lee alone in the car.
June 02, 2019
Odyssey is trembling as he strokes Lee's face.
Perci witnessed this with a smile on his face. Ang totoo, he was just teasing his brother. He wasn't clingy like that. Mas natatakot pa nga niya sa impending confrontation nila dahil siguradong tatanungin siya nito kung bakit siya nagkaganoon— because fighting is a taboo in their family.
And he was even smiling over the fact that he, again, needed to be hospitalized for these two to break some ice. But if that's what's at stake, he will happily take it.
Naalala niyang kailangan niya pang operahan dati para lang lumambot-lambot ang kuya niya dito sa babaeng humahabol-habol dito. Before, he only rooted for Lee because she allows her to play with her PSP. But now he has grown to love her, too.
So, he just turned to the other side, pretending like he didn't exist— allowing her brother to be vulnerable.
Odyssey managed to control his trembling. His hand was already so steady as he surveys every bit of her face... her body. He can't believe she's in his arms again.
"Oh god..." He whispered as he wipes his tears away. He needs to get a grip of himself before she wakes up.
Wala siyang pakialam kung anong sasabihin ni Perci. He held her tighter. He realized he missed her much more than he's angry that he left. In the end, he knew it. He's not acknowledging the fact that having her is all that matters.
He held her tighter. He even held her hand. The same little hand he was used to hold.
And he can't help it.
She was still sleeping and he knew he was taking advantage, but he pressed a kiss on her head.
Dito nagising si Lee.
She was still disoriented with all the happenings. Kulang na kulang siya sa tulog, at gawa rin ng pagod na gising siya at maraming ginawa simula pa kaninang umaga, kaya nang mai-admit na si Perci sa kwartong ito, she slept.
She didn't realize she was being imprisoned in another's arms.
As she looks up, a pair of eyes met hers. In his eyes, it's as if he's suffering.
Then she smelled the familiar scent. It was both nostalgic and painful.
It suddenly hit her that Odyssey is hugging her. Odyssey is holding her hand.
"Uhm..." Tinulak niya ito. "Anong ginagawa mo?!"
"Lee... please..." He seems to be begging.
For what? They both don't know.
Lee looked at Perci whose back is at them.
"A-aalis na ako." She said as she walked out in lightning speed.
Pero hinabol siya ni Odyssey.
"You're heartless aren't you?" Anger is detected in his voice. As if he's not the same person who was giving her all the softness while she's sleeping.
"Aalis na ako."
"Won't you even take responsibility of Perci's injuries?"
"Wala akong kasalanan doon!" Patuloy ang mabilis na paglalakad ni Lee pero napapagod na siya. Especially with Odyssey's long legs, it was easy for him to catch up kahit nakalabas na sila ng ospital.
"Lee." Eventually, he caught up. Hinawakan ni Odyssey ang braso niya.
"Please! Just let me leave."
"No!"
"Please..."
"No... Not without your explanations."
"There's nothing to explain."
Odyssey was enraged. He can't believe she's saying this. After all these years, wala pa rin siyang sasabihin?
"Was it because of your mother?" He was the one who dropped it.
"H-how did you know about my mother? Was it Mizzy?"
"Dahil ba doon kaya hindi ka na sumama? Kaya mo ako iniwan."
"For god's sake, Odi. Ang tagal-tagal na 'non!"
"Ang tagal-tagal na pero bakit hindi pa rin ako makatulog sa gabi sa kaiisip kung saan ba ako nagkulang?! Bakit parang ang ayos-ayos naman natin 'nun? If it's your mom, bakit hindi mo man lang sinabi sa'kin? Sana nakipag-break ka na lang and ask me to get over it."
Hindi nagsasalita si Lee. Still trying to pry her arm away from his grasp.
"Pwede bang sumagot ka?" He was alternately angry and pleading. Like a crazy man. "We were in love, aren't we?"
"Hindi ba pwedeng hindi na kita mahal?"
"Hindi totoo 'yan..." There's infinite agony in his voice. "I don't believe you..." He was half laughing as he tears up.
"I'm just a sheltered spoiled brat who is used in getting what she wants. And I don't want you anymore. So I left."
"No!"
"People's hearts are fickle. It can always change."
"But not yours!" Odyssey knew this. "You followed me all those years!"
"And then what? Odi naman... Ilang taon lang ba tayo? Our relationship was just over a year. Ilang taon na ba ang nakalipas? It has been 8 years! It has far eclipsed all the years that we've been together."
"How dare you belittle those years?"
"Maybe it wasn't love..."
"No... Hindi 'yan totoo. If there is a problem, you can tell me. If something happened, you can tell me. Maiintindihan ko naman... Just tell me..." He is practically begging now. "Just say you're sorry and I will be okay..."
"I am not sorry. Kung uulitin 'yung lahat ng nangyari, gagawin at gagawin ko ulit 'yun. Hindi pa rin ako dadating sa airport na 'yun."
Tuloy-tuloy ang masasakit na salita ni Lee.
"Why..." Unti-unting bumibitiw si Odi.
"Tama na... Let me go."
"How can you not allow me to move on?"
"Then, move on." She said. Not wanting to explain.
After all these years, her wish is not to explain. Hindi niya kakayanin. At hindi rin nito kakayanin.
"How?" Odyssey laughed painfully. But his tone suddenly changes to one of begging again. "Hindi na ba talaga pwede?"
"I was married, okay?" She whispered. "So stop... please stop..."
*later*