I went to bed early, as I was extremely tired. I didn't realize moving was so hard. I woke up in the morning, feeling refreshed. I am going to start a new life soon. Yet, there is something whispering to me in the back of my mind.
“You are a cheater.” A voice in my mind whispers. “How dare you do something like that to Kai? He never forgive you. He LOVES you. He SAVED you. You DESERVE to die.”
“No.” I sadly whisper to myself. “It’s not my fault.”
“It’s all your fault. You haven’t done anything right since the day you were born. Why do you think your dad used to hit you? He couldn’t stand the disgrace of a daughter he had. You are nothing. You are worthless.” It hisses out leaving those words engraved into mind. A single tear runs down my face as I realize it’s right. A knock at my door pulls me out of my haze.I wipe my face and clear my throat to open the door.
“Why do you even knock anymore?” I ask, returning to my “everyday” self.
“I don't want to intrude on your privacy. I think about it, and then I think, ‘What if she is naked?’ And I know you don’t want me to see you, in spite of all my advances.” Kai says walking in my house. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah, I just have to get something really quick.” I say then head to the bathroom. I don’t know exactly what I need but I just need something. Maybe all I need is a minute by myself, I don't know. Then I spot it. My little razor blade in the corner. I grab it, my hands shaky. I slowly raise it to my wrist. I take a deep breath in, and drop it.
“Kai!” I scream with whatever strength I have left. He runs in, face filled with worry and I collapse into him.
“What!? Are you okay?” He asks me with audible concern.
“I stopped myself. I did it.” I whisper.
“What are you talking about?” I pointed at towards the little razor blade glimmering in the light. He remains silent and hugs me tighter. I feel his heart skip a beat and his breathing alter.
“I’m sorry.”
“No! This is good.You didn’t do it. That is all that matters right now.” He rubs my back and gives me a shaking smile. I see the pain in his eyes but there is also a spark of gratefulness.
“Can we go to school now?”
‘Yeah. I would like that.” He says softly. We get in his car. Kai looks over at me. He sighs, and holds my hand. He leans into me and whispers, “I don't ever want to lose you, Okay?” I nod my head, unable to speak. He kisses me like he will never be able to feel my lips pressed against his again. “I love you. And I mean it.” Then Kai puts the car in gear and drives off to school.
*************************************************
I hear whispers as I enter, barely audible, but still there. Kai keeps his arms around, enveloping me in his warmth. The whispers are different than what they were at the beginning. They sound more sad. More sorrow than hateful. I ignore them and just continue to my locker. Nothing new there. I meet Kayla at the top of the stairs. She is in a pair of sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt. She is only wearing mascara. She doesn’t need any make up anyway. She is so pretty it’s ridiculous. I imagine she is still distraught about her and Dylan. I would be.
“Of course you would.” The voice pops back in. I don’t have time for this. I push her, I have decided to name her Jenna, as far as she would go to the back.
“Hey.” Kayla says half-heartedly.
“Hi.” Kai says, sighing once again and rubbing the back of his neck. He does this anytime he is uncomfortable. I squeeze his hand gently, and he lowers his arm.
“Guess what happened yesterday?” She says, her eyes lighting up a little. “Okay, since you want to know so badly. I met a guy. He lives about fifteen minutes away and he is super hot.” She smiles. My jaw drops. I guess she isn’t that upset. “What? Are you going to say something, or are you going to catch flies all day?”
“I just think she is a little caught off guard.” Kai chuckles. “But that’s great. What’s his name?”
“Ryan. He is super sweet. We met at the beach. I went there to just clear my mind, so I was reading. He was walking by and he told me that I had a good choice in literature, and yes, he said literature. I mean, how hot is that!?” She pauses to breathe. “Anyway, he sat next to me and asked me what I was doing at the beach all by myself. I told him about me and Dylan, he actually just got out of a relationship, too. Turns out his girlfriend slept with his best friend. Anyway, we talked for about an hour, and then he gave me his number.” As if on cue, her phone dings. She giggles, and rapidly texts back.
“Wow. That’s really awesome, Kayla! He sounds like a really nice guy.” I manage to say.
“Yeah. I mean, I don’t really know him that well but he has been really nice to me. That is more than most people so I am going to give him a shot.” She shrugs.
“I don’t see any harm in that.” I say. Her phone dings again.
“Oh sorry. Got to take this.” She winks at me.
“Well. That is not what I was expecting to hear today.” Kai says.
“Yeah. I thought she would still be mourning over him.” I say. I will not say his name out loud. It just makes Kai angry.
“Where even is he? He hasn’t said a word to us all week and he hasn’t been at school.”
“Who cares? He isn’t apart of our life anymore.” I say trying to change the subject. The bell rings. Saved by the bell, if you will. “I’ll see you later.” I say quickly then leave.
I go to lunch, like I normally do. I sit at my table, and I am the first one there today. Two girls come up to me. The are both wearing head to toe blue. One of them is a skinny blonde, while the other is a brunette.
“Um, It’s Aracelli right?” The blonde one says.
“Yeah.” I say meekly.
“Okay. Well I don’t exactly know how to say this so I am just going to come out and say it. I’m-” the brunette clears her throat. “We’re absolutely sorry.”
“For what?” I say puzzled. What is going on”
“For doing nothing for all these years. We just sat back while everyone just nailed you. It wasn’t fair to you, and it isn’t who we are. We are never going to just stand back because we are scared anymore. We are so sorry. And we understand if you don’t want us to talk to you and if you don’t accept our apology. We don’t deserve for it to be accepted. But we are sorry.” They say, each taking turns sentence by sentence. They Start to walk away.
“Wait!” I shout, and they stop dead in their tracks. “Thank you. I really appreciate you guys making an effort to apologize. It’s the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time. And it’s okay. I forgive you. To be honest, I probably would have just stood back instead of take action, too. I’m sorry but I don’t know your names!”
“Oh! Sorry! I’m December.” The brunette waves.
“And I’m Stacey.” The blonde does a fake curtsey.
“Well, thank you December and Stacey. You have actually just made my day a lot better.” I smile politely.
“Oh! Stacey, we almost forgot. We organized this event today in honor of you. Anyone wearing blue today have pledged to not stand by when witnessing bullying. Hence the all blue.” She giggles. “Anyway, I guess We’ll see you around.”
“Yeah. See ya!” I wave bye. I look around the cafeteria.There is approximately a little over half the room in all blue with little blue ribbons tied to their wrists. My jaw drops as I see all the people. This is insane. All these people. In support of me.
“What’s up with all the blue?” Kai says sitting down across from me. “And who were those girls?” I can’t do anything but smile as I look around the room. “Hello? Earth to Aracelli?”
“Sorry. This is just amazing. The girls came over to me to apologize for not taking action against Jenna all these years. And they organized this event where anyone who is wearing blue has physically pledged to stand up against bullying.” I explain to Kai.
“Oh. That is awesome! It’s about time things changed around here. It only took about 7 years, but hey, better late than never.” He says shoveling pizza into his mouth.
“Yeah I know right!” Kayla runs over to us, without food and in different clothes then she was in earlier. She is wearing skinny jeans and a grey shirt with the Eiffel tower on it. It says the city of love on it in French.
“Hey, guys don’t mind if I go out for lunch, right?”
“I don’t care. Where are you going?” Kai asks suspiciously.
“Out with Ryan. He is picking me up in like two minutes.” She explains. Her phone dings. “Whoops. He’s here. Got to go.” And then she runs out of the door.
“Wow. I wonder what school he goes to.” Kai asks. “He seems a lot better than him.”
“Yeah. I can’t wait to meet him.” I smile. I wonder where Dylan is. He hasn’t returned any of my texts and hasn’t been at school. I mean, I’m not complaining, but it’s a little odd. I pull out an orange folder and take out a blank piece of paper. At the top right hand corner, I
put the number 25, and begin writing. I will type it later but I just write when an idea comes to me.
“What are you working on?” Kai asks. He gets interested in my writing, but he knows I don’t like him over my shoulder. I can’t concentrate.
“Kai, It is going to be the same answer it always is.” I say never looking up from my paper.
“Aw man. Can you just tell me what it’s about?”
“No. You can read it when it’s finished.” I write rapidly. Once I get an idea, more just kinda flow. Sometimes I think too fast and my hand just cramps up.
“You are so cute when you are working.” He watches me as I write. For some reason, he likes to. I can feel his eyes on me and I try my best to ignore him. but it’s really hard.
“Listen, I know you like to watch me work but can you not?” I ask still writing.
“What?! That is crazy. I will not. You cannot keep me from doing the things I love.” He states passionately.
“Then can you do it less…” I pause to think of an accurate word. “Loudly.”
“How is watching you loud?”
“It quiet on the outside, but inside my head it’s loud. Like, it’s the same as you just telling me everything you thought.” I try to explain.
“Oh.”He states, finally getting it. “Sorry. I get it.”
“Thanks. Now can you be a doll and take up my tray?” I smile at him sweetly.
“You are lucky I love you.” He says as he walks away with our trays. I continue to write my newest story. I feel inspired about what just happened to me. It is a great feeling to know that things are going to get better. It’s like hearing that you just got a new job or a scholarship. It’s amazing. Kai comes back, silently I may add, and site at the table. He is trying so hard not to say a word to me. He bounces his leg to try and distract himself.
“Okay. I can't stop myself.” He says. I look up and he kisses me. “You are too damn cute.”
“Well thanks.” I say annoyed and thankful at the same time. I put my stuff away. “I’ll write when I get home.”
“But then I can’t watch. Unless, you come over a day early…” He trails off. he has spent all his time and effort trying to get me to move in early. He won’t take no for an answer.
“I can’t possibly do that.” I say. “It is incredibly rude.”
“Well will you at least come over?” He gives me the puppy dog eyes. Ugh. I can't say no to him when he does that.
“I guess. You are so annoying.” I whine. He kisses me on the cheek.
“I know. It’s my special power.” The bell rings, and the fun is over. As I see all the people in blue, the little voice that whispers that I’m nothing slowly fades into an inaudible wisp.
A/N: Hello everyone! How is your day . . . . . Good! Guess what!? Volleyball season is over so you will be getting more frequent ( and better) updates. I am ready to return to writing, and I hope are as well. Please let me know how you feel about this chapter by voting, commenting, and telling your friends! I love you guys so much and you don't understand how much your support means to me.
Be yourself,
Winter King ;)