"Oi, what the fuck...Bailey's got a chick in her bed. A hot chick!" a low voice whispered.
I debated on whether I should let them know I was awake, but decided against it.
"She never brings girls home...bro, what the hell?" another voice murmured.
"Maybe she actually likes this one?" the first voice said.
"She must....she never hangs around after sleeping with someone," the other voice said, and I heard them creep away from the doorway quietly.
I felt Bailey stir beside me, her arms tightening around my body as she tugged me closer. She breathed out a soft sigh, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.
"Mmm, I love you," she whispered before untangling herself from me and getting out of bed. As soon as she left, my body instantly craved her touch. I couldn't get enough of her.
I continued to lay there pretending to be asleep, needing time to process everything that had taken place last night. The formal, Bailey apologising, Bailey telling me she loved me, Bailey pleasuring me so perfectly that I fell over the edge and into a blissful oblivion. I wanted so desperately to return the favour, to have her moaning my name, but she refused.
I strained my ears as I heard chatter coming from downstairs. I crept quietly to the edge of the door, poking my head out slightly so I could hear their conversation.
"Whose the hot chick, Bails?" one of the boys said.
"Shut up," Bailey said, and I heard a light smacking sound.
"No...for real, I'm not teasing. Who is she?" the voice said.
"Her name is Asha," Bailey said.
"Is she your girlfriend?" the other voice asked.
"No, she's not," Bailey replied, and I felt my heart sink a little. I wasn't her girlfriend, but I wanted to be.
"So she's just a good fuck?" one of the boys said. I assumed they were her brothers.
"No, fuck off!" Bailey snapped.
"Ooh, feisty. Does wittle Bails have feelings?" one of her brothers cooed.
"Daniel...fuck off or I swear to god I'll - ," she began.
"You'll what?" Daniel teased, and I could just imagine her face bright red with anger.
"Seriously though, Bails. What's going on?" The other brother asked.
"She's not my girlfriend, but she will be...hopefully," Bailey replied, and I smiled to myself.
Bailey and her brothers continued to talk back and forth and I heard Bailey explain to them how we met. She didn't leave out any details, telling them about each time we had hooked up. She must be close with her brothers.
"Did you fuck last night?" Daniel asked.
"Nah, we did some shit but she's never been with a girl before. I didn't want to rush her," Bailey told them.
"Wow, I've never known you to be so considerate Bails. Sounds like you're in love," the other brother said.
"I am," Bailey stated simply, and I heard them both gasp.
"Nathan...did I just hear her right?" Daniel gasped, "Did she just say she's in love?"
"I think she did, Daniel...what has the world come to?!" the other brother, who I now knew as Nathan, responded.
"Fuck the both of you," I heard Bailey say, although I could still hear her smiling through her angry tone. I heard her walking back up the stairs and I quickly jumped back into bed, closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep.
Bailey rounded the corner into her room and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to me. Her hand brushed a strand of hair away from my face and her finger trailed down along my jawline. I figured now was a good time to 'wake up'. I let my eyes flutter open, and my gaze fell instantly upon Bailey. She looked perfect in an oversized shirt and black shorts.
"Hey Lawrence," she whispered.
"Hey Lancaster," I smiled, sitting up to face her. I put my hand down on the bed and she placed her hand on top of it.
"How'd you sleep?" she asked. I could tell she was feeling awkward, waiting for me to start talking so she could gage how I would act towards her.
"Really good. You?" I replied, not wanting to give her much. Not yet, anyway. I forgave her, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to talk things through.
"Yeah me too, I liked having you next to me..." she said, biting her lip.
We sat in silence, not knowing if we should bring up everything that happened the night before. I decided I would initiate the conversation, wanting to get it over and done with.
"We should talk..." I said, "About everything."
Bailey sighed and nodded her head, indicating she was ready to have the dreaded conversation.
"I'll start from the beginning, tell you everything. Okay?" she said, and I nodded.
"I had a girlfriend a few years ago, and I never loved her. I didn't even believe in love, and our relationship went south pretty quickly. All I'd done for years was fuck girls and leave...I never had a connection with anyone and I just accepted that I never would," she said. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"And then you came along and instantly I knew you were going to change me. I didn't know how, I just knew that you would. There was something about you that made me want to be close to you. I didn't realise how much I actually cared about you until Luke hurt you. I'd never been so angry in my life Asha. If Dylan hadn't pulled me off him...I think I would've killed him."
"I flirted with you, but I never expected you to flirt back. I thought you were straight and it would just be a bit of harmless fun on my part. Then we started spending every day together and I could feel myself growing more and more attracted to you. I told myself it was just physical, but Chelsea's party changed everything. You looked so incredible, and my first thought wasn't how hot you looked...it was how beautiful you looked. And I craved your touch all night. When we kissed, I'd never felt anything like it. And I got scared...really scared. So I ran."
"At school I lied and told you that it was just a drunken mistake, and you told me you agreed. I really did think you were serious Asha. I genuinely thought you didn't like me, you just wanted to get your fix how I used to. I was so glad when our awkwardness subsided and we went back to how we used to be, having fun, harmless flirting. I could feel myself growing attached but I was in denial. And then you had your party..."
"I'd fallen for you long before then, but that's when I realised that I was in deep. You didn't laugh at me when I told you I couldn't swim. You taught me. And when you took your clothes off I couldn't breathe, I knew you were what I wanted. You made sure I felt safe in the water, you made sure I was comfortable. And when we went upstairs, I couldn't stop myself. I needed you."
"We were in our own world, just the two of us, and everything was perfect. The feeling of you under me was something I never wanted to forget, but when Jayde knocked on the door it literally knocked me back into reality. I wasn't sure if I was falling in love with you or if I already had. So I ran. Again."
"That's when I realised how much you actually cared for me Ash. I didn't even know you liked me until after that. You didn't come to school, you wouldn't talk to me. I missed you so much. I know there's no excuse for what I did to you, and I should've just grown some balls and asked you how you felt. But like I said, I was terrified. I'd never had feelings for anyone before, and what I felt for you was so strong...I could barely handle it. The thought of giving someone complete power over me was terrifying."
"When you sang at the recital I felt my heart break. I could feel the pain you were feeling and everything became so clear to me. I'd never let anyone get close to me before, but I knew I wanted you Asha. I think I always knew that. I asked Dylan to ask Amanda what you were wearing to the formal, and they helped me pick out my suit and the corsage. Admitting out loud that I wanted to be with you solidified I'd done something that I had told myself I'd never be able to do; fall in love."
"So Asha, please believe me when I tell you that I am so sorry. For everything. The fact that I've hurt you is something I'll never be able to get over, and I hate myself for what I've done. But I know for a fact that I love you. I'm so unbelievably in love with you, it's so overwhelming and it's a feeling I never thought I would experience. I feel safe and terrified at the same time, powerful and vulnerable all at once. Before you, I never felt anything. And now I feel everything, and everything is perfect...because of you."
Our eyes never broke contact the entire time, even as tears fell down both of our cheeks. I couldn't move, my hands shaking as they held hers. How could I possibly respond to that? Yes, she'd hurt me...but everything made sense. I couldn't blame her for being scared, for how she copes with her feelings. I love her. I love her. I loved her so much I couldn't put it into words. I love her.