She looked...flawless.
She wore a fitted suit and a bow tie, her hair slicked back away from her face. Her neck tattoo was visible above her collar and her arm tattoos peeled out from underneath her rolled up sleeves. She held a small white box in her hands, but I couldn't see what was inside. I could see her gripping the box tightly, her knuckles turning white and her eyes nervously looking around the room. She hadn't seen me yet, and I was debating on whether or not I should make a run for it, slip into the crowd and disappear before she could find me. Before I had made my decision it was already too late, her eyes met mine and her jaw dropped slightly, her eyes widening at the sight of me.
She walked slowly towards me, her steps faltering slightly as she gaged the emotions on my face. My feet were unable to move from where they were positioned, I couldn't have moved even if I tried. Dylan had let go of my hand and slowly backed away with Amanda, not wanting to disturb the moment between Bailey and me. In the crowded room, the only person I could see was Bailey. Even in my state of heartbreak, anger and despair, she was all that mattered.
Time was moving painfully slowly as she made her way to me from across the room. Her eyes never left mine as she walked, her hands continuing to grip tightly to the mysterious box.
Soon enough she had closed the vast space between us, standing only a few feet away. I could see she was internally debating whether to come closer, but she kept her distance, swaying slightly onto her heels and nervously licking her lips before finally speaking.
"Asha..."
"Bailey..." I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
We continued to look at each other, thousands of unsaid words being exchanged between us just by looking into each other's eyes. I couldn't hear the music, I couldn't hear anything. It was as if my mind had shut out everything else, focusing only on what was important. And that...was Bailey.
"Asha...you look...beautiful," she stammered, and I felt my heart flutter at her words before it sank slightly. She's said that before, but then she left...remember?
"Thank you, you look nice too," I said, trying to hide my emotion.
"Asha, I - ," she began, but her words faltered.
Instead of speaking she brought the box up, taking off its lid. Inside the box was a beautiful floral corsage. The flowers were intricate and entwined with beautiful gold ribbon. And the flowers were burgundy, just like my dress.
"How did you...?" I trailed off, looking from the corsage to my dress, and then back up at Bailey.
"Dylan told me what colour your dress was," she explained, and I ripped my gaze from Bailey long enough to turn to Dylan, who gave me a cheesy grin and a thumbs up.
"Why?" I asked incredulously. Why was she doing this?
She didn't reply, she just held her hand out for me to hold. My breath hitched in my throat. I hadn't had any physical contact with Bailey in weeks, and I so desperately wanted to. I reached my hand out hesitantly and she took it gently, sliding the corsage slowly onto my wrist.
"Asha, I'm so sorry..." Bailey said, her voice breaking slightly. She was choking back tears and I felt myself tear up too. I had never seen her cry before.
"Why did you do it Bailey? Why did you leave?" I asked, trying to hold back tears.
"I was scared, Asha. I was fucking terrified. You made me feel things I had never felt in my entire life," she explained, taking my other hand in hers and holding it tightly.
"You don't do attachment," I stated simply.
"That's why I ran, because I was so attached to you and it scared the shit out of me, Ash..." she told me.
"But why were you scared?" I asked.
"Because getting feelings means you are giving someone the power to hurt you," she admitted.
"I'd never hurt you Bailey. But you hurt me, so much..." I said, a tear escaping my eye. I caught it before it rolled down my cheek. I'd be damned if I spent that much time on makeup just to have it be ruined.
"I know, and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me Ash. Please?" she begged.
All I wanted to do was collapse into her arms and let her hold me. I had missed her desperately and craved her touch, but I knew I had to be strong. Tonight was the Spring Formal - a night I had been looking forward to for so long. I didn't want drama, I didn't want tears. I just wanted to have a good night.
"Can we not do this now?" I asked, looking around the room at everyone. Most people's eyes were on us and the attention we were attracting was making me more nervous than I already was.
"Then when?" she asked nervously.
"You can come over tomorrow, but I just want to have a good night tonight without any drama," I explained and she nodded her head sadly, but I could tell she understood.
I turned and walked to the dance floor, proud of myself for not caving in to her pleas. I loved her, I truly did. But she broke me, and she needed to know that. As I walked through the crowd I saw Dylan wall behind me towards Bailey, keaving Amanda to walk towards me.
"You're not upset at me for telling Dylan what colour your dress is, are you?" she asked me nervously.
"No, of course not," I replied, reaching out and squeezing her hand encouragingly as she sighed with relief.
"She told Dylan everything that happened between you two and how she wanted to make things right...I just wanted to help, to see you happy," she admitted, and I pulled her into a tight hug.
"Thank you, thats really sweet of you. I appreciate it," I told her.
After dinner it was time to cast our votes for the best dressed girl and boy. I voted for Amanda, knowing she deserved it since she put in so much hard work to make this formal happen. I shot pointed eyes at all the girls, indicating that I was voting for Amanda and they all nodded their heads in agreement. Casey then collected all the votes and ran up onto the stage to count them.
Everybody returned to the dance floor, dancing to an upbeat nineties Classic when suddenly the song changed to a slow melody. People paired off into partners, Amanda rushing to Dylan instantly and Casey running to the dessert buffet screaming something about being in a relationship with the pavlova. I stood there awkwardly, debating on whether I should go back to my table when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and our eyes met, instantly sending shivers through my spine and goosebumps on my skin.
"Dance with me?" they asked nervously, their shaking hand extending slightly.
"Bailey..." I said, unsure of what to do.
"Please," she begged, and I stepped forward placing my arms around her neck softly.
She moved towards me, her soft hands resting at the small of my back gently. She breathed a sigh of relief and looked down at me, her eyes still full of so much sadness.
"Ash, I'm - ," she began.
"Bailey, not now. Let's just...pretend nothing happened. Not forever. Just for tonight. I just want to be happy," I said, and she responded by pulling me closer and letting her chin rest on my shoulder.
I let myself fall into her chest, tightening my arms around her neck as we swayed from side to side. For the first time in weeks I felt safe, and it was all because of her.
"The votes have all been tallied!" Casey called out from the stage, and the DJ dulled his music. We all turned to face her, giving her our undivided attention.
"The winner of 'Most Likely To End Up In Jail' is...." she said excitedly, followed by a drum roll.
"Luke Hammond," she said in a dull tone. "Wow, what a shock you piece of shi - ,"
"Casey!" a teacher yelled from the side of the stage, and Casey handed Luke his certificate without sparing him a second glance.
The awards continued and I zoned out, unable to focus on anything except for Bailey's hand gripping my waist tightly.
"The 'Most Beautiful Girl' award goes to...Asha Lawrence!"
Cheers erupted from the crowd and I stood there stunned, not knowing what the hell was going on. Bailey's hand pushed me forward towards the stage and I walked up slowly, still completely unaware of what had happened. Casey hugged me as I took the award from her hand and I looked out at the crowd. My eyes found Bailey's instantly and she was beaming at me, and I smiled back.
In that moment, I was terrified. Terrified because I realised that Bailey held so much power over me. She could hurt me again and again, but each time I'd still come back to her. She had my heart in her hands, and I had faith in her that she was piecing it back together. She made me feel powerful but vulnerable at the same time. It was in that moment that I realised, after everything that we had been through, I was undeniably and unequivocally in love with Bailey Lancaster.