"Hearts united in pain and sorrow
will not be separated by joy and happiness.
Bonds that are woven in sadness
are stronger than the ties of joy and pleasure.
Love that is washed by tears
will remain eternally pure and faithful."
Khalil Gibraan
Mountainview Apartments
Saturday 2 May 2017 - 8.00 pm ..cont
His heart thundered in fear and anticipation as he sat next to her, where she indicated, watching her closely.
She was clearly very nervous, her hands clutching and unclutching at the dupatta of her sari. Her anxiety frightened him. But she was still silent. Too silent.
"Ishita' his voice was gentle, a response to her obvious fragility. "You're not sick, are you? That's not it, is it? Because I...Ishita...."
"No Raman" she finally spoke. She shook her head in the negative, staring straight ahead. "Mein theek hoon." (No Raman. I'm fine)
"Phir kya baat hai Ishita? Mihika kehti hai tumhaari shaadi nahi hui. Lekin tum...kal mein ne tumhaare aankhon mein jo dekha, woh jhoot nahi tha. Kaun hai jisse tum pyar karti ho ? Kaun hai woh Ishita?"
(Then what is the matter Ishita? Mihika says you aren't married. But you....I saw honesty in your eyes last night. Who were you talking about, whom you love? Who is he Ishita?)
She continued to look straight ahead, not daring to look at him.
His heart skipped a beat as he waited for her answer. She was so beautiful.. but so sad. The pain in her eyes, the defeat in her posture. Why? What was he missing? Why had she returned to Delhi three months after they had parted? Three months after they had made love .... three months. And her parents had disowned her. And suddenly he knew, knew the answer to his questions even before he asked them. Even before she answered.
But he had to make her say it. Tears filled his eyes as he finally came to the realization of what she must have gone through. And he had been clueless. Obtuse. He thought he knew now, but he had to make her say it. He had to wipe that frozen look from her face. Had to bring her back.
"Kisse pyar karti ho Ishita?" He repeated softly. (Who do you love Ishita?)
"Aap se " she whispered. (You)
"You love me? Toh phir jo kal kaha tha mujhse, ki Sydney mein tum kisi se mili, usse shaadi karna chahti thi, woh batane ke liye tum June mein yahan aayi thi. Ki tum ne shaadi bhi karli. Woh sab jhoot tha kya?"
(You love me? Then whatever you said yesterday, about meeting someone in Sydney, who you wanted to marry, about coming here in June to tell me about him. The fact that you married him. Were those all lies?)
"Haan" she whispered again, her voice soft as her cheeks reddened. "Jhoot tha. Mein... uss din mandir mein...mein ne toh uss din se aap ko apna sabkuch... mein kisi aur se kaise...."
(Yes, those were lies. I...that day in the temple..... you were my everything. How could I marry anyone else...)
He felt deep shame and an abiding embarrassment as the memories came flooding back. He had smeared sindoor on her forehead, and then had been relieved when she had seemed to brush it aside as inconsequential. He had had no idea of the significance of that moment for her. But he should have known. The look on her face should have told him. Subsequent events should have told him. He had been so blinded by his physical desire for her, that he had not given any thought to how and why a young woman from a traditional family, who had never once been intimate with her fiancé of ten years, had been so convinced about the righteousness of making love with him. He should have known. He should have guessed. She had been in love with him. She had accepted him as hers in that temple that day. It had not simply been physical desire on her part. She loved him. There had never been anyone else.
And he had let her go so easily. Had accepted her lies so easily. Yes, he had wanted to see her again, and yes, it had been her idea to have no contact for a year. But hadn't he been somewhat relieved too? Relieved that he could concentrate on Adi's case? Hadn't Adi been his only focus, his priority at the time? And yesterday, how could he have believed that she had moved on from him? Why hadn't he probed deeper? He had to examine his culpability, but he would do that later, not now. Right now, he had to make her speak.
"Toh shaadi nahi toh phir mujhe kya bataane ke liye Delhi aayi thi Ishita?" His voice was gentle, even as his heart smote for her.
(Then if you weren't married, what did you come to Delhi for Ishita? What did you need to tell me?)
"Mein..." (I...) she had been talking, but now her voice dried up again, the frozen look back on her face.
His heart beat uncomfortably as he inched closer to her, reaching for her shaking cold hands. He grasped them firmly, enclosing them within his, as he willed her to look at him. She turned her head slightly, looking up, finally looking at him. And as he read the unfathomable pain in those eyes, he was convinced that his suspicions were true. The night they made love, a miracle had taken place. She had become pregnant. But then what? Something had happened to the baby, that much was clear. But he had to hear it from her.
"Kya batana tha Ishita?"
(What did you have to tell me Ishita?)
"Ki aap...mein....hamara .... hamara bacha hone wala tha Raman."
(That you...I.....we....we were going to have a baby Raman)
His eyes clouded with tears as she finally admitted what he had already known. She had been pregnant.
"You were pregnant Ishita?"
"Yes" She shook her head in affirmation slowly, her hands fluttering unconsciously to her flat stomach. And in that gesture, her understood the immensity of her loss.
He did not know all the facts yet, did not know when or how. But he knew that the woman he loved was hurting, she was numb with grief, immersed in pain that was beyond his comprehension. The pain in her dry eyes spoke of an agony that went beyond what she could verbalize, or deal with. She had survived by pretending that the pain wasn't there. Mihika had said that she had never cried once since it had happened. What did she mean by "it"? Had Ishita had a miscarriage? Or had she given birth and then lost the baby? Their baby.
Tears dripped down his cheeks as he imagined her grief at losing their child. And according to Mihika, she had never mourned for her lost child. But the pain she carried in her heart was smothering her, killing her.
And he had not known. He had not guessed. He had not felt her pain. He had met her yesterday, and had walked away from her, shell shocked by the discovery that she loved someone else. He had been so wrapped up in his own misery, his own feelings, that he had not bothered about her. He had never guessed her torment.
His tears flew unchecked as he held her hands tighter. His voice broke as he persisted in his questioning.
"Mujhe ... mujhe pregnancy ki baat batane ke liye Delhi aayi thi?"
(So you came to Delhi to tell me you were pregnant?)
"Haan" (Yes) Her voice was a whisper and he had to strain to hear her. But at least she was responding.
"Isliye tumhaare amma aur appa tumse naaraz ho gaye theh?"
(Is that the reason why your parents are angry with you?)
'Haan" (Yes)
"Lekin...." (But....) He hesitated, searching for the rights words. "Lekin....baby hai nahi Ishita." (But there's no baby Ishita)
"Nahi" (No) The admission was a tortured whisper, and her eyes closed as she spoke.
"Kya hua baby ko Ishita?" (What happened to the baby Ishita?)
She looked at him, clutching his hands, drawing from his strength to give her the courage to verbalize her loss.
"My baby...."
"Did you give birth meri jaan?"
His voice was gentle, his words whispered. She shivered as the remembered horror came flooding back.
"No" she whispered, talking fast, wanting to tell him now before she lost her courage. "Accident ho gaya tha Raman. Sab meri galti hai. Mein kitni laparwah thi. Mujh se...Mein ne usko kabhi dekha bhi nahi. Mujhe maaf ....mein maafi bhi nahi maang sakti Raman. It's all my fault. But dont hate me please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
(No. There was an accident Raman. It's all my fault. I was so careless. I never even...never even saw him once. Please forgive...I can't even ask for your forgiveness Raman. It's all my fault. But dont hate me please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.)
He let go off her hands, reaching up to cradle her face, the intensity in his eyes boring into hers, through his tears.
"I can never hate you meri jaan. I know ..bahut dard hota hai...lekin tumhe mujhko batana hoga. Kya ho gaya tha ? Kyun khud ko dosh de rahi ho?"
(I can never hate you my love. I know...it's very painful... but you need to tell me. What happened? And why are you blaming yourself?)
"Mein...." her voice shook as she relived the always vivid memories of that fateful day. She had thought about that incident every day but she had never spoken of it. There had been no reason to. Speaking of it meant confronting it. And confronting the truth would kill her. But he deserved the truth. And he was holding her. He had her. He would keep her safe.
"Tell me meri jaan. Please."
"Woh...ek chota bacha gadi...gadi ke aage aa gaya tha Raman. Mein...mein ne usko bachane ke liye....mein aur kya karti? Lekin woh...woh...mein ...I slipped...Raman ....I'm so sorry. Mujhe maaf kardo please...."
(There was... a small child....he was about to be hit by a car...I had to try and save him...I had to. I had no choice. But then..I...I slipped ....Raman....I'm so sorry. Forgive me please.)
His heart threatened to burst with love and compassion as he continued to cradle her face, tears blinding his vision.
"Kab hua yeh?" He whispered.
(When did it happen?)
"Mein wapas Sydney gayi...cheh hafton ke baad...."
(Six weeks after I returned to Sydney)
"Mihika thi kya wahan tumhaare paas?"
(Was Mihika there with you?)
She nodded. "Woh Sydney shift ho gayi thi. Aur jab meri aankh khuli toh woh thi wahan. Hospital mein. Lekin mera...hamara baby...woh nahi tha Raman."
(She had shifted to Sydney by then. She was there, in thr his[ital, when I opened my eyes. But my...our...our baby was no longer with me Raman)
"Mujhe kyun nahi bataya Ishita?"
(Why didn't you tell me Ishita?)
"Mein ne socha aap...phir se Shagun ke saath ho gaye...Adi...Adi ke liye. Mein...mein aap ko...mein nahi chahti thi ki Shagun phir se Adi ko aap se dur kare... mein aap ko dukh nahi dena chahti thi...."
(I thought that you ....were back together with Shagun...for..for Adi. I...I didn't want to...I didn't want Dhagun to take Adi away from you again...I didn't want to cause any problems for you...)
He dropped his hands from her face, wiping his eyes fiercely, shaking his head in self disgust.
"Mujhe dukh nahi dena chahti thi? Aur khud ko tabah kardiya? You destroyed yourself just to spare me pain Ishita? Why? Kyun? Mein itna pyar ki laik nahi hoon meri Jaan. I'm...Im not worth such a huge sacrifice. Yeh sab., everything is my fault. That night, I should have used protection, I should never have done what I did, I shouldn't have lost control. Ishita, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
(You didn't want to cause any problems for me? So you destroyed yourself? You destroyed yourself just to spare me pain Ishita? Why? I don't deserve that much love, my love. I'm...Im not worth such a huge sacrifice. All this, everything is my fault. That night, I should have used protection, I should never have done what I did, I shouldn't have lost control. Ishita, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.)
"No Raman, I never thought, I never imagined, that I could get pregnant. But I'm not sorry that I did. Woh chand hafte...mein...mein ma thi Raman. Mera baby... mera baby woh mere paas tha...mein ne usse mehsoos kiya. Mein ne kabhi nahi socha tha ki mujhe yeh khushi mil sakti hai. I was happy Raman. Mein khush thi. Lekin mein....I didn't deserve him Raman. Mere kaaran woh...I couldn't keep him safe. It's all my fault. All my fault."
(No Raman, I never thought, I never imagined, that I could get pregnant. But I'm not sorry that I did. Those few weeks...I...I was a mother Raman. My baby...my baby was with me.... I felt him. I never imagined that I could get that happiness. I was happy Raman. I was so happy. But I... I didn't deserve him Raman. Because of me, he...I couldn't keep him safe. It's all my fault. All my fault.)
Her feverish voice trailed off and she gave him a brittle smile.
"That day at your house...if only I hadn't made assumptions. If only I had spoken to you...toh yeh sab nahi hota. Mein ne aap se nahi kaha aur uss ki natija yeh hua.... mein bahut buri hoon Raman. Mujhe pyar ka, dosti ki , koi haq nahi hai. Aap, aap bhi mujhse nafrat karoge, jab aap ko ehsaas hoga. Mein aap se kuch nahi kehna chahti thi, mein toh Mihika ki shaadi ke baad chala jaana chahti thi yahan se. Mihika bahut aachi ladki hai. She's... make sure Mihir keeps her happy... aur mujhe maaf...."
(That day at your house...if only I hadn't made assumptions. If only I had spoken to you...then all this wouldn't have happened. But I didn't say anything to you, and this was the result. I'm a very bad person Raman .... I have no right to love, or to friendship, no right at all. You will hate me too Raman, when all this sinks in for you. I didn't want you to hate me, so I wanted to hide this from you. I was going to leave after Mihika's wedding. She's... make sure Mihir keeps her happy... and forgive me please ...)
"Ishita, listen, listen to me. Tumhe yeh kyun lagta hai mein tumhe kahin bhi jaane doonga? I love you. Haven't you been listening to me? I love you. What happened with the baby was an accident. Isme tumhara dosh nahi tha. Aur mujhe kal kyun nahi kaha? Mana ki tumhe galatfaimi ho gayi thi, jab tum June mein yahan aayi thi. Lekin kal, jab tumhe sach maloom ho gaya tha, jab tumhe pata chal chuka tha ki mein tumse pyar karta hoon, toh phir mujhko sach kyun nahi bataya? Mujhse aisa kyun sochne diya ki tum kisi aur se pyar karti jo? Ki tumne kisi aur se shaadi karli?"
(Ishita, listen, listen to me. Why do you think that I'll let you go away from me? I love you. Haven't you been listening to me? I love you. What happened with the baby was an accident. It wasn't your fault. And why didn't you tell me the truth yesterday? I know that you had a misunderstanding when you came over in June. But yesterday, when you knew the truth, when you knew that I love you, then why didn't you tell me the truth? Why did you let me think that you love someone else, that you had married someone else?)
"Darr lagta tha" she said quietly. "Sach kehne se darr lagta tha."
(I was afraid. I was afraid to tell you the truth)
"Darr? Tum toh meri Jhansi ki Rani ho na?"
(Afraid? But you're my warrior queen aren't you?)
"Nahi" her eyes were still dry, but her heart wept as she shook her head. That Ishita had become lost in the past, broken beyond recognition by the sorrow she could not express. "Jhansi ki Rani toh uss din margayi."
(No, I'm not. Your warrior queen died that day)
"Kiss din?" (On what day?) She was poised on a knife edge and he knew that he had to bring her back. Back to herself, back to him.
"Kiss din Ishita?" (On what day Ishita?) He persisted, his mouth dry
"Jis din mera ...mera ...Raman my baby...our baby... jis din ... the day he died Raman. He died. He died."
(The day that my....my.... Raman my baby...our baby... the day... the day he died Raman. He died. He died)
She had finally said it. Words she had never been able to say before today. Her baby had died. She had never seen him. Never held him. Never kissed his face. Never fed him or sung lullabies to him. He would have been a few months old by now. He would have been sitting up, smiling at her, playing with her. But he had never drawn a breath. And her hopes, her dreams had died with him.
He took her hands in his again, his voice breaking, his tears flowing freely.
"Beta...beta tha?"
(Was it a boy?)
"Haan" she whispered. "Mera chota Raavan."
(Yes, my little Raavan)
"He would've been what, four months old now?"
She nodded, her face still frozen. She didn't want to think of her baby anymore. She couldn't. Her chota Raavan was gone for ever. But his papa, his papa wouldn't let up on her.
"Kitna pyara sa hota na, hamari godh mein khel raha hota. Tumhari muskaan hoti, mera gussa hota."
(He would've been so cute, he would've been playing with us now. And he would have your smile and my temper)
She nodded, trying to turn away from him but he put an arm around her shoulders, his other hand cupping her face, forcing her to look at him.
"He would have been smart, just like me. Tumhaari tarha buddhu nahi hota mera beta."
(He would have been smart, just like me. My son wouldn't be a duffer like you)
"Raman....please."
"But his smile would have been just like yours hmm? Kyunki uska papa toh sirf rota hai na? Uski mumma ko dekho, roti hi nahi. She just keeps smiling."
(But his smile would have been just like yours hmm? Because his papa keeps on crying, but his mumma doesn't ever cry. She just keeps smiling)
Her smile wavered and she squirmed, wanting to get away from him. Her baby...her baby was dead.
"Raman...."
"What were you going to call him meri jaan? Naam socha tha kya?"
(What were you going to call him my love? Had you thought of a name for him?)
"Rayansh" it was a sigh. She had never told anyone. She had named him in her mind, had nurtured him in her womb, had loved him in her heart. But she had never allowed herself to mourn him.
Until now.
"Rayansh" he repeated, fresh tears falling from his eyes. "Hamara Rayansh humme chod kar chala gaya hai Ishita. Hamesha ke liye."
(Rayansh. Our Rayansh has left us Ishita. For ever.)
And that was when she cried out. And he pulled her into his arms.
*********************************
Mihika had been standing outside the closed door, resisting all of Mihir's efforts to get her to move away.
"Mihika, for Gods sake. This is bhai. He won't hurt your akka. Let them be." He was saying when they heard the tortured strangled cry from the other side of the door
"Then what is that?" Mihika spat out as she wrenched the door open, running inside, as Mihir followed her in.
He held her back as they stared at the sight before them.
Raman was holding Ishita in his arms, cradling her to his chest, crying softly as he murmured reassurances to her.
Ishita was clinging to him, as uncontrollable tears cascaded down her cheeks, her mouth open in a silent scream, her body shaking with the sobs that wracked through her.
"Akka" Mihika cried out, taking a step towards her crying sister.
"No Mihika" Mihir said firmly. "Let them be. Leave them alone. Come with me. Come on."
And he drew her away and out of the apartment, closing the door behind them.
******************************
She sobbed uncontrollably as he tightened his arms around her, his own tears flowing and mingling with hers.
"Rayansh" she cried over and over again. "My baby."
"Its okay my darling. Cry all you want. I'm here now. I'll never leave you again. I'll never leave you."
"Raman. I want my baby. I want my baby. I want my baby Raman."
"Meri jaan..if only ...I'm sorry darling. I'm so sorry."
He rocked her gently as her thin body shook with her tears, gathering her closer, cocooning her within his embrace.
He could never in his wildest dreams have imagined that this would have happened. His realization of love had brought with it positive dreams of togetherness and living happily ever after. With the smiling young woman who had stolen his heart with her compassion. He would never have imagined that the Ishita who would come back to him would be this broken tortured woman who had been through horrors that she could not articulate.
And he had done this to her. Unwittingly, but he had been responsible. His choices had led to this moment. And so it was his responsibility r]to wipe away her tears. He would dedicate his life to making things better for her. He had broken her. He would heal her too.
"Meri jaan. My love." He murmured over and over as he cradled her shaking body in his embrace. "Ro lo meri jaan. Mein hoon yahan. Hamesha."
(My love. My love. Cry all you want my love. I'm here with you. Always. For ever)
Agar mujh se mohabbat hai mujhe sab apne gham de do
In aankho ka har ik aansoon mujhe meri qasam de do
An Hour Later
It was a subdued Mihika who opened the door to the apartment again an hour later.
Seeing her akka crying, the pain, the anguish she was in, had left her distressed. But Mihir had refused to let her go back into the apartment.
"No Mihika" he had said firmly. "You told me she has never cried for her baby. She is crying now, and she is crying with the one person who shares her grief the most. This is the best thing that could happen for her. Bhai is with her. Bhai will handle everything. Just let it be."
But an hour had passed and Mihika had insisted and short of physically wrestling her away from the door, Mihir had been powerless to stop her from returning to the apartment.
Mihika opened the door gently.
There was silence inside, and the harsh overhead lights had been turned off. The only light came from a table lamp on a table close to the sofa.
"Akka?" She called out gently, unnerved by the silence, as her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. And then she saw them. Raman was sitting back on the sofa, looking at his akka, who was fast asleep, exhausted, in his arms. The look on his face was one of deep regret and pure love, and for a moment, Mihika forgot her anger and her resentment.
She walked over softly to the couple, Mihir behind her.
"Akka....is she okay?" She asked gruffly, tears smarting in her own eyes as she saw the ravages of tears on her sisters face. She had been trying for months to get her akka to cry, but she had made no headway. And this man, he had made it happen in minutes. She had hated him from the moment she had first learnt the news of her sisters pregnancy. Akka had insisted that he was not at fault, that she had known he was married, but separated. And that he had reconciled with his wife for his child, which was why she could not tell him the truth. But whatever the truth, Mihika had resented his seduction of her sister when he was not free to accept his responsibilities. Her akka was inexperienced, naive, but her lover was not. And so Mihika had blamed him, resented him. But for this moment, she knew she had to put aside her resentment.
Raman looked up with a start. He had been so engrossed in watching Ishita that he had not noticed either Mihika or Mihir approach.
"She's sleeping. Can you set up her bed Mihika? She'll be more comfortable there." His voice was gruff, deepened by his own tears and his own heartache.
Mihika nodded and moved away, leaving Mihir standing alone.
"Bhai, are you okay?" He asked softly, his watchful eyes not missing the pain on Raman's face.
Raman shrugged. "I will be" he said quietly. "But that's not important now. Ishita is. Only Ishita is"
And he looked down again, tenderly, at the sleeping woman in his arms.
********************************
Ishita's Bedroom
Raman settled Ishita in her bed, pulling a sheet over her legs, and sat down next to her. He held one of her hands in his, his eyes never straying from her face. She had fallen into a deep exhausted sleep in his arms earlier, after what had seemed to be an eon of tears. Her last words before fatigue claimed her had been of her lost child. He was concerned that she would wake suddenly, and that her grief would overwhelm her again. He wanted her to feel secure, even unconsciously, hence his tight grip on her hand, and his resolute determination not to leave her side.
He looked up as Mihika approached, pausing in the doorway.
"Aap aakar dinner karlijiye. Mihir intezaar kar raha hai." (Please come and have dinner. Mihir is waiting) Mihika's voice was still gruff, although her hostility had reduced by several notches as she had observed his tenderness towards her akka.
"No thank you Mihika. Mein yahan hi rukta hoon, Ishita ke saath. In case she wakes up. You and Mihir have dinner." (No thank you Mihika. I'll stay here with Ishita. In case she wakes up. You and Mihir have dinner)
"I'll stay with akka. You're our guest. Please, have dinner."
Raman looked thoughtfully at Mihika. He could feel her resentment, her hostility. And she had every right to be angry. It may have been unwittingly, but what had happened with Ishita had been his fault. And Mihika had been the one who had assumed the responsibilities that had been his.
"Mihika...." he hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "Please don't get me wrong....I know all this is my fault." He gestured towards the sleeping Ishita. "But I didn't know anything until today. Now that I do know, I am not leaving Ishita. Ever. Right now, she needs me, not anyone else."
Mihika bristled visibly. "I've looked after her. We've managed fine without you." she said shortly, tears filling her eyes at this arbitrary assumption, this takeover of her beloved akka.
Raman shook his head. "I'm sorry" he said quietly. "I didn't mean that you can't manage. Of course you can. But Mihika, Ishita needs me. I don't want her to wake up and find me gone. You can berate me later, I deserve everything you have to say. But right now, I'm going to be here for her. You and Mihir have dinner, and then he can go. I'll stay here with her. I'm sorry that all this had to happen tonight. We can arrange y0ur engagement another time."
"That's not important" Mihika looked at him in horror. "Lekin...aap yahan saari raat nahi reh sakte. Yahan ki Residents society ke rules hai, neeyam hai. Hum yahan sirf tenants hai. Aap aakhir mein humme samajhte kya hai? Log kya kahenge?"
(That's...that's not important. But you can't spend the night here. We rent here, we're just tenants. There are rules in this Residents Society. We can't have men staying here overnight. What the hell do you think of us? And what will people say?)
"I don't care" he replied, looking at Ishita again. She stirred slightly and his hand was immediately on her brow, soothing, stroking her hair. Mihika watched as her sister unconsciously reached for his hand, clutching it within hers, a look of contentment on her face as she stilled once again.
Tears filled Mihika's eyes as she saw the calmness in her sisters face. It was as if the elusive peace, the self forgiveness she had been searching for, for months, was back in her life. A forgiveness that she, Mihika, had been unable to help her akka achieve, but that this man appeared to have accomplished in minutes. She looked up to see him staring at her intensely. "I don't care" he repeated, his voice softer, almost a whisper. "Koi kuch bhi kahe. Ishita ko meri zaroorat hai." (I don't care about what anyone says. Ishita needs me)
Mihika swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat and nodded her head. "I'll bring some coffee" she said briefly, giving a last lingering look at her sister, before leaving the room.
Alone again with Ishita, Raman leaned back against the headboard, his eyes never straying from her face.
There were so many relationships to mend. Mihika's resentment towards him was fully justified. But her family's anger towards Ishita wasn't. It had all happened because of him. He would need to find a way to make it right. And a way to introduce his Ishita to his family. To his son. None of it would be easy. She was so fragile, so battered by what had happened with her. He could not do anything that would cause her any further pain. He had to make sure that everything was done properly. She had to be his priority now. Nothing else mattered as much.
"Raman" she mumbled as her eyes blinked open. He tightened his grip on her hand, leaning over her. "I'm here meri jaan " his voice was soothing. "I'm right here."
Ishita closed her eyes again, her breathing even. She felt so exhausted, so overwhelmed. All she wanted was the oblivion of sleep. And she could sleep as long as he was by her side. It would be all right as long as he was with her.
Agar mujh se mohabbat hai mujhe sab apne gham de do
In aankho ka har ik ansoon mujhe meri qasam de do
Agar mujh se mohabbat hai
Tumhare gham ko apna gham banaa loon toh karaar aaye
Tumharaa dard siney mein chhupa loon toh karaar aaye
Woh har shay jo tumhen dukh de mujhe mere sanam de do
Agar mujh se mohabbat hai
Sharik e zindagi ko kyun sharik e gam nahi karte
Dukhoon ko baant kar kyun in dukhoon ko kam nahi karte
Tadap is dil ki thodi si mujhe mere sanam de do
Agar mujh se mohabbat hai
In aankho mein na ab mujhko kabhi aanso nazar aaye
Sada hasti rahe aankhe, sada ye honth muskaye
Mujhe apni sabhi aahen sabhi dardoon aalam de do
Agar mujh se mohabbat hai mujhe sab apne gham de do
In aankho ka har ik aansoon mujhe meri qasam de do
Agar mujh se mohabbat hai.
"