Tony's chest aches. He doesn't want to be like Howard. He wants to be there for his kids. He wants them to be able to come to him if they have issues or if he's done something, but he had the chance to listen to Peter earlier about the rest of the Avengers team and he blew it. Even if he couldn't change the situation, he could have heard Peter out. He could have handled it better. It's no wonder the kid is all clammed up now.
He tries to think about what set his kid off. Had Peter wanted to sit with him instead of with Pepper? No, Peter loves Pep. Was it Harley? No, they seemed to be getting along pretty well too. Maybe Peter was allergic to something in his food? But that wouldn't have sent him into a mental panic and force him to dissociate.
Tony rubs a rough hand down his face. This is getting him nowhere.
"Is Pete okay?" Harley asks when he gets back into the dinning room. Nobody is particularly hungry anymore, but the food is still spread all over the table.
"I don't know. He's taken a sensory break right now, but you should go check on him later." He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't even know what set him off. Did I say something? Is he still upset about earlier? Did-"
"Tony you didn't do anything," Pepper says softly. She looks back towards Peter's door sadly. "I think it's my fault this time. I'll go talk to him." She slides her chair back before standing.
Peter is leaving his room before she can even get close. He's wearing one of Tony's old MIT hoodies and he has a book bag thrown over his shoulder. He doesn't even look at them when he speaks.
"I'm gonna go to May's for a few days," he says quietly. "She's off this week."
"Is that what you want?" asks Tony, but his fingers twitch to pull his son into a hug. You've been gone for months. You died. Don't go. Peter nods. "Do you need a ride? I can call Happy to come and-"
"I'm just going to walk."
"Oh. Yeah, o-okay. Do you have your soundproof headphones or do you want me to-"
"I'm fine," Peter says through gritted teeth and Tony wishes he could find it in himself to hold it together.
"No you're not! None of us are fine. That doesn't mean you pull away whenever you get upset. I'm trying to help, Pete. I can't do that if you won't let me."
"I don't need any help."
"We all need help, kiddo. And that's okay. We're family, we can help each other."
"I don't need your help. You're not my dad. And Pepper's not my mom. And Harley and Nebula and- and whoever else, we're not siblings. You're not my family! None of you are. May's my family. May's always been my family. She's all I've got." Peter doesn't let anyone respond before he's in the elevator and being taken to the ground floor.
"Hey, old man?" says Harley, but his voice sounds panicked and muffled. "Dad?"
"Tony, look at me," Pepper says. She's closer than Harley, but she still sounds like she's miles away.
Tony wonders why he feels like he's drowning again. He makes to scratch at his chest, to push down, to add pressure, to do anything, but he can't feel his arm either. He can't breathe.
His body thuds to the ground.
Maybe he is just like Howard. But then again, maybe Peter's right, he'd have to have kids for that.
--:--
It's dark when Tony wakes up. He's lying on a bed and not wherever he had happened to land on the shiny hardwood of the penthouse floor before.
Pepper is holding his hand as tightly as she can in her sleep, nails digging into his skin. Her makeup is ruined when he reaches over and brushes her strawberry blonde hair away from her face with his other hand. The tracks of tears leave splotches of red in their wake. He wishes an apology could fix all of this. It won't. He rubs a thumb across her knuckles gently.
"Didn't mean to scare you like that, Pep."
Rhodey walks in as he lays there staring at the woman he loves.
"Never thought you'd go and have a stroke, Tones."
"See, that's interesting, 'cause I thought I'd have one sooner."
"This isn't funny."
"I'm not laughing."
"We make sure you eat and I know you exercise. So what happened? Stress? Don't tell me you're drinking again."
"No, nothing like that. And there's always gonna be stress, Platypus. Got into an argument with Pete, is all."
"Sure, but you have a weak heart. I mean, with your prior trauma, panic attacks, Avengers business, and helping to bring back half the population, your body needs rest, Tony. Your heart especially."
"Anything you say, Doc."
"Don't do that. I'm not trying to nag you, man, but this is serious. You can't just—"
Harley bursts into the room a still panicked look on his face, but he's trying not to be too loud, though it's clear he wants to cry and hug Tony all at once. Pepper wakes up from the thump of the door and moves back just enough for Harley to launch himself into Tony's outstretched arms.
Tony squeezes him.
Rhodey is smiling at him and shaking his head, but he can see where his best friend was moments from crying. He kisses the top of Harley's head and when he looks up again from the messy dirty blonde hair, he sees Peter standing at the door with May behind him, an angry look on her face as she nudges the teen forward.
Peter stumbles before slowly walking to the foot of the bed and dropping his head down.
"I'm sorry," he says quietly.
"Nothing to apologize for, Pete," Tony says weakly. Pepper, Rhodey, and Harley all look at him prepared to argue, but Peter is the one that speaks up first.
"Yes, there is! I've been pushing you and pushing you because I feel so...so fucked up and alone and I don't know what to do about it. It's the same thing I did with Ben and now—" Peter breaks into tears. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."
"Ben's death isn't your fault, kid. And neither is this," Tony says. "I've just been under a lot of stress recently with everyone coming back and trying to keep the team under control. This was bound to happen."
"But I shouldn't have yelled or...or said you aren't my dad."
"Pete—"
"No. I shouldn't have said any of that about you or Pepper or Harley or Nebula. You guys are my family. Just like May is." He looks up and lets his eyes roam over to Pepper. "I just— what's going to happen when you don't need us anymore?"
Pepper is up in a second, wrapping her arms around Peter and pulling him into a hug.
"We'll always need you, Peter. Nothing is going to change that." She kisses his cheek as she pulls away. "You and Harley and Nebula and Vision too, you're all our kids for as long as you'll have us."
"But what about..." he starts quietly then looks away again, tears still marring his cheeks, and she pulls him in for another hug.
Tony doesn't hear what she whispers into the kids ear but it makes him grip onto her tighter and cry harder into her shirt.
"How are you?" May asks next to him now, placing a hand on his forehead. "A stroke is serious business, Stark. We have boys to look out for; you need to take care of yourself."
"Yes, ma'am," he agrees."I'm taking time off from babysitting the Avengers as soon as I'm released."
She gives him a look and holds out a hand. "Phone."
"Pep's already called me off work, I'm sure."
"It's the first thing I did once they were able to get you stable," she said turning to face them, a hand still in Peter's curls. Tony smiles.
"But thank you, Mrs. Parker. I appreciate the thought."
"You're family, Stark." She runs a hand through his hair before kissing his forehead and kissing Harley's forehead next to him where the teen had fallen asleep, as close to his dad as he could get. She stands up straighter, walking over to give Pepper a hug once she releases Peter then drags the boy closer to her, grabbing his chin to make him look at her. "Behave."
"Yes, ma'am," Peter says apologetic and guilty.
"Stark, make sure he eats and takes his medicine, I'm pretty sure he's been skipping doses."
"Mrs. Parker, why don't you stay for a bit," Rhodey says. Tony can't recall a time they've talked much but he likes to see that Rhodey is trying.
"Sad to say, I have to get to work."
"I promise you'll still make it in time."
"Maybe next time, Colonel."
"Please, call me Rhodey."
"Call me May."
"Well, May, what if you just stuck around to make sure the kid eats. Stays present. He's been floaty a lot. I'm sure he misses you."
May looks over at a blessing Peter but he won't make eye contact with her. She nods firmly, wrapping and arm around his shoulders and placing a kiss on his cheek.
"I guess one meal wouldn't hurt."
-§-
hey futher muckers
new chappie
not much to say about this...
next one should start to feel happier and we can finally get into soft domestic goodness
its been a pretty rough start, i know
lemme know if you lot like this
i'll type it anyway, but it'd be nice to hear feedback 😅
hope y'all enjoyed
love y'all
-- angel janeé xoxo 💋