The group said a tearful farewell as Ginny and Hermione left The Burrow to return to Hogwarts. Harry was leaving London that day too in order to shadow an Auror on some out of the country mission. He said that he couldn't be reached for at least two weeks. Everyone was worried about him, but they all tried to hold it in for his sake.
Ginny and Hermione gave one last wave as they stepped onto the train. They pushed through the jovial post-Christmas crowd, found an empty compartment and sat down, shaking off their snowy coats and hats.
"I can't pretend I'm not relieved to get away from Mum nagging me about my NEWTs, but it's sad to be leaving Harry so soon. I wish the boys had time to visit up here on a Hogsmeade weekend, don't you?" Ginny said.
"Oh, yes," Hermione said distractedly. It was wholly unconvincing and Ginny cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Listen, Hermione, Ron's my brother and I love him dearly, but if you two are having problems, you don't have to hide it from me. I hardly want to lose you as a friend just because my prat of a brother and you can't work it out," Ginny said seriously.
Hermione's mouth hung open at Ginny's candid assessment. "Is it that obvious?" Hermione said, thinking of how it must have looked at Christmas with her constantly wriggling out of Ron's grasp, not to mention that fight.
Ginny smirked and raised her eyebrows even higher as if to say, 'yes it's that obvious.'
Hermione waved her hand, and the compartment door closed. Ginny looked at her amazed like a muggle who's just seen a broom go by. Hermione was too engrossed in her own problems to notice her friend's reaction to her newly practiced skills.
"It's not working out anymore, Ginny. You saw what happened at Christmas. That's how most conversations end up nowadays. Even when we're not fighting, it feels like we're forcing it," Hermione said. She was choosing her words carefully. She wanted to confide in Ginny, but she couldn't admit everything.
"I supposed that shouldn't surprise anyone, you two are so different," Ginny said.
"That's what everyone keeps saying, but it didn't use to feel like that." Ginny thankfully didn't probe into who 'everyone' was. "It's like I spent so long wishing that we could be together that at some point, I stopped seeing reality. It's like it's not so much love keeping us together, but the expectation of it." Ginny was listening intently so Hermione continued spilling out everything that had been on her mind. "When the war ended, I had been so sure of what my future held in store. Ron and I would finally be together. We would get married and have children alongside you and Harry. One day we would all grow old and take our children to Platform 9 ¾ just like our parents did for us," Hermione heaved a heavy sigh. "It had all seemed too clear and wonderful at the time. Now it seems less like a dream and more like a delusion."
Ginny put her arm around Hermione. "I know it's hard Hermione, but hey, it doesn't have to work out. You were banking your whole future on things working out with Ron, but you'll find someone else who wants what you want." Ginny said comfortingly. "You're a war hero. Every witch and wizard living will be clamoring to get a date with you."
Hermione didn't say anything, but she did feel better as if Ginny's blessing was what she had been seeking all along. It seemed to confirm that she didn't have to lose everything that she had planned for herself just because she and Ron didn't last. She knew now that she had to formally end things with Ron. She had to face this head-on and accept that things had changed. She would write to him as soon as she got back to school.
***
The minute her trunk was safely stored in Gryffindor Tower, Hermione spoke those familiar words, "I'm going to the library." As she hoped, she was completely alone among the stacks as her peers exchanged stories from winter break and compared their Christmas presents back in their common rooms. The dusty smell of the old books gave her courage like a shot of whiskey. Here, she was in control and could do what was right.
She pulled out a clean sheet of parchment and prepared to write to Ron. As tempting as it seemed to let the words pour out of her, unedited and callous, she knew that it was only the manufactured distance of a letter that made such profusions seemed wise. She decided to choose her words as carefully as if she was saying them to his face.
Ron,
Please forgive me for the coldness of writing this in a letter, but I wanted to make sure to say this just right and it really can't wait...
"I thought I might find you here," Hermione heard from the next shelf over. When she raised her head, she could see two silvery eyes peering through the books at her.
"Luna," she said grinning. "How was your Christmas?"
"Oh, it was lovely. Dad has done a lot of work on the house since last summer. It's almost finished," Luna said, winding through the stacks to sit next to Hermione. "How was yours?"
Hermione hesitated, "It was really rather nice actually. It was nice to see everyone again, to reconnect. I was just about to write a letter when you walked in that --" but she paused mid-thought to stare at an approaching silver sparkle.
As it got closer, she recognized it to be a silvery-white Jack Russel terrier, Ron's Patronus. It spoke in a hurried voice, "Hermione, please, you have to help me. I was in Diagon Alley and I tried to follow Blaise Zabini into Knockturn, at least I think it was Blaise. But somehow I got lost and this old crone grabbed me. She took my wand and locked me in here. The alley behind Borgin and Burkes, the stairs back there. Please..." it trailed off.
Hermione's mouth hung open for a moment, wishing she would blink and realize she had been dreaming. "I... I guess I have to go," she said, beginning to run out of the room.
"I'll come with you," Luna said immediately.
"No, Luna. I can't have you put yourself in danger for me... for Ron," she practically spat out his name.
"But," Luna began.
"Luna, no, please. I don't have time to argue," and she dashed off to Gryffindor Tower. Her only option was to get the cloak, sneak off the grounds and then apparate from there. The rage inside her crackled more fiercely with every step. "What did he think he was doing following Zabini down there alone. Trying to be some hero, I suppose, bring down an old enemy. No doubt he was drinking to be so foolhardy. As if just because the war is over, there aren't any evil witches and wizards lurking around. And with Harry out of the country of all times. So now I'm the one who has to clean it up. It's not like he could call the Aurors, they'd kick him out for this. Not that that stopped him from doing it in the first place," Hermione muttered to herself, talking in circles as she hurried to protect him. As mad as she had been at him these past few months, she couldn't bear to think of him hurt.
She kept the cloak on all the way to the stairs that he mentioned. The last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to herself. "Alohamora," she whispered and the door slid open before her. The revealed halls were small and cramped. They were dank and humid with the stench of an unkempt potion room. Whoever was currently using these rooms couldn't be much more appealing than their abode, Hermione thought. She crept as quietly as she could, peering into every room before entering until she saw a crumpled figure tied to a pipe in the back of one particularly small corner.
"Ron?" Hermione whispered.
"Hermione!" Ron said with instant relief.
"Shh," she shushed him as she ran to his side. "We have to hurry before she comes back," she said pointing her wand at his bindings. She quickly undid the ropes at his feet and was about to do those on his hands when she heard the door close behind her.
"Well, hello dearie," a scraggly voice said. "Two for the price of one," she cackled like a villain in a children's story.
Hermione whipped around to face the disheveled witch behind her. Before she had time to utter a single spell, her wand was flying out of her hand. The witch smirked from beneath a mess of gray, tangled hair. "Now, time to join your friend here -" but she was cut off by a delicate "Expelliarmus" as Luna rushed into the room.
The old witch flew across the room and hit a shelf in the corner at top speed. She slumped against the wall, unconscious.
"Luna!" Hermione and Ron exclaimed in unison. Hermione scrambled to find her wand in the shadows.
"I thought you might need some help after all," Luna said simply.
A sudden swoosh caught them all by surprise as a green potion bottle flew at Luna from the witch on the floor. She didn't have time to react and as the green smoke flew around her, she went rigid and fell.
"Petrificus Totalus," Hermione screeched and stopped the witch in her tracks. She ran to Luna, holding her neck, feeling for a pulse. She was breathing, but just barely. Glancing back, she freed Ron's hand and said, "We have to get her to a hospital!"
She pulled Luna to her, about to run. Ron grabbed her shoulder, "Hermione, we should apparate."
"Oh, of course," she said, forgetting herself.
Ron took hold of them both and in an instant, they were at St. Mungo's rushing Luna to a healer trying to explain what happened. It was all a blur in Hermione's mind.
Ron being pulled to a healer of his own once saying that he had been given a potion earlier which had knocked him out...Hermione being shuffled into a waiting room and sending an owl to Luna's father...A doctor saying they believed Luna would be alright, but she was still unconscious. Only Xenophilius could see her...Hermione staring at the wall, hoping someone would come out and give her more news...
***
Hermione sat in the hall, engulfed in silent worry. A million thoughts ran through her mind in guilty confusion. 'She never would have been there if it wasn't for me,' Hermione thought. 'She shouldn't have had to save me. I shouldn't have even been there. Why did Ron have to be so reckless and risk us all? But this isn't really Ron's fault, it's mine. I'm the one having an affair. Is it really an affair? I've been more a couple with Luna that with Ron. Am I cheating on him with her or her with him? Why am I such a coward?!'
Her frantic thoughts were interrupted by Ron's voice, "Hermione?" She started.
"Oh Ron, I didn't see you. Did you see a healer?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said, taking a seat next to Hermione on the waiting bench. "She said that I was fine. Whatever spell that witch used didn't do any real damage. Have you heard anything about Luna?"
"They think that she'll be alright, but they've been in there for hours without saying another word to me," Hermione sighed. "Xenophilius is with her."
Ron nodded. "Hermione, I don't know what I would have done without you... and Luna tonight. I don't know what that hag had in mind for me, but you know it wasn't anything good. I only went down there because I thought... I thought I could catch Blaise at something and make a bit of a splash. Once I was caught, I didn't know who else to call on," Ron said sheepishly, directly as much of his speech at the floor as to Hermione.
She mustered a weak smile. She really couldn't put the hard conversation off any longer. She had to tell him. "Ronald... Ron, we should talk."
"Can I go first?" Ron said quickly.
"Oh, of course," Hermione said surprised.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking tonight, well really for a while," he took a breath, gathering his courage. "I don't really know what we are right now anyway, but I don't think we should be together anymore. I love you, Hermione, I really do," he added assuringly, "but this clearly isn't working out." Hermione smiled and nodded. "We're so different," Ron continued. "I think we stopped seeing that during the war. We had all the same interests and goals then, we all did, but that's not real life. We're not going to be happy like this. I don't know if we can go back to what we were, but I think we should give it a try. I reckon it has to go better than this." He took a breath and looked to her hesitantly for a response.
Hermione was taken aback by this uncharacteristically mature declaration. "I was about to make a very similar speech, but I'm glad that you said it first. You're completely right. I haven't felt like we were really a couple since summer and I've missed you- the way you, me and Harry used to be. "
Ron smiled guiltily and said, "I've missed that too Hermione." He looked off into the distance and sighed heavily. "I'm thinking about leaving Auror training," he said suddenly as if he had wanted to say it for years.
"Oh! Ron, seriously? I had no idea. I thought you loved it?" Hermione said, genuinely surprised but remembering everything Harry had said to her at the Burrow about how poorly it was going.
Ron stared at the floor and shrugged. He looked dejected and beaten. "I did at first. And I really thought that I could do it, you know? I've always been fair with spells, and I've seen loads more combat than most of those prats on their first day. But then it got hard and again it was just 'Harry Potter and his tagalong.'" Ron stopped. It seemed like he was talking more to himself than to her. "And if tonight proves anything, it's that I'm not cut out to be an Auror."
"Ron," Hermione started.
'No, it's true Hermione. I have to do something of my own. I heard that Games and Sports is looking for some new low-level guy, maybe that would be a better place for me," he said. Ron looked utterly beaten, but somehow more accepting and calmer than he had seemed in months.
"That seems like a great fit for you, Ron. I think you'll be happier there," Hermione looked at him and wondered at all this candor. She guessed something else must have happened before tonight to get him questioning his life choices but she would never know what.
"Ron, there's one more thing I have to tell you if we're being honest," Hermione was speaking quickly knowing that if stopped, she might not be able to start again. "I've been seeing Luna behind your back for the past couple months." She braced herself for his anger, but instead, she heard him chuckle.
"You and Luna?" he asked. "Well, that's an odd pair."
"Ron," she chastised but realized she had very little right to be indignant in this situation. "I'm sorry, Ron."
"I'm only teasing Hermione. I hardly have the right to be mad, not after how everything has gone lately. I hope that you're happy together. I really mean that" Ron said. He sighed and smiled at her. He truly didn't seem mad, just tired.
"Thank you, Ron," Hermione said, utterly taken aback by how well he was taking everything. If the healers gave him some kind of draught, she would have to get the recipe.
"So Luna Lovegood eh? Tell me, does she love good?" Ron asked with a snort.
"Stop!" Hermione said giving him a playful shove and fell into a fit of giggles alongside him. She almost felt like they were back in the common room teasing each other over homework and childish schemes. This felt right. This was how it should be.
***
Xenophilius came out of Luna's room, grinning broadly with relief. Hermione stared expectantly back at him as he said, "Luna's awake. The healer thinks she'll make a full recovery." Hermione and Ron both burst into joyous laughter and hugged each other hard, releasing the tension that had grown so tight in their chests. "She's asking to see you, Hermione," Xenophilius said.
Hermione broke free from Ron's grasp with a small smile at Luna's father, she turned into Luna's room. Luna was lying on her bed, looking weakened but as cheerful as ever.
"Luna," Hermione exclaimed, running towards her bed. Luna smiled warmly in response. "How do you feel?"
"I feel very tired even though the healers say that I've been asleep for a very long time. Other than that, I feel just fine. Normally, I don't trust St. Mungo's healers to know much about healing more than a common cold, but they seem to have done an adequate job," Luna said very seriously.
Hermione smiled. Luna could be skeptical of the mainstream even from a hospital bed. Luna's opalescent skin and hair seemed a bit dulled by the harsh light of the hospital room, but still, the pale hand glowed in Hermione's.
"I feel so responsible, Luna," Hermione said shakily. "You shouldn't have ever been in that position and it's all my fault."
"Don't apologize, Hermione. It turned out just fine in the end," Luna said, reaching out to brush away a tear that was slowly dripping down Hermione's cheek.
A hesitant knock came from behind Hermione's back and they both turned to see Ron standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable and awkward.
"I'm sorry for interrupting," Ron said in an unsure tone. "But I wanted to say thank you before I left, Luna...you really saved us all back there and ... thanks." He finished unceremoniously, but full of authenticity.
Luna smiled at him and nodded, perhaps a bit uncomfortable herself. Hermione looked from Ron to Luna and suddenly turned Luna's face to hers and kissed her full on the mouth. Ron averted his eyes with an awkward look but made no objection. Luna would need more explanation in the future, but for now, this was enough.
"I'll uh, be going," Ron stammered a bit and cleared his throat. "But again, thank you, Luna. I'll stop by tomorrow to see how you're doing."
"Goodbye, Ron," Luna said. With an uncomfortable half-wave, Ron was gone.
Luna sat there with Hermione, holding hands in the uncomfortably bright hospital light for the hours to come. Sometimes they were silent and others, they were speaking wistfully of what they would do in the weeks to come at Hogwarts. They had plans for many evenings in the library, and brisk spring morning walks as soon as the weather would allow it.
They didn't know whether they would last until the end of their days. They had no plans for the next two decades full of children and marriage and other ideas too far off to contemplate. But in this moment, they had each other and that was enough for everything to be quite well indeed.