the darkest place i've ever seen is inside me and nothing scares me more
Act II — Scene IV
If Sasha said she wasn't even a tiny bit scared, well, that would be a big fat lie.
The truth was, she was scared out of her wits. She wasn't even that good at killing titans, even though she made the top ten; the incident during the invasion of Trost proved that much.
If she was being really honest, she was terrified. Joining the Scouts didn't help her worries.
It was as if everyone was surrounded by an aura of death and one false move was all it would take for everyone around her to die. She had to keep reminding herself that this was the life that they had signed up to; it was their choice to face death every day and there was nothing she could do.
But there was, there really was.
Every time she froze, someone died. Every time she hid, someone died. Every time she was out of line, daydreaming, eating, someone died. And it was her damned fault.
Like hell she was ready for this. Like hell she trusted herself with someone else's life.
There was one thing she never told anyone, though. If she did, they would never stop worrying about her. She didn't want to do that to them. There was nothing they could do to stop it, it just happened.
But, Maria, if they knew the truth...
Sasha didn't know what she would do.
Probably eat.
Sasha ate when she was scared.
(Too bad she was scared of Eren.)
(Too bad she was scared of Mikasa.)
(Too bad Armin was in the dark.)
(Too bad Jean was on autopilot.)
(Too bad Marco was too shy.)
(Too bad Connie was just as useless as her.)