When will it end?
When will this aching existence cease?
When will this god-forsaken pain go away?
What am I even living for?
What is keeping me above the water when I've forgotten how to swim?
What is keeping me standing when my legs are just too tired of bearing this weight?
I used to fool myself into believing that this burning in my chest,
These tears in my eyes,
This constant pounding in my head would go away.
But what good did that make?
It was pathetic
Just a dog's fruitless attempt to catch its own tail.
These days, I'm just surviving.
There is no living being in this ghost town that is this useless body I enhabit.
I eat,
I go to school,
I cry,
I sleep,
And then I repeat.
I'm no longer able to convince myself that I'm worth it anymore.
I can no longer believe that anyone would care were it not for what I can provide.
I survive in this barren wasteland,
Visiting the long forgotten tombs where my thoughts and dreams lay.
I visit my comatose emotions in the cold, harsh, uncaring hollow of my heart.
I wish for it to end.
These shallow reasons that loosely tie me are withered and fraying.
Every second is one second closer to breaking.
But still I wonder.
Could I ever go through with it?
Could I ever fall so hard from such a low hanging branch?
Only time could tell.
And no one will ever truly know when it ends.