The classroom doors opened, and Pandit barely stopped himself hissing through his teeth. He forced himself to look at Sameer– the real Sameer, the one standing in front of him with his hand propped against the claasroom doorway to keep it open, not the one he'd been mulling over in his mind for the past couple of days, the one who betrayed their friend Arjun – but didn't say anything as he forced a clearly artificial smile, not the warm one, but the classic mocking smile. Pandit had almost perfectly predicted how Sameer would respond to his declaration– eyes widening in surprise, face flushed with knowledge of getting caught, mouth half open in surprise and a little while later, after the gravity of situation would finally sink in, head lowered in shame– but he hadn't anticipated how much deeper the lines around Sameer's mouth would be, as though he hadn't stopped frowning since they'd left the cricket ground to talk privately. Pandit had almost denied his request for a private conversation, what could be done now anyway? As if Sameer is left with anything to explain.
So yeah, he hadn't actually called Sameer here. He'd thought about confronting him much earlier though, even gotten as far to call him at his home. He shuddered at the thought of this kind of conversation taking place on a phone, with God forbid, their family around.
He had been dreading this conversation since the past few days. Mulling, dreaming, even daydreaming- about how things might go. On one hand, Sameer might give a reasonable explanation for his deeds, as if there could be any, and on the other (and more possible) scenario, he won't have anything to say. Pandit hadn't mentioned his nightmares had he. He doesn't wannna elaborate, but they had something to do with a certain Arjun breaking off his friendship with Sameer.
Now, in front of him, solid and real and definitely not a daydream, Sameer offered Pandit a small, sad and uncertain smile. Pandit folded his arms, and Sameer dropped his chin in what Pandit dared to believe was acceptance.
"Pandit," Sameer said, too quietly to sound anything like the college President, or the cricket captain, or his usual confident and charming self. He looked up, looked Pandit dead in the eye. "Bhai tujhe bahut kuch batana hai."
"Kaha se shuru karu...." Sameer propped his hands low on his hips, pulling his elbows back.
Pandit shook his head, and Sameer, to his credit, dropped his jaw a little in surprise.
"Jahaan se shuru karna hai kar. Waise bhi tu kahaan mujhse poochke ya mujhe batake kuch karta hai"
Sameer visibly flinched at his harsh words, but Pandit didn't let himself get affected. If he wanted to set things right, he had to be ruthless. He very well knew that someone will definitely end up getting hurt beyond repair at last, so why not be hard on everyone from this moment on. At this point of time, he just had to prevent maximum damage right? Damage which had already been done cannot be repaired. The least he could do was protect the others.
He stared at Sameer, daring him to continue, daring him to explain his actions. All this while, the latter lowered his head and refused to meet Pandit's piercing gaze. But now, Sameer appeared to be waiting for Pandit to finish his thought for him. Instead, Pandit raised his eyebrow and shrugged in a sardonic display of feigned ignorance. He was pleased when Sameer sighed.
"Main aur Naina- " Sameer started with a newfound vigor, but immediately found himself getting weaker by each passing second. " -mera matlab hum do-" he sighed again "-no ke beech jo bhi hua, woh Fresher's party ke din start hua tha." He then proceded to elaborate about how he started feeling things about her, things he never should have felt in the first place. How the kiss at locker rooms changed everything.
Sameer felt Pandit's gaze hardening by each passing second, but Sameer didn't let himself get affected again.
Lehro se darkar naiyya paar nahi hoti
But were he and Naina really a boat? And most importantly, a strong one at that? One with the power to withstand the strong waves of this ocean called life. Forget ocean, can they fight the waves of a river?
".......aur tab se main aur Naina saath hai. Hum dono kabhi kabhi chup chupke mil lete hai." Sameer finally ended his side of the story and stared at Pandit expectantly, hoping that he would finally say something. However, when his friend didn't say anything for the next several moments and continued to stare at the wall with a stoned expression, he further said "Bhai sorry maine tujhe pehle kuch nahi bataya-" but Pandit still didn't budge, and honestly, it didn't look like he would anyway. Sameer's expression quickly changed from pained to a pleading one, "-bhai please kuch toh bol"
Pandit remembered his friend Sameer, but barely. He could recognize him as his old childhood friend, and recall each and every moment they had spent together.
Dost nahi bhai hai hum log
He could vaguely remember Munna saying those word, simple yet filled with a lifetime of emotions. It felt odd—thinking about the memories themselves felt like watching a movie, like he hadn't really lived them, all because of the guy standing in front of him. At this particular moment, Sameer just felt so..... unrecognisable. Like someone had changed him somehow.
All he wanted to do was run away somehow. Forget that something like this had happened behind his back and he had remained unaware. Naina was his little sister too. She had been since the moment he met her, and shall remain one forever. When Arjun had been distant and cold to his sisters, he had looked after them in his own away. Asking the reason behind their absentism from school, inviting them to their games so they could avoid their monstrous Taiji, being genuinely happy about Naina's perfect scores and Preeti's promotion to the next grade, just like her elder brother would. If he himself felt so angry at Sameer, he couldn't even imagine what Arjun might feel when he comes to know, especially when he has started making attempts to reconnect with his sisters. No. It shouldn't be when he comes to know, because if this meeting goes smoothly, it shall become if he comes to know.
But for some reason Pandit stayed here, listening to Sameer's each and every word, even though all he wanted to do was strangle Sameer with his bare hands. The photo in his pocket still continued to burn holes in his skin. A disconnected part of him had insisted on listening to Sameer, because no matter what had happened, he could still access the memories of their deep bond, but he wasn't sure if Arjun would have been able to access those, had he been in his shoes today.
So instead of pushing the issue and hearing more uncomfortable words from Sameer, Pandit had remained silent and had let Sameer finish his side. He sighed, finally looked at Sameer, and spoke so softly that it was barely audible, "Yeh sab Arjun ko bata payega?" A cold shiver ran down Sameer's spine, as if Pandit had just transported him into an icy cold mountain all of a sudden. The mountain of reality perhaps. He wouldn't hold his gaze. He looked down at the floor with just one more admission of guilt, and Pandit wasn't sure what would enrage him more: this, or if Sameer even tried to justify his actions. It was true then. He hadn't even thought about what and how will he tell Arjun, maybe it just escaped his notice that he might get caught one day.
He studied the blank look on Sameer's face for some time, then immediately forced those pictures out of his pocket and shoved them into Sameer's hand.
Sameer's eyes widened as he stared at the horrible pictures. He was sure enough that the pictures were from the speech day. In the first one, him and Naina were standing behind a pole near the conference hall, just talking. In the second picture, his hand had found his way to Naina's cheek. In the last one, his lips were firmly planted on Naina's pink plump ones. His face reddened. Pandit ne yeh dekha!
He was unable to meet Pandit's eyes, the next several moments passed too slowly to be true. The photos continued to crush Sameer under their weight, and though anyone would laugh if he hold them how heavy these photos seemed to him, they were truly the heftiest items he had ever held in his life. But like lightning, a sudden contemplation came crashing into his mind. Where had he found these? He brought his questioning gaze to meet Pandit's piercing one, and as if reading his mind, he spoke,
"Ek ladka mujhe ek brown packet deke gaya tha teen din pehle, humare college ka toh nahi tha. Yeh bhi pooch raha tha ki Munna kaha milega. Apna naam waam nahi bataya, bas deke chala gaya. Uske jaate hi maine packet khola aur yeh-" he shuddered mid-sentence. "-matlab mujhe usmein yeh mile. Pehle toh main ek dum sunn ho gaya, phir jaise hi akal wapas gayi, uss ladke ke peeche bhaag gaya." He sighed and scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Iss pehle ki Munna ko packet deta, maine uske haath se woh packet cheen liya-" he again looked at Sameer, "-toh Munna ko iss sabke baare mein kuch nahi pata hai"
Sameer immediately let go of the breadth he didn't know he had been holding. He collapsed back onto the nearest desk, overwhelmed by Pandit's torrent of words. An unknown boy had handed his biggest secret off to Pandit? Who else knew about their relationship? How long had they known?
"Ab aage kya socha hai Sameer?"
Sameer's chain of thoughts was interrupted by Pandit's words. His tone was soft, but painfully neutral, devoid of any emotion. As if he didn't want to give an opinion of his own. Truthfully, Sameer didn't know the answer to his question. What now? Pandit had unforgivingly pointed out that Arjun would never be okay with his and Naina's relationship. Sameer hadn't actually considered how Arjun might react to the truth, hadn't even taken his presence into account. He had been living in a blissful oblivion of his own, but this is reality. A reality where no one understands. But what did he have to explain anyway? That he somehow likes Arjun's sister, and wants to date her? That he feels possessive of her? That he feels things he shouldn't have?
He brought his gaze back to Pandit. Even his face was devoid of any particular emotion. Sameer calculated every single option, not that there were many. When he finally ran out of time and all the options, he shook his head and lowered his gaze shamefully.
"Are waah. Matlab janaab ne girlfriend bana li, apne so-called doston se usse chupa liya, khoob gulcharrey bhi uda liye-" Sameer's gaze immediately went to Pandit's face, but as earlier, it was blank, blunt, harsh and unforgiving. No matter how much he tried to tame it, his anger continued to grow at Pandit's use of the word "gulcharrey" it in the same sentence as Naina, let alone use it in regard to her, "-lekin bas yeh nahi socha ki uske bhai ko kya kahega. Kya soch raha hai Sameer, ki maine yeh ghatiya shabd Naina ke saath istemaal kaise kiya? Bhai main toh yeh baatein chaar deewaar mein keh raha hoon, log toh sare aam jhund banake kahenge."
Pandit's practically yelling, and Sameer is shocked past the point of an answer. "Tune kya socha tha? Ki tu araam se Naina ke saath sair sapaata kar lega, apni so-called feelings ke aage haarkar hum sabse yeh rishta chupa lega, phir college khatam hone ke baad Naina ko apni unn baaki ladkiyo ki tarah chodd dega. Aur woh bechaari masoom kya kar legi, jo tu kahega usse toh wahi karna padega na."
"Pandit ab bas bahut ho gaya." Sameer now raised his own voice, unable to take his friend's accusations any further, "Naina unn baaki ladkiyo jaisi nahi hai. Na main khud usse kabhi waisa treat karunga, na kisi aur ko karne dunga."
"Wahi toh Sameer. Tu Naina ko kabhi unn baaki ladkiyo jaisa treat nahi karega, matlab tu jaanta hai ki tune unn ladkiyo ko theek se treat nahi kiya. Aur woh bhi kisliye? Kyu ki tu dard mein tha. Agar tu khud dard mein hai, iska matlab tu kisi aur ko bhi dard dega?" Pandit's voice was gentle, like he's speaking to an upset child. The sudden shift was jarring to Sameer though, unable to keep up with this shift in conversation.
Sameer wasn't proud of how his voice cracked at this conversation. Sameer wasn't crying but he's hollow inside, so painfully hollow, like Pandit's words are carving out his past reasoning. He very well knew that what he did was wrong, but these words, coming from the mouth of his best friend Pandit, pierced a hole much deeper than what the humans could reach. As far as he could remember, Pandit had never raised his voice on him, let alone shoot the poisonous arrows of reality at him.
Pandit just smiled hauntingly, one that sent shivers down Sameer's spine, "Aaj tujhe lag raha hoga ki Pandit ko kya ho gaya hai? Aaj dost nahi, Naina ke bhai ne naate tujhse baat kar raha hoon. Aur ek bhai yahi karta-" Pandit's fist immediately came in contact with Sameer's jaw, and Sameer immediately stumbled backwards. He hissed in pain and discomfort, but he knew, he very well deserved it.
In truth,
You like the pain
His jaw was bleeding now, yet it was nothing compared to the cracks his heart was developing by each passing second. The trees blurring on either side of him.Pandit's each and every word rang in his mind over and over. "Yeh sab Arjun ko bata payega?" The breaths leave Sameer's throat in desperate pants, lungs burning and muscles aching as comprehends the situation he is in. He knows the result of this conversation. He knows him and Naina can't be together anymore.
You like it,
Because you deserve it
On the other hand, Pandit looked very well conflicted now. His mind and heart were very well engaged in a battle now. His heart was weeping at the horrible sight of his friend in pain, cursing him since he had caused it, filling every fibre of his body with regret. But his mind was still yelling that he deserved it. Deserved it for breaking so many hearts in the past, deserved it for taking poor Naina for granted, deserved it for putting their friendship on stake. In the end he listens to his mind, because truth be told, he had unknowingly let his heart take over too many times.
"Kaash yeh mukka Riya ke waqt maara hota" he took a deep breadth to calm himself down. "Tujhe pata hai Sameer, main, Munna aur Arjun bhi bahut mukke deserve karte hai, ki uss waqt tere saath khade rahein. Aaj baat khud ki behen par aayi, tab samajh aaya. Samajh toh bahut pehle aa jana chahiye tha." His words are so calm they hit Sameer like a punch to the sternum, winding him.
"Pandit bhai main sab samajh gaya-" Sameer immediately wiped off the tears he didn't know had leaked out. He deserves it. He gripped the desk tightly, as if his next words could somehow damage him. Pandit placed his hand on Sameer's shoulder to steady his vulnerable and shaking friend. "- tu chalega na mere saath? Please"
It didn't take long for Sameer to finally burst into tears, but Pandit was right there, to steady him.
Just like a good friend should
______________________________________________
They both had perfectly set up the meeting for the next day. Sameer had ringed Naina at night, and asked her to meet him at the music room. The girl had seemed pretty excited, and anxious even. Sameer was somehow getting the vibes that she wanted to say something too, but couldn't get himself to place a firm finger on it.
Yet, there he was. Standing in the middle of the music room, the same one where he had proposed her.
Her features were sparkling with happiness and he definitely liked her beautiful smile. He took her hand in his and proudly declared,
"Toh Ms. Naina Aggarwal, aaj se tum meri girlfriend ho aur mein tumhara boyfriend hoon"
Funny how happy he was at that time, when he feels nothing but plain old hollowness inside him now. He glanced around the room again, remembering the exact same window near which he had proposed her, the exact fan under which it had happened, the exact spot where she had said yes.
Sameer was pulled out of his reverie when Naina dashed inside the room, trying to catch her breadth but feeling miserably. Her features, beautiful as ever, shining brightly in the sunlight being rendered by the windows; her face, red and plump from running, sparkling in delight and anticipation. So blissfully unaware of the reality she will soon be faced with.
He considered it again, taking her in his arms for one last time, kissing those plump lips just once, staring into her large orbs for the very last time. But his gaze and mind could only go back to Pandit, who was hiding behind the cupboard, no matter how uncomfortable he might be, but still here to make sure he is fine. "Kya yeh sab Arjun ko bata payega"
"Naina ab humein ek doosre se nahi milna chahiye"
Naina stared at him confusedly, not understanding the meaning behind his sentence. Her state of confusion quickly changed to that of forced amusement, as if she was trying her best to laugh it off.
"Tum mazaak kar rahe ho"
"Nahi Naina main mazaak nahi kar raha hoon." His voice was dead serious, and the reality suddenly dawned on Naina. What was wrong with him? Is he really breaking up with her? Where had she gone wrong? But her own mind suddenly shouted at her "he was never serious" As if this wasn't enough, she suddenly felt Sunaina's horrendous voice whispering in her ear, "Lekin tum yaad rakhna,tum sirf ek time pass ho. Tumhari jaisi kitni aayi hai uski life mein, aur tumhari jaisi kitni ko usne phekk diya"
Apparently Sameer took her moment of silence for acquiescence, because when Naina brought her now-wet eyes to him again, he was much closer, and giving him a soft look (condescending, his mind supplied, he was still gazing at her with this mixture of pity and condescension, as though he knew how much he could break her), a look that told forced her to stumble backwards and away from him. She swallowed and spoke softly, "Aur mujhe iss pure issue mein koi raay nahi deni chahiye, haina Sameer?"
Sameer gave her a blank look and reached a hand out to place on Naina's shoulder, and she let him. This allowed him to just be close, could guarantee he had Naina's full attention. "Naina yeh sab tumhare, aur sabke bhale ke liye hi hai. Waise bhi yeh sab kab tak chal sakta tha?"
Naina jerked his hand away as if she'd been burned and stumbled back several steps. She seemed speechless, which was the perfect opportunity for Sameer to turn and hide his tear strained face away from her.
And most of all he just looks tired,
"Ek din tum samajh jaogi ki yeh sab tumhaare bhale ke liye hi hai. Shayad Aaj nahi, lekin kuch time baad pakka"
As if he had fought the world alone
He held Naina's horrified gaze for a moment longer before he pulled open the door and headed down the hallway to leave. He didn't look back.
And the world had won
P.S This chapter is dedicated to you Su di. This is your birthday present.
P.P.S Her second present is also delivered. #unmasked