THE SONG POLARIZE BY TWENTY ØNE PILØTS WORKS PERFECTLY FOR REMUS ESPECIALLY IN MY BOOK
You know where I'm coming from <Remus at the dark mind palace>
Though I am running to you <Evan>
All I feel is deny, deny, denial <Remus angry crying with Corruption and Ignorance standing over his shoulders>
I wanted to be a better brother <Roman>
better son <Logan and Patton>
Wanted to be a better adversary to the evil I have done <Virgil crying in front of him>
I have none to show to the one I love <back to Evan>
But deny, deny, denial <Remus angry crying with Corruption and Ignorance standing over his shoulders>
Basically I'm an emo fuck who listens to this song on repeat completely imagining the entire video to go along with this song
aNyWaYs
TRIGGER WARNING : talks about PTSD stuff
Remus POV
"You two are nerds!" I yelled at Evan and Quinn in a joking manner.
"No we aren't!" Evan yelled back, giggling furiously with Quinn.
"Nerds," Deceit agreed with me.
We laughed at the two of them, sitting on the floor with instruments strewn around them. A violin, a guitar and a ukulele. Sheet music spread everywhere and an old tattered notebook full of songs they wrote a long time ago.
Deceit sat on the couch, a glass of red wine sitting in his hand. He wasn't drunk at all, but Deceit definitely had a classy roaring 20s guy in him. So he sits there properly in his fancy ass outfit with his bowler hat and a glass of wine. An eased smirk constantly resting on his face.
Unlike Deceit, I was sting in the arm chair as slutty and gay as possible. I was more so laying on my back, with my one leg resting up on top of the chair. I was manspreading as much as possible, my other leg hanging off the arm rest. One arm was tossed over my head, dangling limply, the other resting on my thigh.
"When's dinner going to be done?" Evan asked not looking up from the sheet music he was copying down.
"Yeah, I'm hungry," Agreed Quinn.
"It's almost ready," Deceit said, looking back at the kitchen. The smell of chicken noodle soup filled the house.
"We should watch A Dogs Purpose tonight!" Evan squealed excitedly, bringing his hands up to his chest. A bright smile came across his face.
"Oh my god yes!" Agreed Quinn, a happy smile also spreading across his face.
"No...not that sappy shit," I complained. "Let's watch some horror."
Evan instantly became downfallen, giving me puppy dog eyes. I fell instantly for his adorable charms.
"We're watching A Dogs Purpose," I said sternly, looking over at Deceit.
"I don't care," Deceit said with a shrug. "But we should watch Annabelle too."
"Yes!" Quinn and I both yelled excitedly.
"What's that?" Evan asked.
"Literally one of the best horror movies," Quinn told him. "We're watching it."
"Won't that be scary?" Evan mumbled.
"Yeah, but it's a good excuse for you to cuddle with Remus," Quinn told him. This made Deceit and I laugh.
"But I already get to do that whenever I want," Evan pouted, confusion evident on his face.
"It'll make sense then," Quinn whispered to him.
Evan just shrugged, going back to his instruments. The timer went off in the kitchen, signaling the soup was ready.
Deceit moved to get up but I quickly darted over to him. I threw my legs over his and grabbed his shoulders, keeping him on the couch.
"Quinn and Evan can get it," I told him. "Go get the soup." I told the two subs sitting in the floor.
"Why?" Quinn asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
"I need to talk to Deceit about something," I told them. Evan just shrugged and laced his hand in Quinn's.
The two of them walked over to the kitchen together, getting the soup ready. I grabbed Deceit and pulled him up, dragging him to his and Quinn's room.
"You are not allowed to be in here," Deceit hissed, shoving me back into the hallway.
"I wanna talk about something but I don't want Quinn or Evan to hear me," I told him.
"What is it?" Deceit asked quietly.
"So Quinn has PTSD right? And he gets bad episodes or panic attacks when something triggers him?" I asked. Deceit's eyes narrowed as I brought it up.
"Yes," Deceit answered. "You've been the cause of many."
"And I'm sorry for those-"
"Don't tell me that, tell Quinn," Deceit hissed.
"Besides that," I said, rolling my eyes. "So I think Evan has PTSD from a certain thing, not explaining what but no it's not Corruption the glitchy fuck," I said. "But when a certain thing happens, he gets freaked out like how I've seen Quinn do and I wanna help him but I don't know how."
"Well there's lots you can do and then lots of thing you absolutely can not do," Deceit said. "Are you asking about how to minimize triggers or help him in a flashback, nightmare, or episode."
"I know what triggers him and they aren't things I have control over," I said. "How can I help him when he gets triggered."
"Help him realize that he isn't back wherever the trauma came from, convince him that it's over and he isn't here. No sudden movements or loud sounds, which will be difficult for someone like yourself. Help him control his breathing. And absolutely do not touch him unless he asks." Deceit told me.
I looked up from the banana peel I was writing all this down on. I may be a bitch sometimes with my instructive thoughts, but I never ever want to hurt Evan. I want to be able to help him.
"Where did you get that?" Deceit asked, grimacing at the banana peel.
"My ass," I laughed. Deceit sighed, rubbing his forehead.
"Is that all?" He asked, glancing back towards the kitchen. "Are we done now?"
"You bet my ass we are," I laughed.
"Do all the intrusive thoughts just get pent up inside you whenever you're around Evan and then it all comes out whenever it's not just you two?" Deceit asked with a little laugh.
"Abso-fucking-lutely." I snickered, walking back towards the kitchen.
Evan was setting bowls of soup on the table, Quinn setting out napkins and silverware. I walked over to Evan and wrapped my arms around his waist. I pressed kisses down his neck, making his giggle.
"Remus that tickles," Evan giggled, lovingly trying to shove me off.
"Get a room," Deceit snickered, pulling Quinn in for a kiss.
"What does that mean?" Evan asked.
"It's mean nothing," I said, sitting down at the table. Deceit and Evan sat next to me, Quinn across from me.
"Before we start eating," I said. "I'd like to..." I coughed a bit, literally chocking over the word. "Apologize to you, Quinn."
Quinn's eyes widened in shock. Deceit's and Evan's did too. I rarely, if ever, apologize for my behavior.
"I was a total dick to you and it caused some bad things," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up in a rare bout of embarrassment.
"Thank you Remus," Quinn said with a smile. There was a thankful look in his eyes. Relief filled me.
"Okay, lets forget that happened," I coughed awkwardly. "Let's talk about buttholes."
"We are trying to eat dinner," Deceit said while Quinn and Evan laughed.
But the laughing jolted to a halt as someone started pounding on the door. I don't think I've seen Quinn move that fast before, instantly latching to Deceit in fear. I grabbed Evan out of instinct.
"Let me in!" Screamed Patton's voice from the other side of the door, he continued pounding on the door. "We need help!"
Deceit and I were instantly up, rushing to the door. Deceit unlocked it quickly, flinging open the door. A crying, bleeding Patton instantly fled into the house. An all to familiar figure chasing Patton.
I stayed frozen in fear and the horrible crushing weight of a thousand memories bombarding me. Mostly my heart.
The stained, ripped up, bloodied white lab coat. The cracked glasses. The messy brown hair with black and white streaks through it. He absolute crazy look in his eyes.
Ignorance.