Seeing her was hell. I wasn't even prepared for it, in the halls the next day she eyed me up and down while she was talking with Gigi and made a nod towards me and Gigi turned around and looked at me. I hung my head low in shame of myself, and I realised that I felt more shame for dumping her than I did about being with her. Then I realised that there was no shame in having been with her, and I'd been wrong all along. I could still fix it, I had to. I turned around and went up to her and she looked at me expectantly.
"I'm- I- you um... never mind" I mumbled and she frowned in a very confused manner
"Sofia. Are you ok?" She asked when I was in the middle of turning around to leave the embarrassing situation
"Yeah I'm- you... I'm sorry?" I said unsurely and Gigi looked very concerned as well when I looked at her "I'm gonna go"
"Ok, bye" Kendall sighed and I quickly turned on my heel and walked away. I found my friends in my homeroom and they all seemed happy to see me.
"Hey guys" I said and sat down next to Kylie. She gave me a hug and I put my feet up on the table.
"Sofia" Bella said solemnly
"Yeah?" I sighed
"What's wrong?" This could be an opportunity to tell them that Id been with Kendall and that it was time to get her back.
"Well yesterday, I did something really fucking dumb"
"Ashley?" Hailey assumed
"No. I asked Kendall for a break"
"What do you mean?" Bella asked and Hailey looked like she understood
"I was with Kendall"
"When?"
"No, I mean with her" I repeated and they all immediately hugged me
"We still love you, it doesn't change what we think of you" Hailey reassured
"You're still our baby Soph" Bella nodded and I smiled in embarrassment. I wasn't expecting to do that, it just happened. It felt natural and I wasn't ashamed, just a little embarrassed because they were telling me they loved me.
"Thank you guys" I said and Kylie held onto me, even when the others had let go
"So are you bi or gay or...?" Bella asked
"I think I'm bi but I know I'm definitely not straight" I said "don't worry, I'm not hot for any of you guys though"
"I'm offended!" Kylie gasped jokingly
"Me too" Hailey laughed. During home room, Kylie and I talked about how I was going to get Kendall back.
"I need her to know that I'm mature enough to accept myself and stuff, but that I want her back too"
"Come over and we can talk about how you came out while she's there" she said and I nodded
"Do you think she'll think it's set up though?"
"No, not if I bring it up as a passing comment or something"
"I don't know if it's a good idea. Could you just tell her?"
"I don't know how she'll react, but sure" she said
"Thanks" I sighed and leaned back on my chair
"Your legs look good" she said and patted my knee
"Thanks" I laughed and pushed her off me "I think I'm gonna tell my mom today as well. Just to get it outta the way"
"Maybe that's for the best. Just be honest to yourself and other people" she nodded
"Ok" I sighed
~
"Sofia! Matty! I'm home!" My mom shouted up the stairs and I came out of my room and gave her a hug "yes, Kendall can stay"
"She's not here" I said and rubbed her tummy. She was almost due, my baby brother or sister was coming anytime soon and I really wasn't looking forward to it, so I had to take my opportunity to come out now while she wasn't occupied with a brand new baby. I followed her to the kitchen and sat down one the counter.
"What's up honey? You want food?" She asked and patted my thigh while she got a banana from the fruit bowl
"No" I shook my head
"You seem to be acting strange" she frowned
"I'm fine" I shrugged "just hungry"
"Ah! You teenage girls, you want food, you don't want food... I'll make you enchilada, sí?"
"Gracias" I smiled and went to the family room, put my headphones in and listened to Coldplay. I went through my texts with Kendall and accidentally typed the letter 'c' and sent it and I felt an adrenalin rush through my whole body. I put my phone down and didn't have the courage to look at it for five minutes after that, and when I did she'd just replied with '??'
Me
Sorry idk why I sent that
Ken
It's fine
Do you want your nose rings back?
Me
I'll get Ky to give them to me but thanks
Ken
Did u have anything to say to me earlier or?
Me
Just wanted to say sorry for what I did, I'm an asshole for that
Ken
Yeah it's fine
Me
Can I ask u something
Ken
Sure
Me
Am I allowed to cancel the break after one day?
Ken
Idk depends
Me
On what?
Ken
Like if ur ready to accept urself and me
Me
Came out to Hails and Bella
Ken
Cool well done
Me
And they were ok with it so that's good
She didn't text me back and that confused me so I sent another one
Me
Did u rlly just leave me on read
Ken
Don't have anything to say to someone who's clearly still concerned about what their friends think of their sexuality
Me
Wtf?! If I cared I wouldn't have come out to them?
Ken
I'm sorry but I don't think you're ready to have a relationship with someone else if you can't even have a good relationship with yourself
Not trying to be rude but that's what I think
It's probably the best for the both of us
Me
Wtf
Ken
What?
You've come out to two people and you expect me to believe you've changed after two days?
Me
I have changed pls give me another chance
Ken
Fine we're still on a break but we're not back together unless ur not ashamed of us
Me
Bit arrogant but ok
Ken
I just want a gf who's not ashamed of me
Me
I'm not ashamed of u I'm ashamed of me
Ken
See previous points I cba typing all that again I'm high asf
See u on Saturday afternoon probably maybe
Me
Bye then
I didn't know why she was acting so high and mighty, she was always high and that annoyed me but I didn't hold it against her, I loved her anyway. "Sofia!" Matty shouted down my ear and I jumped. He laughed and wandered into the kitchen. How long had I been staring off into space for? All the way through dinner I was trying to find a way to tell my mom, but I couldn't find the words or time to say it, so I stayed quiet. Later on in the evening my mom came into my room and sat on my loveseat while I was lying bed and watching TV.
"Hey mom" I said
"Hello darling. Is there something you wanted to say during dinner? You seemed to be acting strange" she said
"I don't know" I sighed and paused the show I was watching
"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" She asked and sat down on the bed next to me
"I think I'm bi" I said
"Bye?" She asked and stood up, making me laugh
"Bisexual"
"Oh. That's great honey, twice the fun yes?" She chuckled and kissed my forehead "now get some sleep, I was worried about you so I let you stay up but now you have to go to sleep"
"Ok. Night mom"
"Goodnight sweetheart. Bye" she winked and I rolled my eyes as she switched the light off and left the room
9 days later
"Goodnight Ky" I said
"Goodnight Soph" she said and rolled away from me. It was our usual Saturday night sleepover, but I was worried about coming after last week's, when it was made clear to me Kendall had purposely been avoiding me. As soon as I went upstairs, she went downstairs and the moment I went into a downstairs room she went back to her room and locked the door. Kylie soon fell asleep and I heard a noise coming from Kendall's room so I got up and made the slightly impulsive decision to go see her. I made sure I looked good before going to her room, and I quietly knocked on the locked door.
"Go away" she groaned and I was about to actually go away but she opened the door and when she saw me, she looked surprised but happy to see me "hey" she said
"Hey" I bit my lip and she leaned forward out of the roomto see if anyone was around, but all the lights were off so it was safe to say everyone was in bed and asleep, and she nodded and beckoned me into her room. She locked the door behind me and I sat at the end of her bed while she sat at the head of it, and we stared at each other.
"What's going on?" She asked
"I love you" I said and crawled towards her in one fluid motion for a kiss
"No no no" she said and put her hand over my mouth "I mean, were not together right now so this is gonna make it even more awkward"
"Ok. Get back together with me then" I said confidently "I've changed, aren't I openly bisexual now? I don't care, it's just a part of me like I'm half Spanish, I was born with it and I'm not running from it. I like it"
"I like it too. This new confidence is kind of hot too" she said "you know what you want?"
"I do"
"And that is?"
"To be your girlfriend again" I announced "only if you still like me"
"Of course I do, I love you baby girl" she said and I smiled "what are you still doing over there? Cuddle me"
"Yay!" I smiled and jumped onto her knee where I was embraced in a warm hug "I love you"
"Mmm, I love you too" She breathed as she was smelling my hair "you're so cute when you're trying to seem confident"
"You saw through that huh?" I laughed
"Yeah" she kissed the top of my head and I buried my face into her neck while I blushed. She always made me feel like such a girl, and I loved it.
The next morning when I woke up next to her I smiled and watched her sleeping, her gorgeous features all highlighted by the morning light spilling through the windows. When I was looking at her neck with a light mark I'd made on it, flashbacks of last night came rushing back to me, our hot bodies squirming around on top and underneath each other, and the feeling afterwards when I'd decided that I'd apologised to her as much as I physically could, I felt like I could do anything when I lay with her.
She woke up shortly after me and put her head on my chest while she took some time to adjust to being awake "morning" she rasped
"Morning" I smiled and kissed her forehead
"You're so beautiful" she murmured
"Shut up, you're a real life angel" I blushed and she straddled my waist
"Shh" she hushed me and kissed me gently "I love you so much, you're my precious princess"
"You're mine too"
"No, I'm the top and you're the bottom"
"You might have to switch sometimes" I joked